Married guys cheating on their wives with gay escorts

[NYTomcat]

I am one of the guys that TBL writes about. While it hurts to read his post, he is right. I am not proud of what I am doing, I am a child of the 70's and it is very, very difficult to balance the needs of my family with my own. Some may call me selfish, deceitful.. of poor moral character and I would have to agree. It is a constant internal conflict that I have to deal with. Sometimes the guilt is too much to bear, but I go on. Do I wish I could come out, be who I am? Yes, I do. But my concern for the welfare of my family is above all else for me. I'm in a bit of a different situation, my family has issues not related to me, and need my love and support more than most. I am not using this as an excuse for my behavior, only to point out that we all have our reasons for doing what we do and I regret being judged that way. However, it's a fair judgment for an unfair situation. I have always been open and honest in dealings with my gay friends, my sexual partners and everyone that I felt should know about me. In return for my honesty, I have been lucky to receive nothing but understanding, support and a genuine sense of belonging from these people. On the other hand, I am lying to my family who matter most to me. I don't know what else to say, other than I'm doing the best I can do for everyone close to me and hope that those that sit in judgment of me will have the compassion to walk a mile in my shoes.

Well country. You and me can party in hell with rick. Trust me. I know the battle you face everyday. And I know the self recrimination. And I firmly believe tbl does not understand the need to care for family and the love you have for them. And the difference between love and sex you have to face everyday of your life. Do not let him paint you with the same colors as what others describe as just a horny Guy out to fuck anything that walks.

[Guest countryboywny]

Well country. You and me can party in hell with rick. Trust me. I know the battle you face everyday. And I know the self recrimination. And I firmly believe tbl does not understand the need to care for family and the love you have for them. And the difference between love and sex you have to face everyday of your life. Do not let him paint you with the same colors as what others describe as just a horny Guy out to fuck anything that walks.

 

Thank you, Tom.

[ChiTown]

I am one of the guys that TBL writes about. While it hurts to read his post, he is right. I am not proud of what I am doing, I am a child of the 70's and it is very, very difficult to balance the needs of my family with my own. Some may call me selfish, deceitful.. of poor moral character and I would have to agree. It is a constant internal conflict that I have to deal with. Sometimes the guilt is too much to bear, but I go on. Do I wish I could come out, be who I am? Yes, I do. But my concern for the welfare of my family is above all else for me. I'm in a bit of a different situation, my family has issues not related to me, and need my love and support more than most. I am not using this as an excuse for my behavior, only to point out that we all have our reasons for doing what we do and I regret being judged that way. However, it's a fair judgment for an unfair situation. I have always been open and honest in dealings with my gay friends, my sexual partners and everyone that I felt should know about me. In return for my honesty, I have been lucky to receive nothing but understanding, support and a genuine sense of belonging from these people. On the other hand, I am lying to my family who matter most to me. I don't know what else to say, other than I'm doing the best I can do for everyone close to me and hope that those that sit in judgment of me will have the compassion to walk a mile in my shoes.

 

Thanks for saying it, countryboy. That pretty much sums up how I feel.

[twinkboylover28]

Well there are the true colors tbl.

 

Yes I got married because I was raped by three guys and was scared into going straight. Your references comparing cheaters to rapist and your attempts to try and make me worry about dying alone are not lost on anyone. Sorry you feel the need to try cheap parlor tricks to win an argument. It just shows that even after being the victim of violent crime I have found the love and support to heal. And that you have obviously never been able to emotionally get over your bf choosing to step out on you.

 

Though I really would love to fire back right now what's the point. Your lonely constant worry your friends will abandon you and you will never be able to keep a man attitude say it all. I hope you find happiness someday perhaps someone traveling that same narrow path your on. Good luck. You'll need it

 

You certainly sound like a very vicious, nasty cheating person. It doesnt surprise me your vitriol. I was assaulted and sent to the ER with a dislocated shoulder, facial lacerations, broken nasal spine, etc etc etc. It didnt make me marry someone. You need to start taking responsibilty for YOUR actions and YOUR behavior, which quite frankly sounds more-and-more like bipolar disorder. My valid points are not cheap parlor tricks. I'm very sorry if my knockout blows i nthis argument have obviously hit a raw nerve with you, but thats because what i said is TRUE...as evidenced by Countryboywny.

 

Your posts clearly indicate it's all about you. Kinda selfish, dont you think? What about your innocent wife? And ofcourse I havent gotten over my boyfriend cheating on me. Im not a cheating pig who "moves on" from one guy to the next. I can certainly detect your GLEE in the fact that i havent gotten over being betrayed and cheated on. You cheaters rejoice and thrive on the hurt and misery you cause others. It gives you a sick sense of power, eh? Congrats!

 

I'm proud of the fact that I can look myself in the mirror every morning, and sleep soundly at night in the knowledge that I haven hurt the one i vowed to love. If you broek your own vows, then your word means nothing. Am I wrong? Cheaters philosophy is "just get over it...MOVE ON." Cheatears would just love that if life was that easy, but unlike a cheater, our love was REAL.

 

"You got raped? Just get over it and move-on." Yet a cheater rejoices in the fact that their victim still suffers from their betrayal. In all honesty, you cant fire back because you havent a leg to stand on in your argument. How in the world can you judge me as "lonely" because i think cheating is wrong and therefor cheaters are scum?

 

Newsflash...A cheater is the true lonely soul.

I have no worries my friends will abandon me, because unlike a cheater who surrounds himself with like-minded cheaters , my friends are real friends... not you fair-weather escorts-for-hire or "non-judgmnental" loons who stand for nothing.

 

A true friend , well, tells you the TRUTH! And as much as you dont want to hear it, cheating is wrong! Dont you get that?

 

And just because someone cheated on me, you somehow think i worry about not being able to keep a man? Honey, i would rather be single than date a cheater like you any day of the week! I have no worries about keeping the right man.

How very kind of you to care about my happiness. It's so very touching; however, you are the one and the narrow path. A cheaters path is the narrowest and lonliest of all. A cheater never knows what is real, and a cheater doesnt know who to trust because he feels everyone is a lying, cheating scum just like himself.....who makes excuses for everything without taking any responsibilty for HIS actions.

 

I travel the path of integrity and honesty, which always leads to happiness in the long run.

[ChiTown]

I always try to abide by two old adages that my dad taught me.

 

1. "Don't bring yourself down to the other guy's level."

2. "Don't get into a pissin' contest with a skunk."

 

Have a good one!

[twinkboylover28]

And I firmly believe tbl does not understand the need to care for family and the love you have for them.

 

Nothing says I LOVE YOU like fucking gay male prostitues. Happy Valentines Day honey!

[twinkboylover28]

Thanks for saying it, countryboy. That pretty much sums up how I feel.

 

Countryboy and ChiTown..thank you for your honesty and sharing on this subject.

I think it's important to note that I hate the sin, not the sinner...but especially I hate hurting innocent people, especially when you vowed and took a committment to love them.

Just my self-righteous judgmental self.

 

Only on a gay, male escort message board do people so passionately defend the virtues of cheating on your wife, and banging other guys behind her back.

 

God bless America.

[Epigonos]

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all agree on a definitive definition of LOVE? Is my love of my dog the same as someone’s love of his wife? Is someone’s love of his wife the same as his love of his children? Does love change over time? How do love and passion differ? Can a man and woman love each other and not have a sexual relationship? Who elected any of us to determine the answers of these questions for ANYBODY but OURSELVES?

 

All too often we allow others to make us happy or miserable. In the end only we can make ourselves happy or miserable. Twinkboylover28 you got f---ed over by former lover/partner. For how long are you going to allow the SOB to make you miserably unhappy? At a certain point the fault for your misery ceases to be that of your former lover/partner and becomes YOURS. You continue to allow that person to control, what appears to be, a major portion of your life. Isn’t it time to close the book on that part of your life and move on?

As I see it much of what you have stated on this thread smacks of bitter martyrdom. For your sake climb down off your cross and get on with life.

[twinkboylover28]

I always try to abide by two old adages that my dad taught me.

 

1. "Don't bring yourself down to the other guy's level."

2. "Don't get into a pissin' contest with a skunk."

 

Have a good one!

 

I can certainly understand the truth hurts, but those statements flow both ways. And by the way, my personal favorite is: " never get into an argument with a pig. You both will get dirty, and the pig will enjoy it."

 

God bless.

[twinkboylover28]

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all agree on a definitive definition of LOVE? Is my love of my dog the same as someone’s love of his wife? Is someone’s love of his wife the same as his love of his children? Does love change over time? How do love and passion differ? Can a man and woman love each other and not have a sexual relationship? Who elected any of us to determine the answers of these questions for ANYBODY but OURSELVES?

 

All too often we allow others to make us happy or miserable. In the end only we can make ourselves happy or miserable. Twinkboylover28 you got f---ed over by former lover/partner. For how long are you going to allow the SOB to make you miserably unhappy? At a certain point the fault for your misery ceases to be that of your former lover/partner and becomes YOURS. You continue to allow that person to control, what appears to be, a major portion of your life. Isn’t it time to close the book on that part of your life and move on?

As I see it much of what you have stated on this thread smacks of bitter martyrdom. For your sake climb down off your cross and get on with life.

 

Here we go again with the looney crazy far-left talk where everything and anything goes. That big open-minded, gray area, with a broad path where everyone is non-judgmental and can do no wrong.

 

Why dont we agree on the definition of CHEATING. Where if a man vows and promises to be committed to his wife ,then he should not fuck other people. it's pretty simple really.

 

You sound like Bill Clinton and "it depends on what the definition of IS is."

 

Give me a break.

 

Oh yeah, and its MY FAULT that i got cheated on and didnt "Get over it"?

 

You sound like a true loon who likely embraces open "relationships" and watches MSNBC.

Why dont you agree that cheating is wrong and you shouldnt get into a relationship of any ind if you're going to cheat? Instead of sounding so casual about it, like it's the equivalent of picking your nose or taking a daily dump.

 

And again, the classic liberal tactic of calling someone a martyr or racist.

When you're obviously losing the argument, just throw out name calling and chatracter assassination. Very clever!

[Bart]

I have a few questions, do you hire escorts or not? If not why are you here bothering us who do. If you do, unless you live outside the US or Vegas you are performing an illegal act. Two, how do you know the escort you are hiring is not in a relationship or is that one of the questions you ask the escort. Although you may have a fair question in why do married gentlemen hire gay escorts although I dont know what the difference is between gay escorts and any other sexual relationship outside the so-called Monogamous relationship one is in.

I am not fond of people spouting morality here, "I travel the path of integrity and honesty, which always leads to happiness in the long run." I dont know that there is integrity in hiring an escort, it is an illegal act period, end of story. So to be honest time to move on. I can assure I have never been asked by an escort before hiring him am I married or not, am I gay or not, what religion I am, what seems important is am I a top or bottom and how much will I pay. I think that is all that counts here in this Daddy's World.

[Epigonos]

Just to set the record straight twinkboylover28 I happen to be a Barry Goldwater Republican. In fact I am actually a right wing heartless fiscal conservative and a social libertarian. I also firmly believe that NOBODY elected me "god". It must be very reassuring to know, as you obviously do, that you have all the right answers to all life’s questions.

[+ deej]

Oh yeah, and its MY FAULT that i got cheated on and didnt "Get over it"?

 

It is certainly not your fault that you were cheated on. Getting over it, though, is entirely under your control (or not, as the case may be).

 

You sound like a true loon who likely embraces open "relationships" and watches MSNBC.

Why dont you agree that cheating is wrong and you shouldnt get into a relationship of any ind if you're going to cheat? Instead of sounding so casual about it, like it's the equivalent of picking your nose or taking a daily dump.

 

And again, the classic liberal tactic of calling someone a martyr or racist.

When you're obviously losing the argument, just throw out name calling and chatracter assassination. Very clever!

 

If you want to bring liberal politics into the discussion, take it to the proper forum. Irrational ranting like this does not belong here.

[twinkboylover28]

I have a few questions, do you hire escorts or not? If not why are you here bothering us who do. If you do, unless you live outside the US or Vegas you are performing an illegal act. Two, how do you know the escort you are hiring is not in a relationship or is that one of the questions you ask the escort. Although you may have a fair question in why do married gentlemen hire gay escorts although I dont know what the difference is between gay escorts and any other sexual relationship outside the so-called Monogamous relationship one is in.

I am not fond of people spouting morality here, "I travel the path of integrity and honesty, which always leads to happiness in the long run." I dont know that there is integrity in hiring an escort, it is an illegal act period, end of story. So to be honest time to move on. I can assure I have never been asked by an escort before hiring him am I married or not, am I gay or not, what religion I am, what seems important is am I a top or bottom and how much will I pay. I think that is all that counts here in this Daddy's World.

 

First of all, did you forget to take your meds this morning. You need to compose a solid question instead of rambling all over the place. Do I hire escorts? What the hell does that have to do with cheating? A simple glance at my user name, which indicates how long Ive been an official memebr will answer that question.

 

Why am I "bothering" you? Not everyone is bothered, however, some find my coments refreshing. God forbid someone has morality. And Im not speaking from my perch. I would like to see a concensus that cheating is horribly wrong.

 

And you need to wise up! Hiring escorts is perfectly legal. It's time-for-companionship. Ever hear of men4rentnow and rentboy? Have you been living under a rock ? Your analogy between hiring gay escorts and married men who cheat is ABSOLUTELY absurd.

 

There is nothing dishonest or lacking in itegrity in hiring an escort if you're single person. I could care less if you're fond of my analysis or not. To be honest, it's time for YOU to "move on" and start accepting other peopels perspectives. Why dont you agree that cheating is horrible. Can you do that for me?

 

I've been asked ALL those questrions and more by escorts. I can assure you that.

 

And I'm sorry hun , but not all gay men who visit this lovely website are promsicuous pigs in Daddys world who just want a good shag with a to p or bottom. Get a clue.

[instudiocity]

So you guys are going to defend and rationalize cheating on your wife becasue the straight people do it too? Two wrongs don't make a right. I don't know about you, but when my boyfriend cheated/abandoend me for someone else, it was the end of my world. Having someone you love betray and lie to you behind your back is one of the worst pains I've ever endured. It almost rivaled the pain experienced with the passing of my father. And as far as STD's are concerned, all you have to do is research the CDC websites where it clearly indicates there is roughly ten times a higher prevalence of STD's per homosexuals vs straights. Ask any doctor. I guess I'm in the minority that still beleive cheating men are heartless, selfish pigs. And if you're one of those people who believe men aren't meant to be with just one partner, then don't get married. That's a cop out.

 

This is the difference between Sociology and Psychology. Your first question was sociologically centered. Your denunciation here is psychologically centered. Your anger and emotional responses to your cheating boyfriend has nothing to do with the sociological status of men who for whatever reason do not remain monogamous.

 

Your judgmental attitude, while a natural response to your personal situation, is not very accepting of the reality of the sociological state of philandering...

[NYTomcat]

http://hiphoprepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/trolls33.jpg

 

Its pizza time as deej so often points out

 

Im makingg homemade gorganzola tonight

[twinkboylover28]

Just to set the record straight twinkboylover28 I happen to be a Barry Goldwater Republican. In fact I am actually a right wing heartless fiscal conservative and a social libertarian. I also firmly believe that NOBODY elected me "god". It must be very reassuring to know, as you obviously do, that you have all the right answers to all life’s questions.

 

A social libertarian is most definetely a flaming liberal my friend. The fiscal conservative is a mute point really.

[twinkboylover28]

It is certainly not your fault that you were cheated on. Getting over it, though, is entirely under your control (or not, as the case may be).

 

 

 

If you want to bring liberal politics into the discussion, take it to the proper forum. Irrational ranting like this does not belong here.

 

Irrational because I think cheating is wrong. And you think I act like God?

[twinkboylover28]

This is the difference between Sociology and Psychology. Your first question was sociologically centered. Your denunciation here is psychologically centered. Your anger and emotional responses to your cheating boyfriend has nothing to do with the sociological status of men who for whatever reason do not remain monogamous.

 

Your judgmental attitude, while a natural response to your personal situation, is not very accepting of the reality of the sociological state of philandering...

 

Thank you for you FAIR statement. It's amazingly refreshing.

 

Now, to the real question, do you think it's wrong for a married man to cheat on his wife with gay escorts? Yes or no?

[+ sf westcoaster]

twinkboylover needs a timeout!!!!

[Guest greatness]

Thanks. There is nothing wrong for you to be angry and depressed. I hope time will lift your spirit up and you meet someone wonderful. Bad things can happen to anybody but please do not let it discourage you. Please use it as an opportunity to bring greater happiness in your life. Thank you for sharing your life story here. We are here to listen to you. A big consolation kiss and hugs~~~

 

Greatness...i love your signature quote.

[Guest greatness]

Oh my Tom, I want to see you in heaven if I make it there. Why are you being so negative! Let's hope for the best. Hugs~~~

 

Lmao. Omg Rick you are just the most irreverent asshole. I love it don't ever change and I will happily share an eternity in hell with you. Hahahaha.

[instudiocity]

Thank you for you FAIR statement. It's amazingly refreshing.

 

Now, to the real question, do you think it's wrong for a married man to cheat on his wife with gay escorts? Yes or no?

 

Yes, my MORAL position, is that if someone has made a promise to another person to remain sexually exclusive that first person should indeed fulfill their promise. My understanding of marriage is a deeper, more spiritual commitment where the two become one - spiritually, emotionally, financially, geographically and sexually. If you've become 'one' then you will not want to undo what you've done by even looking upon another person with the intent of breaking the bonds.

 

But that doesn't mean that I live in Pleasantville where flawed man does not exist. I live in reality, where anyone, at anytime, can make a different, albeit mistaken, decision to violate their promises.

[Diverdan]

It is obvious that most posters to this thread will not be swayed by any "opinions" of any other posters. Some folks have staked out a claim to be above a certain sin, i.e. "cheating" and as I said in my earlier post, it is not for me to judge whether someone has committed one sin or another. I do know individuals who have cheated on their wives and husbands who have changed and no longer "cheat". I also am aware of an individual who raped someone has not done so again. I simply choose not to judge or condem anyone, as my understanding of my christian faith is that judgement is left to God, and not us. I do hope that TWL will someday find someone who he can love and be loved unconditionally in return. I am not sure from what he has said that his therapist is helping him move on, which he needs to do, but again, I am not in a position to judge the therapist either. So, I go back to my first post, "He who is without sin, may cast the first stone" This is my last post to this thread, as it has already gone on far to long.

[NYTomcat]

Not at all negative G. Very comfortable with my life and my choices. They are mine to make right or wrong. But I know enough of my fellow "sinners" here to know that ill happily spend eternity with that group rather than with the self proclaimed angels in judgement of others.