Looking for inspiration

[Guest jstlooknthx]

Thought I would post in hopes of hearing a new perspective. A surprising idea, a simple turn of my head showing me a different view right in front of me. Some might remember my leaving my job the end of last year. Five months later I'm feeling pretty aimless and isolated. Never realized how job identified I was until I left. I worked so many hours over the years I let most my friendships drift. Making it uncomfortable to reach out again now that I feel like Debbie Downer. Just had my 57 birthday and I got to say being jobless, on umemployment, with no prospects made this birthday sting a little...a lot.

Now for the good news! Um....a...er....I still have my sense of humor?

[gcursor]

Dear Jstlookn:

I can identify with what you're going through. I won't elaborate to what extent on the board. I think I can speak for much of the forum when I say, "if you ever need anything or somebody to listen to then we're here." i'm sure that some forum members will probably think of the situation you're in now and give you some understanding and encouragement.

 

If you ever want to talk (although you don't know me yet), feel free to email me on the forum anytime, anywhere and I will do whatever I can to assist you during your time. However know this, no matter how alone you feel, you're never really alone...I may not be there in person but that doesn't mean that I don't care and won't think of you while I'm doing what I do everyday.

 

thanks for posting and do keep me (and the forum and the forum members) in mind,

 

warmest hugs,

David

aka Gcursor

[Guest greatness]

Happy birthday jstlooknthx. I hope you can use this opportunity to find something you really like to do and enjoy. It doesn't have to something big. We are your friends here and I'm glad that you didn't lose your sense of humor and you are in a good spirit. Everybody goes through hard times. I guess we just hope for the best and do our best. A big hug for you. You can contact me if you want to talk.

 

http://www.profilethai.com/wallpaper/original/profilethai_group%20hug%20with%20pooh%201024.jpg

[Diverdan]

As has already been said, Forum members are here for each other. I have gone through many major changes in my life and am now semi-retired. I know exactly what you are going through, and as so frequently happens, we become wedded to our jobs to the exclusion of some of our friends and family. Know, however, that 57 is still the prime of life, even though you don't feel that way. There are lots of opportunities out there, they just may not be in your chosen field, or the type of job you just left. As with the other guys here, please feel free to send me a PM, and we can email chat on a more private basis, and if you feel comfortable, I would be glad to chat with you on the phone too. There are lots of wonderful guys on the Forum... both clients and escorts... and most are more than willing to lend an ear, suggestions, etc.

 

Take heart, and with a sense of humor things will certainly get better.

 

DD

[+ Shoreboy]

jstlookin

 

I too was in a similar situation when I turned 50 and was forced out of my job....and a job I loved. At first I felt as if a "fog" had entered my life since my sense of purpose was lost....or so I thought.

 

I lost some friends who were really not friends to begin with and gained new ones who were authentic and became friends not because of what I did for a living, but because of who I am...therein lies a lot of truth.

 

I moped around for awhile until a good friend of mine sat me down and told me "there is no authentic growth without some pain". I didn't want to hear those words at that time, but came to understand thenm as sage wisdom.

 

We men are strange but windrous creatures as we identify who we are by what we do....rather than looking at the truth and that is a job is simply that...only a portion of what makes up our being.

 

You will find another job...but with all humility take this time to learn more about yourself, seek out some new loves, and become a better you!

 

Like the others who wrote before me....I am here if you need me.

[Guest jstlooknthx]

You are all very sweet

 

Thanks guys. I actually forgot I posted this. Just read your posts now. I am honestly touched by your responses. Seriously, thanks. Kind of stunned you are even inviting me to email or call since you don't really know if I'm freak or friend. Perhaps you're all braver than I am. I have always been more of a lurker here. I post now and then but mainly I just enjoy the diversity and sharing of different perspectives on life in general I witness on this site. Never been much of a joiner. Find it difficult to share my sorrows with the people in my life. The anonymity of this made it easier for me.

 

I worked in a busy, trendy, very young workplace. Growing old and showing weakness are not the most charismatic qualities where I live. I realize it's important for me now to reach out in some way. It's just not really in my personality type. I have no friends here my age. They are on the other side of the country. Thought of volunteering to occupy by time (and get me off the couch), but whenever I've attempted it in the past I've found it extremely depressing. Each day I think something will come to me, some idea or inspiration but I'm lucky if I ever make it to the gym.

 

Man could I use time with an affectionate escort right about now.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Justlooknthx -- Allow me to offer an ear if you need one as well. There really some absolutely amazing men on this forum. I've been here now just a bit over 8 months and have formed some of the most wondrous friendships of my life. Just one week ago today I was in Washington, meeting with Diverdan for breakfast and lunch. It was the first time we'd met, even though we'd been emailing and PMing for months. And it felt like I was with a friend I had known forever. I feel that way about a lot of the guys here. They are truly wonderful, caring, compassionate men. I've seen them pitch in when someone is in trouble and needs support, organizing with a network of friends here to help. And although reaching may not be in your nature, you not only must but you should. Because with this group of men, the number of hands to reach back out to you may astonish you.

 

Please take heart. Things will get better. At 57 you're certainly not old, because if you are I've only got a year until I get old. . And I've never felt more alive. I certainly feel younger now than 8 months ago than when I joined the forum. This is a very special little village we have here.

 

But you have the right idea, just not the right outlet. Volunteering is great if you can find something that you are interested in. Last week I was volunteering at our local gay community center to help at a concert that was attended exclusively by our lesbian sisters. Ever been the only guy in a room with 30 lesbians? It's strange. I'm more popular now with lesbians as a gay man than I ever was with straight women when I was perceived as straight. What's up with that? And by all means, exercise. Even if it's only taking a 30 minute walk around where you live, rather than going to the gym.

 

And your last sentence shows that you indeed do have a sense of humor. And that's a huge plus.

 

Hang in there and if you need any one of us, all you need do is ask. These men will give you the shirts off their back. Even when it's the pants off their legs you want

[nate_sf]

With that fantastic avatar like the one you have, how could we not love you?

 

A great number of people here on the forum, myself included, have suffered devastating losses at one time or another with their careers so you will find a lot of us can relate. This recession has been brutal, and lots of fantastic highly-qualified people have suffered through no fault of their own.

 

Beyond the advice others have given, I'd suggest going to the gym on a regular schedule and at approximately the same time each day. When I was having problems of my own I started going to the gym late morning nearly every day, and after a few weeks (or maybe it was months) I became familiar enough to people and them to me that people started to strike up conversations and I made some friends there. People often hold back in getting to know strangers, so it takes time to put yourself out there and start making new friends.

[+ purplekow]

Jstlooknthx Perhaps this is the opportunity to expand your self identification beyond what you did as a job. Ideally, your job should be something you love doing and which allows you to live a life of doing the things you want to do. The job or profession should not be an end but rather a means to an end. You are unemployed but that does not mean you should be idle. I would start with a simple question---What the fuck do I want to do with the rest of my life? We are encumbered in answering this only by our lack of insight and imagination. Dream big. Then, once you are satisfied with that answer, start making plans to make that dream a reality. One step each day in the direction of completing that dream, is a step closer to regaining the essence of a happy and productive life. Don't get me wrong, this is not easy. And at 57 you are as old as dirt, (I should know I remember being 57 and I was very old then, I am younger than that now.) The choice is yours, wallow in the mud or be happy as a pig in shit. I opt for the second. Take it from me, just because a kow is too old to give milk doesnt mean it doesnt like having its nipples fondled.

[gcursor]

Nice

 

Okay..that was a very nice post I'll admit

Gcursor

 

Jstlooknthx Perhaps this is the opportunity to expand your self identification beyond what you did as a job. Ideally, your job should be something you love doing and which allows you to live a life of doing the things you want to do. The job or profession should not be an end but rather a means to an end. You are unemployed but that does not mean you should be idle. I would start with a simple question---What the fuck do I want to do with the rest of my life? We are encumbered in answering this only by our lack of insight and imagination. Dream big. Then, once you are satisfied with that answer, start making plans to make that dream a reality. One step each day in the direction of completing that dream, is a step closer to regaining the essence of a happy and productive life. Don't get me wrong, this is not easy. And at 57 you are as old as dirt, (I should know I remember being 57 and I was very old then, I am younger than that now.) The choice is yours, wallow in the mud or be happy as a pig in shit. I opt for the second. Take it from me, just because a kow is too old to give milk doesnt mean it doesnt like having its nipples fondled.

[Guest jstlooknthx]

Yes that was a nice response, though for the record I can still be milked! I was wondering, does anybody actually make a living working from home? No, I'm not addressing the escorts on this one. I am definitely past my prime on that one. Just wondering how many jobs are done from home on line these days. Wondering if anyone has had personal experience on this.

[+ friendofsheila]

I have to admit, I'm not really clear what you are asking for in your original post. Do you want ideas about how to fill your time? How to find work? How to stop stop being depressed? Or something else?

[+ honcho]

Yes that was a nice response, though for the record I can still be milked! I was wondering, does anybody actually make a living working from home? No, I'm not addressing the escorts on this one. I am definitely past my prime on that one. Just wondering how many jobs are done from home on line these days. Wondering if anyone has had personal experience on this.

 

I have a friend who is writing technical documentation for cisco systems; he is hired as a contractor through a temp agency and works out of

his house with only very occasional trips between san francisco and sunnyvale.

 

Is that close enough to your idea of making a living working from home?

[Guest jstlooknthx]

Yes 'FofS' all of the above. My orginal post seems pretty clear to me. I'm lost. Well, though I really don't expect anybody to tell me how to stop being depressed. That's symptomatic of what I'm going through. I do need to find work. I do need to fill my time with things to get me out of the house. Perhaps my lack of clarity in my post is because I'm more depressed than I realize. I'm 57. No family or relationship. Own no property. I've kissed to previous careers good bye, and I'm using these current facts about myself at this point in my life to hit myself over the head with daily.

 

Okay, see. This is why I rarely communicate with people when I'm down. Who in all honestly wants to hear this shit??? I would pay anything to get out of my own head right now so I don't have to hear it! Why should I be dumping it on anybody else?

[Guest jstlooknthx]

Yes, honcho. Thanks

[leigh.bess.toad]

I would pay anything to get out of my own head right now so I don't have to hear it! Why should I be dumping it on anybody else?

 

Why? Because even if we haven't been in your exact situation, there are some of us who know too well the battle with depression and I for one want to try to support someone going through it. We all need to unload sometimes. Having someone who has been in that same hole can help.

 

You're not dumping on anyone else, at least with me. And I bet quite of few of the guys here feel the same way.

[+ purplekow]

jstlooknthx For me, life is a constant struggle to keep moving forward. Uphill climbs which seem insurmountable sap the strength from my legs and drain my spirit until I feel I can no longer move. But somehow, somewhere, so far at least, I have found the strength to put one foot in front of the other and I keep trudging onward. Every once and again, I look back at the road I have travelled and in retrospect, the uphill climbs gave rise to peaks of splendor and beauty and usually to a brief respite of flat and easily traversed terrain. Right now, I am traveling alone and that makes this particular uphill trek even more difficult. Earlier today, i found myself in tears of desperation, defeated, unable to move and ready to collapse. I felt the burdens I carry buckling my knees and bending my back to such an arch that I could only look down. Then, after a deep breath, a tightening of the eyes to help focus my concentration and a tensing of the muscles so intense as to have my body quiver with the effort, I took another step forward. My eyes raised just bit. My heart lightened for the second. The road ahead still looked dark and miserable. I took another breath and prayed for strength and guidance. That prayer was answered and I inched further ahead. I came to this location and off in the distance, i saw you struggling to move ahead. I urge you to find within you the courage to trek onward and the wisdom to find the right direction. Take that next unsteady lead laden step. The peak will be that much sooner conquered and the level easy terrain reached that much sooner. Onward. Your fellow travelers here want you to succeed.

 

.

[+ purplekow]

Write me privately if you want a hand and an ear and perhaps a shoulder. I would make other recommendations for legs, chest, ass and cock.

[leigh.bess.toad]

jstlooknthx For me, life is a constant struggle to keep moving forward. Uphill climbs which seem insurmountable sap the strength from my legs and drain my spirit until I feel I can no longer move. But somehow, somewhere, so far at least, I have found the strength to put one foot in front of the other and I keep trudging onward. Every once and again, I look back at the road I have travelled and in retrospect, the uphill climbs gave rise to peaks of splendor and beauty and usually to a brief respite of flat and easily traversed terrain. Right now, I am traveling alone and that makes this particular uphill trek even more difficult. Earlier today, i found myself in tears of desperation, defeated, unable to move and ready to collapse. I felt the burdens I carry buckling my knees and bending my back to such an arch that I could only look down. Then, after a deep breath, a tightening of the eyes to help focus my concentration and a tensing of the muscles so intense as to have my body quiver with the effort, I took another step forward. My eyes raised just bit. My heart lightened for the second. The road ahead still looked dark and miserable. I took another breath and prayed for strength and guidance. That prayer was answered and I inched further ahead. I came to this location and off in the distance, i saw you struggling to move ahead. I urge you to find within you the courage to trek onward and the wisdom to find the right direction. Take that next unsteady lead laden step. The peak will be that much sooner conquered and the level easy terrain reached that much sooner. Onward. Your fellow travelers here want you to succeed.

 

.

 

PK -- that was beautiful. We've all been there, haven't we? But you hang in there too.

 

Jstlooknthx -- I hope you see that if you reach out here, you aren't alone. Any number of us stand ready, willing and able to be with you to help.

 

And that's what really makes this place special to me. I came here looking and talking about male escorts and I end up with an amazing group of men who have taught me so much about so many other things as well.