The Protocol on Tipping ?

[jjkrkwood]

Hi,

 

i am posting this here first before posing the question to the "clients", but was wondering what the protocol is on "tipping" the escort.

 

Personally as escorts are usually in business for themselves, I dont see it necessary to tip for service especially if their rate is $300 per hr. I do not put them in the same category as hairdressers or waiters, who work for someone else and turn over a bulk of the proceeds to the Boss, and only have tips and a very small paycheck to rely on....

 

Please advise what your idea as escorts is on this matter. Do you expect tips, and does it determine If you will book that client again ?

 

Thank you

[Scorpio]

Search the archives opinions vary

[mansniffing]

Thank you again Scorpio.

[Decatur Guy]

I tip if the charge is on the low end of the scale and the encounter is great or we go over, etc. I don't tip if the escort charges on the high end. I assume the tip is built in.

[Guest quadz]

I suppose it depends on how the service was

[jjkrkwood]

Thanks to the guys that were polite enuf to reply. I will ignore the comments from Scorp and Sniffer as they accomplished nothing except to let me know they were rude. ( well I guess that IS something?)

[colbyjansen]

Well I'll just say that it's an honest question. Some guys tip me some don't. My rate is $275, so basically it gives the guy the option to go to $300 if he so chooses. But it's no matter to me either way, I certainly appreciate a tip, but it's no expected. I've been given a few hundred extra as a tip (which is not ordinary) and as low as $4 US (which was a really funny story actually, basically since I'm American, not Canadian, a client gave me an extra $4 because he just had it laying around - it was very cute at the time).

 

Basically I would just say if you feel like tipping, just go with what you feel like giving. If not, it's not expected, if a guy expected $400, he should advertise that on his ad.

[Electra 225]

Regarding tipping: I've given this matter a great deal of thought over the years (and I've been hiring since the days of print ads in bar rags). My experience tells me that most, if not all, providers are self-employed and have priced their time and services according to market forces and their reputation for quality and service. Therefore, to me, a quoted price is the net price paid. That being said, if there are any extras such as meals, tickets to events or shows, transportation/mileage (over and above normal travel time and costs for an out-call--if he drives down the street, that is his nickel, if he drives a distance, then it is my nickel), hotel, etc. This also applies to masseurs: I believe that they are charging a fixed rate for time and talent and any out-of-pocket costs for them to travel to me or other expenses (as noted, above) should be paid by me. If the encounter is a good one, I am more than willing to become (and it is my policy to do so) a regular client. Also, even when securing the services of a provider for the first time, I always schedule a two-hour session for escorts and a 90-minute session for massuers, so that, in effect, can be considered a "tip". Just my two cents worth....

[+ deej]

Thanks to the guys that were polite enuf to reply. I will ignore the comments from Scorp and Sniffer as they accomplished nothing except to let me know they were rude. ( well I guess that IS something?)

 

The only rudeness I see is coming from you.

 

As it happens, this topic is THE MOST COMMON recurring discussion topic around here and all of those previous discussions over the last decade or more are available for searching.

 

One of the things you learn from reading previous discussions is that there are two positions: Do and Don't. The reasoning on both sides has remained constant for more than a decade, and I don't see any reason it might change any time soon.

 

You were given possibly the very best answer to the question you asked and you bit the hand that feeds you. Who was rude?

[Strafe13]

I respectfully disagree with you here, deej. The original poster faced the same curt replies on his thread asking for clients' opinions. They said their piece then. I didn't see the need for them (as non-escorts, mind you) to come on the escorts' thread, where the original poster sought escorts' opinions, and tell him to research old threads. Further, what difference should it make if the topic's been discussed before? If one is seeking new and/or current impressions, then I don't see why he shouldn't ask again. Plus the "do the research" meme assumes that one is familiar with the internal "subculture" or norms of forums like this. As a newbie, one likely would not be so familiar to know that many posters react harshly to people asking questions the seasoned veterans feel have been discussed to death. If someone is tired of a particular topic, he can easily ignore it and comment on other supposedly "original" threads. Of course, as Sherlock Holmes said, "it's all been done before" so good luck finding a thread with a topic that hasn't been discussed in all the time people have been commenting.

 

To answer the OP's question, I do not tip because I feel that escorts are not in the same category as most service providers who are paid relatively meagerly and need tips to make ends meet. Plus, I have to really save up to treat myself to time w/an escort, so the tip is a significant amount of $ to me. I'd rather put it towards building up my next escort fund or have it go towards a multi-hr appt to really treat myself. Just my 2 cents

[Guy Fawkes]

Tipping is usually not expected; but very much appreciated if received for exceptional service.

 

http://markmeynell.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/pisa-leaning-tower-illusion.jpg

[+ deej]

I respectfully disagree with you here, deej.

 

No harm there. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

 

It's just the way I was raised. When people try to help me, I generally thank them.

 

Note that I did not, ever, suggest that the question should not be asked again. There is no harm in asking again. If I gave the impression that I am against asking a question again let me reiterate that it's perfectly OK to ask a question that has been asked before!

 

There are more gracious ways to accept the answers one gets.

 

If you want a specific answer, or if there's one you DON'T want, it's a good idea if you put that in the original question. But that wasn't done here, either time. A poster answered a question and was called rude for doing so. When we devolve to that, why should anyone answer a question?

[Strafe13]

I get what you're saying, deej. I have to say, though, at first glance when I read the 2 responses telling the OP to research the issue (on both threads, no less) I took it as a bit rude on their part, and not for the purpose of just providing an answer. That's just the way it came across to me. If I misinterpreted those commenters' intentions, then I do apologize. It's just that in other threads where people comment like that it's usually in a condescending manner so as to insinuate why is the OP being lazy, rather than here's how we can help you out. I admit that I may have misread the situation, here. I don't think a new poster would have necessarily known that this topic's been discussed a lot before, so as to know to preface his recent query with a disclaimer that he's looking for something different or more specific than previously discussed. Since the OP took those comments (in both threads) as rude, then I at least see that even if I was mistaken as to those commenters' intentions, my reaction wasn't so off-base as to be an unreasonable one. Glad we can disagree (although I don't think we really are) in a respectful manner.

 

No harm there. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

 

It's just the way I was raised. When people try to help me, I generally thank them.

 

Note that I did not, ever, suggest that the question should not be asked again. There is no harm in asking again. If I gave the impression that I am against asking a question again let me reiterate that it's perfectly OK to ask a question that has been asked before!

 

There are more gracious ways to accept the answers one gets.

 

If you want a specific answer, or if there's one you DON'T want, it's a good idea if you put that in the original question. But that wasn't done here, either time. A poster answered a question and was called rude for doing so. When we devolve to that, why should anyone answer a question?

[+ deej]

I suspect we agree more than we disagree. :-)

 

There's a quotation from Albert Einstein that has been paraphrased in various forms and used in various engineering disciplines:

 

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome."

 

The one thing we know for damned sure in this forum (and life in general) is that guys WILL do the same thing over and over again and hope for the best. It's like Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown, time and time again.

 

There's no reason to go beating each other up when we've done it again, but there's nothing wrong with pointing it out.

[jjkrkwood]

Well I'll just say that it's an honest question. Some guys tip me some don't. My rate is $275, so basically it gives the guy the option to go to $300 if he so chooses. But it's no matter to me either way, I certainly appreciate a tip, but it's no expected. I've been given a few hundred extra as a tip (which is not ordinary) and as low as $4 US (which was a really funny story actually, basically since I'm American, not Canadian, a client gave me an extra $4 because he just had it laying around - it was very cute at the time).

 

Basically I would just say if you feel like tipping, just go with what you feel like giving. If not, it's not expected, if a guy expected $400, he should advertise that on his ad.

 

THANKS Colby, your inoput is much appreciated. Its one thing to get perspective from the client, but i was also interested in getting the escorts feeling on the issue. Best regards

[jjkrkwood]

The only rudeness I see is coming from you.

 

As it happens, this topic is THE MOST COMMON recurring discussion topic around here and all of those previous discussions over the last decade or more are available for searching.

 

One of the things you learn from reading previous discussions is that there are two positions: Do and Don't. The reasoning on both sides has remained constant for more than a decade, and I don't see any reason it might change any time soon.

 

You were given possibly the very best answer to the question you asked and you bit the hand that feeds you. Who was rude?

 

Opinions are like hearts, everybody has one. As a very new member I was just trying to position myself as a member who would make conversation, not lurk and it was a way of introducing myself.

I really didnt think to sift thru years of old posts to see if my topic had been discussed. There are "ways" to answer questions, and the way mine was answered, just came off RUDE to me. As well, my understanding of a moderator is that he remains "neutral", however I suspect you see your role differently as you clearly decided to take sides and tell me off. Nonetheless I will respsect YOUR position here and refrain from offering my opinion. thank you for your input and advice.

[jjkrkwood]

I respectfully disagree with you here, deej. The original poster faced the same curt replies on his thread asking for clients' opinions. They said their piece then. I didn't see the need for them (as non-escorts, mind you) to come on the escorts' thread, where the original poster sought escorts' opinions, and tell him to research old threads. Further, what difference should it make if the topic's been discussed before? If one is seeking new and/or current impressions, then I don't see why he shouldn't ask again. Plus the "do the research" meme assumes that one is familiar with the internal "subculture" or norms of forums like this. As a newbie, one likely would not be so familiar to know that many posters react harshly to people asking questions the seasoned veterans feel have been discussed to death. If someone is tired of a particular topic, he can easily ignore it and comment on other supposedly "original" threads. Of course, as Sherlock Holmes said, "it's all been done before" so good luck finding a thread with a topic that hasn't been discussed in all the time people have been commenting.

 

To answer the OP's question, I do not tip because I feel that escorts are not in the same category as most service providers who are paid relatively meagerly and need tips to make ends meet. Plus, I have to really save up to treat myself to time w/an escort, so the tip is a significant amount of $ to me. I'd rather put it towards building up my next escort fund or have it go towards a multi-hr appt to really treat myself. Just my 2 cents

 

Strafe, THANK YOU. If I ever run for politics, I want you on my team. And as for your reply to my original question, I TOTALLY agree with you.

[uwsman2]

If there's ever been an inexhaustible topic that deserves getting exhumed from time to time, it's tipping. Whether to tip and how much to tip is probably the cause of quite a bit of anxiety, among both experienced clients and newbies. I would not fault anybody for raising the topic anew if it hasn't been discussed in a while. Attitudes change, practices change, the economy is in a different place from the last time it was discussed here, and there are some new escorts on the board whose opinions would be worth hearing, as well as hearing whether some of the established guys have "evolved" in their views.

 

I've been hiring escorts for about 30 years or so. I usually tip unless the experience is mediocre or worse. My attitude is that while it is true that these guys are getting 200 or more an hour, which seems like a lot of dough to those of us who are salary guys rather than wealthy, they are getting it for giving us access to their bodies, admitting us to a very intimate sphere, perhaps even engaging in penetrative sex and fluid exchange, most of them are incurring substantial overhead expenses, and the good ones are not seeing large numbers of clients a day. Only the most psychologically stable and physically talented and fitness-dedicated among them can make this gig last a long time. So when it is viewed in perspective, these fees in the 200's strike me as more than reasonable. Hiring an escort is a luxury purchase. And a little extra to show appreciation is reasonable. If I decide to stretch my budget and hire somebody who charges more, I might not tip.

[Decatur Guy]

Just wanted to add my two cents here, tending to agree with UWSMAN. It didn't strike me as particularly rude when the reply to the original OP's question was something along the lines of: Look up old links.

 

It does strike me as an unintentional conversation killer, though. And that does strike me as counterintuitive to the main point of this forum.

 

People who have been at forum posts for a long time need to remember that people who are relatively new might want to contribute to "old conversations." I don't think there should be an "expiration date" ...

 

Well, we exhaustively covered tipping in 2003, 2004 and again in 2007. Sorry, you weren't here then, but what's left to ask or say? To me, that's sort of the implication when people post "archival references" to questions like the one we're discussing. It's certainly never occurred to me to do exhaustive archival checks before I posted questions on broad topics like this one.

 

Also, I actually find it a little odd when some post more than a few months old suddenly comes back. You see November 2009 and then next response in two hours ago. I'd rather just start a conversation anew myself. But just because some of you vets covered certain topics extensively xx number of years ago doesn't mean some of us new folks don't want to discuss it anew.

[Phil_musc]

Wait a minute here, guys. This question on this particularly forum is asked of escorts and thus far only one escort has responded (quite graciously too, IMHO). Most of the posters should weigh in on the Dell, not here, and certainly not with the terse and rude responses that the OP has received from some. . .

[jjkrkwood]

Hey Guys, I didnt mean to stir up any hornets nest by resurrecting an OLD question (which by the way I didnt know existed being a Newbie), but none-the-less I do greatly appreciate those who supported my position AND question, and value the input you have provided. Thanks - JJ

[+ deej]

Opinions are like hearts, everybody has one. As a very new member I was just trying to position myself as a member who would make conversation, not lurk and it was a way of introducing myself.

I really didnt think to sift thru years of old posts to see if my topic had been discussed. There are "ways" to answer questions, and the way mine was answered, just came off RUDE to me. As well, my understanding of a moderator is that he remains "neutral", however I suspect you see your role differently as you clearly decided to take sides and tell me off. Nonetheless I will respsect YOUR position here and refrain from offering my opinion. thank you for your input and advice.

 

Interesting choice of words. I haven't been listed as a moderator here for more than five years. I suspect you've been around a little longer than you claim. In any case, to clear up your other misconception there is absolutely no requirement that moderators remain neutral. It doesn't matter what preconception you may hold, the requirement does not exist.

[Guest Spanky]

Tipping is usually not expected; but very much appreciated if received for exceptional service.

 

 

Daddy - your post brought to mind the dangers of tipping:

 

http://trussellharris.com/images/cow-tipping.gif

[jjkrkwood]

Interesting choice of words. I haven't been listed as a moderator here for more than five years. I suspect you've been around a little longer than you claim. In any case, to clear up your other misconception there is absolutely no requirement that moderators remain neutral. It doesn't matter what preconception you may hold, the requirement does not exist.

 

Administrator/Moderator, tomato / tamato. Whatever your position here, it shouldnt be to alienate members, which your personality clearly DOES.... You are not expected to enjoy EVERY post that is made, but to show your distaste in such a vocal manner certainly says alot about the person that you are. I will be sure to stay out of your way. And my membership here shows my START DATE so to say you believe "I've been around awhile" is just another example of your abrasive nature. not sure why you chose to pick on me, but its not in good form and I'd apreciate you refrain...

[mansniffing]

Administrator/Moderator, tomato / tamato. Whatever your position here, it shouldnt be to alienate members, which your personality clearly DOES.... You are not expected to enjoy EVERY post that is made, but to show your distaste in such a vocal manner certainly says alot about the person that you are. I will be sure to stay out of your way. And my membership here shows my START DATE so to say you believe "I've been around awhile" is just another example of your abrasive nature. not sure why you chose to pick on me, but its not in good form and I'd apreciate you refrain...

 

Goodness. What is going on here?

Deej's comments were not personal. Just an opinion.

I love Spanky's illustration of the cow's tummy showing the milker and the tipping milk stool.

Daddy's comment is a keeper. "Tipping is usually not expected; but very much appreciated if received for exceptional service."

When all is said and done: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." . . . and "Different strokes for different folks."