AdamSmith Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bayman4Fun Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 (edited) This just happened, 3 minutes ago. It's just one of those absurd life experiences that cracked me up. Ya probably had to be there, but I'll share anyway - my Friday Funny. I'm perusing these forums. Thinking about the obvious subject matters. My home landline phone rings, caller ID = Verizon. I answer. Computer-generated voice. "You have one message from call for dick service. Press one to listen." What? WTF?!? And on my landline, never used for anything remotely related? My mind races.... how the hell did this happen? I haven't contacted anyone in a day or two.... did i mistakenly give out my home #? Did my cell or email somehow reveal home info? I press 1. I need to listen twice to reach the Ah-hah moment. I'm doing a home repair project. Involves new electrical service. A trench is required, and being responsible, I initiated the check for buried utilities before you dig service. It wasn't a call for dick.... it was call before dig. Might not translate to print or in the telling, but it cracked me up Edited May 19, 2017 by Bayman4Fun + azdr0710, AdamSmith, sincitymix and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 http://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/w5hlgkt6xo4l9uc/File%20May%2019%2C%201%2025%2006%20PM.jpeg?dl=0 Gman AdamSmith, + honcho and + quoththeraven 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 This just happened, 3 minutes ago. It's just one of those absurd life experiences that cracked me up. Ya probably had to be there, but I'll share anyway - my Friday Funny. I'm perusing these forums. Thinking about the obvious subject matters. My home landline phone rings, caller ID = Verizon. I answer. Computer-generated voice. "You have one message from call for dick service. Press one to listen." What? WTF?!? And on my landline, never used for anything remotely related? My mind races.... how the hell did this happen? I haven't contacted anyone in a day or two.... did i mistakenly give out my home #? Did my cell or email somehow reveal home info? I press 1. I need to listen twice to reach the Ah-hah moment. I'm doing a home repair project. Involves new electrical service. A trench is required, and being responsible, I initiated the check for buried utilities before you dig service. It wasn't a call for dick.... it was call before dig. Might not translate to print or in the telling, but it cracked me up Gman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
instudiocity Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 It wasn't a call for dick.... it was call before dig. Might not translate to print or in the telling, but it cracked me up Reminds me of a Glen Campbell song, "Dick is always on my mind, Dick is always on my mind." AdamSmith 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 Reminds me of a Glen Campbell song, "Dick is always on my mind, Dick is always on my mind." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ azdr0710 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) We don't post depictions of minors. Edited June 6, 2017 by Guy Fawkes BabyBoomer and bigvalboy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigvalboy Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10154903319137562 Rod Hagen, AdamSmith and + azdr0710 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 http://images.memes.com/meme/558421 Gman + Oliver, + FreshFluff, bigvalboy and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Archer Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 http://images.memes.com/meme/558421 Gman Son of Michigan J. Frog perhaps? Or grandfather? AdamSmith 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 TruHart1, Rod Hagen, + Oliver and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Slater Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Yeah, bury those nuts. Heh huh heh huh huh. Kevin Slater TruHart1, + deej, AdamSmith and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ WmClarke Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 http://i1305.photobucket.com/albums/s545/WmClarke/IMG_2577_zpsk1ix1lwz.jpg beachboy, + HornyRetiree and + Oliver 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted May 28, 2017 Share Posted May 28, 2017 "If only bananas had natural, bio-degradable packaging of their own. Some sort of peelable skin, perhaps.." (Source) bigvalboy, + honcho, + sam.fitzpatrick and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 And only because one can never have too much of...! String Adrian Wapcaplet: Aah, come in, come in, Mr....Simpson. Aaah, welcome to Mousebat, Follicle, Goosecreature, Ampersand, Spong, Wapcaplet, Looseliver, Vendetta and Prang! Mr. Simpson: Thank you. Wapcaplet: Do sit down--my name's Wapcaplet, Adrian Wapcaplet... Mr. Simpson: how'd'y'do. Wapcaplet: Now, Mr. Simpson... Simpson, Simpson... French, is it? S: No. W: Aah. Now, I understand you want us to advertise your washing powder. S: String. W: String, washing powder, what's the difference. We can sell *anything*. S: Good. Well I have this large quantity of string, a hundred and twenty-two thousand *miles* of it to be exact, which I inherited, and I thought if I advertised it... W: Of course! A national campaign. Useful stuff, string, no trouble there. S: Ah, but there's a snag, you see. Due to bad planning, the hundred and twenty-two thousand miles is in three inch lengths. So it's not very useful. W: Well, that's our selling point! 'SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL STRINGETTES!' S: What? W: 'THE NOW STRING! READY CUT, EASY TO HANDLE, SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES - JUST THE RIGHT LENGTH!' S: For what? W: 'A MILLION HOUSEHOLD USES!' S: Such as? W: Uhmm...Tying up very small parcels, attatching notes to pigeons' legs, uh, destroying household pests... S: Destroying household pests?! How? W: Well, if they're bigger than a mouse, you can strangle them with it, and if they're smaller than, you flog them to death with it! S: Well *surely*!.... W: 'DESTROY NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF KNOWN HOUSEHOLD PESTS WITH PRE-SLICED, RUSTPROOF, EASY-TO-HANDLE, LOW CALORIE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES, FREE FROM ARTIFICIAL COLORING, AS USED IN HOSPITALS!' S: 'Ospitals!?!?!?!!? W: Have you ever in a Hospital where they didn't have string? S: No, but it's only *string*! W: ONLY STRING?! It's everything! It's...it's waterproof! S: No it isn't! W: All right, it's water resistant then! S: It isn't! W: All right, it's water absorbent! It's...Super Absorbent String! 'ABSORB WATER TODAY WITH SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL WATER ABSORB-A-TEX STRINGETTES! AWAY WITH FLOODS!' S: You just said it was waterproof! W: 'AWAY WITH THE DULL DRUDGERY OF WORKADAY TIDAL WAVES! USE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL FLOOD PREVENTERS!' S: You're mad! W: Shut up, shut up, shut up! Sex, sex sex, must get sex into it. Wait, I see a television commercial- There's this nude woman in a bath holding a bit of your string. That's great, great, but we need a doctor, got to have a medical opinion. There's a nude woman in a bath with a doctor--that's too sexy. Put an Archbishop there watching them, that'll take the curse off it. Now, we need children and animals. There's two kids admiring the string, and a dog admiring the Archbishop who's blessing the string. Uhh...international flavor's missing...make the Archbishop Greek Orthodox.... why not ArchBishop Makarios? No no, he's dead. Never mind, we'll get his brother, it'll be cheaper. So, there's Archbishop Makarios's brother... (fade out) http://www.montypython.net/scripts/string.php tanman4u, bigvalboy and + poolboy48220 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larstrup Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 AdamSmith, Mydavid, bigvalboy and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigvalboy Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 (edited) Edited May 31, 2017 by bigvalboy + FreshFluff, AdamSmith and Mydavid 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 LMMFAO!!! bigvalboy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larstrup Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 Google+, like clowns, has always frightened me. bigvalboy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Whereas, if it's a cute boy ... Actually, probably the same answer, but you can always dream! AdamSmith, + Oliver and bigvalboy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 http://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/ftfk1l6qzf5kjld/File%20May%2031%2C%2011%2032%2001%20AM.jpeg?dl=0 Gman Nvr2Thick, AdamSmith, TruHart1 and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 AdamSmith 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nvr2Thick Posted June 2, 2017 Share Posted June 2, 2017 Google+, like clowns, has always frightened me. http://www.geek.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/social_media_donut.jpg + José Soplanucas and + honcho 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted June 2, 2017 Share Posted June 2, 2017 http://www.geek.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/social_media_donut.jpg I've never heard of Last FM. Gman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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