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Posted
Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered, "Who ties your shoelaces for you??"

All the time. I like how Lex Luthor put it, in the 1978 Superman, about his assistance Otis: "It's amazing that brain generates enough electricity to make those legs move."

Posted

I used to date a guy named Bill who

was a twin. People always asked me

how I could tell them apart.

 

It was easy. Bill had a (nice big) cock

and Jill painted her nails purple!

 

TruHart1 :cool:

Posted

Better than Bill having a purple cock and Jill having Nice Big Nails.

 

I used to date a guy named Bill who

was a twin. People always asked me

how I could tell them apart.

 

It was easy. Bill had a (nice big) cock

and Jill painted her nails purple!

 

TruHart1 :cool:

Posted

Not funny in the 'joke' sense, but I had a good laugh at this, in a tweet:

 

We offer a free car ventilation service. All you have to do, is leave a dog locked in a hot car, we do the rest.

 

DhBrr5WWAAEGl7n.jpg:large

 

It was tweeted by the Metropolitan Police in Camden [in London].

Posted

What's the use of worrying??

 

You're either going to live or die.

If you live, there is no use to worry.

If you die, you will either go to Heaven or Hell.

If you go to Heaven, there's nothing to worry about.

If you go to Hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends you won't have time to worry!

Posted
Dh37YbVV4AAiT8k.jpg

Lol!

 

Magnitude of god’s miracles:

 

13,000,000,000 BC creates the entire universe, 100 billion galaxies, each with 100 billion solar systems.

4000 BC floods the entire world

1480 BC changes the Nile into blood, splits in half the Red Sea

30 AD walks on water, raises some dead people

1600 AD cures some siphilis

1917 AD sends his mom to appear to children in Fatima

2017 AD appears on a toast.

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