Friday Funnies

[+ Gar1eth]

I remember them. I doubt they're sold anymore.

 

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/85/e7/e5/85e7e5a0203969b2cfa902037ffd3fdb.jpg

 

http://cdn2.bigcommerce.com/server5500/c7aff/products/524/images/1684/hot_dig_fig_bagel__40012.1414588440.1280.1280.jpg?c=2

 

Now they just advertise this using their Crescent Rolls Dough.

 

Gman

[TruHart1]

When strangers are rudely staring:

 

TruHart1

[TruHart1]

I'll drink to this!!!

TruHart1

[AdamSmith]

Now they just advertise this using their Crescent Rolls Dough.

 

Gman

This reminds of my high school best friend who was Jewish telling how his aunt fainted at his bris when she saw them serve pigs-in-blankets.

Edited May 6, 2016 by AdamSmith

[Guest]

This reminds of my high school best friend who was Jewish telling how his aunt fainted at his bris when she saw them serve pigs-in-blankets.

 

Serving pork at a bris? Not exactly kosher, is it?

[+ Gar1eth]

This reminds of my high school best friend who was Jewish telling how his aunt fainted at his bris when she saw them serve pigs-in-blankets.

 

Serving pork at a bris? Not exactly kosher, is it?

 

 

Gman

[+ WmClarke]

Anything for Leon's Custard

 

http://i1305.photobucket.com/albums/s545/WmClarke/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpsjyczmkrz.jpeg

[AdamSmith]

[+ poolboy48220]

I work with a number of these people. "oh, I didn't pay attention to that" is one's refrain.

[AdamSmith]

I work with a number of these people. "oh, I didn't pay attention to that" is one's refrain.

Likewise. I right now have a subcontractor who apparently thinks I hired her to do the 90% of the job that is easy, and leave the 10% hard part for me to finish.

Edited May 7, 2016 by AdamSmith

[AdamSmith]

[AdamSmith]

[Guest]

 

Gman

I guess that would make it "steers in a blanket"?

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

At my nephew's college graduation today, those in the over-50 group were comparing various joint surgeries, to which one aunt leaned over to graduate and said, "when you get old, all you talk about is your body parts."

 

Without missing a beat, my nephew said, "that's all college kids talk about, too. It's just different body parts."

[+ Gar1eth]

http://imgc-cn.artprintimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/87/8763/8S2T300Z/posters/j-c-duffy-a-man-receives-a-note-from-under-the-closet-door-new-yorker-cartoon.jpg

 

Gman

[+ glennnn]

Time for some Sunday limericks. You've probably heard them all. Thes are some of my favs.

 

There was young man from Alsace

Whose balls were made out of brass.

He banged 'em together

And played, "Stormy Weather",

While lightning shot out of his ass.

 

I knew a young man from Knizes,

Whose nuts came in two different sizes.

The left was so small,

It hardly mattered at all,

But the right was quite large and won prizes!

 

A horny young man from Adair

Butt-fucked his friend on the stair.

When the bannister broke

He quickened his stroke,

And finished him off in the air.

 

A lesbian who lived in Khartoum

Took a gay boy up to her room.

They argued all night

Over who had the right

To do which, and with what, and to whom.

 

Anyone else care to share??

[AdamSmith]

...Who stuffed his ass

With broken glass

And circumcised the vicar!

 

From a niche in the Church of St. Giles

Came a scream that resounded for miles.

'Oh, my goodness gracious!'

Cried Father Ignatius.

'How was I to know the bishop had piles?'

[+ Gar1eth]

I found it!!!

 

http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/1/17172/1074014-haystack.jpg

 

Gman

Edited May 9, 2016 by Gar1eth

[mike carey]

[+ Gar1eth]

 

Gman

[AdamSmith]

[Zman]

http://m.likesuccess.com/quotes/2/81651.png

[+ tristanbaldwin]

Tristan Baldwin, if you EVER make it to Detroit, this is happening...

LOL! Love it!

[mike carey]

[gallahadesquire]

Time for some Sunday limericks. You've probably heard them all. Thes are some of my favs.

 

There was young man from Alsace

Whose balls were made out of brass.

He banged 'em together

And played, "Stormy Weather",

While lightning shot out of his ass.

 

I knew a young man from Knizes,

Whose nuts came in two different sizes.

The left was so small,

It hardly mattered at all,

But the right was quite large and won prizes!

 

A horny young man from Adair

Butt-fucked his friend on the stair.

When the bannister broke

He quickened his stroke,

And finished him off in the air.

 

A lesbian who lived in Khartoum

Took a gay boy up to her room.

They argued all night

Over who had the right

To do which, and with what, and to whom.

 

Anyone else care to share??

 

...Who stuffed his ass

With broken glass

And circumcised the vicar!

 

From a niche in the Church of St. Giles

Came a scream that resounded for miles.

'Oh, my goodness gracious!'

Cried Father Ignatius.

'How was I to know the bishop had piles?'

 

There was a young scholar at Kings,

Whose mind was on Secular things--

His secret Desire

Was a boy in the Choir

Whose ass was like Jelly on Springs.

 

{repeat from a couple of years ago}

There is a young scholar named Sims,

Who hums (it is said) when he Rims:

A Spectacular Ass

Gets the B-minor Mass;

The rest just get Anglican Hymns.

 

{and more recently}

There was a young woman of Chichester,

Who made the Saints in the niches stir;

One day at Matins

Her breasts in white Satins

Made the Bishop of Chichester's Britches stir.