TruHart1 Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 (edited) Blowjob A cute teenager is walking downtown and a guy whispers to him, "Blowjob, fifty dollars." He gives him a strange look and keeps walking. Soon another guy does the same thing. Confused, he keeps walking. The first thing out of his mouth when he returns home is, "Dad, what's a blowjob?" His dad replies, "Fifty dollars, just like downtown!" TruHart1 Edited January 6, 2017 by TruHart1 + Keith30309, Zman, AdamSmith and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruHart1 Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 New Years Eve On New Year's Eve, Declan stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, he wanted everyone to be standing next to the one person, spouse or friend, who made their life worth living. Well, it was actually kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death! :eek: TruHart1 + honcho, whipped guy, beachboy and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruHart1 Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 Bride-to-be The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy." The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..." "I know how to fuck, mother," the bride-to-be interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna." TruHart1 rvwnsd, + Oliver, beachboy and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruHart1 Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 TruHart1 + WmClarke, whipped guy, Zman and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruHart1 Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 ...and a groaner for the punsters!!! TruHart1 + deej, AdamSmith, whipped guy and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geminibear Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 whipped guy, BSR, + quoththeraven and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ quoththeraven Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 The poor puppy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geminibear Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 + WmClarke, dlee02, beachboy and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvwnsd Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 AdamSmith, beachboy, + Oliver and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvwnsd Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 http://www.nicolesnickels.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/nerd.jpg beachboy and + honcho 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ azdr0710 Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 http://68.media.tumblr.com/9792b4b01666f1bd21c2fe7740992215/tumblr_mo6391v1rt1qdf81so1_1280.jpg + Oliver, whipped guy, bigvalboy and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Hold onto your eyeballs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvwnsd Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 http://www.markstivers.com/wordpress/comics/2003-01-19%20Personal%20trainer.gif bigvalboy, AdamSmith, whipped guy and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvwnsd Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0440/9049/files/6-3.2.jpg?745 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvwnsd Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 http://www.webdonuts.com/comics/2015-05-11-Personal-Trainer.jpg AdamSmith and + Oliver 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whipped guy Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Blowjob A cute teenager is walking downtown and a guy whispers to him, "Blowjob, fifty dollars." He gives him a strange look and keeps walking. Soon another guy does the same thing. Confused, he keeps walking. The first thing out of his mouth when he returns home is, "Dad, what's a blowjob?" His dad replies, "Fifty dollars, just like downtown!" TruHart1 A quickie... Well the way I heard that basic joke it involved a catholic priest newly assigned to a parish. He decided to take a walk into town without his collar and was confronted by a woman who asked if he wanted a "quickie only 25 bucks" . Not knowing what it meant he ignored her. Then another woman asked him the same question. Then another!!!! Totally confused he thought to himself, "Hmmm... This must be woman stuff. I'll ask Mother Superior." He rings the convent doorbell and Mother superior comes to the front door. "Mother Superior, what's a quickie?" Her response, "25 bucks. Same price as in town!" Yes, totally tasteless... and the $25 banana price point dates how long it has been since I heard that joke!!! AdamSmith, hotboi, TruHart1 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 So the novice young nun escapes the convent, goes into town, walks into the liquor store and nonchalantly asks for a fifth. The counter clerk, somewhat taken aback, recovers himself and asks, "Uh...er...Sister, are you sure the Mother Superior will approve?" The nun leans close and whispers confidentially, "Actually, it IS for the Mother Superior. For her constipation, you understand." Clerk: "OH! Sorry! Say no more. Here you go." Couple hours later, at closing time, he locks up the shop, starts to walk down the street -- and right around the corner spies the young Sister sitting on the sidewalk, propped up against a doorstep, clutching the empty bottle and completely blotto. Shocked clerk: "SISTER! Look at you! And you said that was for the Mother Superior's constipation!" Very sloshed Sister: "But it is. When she sees me like this, she's gonna shit!" rvwnsd, Nvr2Thick, Kevin Slater and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whipped guy Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Mother superior at the grocery: "I would like to buy 10 dozen bananas for the convent." Salesman: "If you buy such a large quantity, it is more economical to buy 144 of them." Mother superior: "Oh well, we could always EAT the other 24." + José Soplanucas, rvwnsd, + honcho and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whipped guy Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. The first one says, "I've never come this way before." The second nun replies, "Must be the cobble stones!" AdamSmith, Zman, + honcho and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvwnsd Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/a-funny-nun-pics-0.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=500&h=311 + Oliver and + honcho 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvwnsd Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 + honcho, AdamSmith and + MasssageGuy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whipped guy Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Nuns always travel in pairs. One night two sisters get lost and end up in a bad area of town. Two guys confront them and begin to rape them. The first nun looks up to God and says, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they're doing." The second nun looks up and exclaims, "This one does!" (Gotta cool it now, I'm unleashing all my pent up frustrations from 8 years of parochial school! ) + honcho, hotboi, TruHart1 and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. The first one says, "I've never come this way before." The second nun replies, "Must be the cobble stones!" LMAO whipped guy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ quoththeraven Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Better late than never: a fun holiday dish: phallic banana-based salad with creamy white pineapple sauce. Yum! source AdamSmith and rvwnsd 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 A True Story... Staid, straightlaced Wallace Stevens once walked into a meeting of the Bollingen Poetry Prize committee, of which he was a member that year, and stunned his colleagues by guffawing out: "You know why they're called nuns? Because they ain't ever had none, and they ain't ever going to get none!" + MasssageGuy, rvwnsd, TruHart1 and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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