Staying hard while bottoming?

[jjkrkwood]

Wow, Juan, What a beautiful, insightful, and enlightened post. Made my day. And reinforced my sense that it is often overlooked that many escorts are, in fact, spiritual and sexual healers.

 

And, are skilled and Great at saying the things they KNOW you want to hear. Hence they can charge $300 per hour and are worth it.

[+ Gar1eth]

One last word: Gman, if I had you closer I would have to spank you badly. All that talk about being underendowed makes absolutely no sense. Having been lucky enough to be fucked by you I can publicly say that your allegations of lack of talent and lack of size are nothing but bullshit. You're quite the stud and you gave me an incredibly ride. You have a gorgeous dick that was a bit of a challenge to take, you fuck slowly, considerately, you are caring, you make eye contact and you were at all times aware of my reactions... that, my friend, is a ten out of ten. I don't know what you are comparing yourself to but you should stop. I am giving you a cease and desist. Now. =)

 

No, really. Cease.

 

And to all of you: You are perfect now. Your sexual ability is perfect now. Your body is perfect now. It is perfectly okay if you are curious about trying more stuff, it is perfectly okay if you want to strive for anything, as long as you remember that what you are right now is perfectly alright.

 

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_piurA6KjafM/TOPnln_503I/AAAAAAAAA0g/29pPUkttB5M/Pudently.png

 

But Juan, 'SPANKING?'- you know I'm not into the rough stuff. But thank you for your words. You are a kind and generous man. I knew I shouldn't have told you my alias on here.

 

Fellow Forum members if you ever have the chance to meet Juan you should sprint as fast as possible to make it happen. You will need to take precautions as you might inadvertantly ( most probably will) fall in love with him. You also need to know he has exaggerated my prowess as if he were an Irishman who has not only just kissed the Blarney Stone but swallowed the rock entirely.

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

I hear what you are saying about your former therapist, Gman. Did you bring up your reaction to his statement with him? I will with my psychiatrist now that I've identified it for myself.

 

Zapped--he was an interesting guy. I found him to be on the sarcastic side. But he told me he only reflected what he was given ( whoops and ouch). Actually I am on the sarcastic side. But I had trouble believing he didn't have at least a bit of a sarcastic attitude totally separate from whatever I showed him. I can't remember if I told him that I thought his statement was inappropriate because it may have only occurred to me in retrospect. I ended up leaving him during the early part of winter. I'm very resistant to therapy-- and I know you don't usually come out of a session singing-- but I was coming out on a routine basis worse than when I went in.

 

Gman

[Okliehomo]

Please stop talking.....

 

About Juan giving anyone a spanking.... OR ..... I am going to be the one that needs therapy!! And for the record, I would prefer a sarcastic one....

 

Juan, Juan, Juan.... how you talk....

 

I am doubting that you would spank Gareth "badly".... but I am certain that you would Gareth a spanking for being very bad.....as he often is....

 

Hoping to see you and Thor this Fall.... with a certain blonde who is VERY into getting spanked hard and then fucked even harder....

 

Yep.... you guessed it.... I've dyed my hair...

 

Okie

[+ Tygerscent]

You said it all right here in your post: When I do bottom, it's often intensely physically pleasurable, even without an erection. And in the psychodrama and emotional realms, it can be very powerful--whether it's being submissive, or being enveloped and feeling a man inside me in an affectionate way, or whatever.

 

 

Tyger!

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To love without personal gain can be the most significant expression of self acceptance and giving human gift possible given our human nature. Strive for the Will to Love~

 

Love is not some place you come from. It's something you are through the acceptance of Life and living it and giving back to those learning how.

 

Desire is easy to suffice and satiate~ Need is the more important then satisfaction. Strive to understand how desires can suffice need and strive for that~ What you need will bring you more then what you desire unless your desires suffice your needs~

 

If humankind can not understand and utilize technology to necessary needs provision, what is the point of technology?

 

A flower is just a flower until it comes into the reality of another thing where it is then consumed, cherished or simply ignored to be what it is~

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Life exists beyond the human experience~

 

QUOTE=Zapped;727536]Hi guys--

 

Short version:

 

If you bottom, do you say hard while getting fucked? If you don't, what do you like about bottoming?

 

If you're a top, approximately what percentage of bottoms stay hard (in your experience) while getting fucked?

 

I know, too, that age and ED drugs can make a difference. If you're old enough to have experienced changes with aging, how have things changed for you?

 

Long version:

 

I'm seeing a new therapist, a wonderfully gay- and sex-positive woman who has had some relationships with women but mostly with men (which is irrelevant to my question today, but for some reason I want to include it). We're discussing all sorts of things, including my relationship to my sexual fantasies, recreational sex and intimate relationships, sex life, etc., as well as other issues (anxiety, depression, apathy, etc.).

She was really surprised when I told her that I rarely have an erection while getting fucked. I was surprised that she was surprised, but then again she's a she. (I live out in the country and finding a currently-practicing competent gay male therapist within an hour's drive has yet to happen.)

 

I don't bottom all that often, and rarely top. When I do bottom, it's often intensely physically pleasurable, even without an erection. And in the psychodrama and emotional realms, it can be very powerful--whether it's being submissive, or being enveloped and feeling a man inside me in an affectionate way, or whatever.

 

I've seen plenty of porn where bottoms don't have an erection, and seen guys enthusiastically bottoming in real life (like the steam room at the baths) while not hard.

 

It's interesting to me that I absolutely don't remember if I used to stay hard when I was in my late teens and early 20s when I was bottoming. I do remember cumming once when I was 19 or 20 and my bf was fucking me. ("That should answer any question in your mind about whether you're really gay or not," he told me after. We laughed. Later a therapist explained that this was not necessarily the case, that cumming could be just a function of physical stimulation, but I'm sure I wouldn't have liked it SO much if I wasn't gay.) So I imagine I was hard then.

 

Then I got date raped when I was about 22 and didn't have anal sex for over 20 years (a period of time which included a long retreat into homophobia, getting married to a woman, being monogamous, etc.). So I started re-exploring anal sex in my 40s (I'm now 52). I still have some issues with it--which my therapist is helping me explore.

 

Anyway, Mr. Curious that I am, I'm interested to know about other experiences. Thanks.

 

(BTW, if there's a previous thread on this, it has evaded my search skills.)

[Rick Munroe]

I think that the brain is just 'distracted' and focusing on a different 'spot' and pleasure.

 

That's been my experience. Although, the times I have stayed hard (and shot) while getting fucked, it was pretty fucking intense. But I think it's common to not get hard so I wouldn't worry about it.