Married guys cheating on their wives with gay escorts

[leigh.bess.toad]

Hey guys haven't we exhausted this topic? It seems to me that we have all said all we have to say regarding this matter and now are simply beginning to repeat ourselves. Time to move on and go out and have pizza.

 

If you're buying, I have a large pepperoni. Or sausage. I love a good sausage.

[Guest greatness]

I'm sorry that TBL is suspended. TBL I and many others here wish you well and hope you can find peace soon. Everybody goes through such a thing once in a while. Be strong and positive. There are many other opportunities in life and there are plenty of good people. I hope you can come back soon. A big consolation kiss and hugs for you~~~

 

http://www.alighthouse.com/betterpic.jpg

[Rick Munroe]

Everybody goes through such a thing once in a while.

 

Yes, everyone comes on an escort message board ranting about "loony liberals" who "watch MSNBC."

[+ glutes]

jimboiNOTbn & twinkboylover both timed-out, saner heads do prevail here...

[MsGuy]

Jimboi and Twinkboy both timed-out?? I got to pay closer attention!

 

So, what did I miss?

[Diverdan]

You didn't miss much....

[+ glutes]

You didn't miss much....

 

TBL off his meds, jimboiNOTbn getting pissy over politics & his 'favorite' escort...

[ChiTown]

Thanks Lee!

 

Lee, Thanks for speaking so eloquently on behalf of us married men.

 

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." Atticus Finch in To Kill A Mockingbird.

[Guest countryboywny]

Lee, Thanks for speaking so eloquently on behalf of us married men.

 

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." Atticus Finch in To Kill A Mockingbird.

 

Me too, Lee.. Thanks

[Guest verymarried]

I haven't read all this topic but it seems like some people just can't help but look for reasons to judge others. Some people think so little of themselves that they must put others down. Yeah I am not proud of what I do, but that doesn't mean I have to criticize others for what they do or that I have to defend what I do when criticized. We are what we are. When we stop putting down transgenders and bears and elderly and escorts and fem guys and guys who cheat, and all the others, maybe we can concentrate on spreading a little love for each other.

[leigh.bess.toad]

When we stop putting down transgenders and bears and elderly and escorts and fem guys and guys who cheat, and all the others, maybe we can concentrate on spreading a little love for each other.

 

Amen, verymarried.

 

And ChiTown and Countryboy, thank you for your kind words. That means a lot to me.

[Guest greatness]

I don't think you meant it that way but to clarify I don't think TBL put down gays, elders, bears and transgenders here at all. He is in pain. We don't want to be judged and should not judge but what is with this judgment against a guy who is in pain and struggling with his life? Why are we so sensitive about TBL's remarks that we should go this far? He is in pain. Please let's extend love and compassion to him. If we wait someone to do it first and we only love people we like, then the world will never change.

 

Let's not forget that there are consequences of our actions whether we intended or not. We can't deny that, I believe.

 

I haven't read all this topic but it seems like some people just can't help but look for reasons to judge others. Some people think so little of themselves that they must put others down. Yeah I am not proud of what I do, but that doesn't mean I have to criticize others for what they do or that I have to defend what I do when criticized. We are what we are. When we stop putting down transgenders and bears and elderly and escorts and fem guys and guys who cheat, and all the others, maybe we can concentrate on spreading a little love for each other.

[MsGuy]

what is with this judgment against a guy who is in pain and struggling with his life? Why are we so sensitive about TBL's remarks that we should go this far? He is in pain. Please let's extend love and compassion to him.

 

You have put it in words far better than I ever could have. And, for what it's worth, I'm pretty sure it was your numerous gentle posts on this tread that deterred me from piling on also.

 

Like I told Lucky a long time ago, your presence here has been a blessing to us all in defusing the free floating anger on this board. It's awfully hard to keep a mad going when someone is taking the time to tell you how wonderful you are.

[NYTomcat]

I don't think you meant it that way but to clarify I don't think TBL put down gays, elders, bears and transgenders here at all. He is in pain. We don't want to be judged and should not judge but what is with this judgment against a guy who is in pain and struggling with his life? Why are we so sensitive about TBL's remarks that we should go this far? He is in pain. Please let's extend love and compassion to him. If we wait someone to do it first and we only love people we like, then the world will never change.

 

Let's not forget that there are consequences of our actions whether we intended or not. We can't deny that, I believe.

 

Ms Guy is correct G in that you have a wonderful effect but you.must also understand. I tried very hard not to attack him personally until he took it there. However. I know dozens of married men on this forum who every day berate themselves for who they are ... what choices they make..

They don't need anyone else here doing it for them... tbl could not see the pain that he was causing in many many men here who often are too busy berating themselves to ever consider standing up. I cannot tell you how many times I and others have had to talk married men from the proverbial ledge over threads like this one... what I would like to say though is this. In my tenure here we have seen at least 6-8 of these threads. There is a clear pattern of greater understanding and acceptance of the married men and there conundrums by the gay and out members of this site than I have ever witnessed before. Truly you gentleman are just that. As a whole... understanding and accepting of our individual strengths weaknesses and flaws. If nothing else ... this thread made me truly proud of the members of this community ... and I realty want to say thank you for myself and so many others .. you guys are the best...

[Guest greatness]

I agree with you Tom and I'm not saying you are wrong. You are a wonderful person and you have many friends here who support you. I just want TBL to know that people here wish him well and wants him back too. If he sees that a total stranger like me is trying so hard to show him love and compassion then it may help him realize that there are others who love and care about him in his life. I also want him to know that in his darkest moment that someone is out there willing to listen to him and comfort him. Being gay is not so easy and it doesn't get easy as we get old. Let's show compassion and love to people around us.

 

Ms Guy is correct G in that you have a wonderful effect but you.must also understand. I tried very hard not to attack him personally until he took it there. However. I know dozens of married men on this forum who every day berate themselves for who they are ... what choices they make..

They don't need anyone else here doing it for them... tbl could not see the pain that he was causing in many many men here who often are too busy berating themselves to ever consider standing up. I cannot tell you how many times I and others have had to talk married men from the proverbial ledge over threads like this one... what I would like to say though is this. In my tenure here we have seen at least 6-8 of these threads. There is a clear pattern of greater understanding and acceptance of the married men and there conundrums by the gay and out members of this site than I have ever witnessed before. Truly you gentleman are just that. As a whole... understanding and accepting of our individual strengths weaknesses and flaws. If nothing else ... this thread made me truly proud of the members of this community ... and I realty want to say thank you for myself and so many others .. you guys are the best...

[NYTomcat]

I agree with you Tom and I'm not saying you are wrong. You are a wonderful person and you have many friends here who support you. I just want TBL to know that people here wish him well and wants him back too. If he sees that a total stranger like me is trying so hard to show him love and compassion then it may help him realize that there are others who love and care about him in his life. I also want him to know that in his darkest moment that someone is out there willing to listen to him and comfort him. Being gay is not so easy and it doesn't get easy as we get old. Let's show compassion and love to people around us.

 

I cannot but agree with you wholeheartedly in that sentiment G. And I hope tbl sees that as well. I wish him nothing but that he feels the comfort to be himself here on this forum. ( as crazy and wild or conservative as he feels is his calling) and that he allows others to express their experience without judgement and ridicule. We all get enough of that in our lives and the world. A good hooville bitch fight is one thing and to be applauded for us having strong opinions. But when that is directed to denegrate one member or one class of members to the forum. ... well I find that problematic.

 

So fight on but lets respect the individual players. Something I think you always try to do G. I truly do hope tbl feels comfortable to return and if he is still in pain from a heartache that the same lessens with time.

[johnnyboy]

What i missed in this thread so far was the fact that there are also bisexual people. Most of them are in a relation but need the opposite sex from time to time. I believe there is no problem with that. My partner knows that I'm bisexual. We agreed that I can have sex with a man. But I never tell when it happens. On the other hand my partner can make sexual fantasies come true with another person which I can't fullfill. Our relation is based on love and that's more than just sex. Our outdoor activities are just focused on sex. Most of the gay people and certainly escorts must recognize and understand this way of life.

[leigh.bess.toad]

G -- you know I love you. And I think I've always tried to be calm and understated and accepting of everyone. I do wish tbl would find a way to move through the kubler-ross steps instead of being stuck at step 2. but as with tc, it was when he started attacking and denigrating so many of the posters here that my hackles went up. my thoughts immediately went to several of my friends here and I was worried how they would internalize his attacks and beat themselves up even more. I really feel his therapist is doing him no good at all -- a complete hack job if you ask me. If almost 2 years after the betrayal he hasn't moved any further along with that, then the therapist is doing a shitty job and he needs to find someone else who can help him move on beyond where he's at. That is who has my biggest enmity. I've been hurt before by different people before but I don't strike out against anyone similar to that person.

 

i am always very much a kum ba yah sort of guy. i want everyone to get along and be comfortable with themselves. disagree and fight all we want. but when you start calling other forum members "scum of the earth" and "scumbags" is when I draw the line. when most people fight here I will tend to stay out of it. As we say in my office "we don't have victims. just volunteers". but attack my friends, attack people who are already having issues coping with who and what they are at their very nature and I take offense. And when I hear such bromides as "hate the sin, love the sinner" when I know, I KNOW, that is a myth which has NEVER happened in the history of mankind I get bent out of shape. at least with fred phelps you know he hates both and is honest about it.

 

I am always, ALWAYS, for hope, forgiveness, redemption. No one is beyond healing. And I hope with all my heart that tbl can at some point come to know some peace. But I am a firm believer in Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' 5 steps of grief. And only once you get to step 5, acceptance, can you truly find peace.

[seaboy4hire]

TBL, first quit hittin the bottle. Second find a new shrink. Third, dude let it go! This cheating thing happened two yrs ago! If I didn't just let go of all the mean things people did to me I would never be able to move forward with my life and finally be in a happy place, even with the nearly four feet of snow.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[CowboyUp]

TBL,,,dude let it go! This cheating thing happened two yrs ago! If I didn't just let go of all the mean things people did to me I would never be able to move forward with my life and finally be in a happy place..

 

"Dude, Let It Go" is terrific advice for so many trials of life. Well said Greg!

[Leap Year]

Why is this thread still open? How is it fair that when TBL was suspended that everyone else gets to continue professing their side of the argument on this thread but TBL doesn't get the opportunity to counter? I am not criticizing the decision to suspend TBL. I assume that that action was taken because the "powers that be" wanted to avoid damage to the message board by letting the "discussion" get personal and out of hand. So suspend the offender, but it would be more effective to also close ANY further discussion on the topic. TBL wasn't the only participant here. Without two sides, there can be no argument. By leaving the topic open, the opposite side got to get in the "last punch" and then twist the conversation to a "pity party" for poor hurting TBL. Unfair, totally unfair.

 

I have seen this on other threads too. Someone gets out of line, but rather than nipping the whole argument in the bud, one side is chopped off. I think it is more effective and fairer to go ahead and suspend, but also close the thread and totally stop the argument. If I were a suspended party sitting at home reading a continuing thread after I was suspended, I would be fuming that others are allowed to continue to berate me, mis-interpret and mis-represent me while I have no ability to correct or counter. Suspension is supposed to be a "cooling off" period. I know I would not be cooling off right now if I were TBL. I might be if nothing further was said on this topic, but not with it continuing without me.

 

Please, moderators, in the future, consider closing threads along with suspensions. It's the fairer thing to do.

[Guest DuchessIvanaKizznhugg]

Please, moderators, in the future, consider closing threads along with suspensions. It's the fairer thing to do.

 

I repectfully disagree.

Closing the entire thread because of the poor behaviour of one participant rewards the poor behaviour. Any time anyone wished to close down a thread, they need only behave as poorly as tbl did, and everyone else is no longer able to contribute and learn from the experiences of others.

Tbl should have learned by now that inappropriate behaviour has consequences, both here and in our bigger non-digital world, and he owes an apology for his offensive style.

 

Perhaps one day he will realize that he can be the master of his thoughts, and that those thoughts can bring him peace or discomfort. The choice is his alone.

[Guest TBinCHI]

I agree with the Duchess. Furthermore, I don't think anyone misrepresented or misinterpreted what TBL said. He did a pretty damn good job of going up in flames all on his own. Whether he acted out of pain as Greatness believes or spite or whatever is known only to him, but only he can control what he says (at least while he has access to the forum!). He could have contributed in a positive way to engender a civil discussion of a worthwhile issue. Instead his invective got the better of him and he got banned.

 

As to the actual topic here, all I will add is an echo of the wise men who have lived long enough and been through enough to have learned that it is not our place to judge the actions of others when those actions do not directly impact our lives. I may not agree with what you do or believe, but I will not judge you for it unless you act in such a way to hurt me or those I love.

[josephga]

I don't think he should have been suspended people have said far worse to each other on here without any type of time out.

[jgoo]

I am very interested in the issue about judging others, their actions and/or attitudes that has been brought up here. Don't we, as a matter of our daily lives, constantly make judgements about others? Doesn't that help us decide who we want to do business with, associate with as friends, date, marry, etc? Doesn't it allow us to live a certain level of moral standards in our lives as to what we find acceptable? Those that we judge may or may not directly impact our lives as well. It seems to me that we make judgements on the actions of murderers and bigots. We use our own moral compass to make those judgements and certainly those values may differ from individual to individual but it does not diminish the fact that they exist and are useful. Beyond the way in which TBL went about it, was his judgement any more or less valid than what others may have in regards to their own belief system? Or was it that he publicly stated it?