Ought There Be A Law...

[+ Gar1eth]

Or at least an unwritten rule? I wavered in whether to place this post in The Lounge, The Ask An Escort Thread or here in the Deli. I hope if this is the wrong place, I can either be forgiven or the moderators will move the thread. And there is the barest possibility that I have brought this topic up in the somewhat distant past ( ie more than 2 days ago). If there are any detractors among you who might be so gauche as to point that out, I have but one word to say in my defense, "WHOOPS"!!!

 

At the beginning here I must in order to be totally honest confess my bigotry and partisanship. I hope I won't offend too many of you out there. It is definitely not my intention. Ok-- ( taking a deep breath and bringing his courage up to the sticking point)-

I HATE SEAFOOD!!!!

 

It's rather a strong sentiment. But there it is. Now just to clarify, I am fine with them swimming along in their watery environment, but I don't want to eat them.

 

This brings me up to the point of the entire thread. Since I began hiring back in the early 2000 'aughts', I have done many overnights and weekends. And innumerable times I have been left shuddering inwardly when the escort in question orders a seafood dish. The first hurdle I have to contend with is whether the-- shall we say-- redolent odor of the dish will drive me away from the table. Yes, Yes, I know that 'good' seafood doesn't 'odorify', and to that I will simply say,"Yes, it does!!"

Or at least it does to one of my tender and heightened sensibilities ( I'm a lot like the Princess of the Princess and The Pea fame in that one respect (ok maybe not just that one respect-- I always wonder why people call me princess-- but I digress).

 

So staying at the same table as an escort eating fish is the 1st hurdle. But as bad as this is-- it really is trivial in comparison to what I hope is the Main Event !!! later on. The big question then is when we are, to be quaint, 'getting it on' will I be 'smelling fish all night!!???'

 

Now I know what many of you will say. You will say that obviously the escort-- and the client for that matter-- should perform appropriate oral hygiene 1st. And to that I say--RIGHT ON!!!! But what if the heat of passion takes over before proper dental hygiene can occur ( as if the heat of passion could ever survive second hand fish vapor-- don't make me laugh). Besides even with the best oral hygiene there is always the dreaded belch or eructation to worry about not to mention the even more dreaded FLATULENCE

 

So I am sure there might be a few fellow clients or even escorts who share this peculiar little peccadillo of mine. But even among you seafood mongers-- I mean aficionados-- how pleasant is the tasting and smelling of second hand fish when you are trying to canoodle.

 

So I'm wondering-- shouldn't escorts and clients alike-- refrain from ingesting seafood for a certain number of set hours before and during an appointment?

 

Thank you for your time.

 

Gman

[Okliehomo]

Totally agree.....

 

Anything even remotely fishy turns me off.....

 

Anyone recall a very old joke.....?

 

Upon seeing Eve taking a swim in the ocean, God turned to Adam and said, "Dammit, now I'll never get that smell outta the water...." .... to this very day, still true.

 

No, seriously, I usually take my guests to a cajun place and fish is on the menu... no problems, so far...

 

I am more inclined to avoid all things Mexican....

 

And my real advice.... No chili dogs on the plane or fajitas at the airport.... or corn, ever.

 

Okie

[Phil_musc]

Gman, I really enjoyed your post - gave me the first chuckle of the day. I love seafood so I can't empathize - I think I get Okie's position, however. Thanks for sharing - you never know when this information might come in handy.

[+ purplekow]

I think most escorts would comply if you asked them to avoid fish for your dinner out. You might say something such as: I know this may sound a bit odd, but would you mind not ordering fish for dinner, it reminds me of my ex-wife.

I love a great steak and usually take escorts to steak restaurants so though seafood is usually on the menu, i have never had an escort order it.

[+ Gar1eth]

I think most escorts would comply if you asked them to avoid fish for your dinner out. You might say something such as: I know this may sound a bit odd, but would you mind not ordering fish for dinner, it reminds me of my ex-wife.

I love a great steak and usually take escorts to steak restaurants so though seafood is usually on the menu, i have never had an escort order it.

 

You are so lucky--I seem to attract fish lovers--Rick Munroe, Brockus, Paul Hansom, Steven Draker--the list goes on and on and on...

 

Gman

[best hotel]

That was hysterical. I hate the smell of fish as well. I can deal with beer,coffee, even garlic on breath but even when masked by mouthwash, I can smell fish. I think you can politely explain your aversion and most escorts would order something else.

[leigh.bess.toad]

However, I do know of one well known escort (I've never hired him but have heard from others) who loves oysters and they tend to act much like an aphrodisiac with the gentleman. If it made him hornier, I'd say go for it. But stress the need for oral hygiene. Not that it has ever been in question with the guy.

 

But on the subject of smells, maybe someone from the learned forum can answer the question about food and smell: What in the hell is it with asparagus? And although I've never thought about it til now, does it affect the smell or taste of cum or is it only piss? Why is asparagus the only food I know of that does that? And why does it only seem to affect men? I've never heard a member of the different gender to raise the question. Just wondering.

[JT Brooklyn]

The Menu..Really

 

IF the main concern of the evening is the MENU..I'm doubting the rest of the evening is going to be very spicey!

[seeker630]

...But on the subject of smells, maybe someone from the learned forum can answer the question about food and smell: What in the hell is it with asparagus? And although I've never thought about it til now, does it affect the smell or taste of cum or is it only piss? Why is asparagus the only food I know of that does that? And why does it only seem to affect men? I've never heard a member of the different gender to raise the question. Just wondering.

 

A partial answer - only certain people can smell the particular compound that is excreted in urine when you eat asparagus. And apparently not everyone produces that compound. Some of those who produce it can't smell it.

[cany10011]

I believe it's a compound called mercaptan (similar to sulfur) that is not broken down in some people that causes the asparagus-related smell in urine.

 

As for the fishy smell, i guess i'm in a minority, as I don't mind it at all. I actually find eating meat too heavy for me before hooking up. And, since we're on that subject, i usually eat very light meals (i.e., salad) prior to hooking up so I don't feel so full and i can perform acrobatics in the bedroom.

 

 

 

A partial answer - only certain people can smell the particular compound that is excreted in urine when you eat asparagus. And apparently not everyone produces that compound. Some of those who produce it can't smell it.

[+ Gar1eth]

I believe it's a compound called mercaptan (similar to sulfur) that is not broken down in some people that causes the asparagus-related smell in urine.

 

As for the fishy smell, i guess i'm in a minority, as I don't mind it at all. I actually find eating meat too heavy for me before hooking up. And, since we're on that subject, i usually eat very light meals (i.e., salad) prior to hooking up so I don't feel so full and i can perform acrobatics in the bedroom.

 

 

People, people if you want to talk about asparagus and other non fishy odors--I say "courteously", "Go start your own thread!!!!"

 

As for bedroom acrobatics--I'm lucky if I can take my underwear off at the appropriate time without tripping.

 

Affectionately,

 

G

[leigh.bess.toad]

My apologies Gman.

[doitb4ugo]

Eating before being intimate.....I should be so locky to worry about food choices.....for me, being a bottom means fasting from the day before and being so hungry that I carry food with me so that when the hotel door closes I usually have yougurt, fruit, soda and some desert in the hallway and down the elevator....lol

[orbital sander]

Eating before being intimate.....I should be so locky to worry about food choices.....for me, being a bottom means fasting from the day before and being so hungry that I carry food with me so that when the hotel door closes I usually have yougurt, fruit, soda and some desert in the hallway and down the elevator....lol

 

Wow, I bet your Gastroenterologist gives you lots of golds stars when it is time for an exam:):)

[Guy Fawkes]

I am most of the way there with you... Until Red Lobster does the "All you can Eat Shrimp" in the fall... Hummm.... Let's just agree that I'll let you off at the Olive Garden across the alley. Ok?

[Lohengrin1979]

Eating before being intimate.....I should be so locky to worry about food choices.....for me, being a bottom means fasting from the day before and being so hungry that I carry food with me so that when the hotel door closes I usually have yougurt, fruit, soda and some desert in the hallway and down the elevator....lol

 

I am in that boat with you. I am deathly afraid of things going wrong so eating never happens before sex. Woe betide the bed mate who gets in the way of my mad dash to the snacks after an extended coupling.

 

Regards,

 

Lohengrin1979

[+ Gar1eth]

I am most of the way there with you... Until Red Lobster does the "All you can Eat Shrimp" in the fall... Hummm.... Let's just agree that I'll let you off at the Olive Garden across the alley. Ok?

 

I feel honored beyond measure that my simple little thread received a reply from Daddy. But, Daddy, I hope possibly you don't mind if I make one small alteration in our plans to meet next Fall. Could you drop me off at a nearby Outback instead? They have a new flame grilled rib-eye option that I'm really liking a lot at the moment.

 

Yours in fellowship,

 

G

[Okliehomo]

Oysters.....

 

Make me want to vomit.... even looking at them.... they are like snot in a shell.... only fishy.

 

But Justice likes to order them as an appetizer..... if he can get someone to share and David usually steps up...

 

And I can't argue with the results, boys..... hard and ready for action, action, action... always... more than most, trust me.

 

And they do bring toothbrushes and use them, appropriately ..... and David brings about a gallon of mouthwash... he's minty fresh, all over... all the time.

 

In my world, there is a worse problem than fish.... it's the dreaded man scent guys.... the no soap in the shower, no cologne anywhere guys.... that leave a bad taste in my mouth. Once.

 

Okie

[Phil_musc]

I think broccoli might have the same effect as asparagus. Ugh. But bring on the seafood, be it oysters, shrimp, lobster, etc. Not so sure about crabs, however.

[jjkrkwood]

Gar, luckily I dont have the need to eat dinner with my escorts. Just have the need to eat HIM....

[GoodFella69]

G-man, Thanks for starting this interesting thread. Given your serious aversion to seafood, why not share this in advance with the professionals you hire. I'm certain these guys would be happy to oblige your request that they order meals that do not include seafood. After all, their top priority should be to ensure your satisfaction with their companionship in every way.

[+ Gar1eth]

G-man, Thanks for starting this interesting thread. Given your serious aversion to seafood, why not share this in advance with the professionals you hire. I'm certain these guys would be happy to oblige your request that they order meals that do not include seafood. After all, their top priority should be to ensure your satisfaction with their companionship in every way.

 

The problem is it is so unusual to not like seafood. And I feel that if I am going to be with the guy for a weekend-- that might start it off on a bad note as a difficult to please client.

 

G

[+ purplekow]

Gar So let me be clear, you really can't abide seafood to the point that it ruins sex with an escort and you will not let him know this as it may cause him distress to the point that the weekend is strained. Do you set yourself up for failure in all aspects of your life or only this one?

[+ deej]

Gar So let me be clear, you really can't abide seafood to the point that it ruins sex with an escort and you will not let him know this as it may cause him distress to the point that the weekend is strained. Do you set yourself up for failure in all aspects of your life or only this one?

 

Shrewd and succinct, pk.

 

Communication with an escort, FULL communication, is critical to an hourly appointment much less a weekend. If something is such a non-starter that you have to complain to strangers and you DO NOT MENTION IT up front (or during) your liaison then you're doomed to fail.

 

And it's not just escorts. If you're unable to adequately communicate your likes/dislikes with any partner, you're wide open to any form of sexual abuse that comes your way. If it hurts, SAY SO. If it's unpleasant, SAY SO. If it smells bad, SAY SO.

 

If you don't SAY SO, it's on you.

[JoeyBryant]

But what if the heat of passion takes over before proper dental hygiene can occur

 

So I'm wondering-- shouldn't escorts and clients alike-- refrain from ingesting seafood for a certain number of set hours before and during an appointment?

 

Thank you for your time.

 

Gman

 

Umm, that's unheard of with me. I know exactly where my toothbrush or gum is located before I even eat seafood. Fresh breath starts at the tongue, not the teeth.

 

I like seafood...there's no reason it should spoil a evening. There's lots of other food such as garlic, some types of Italian, and (the much more repulsive) Mexican food that will do FAR worst things to your breath than seafood.

 

Sorry you've met guys who didn't realize their shit stank after a superb dinner.