Friday Funnies

[+ Gar1eth]

 

http://giggag.selfemployed.netdna-cdn.com/thumbnails/201305/13685049971m.jpg

 

Gman

[bigvalboy]

The Pope arrives in heaven, where St. Peter awaites him. St. Peter asks who he is.

 

The Pope: "I am the pope."

 

St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."

 

The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth."

 

St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me ..."

 

The Pope: "But I am the leader of the Catholic Church ..."

 

St. Peter: "The Catholic church ... Never heard of it ... Wait, I'll check with the boss."

 

St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God.

 

St. Peter: "There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth."

 

God: "I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of ... Wait, I'll ask Jesus." (yells for Jesus)

 

Jesus: "Yes father, what's up?"

 

God and St. Peter explain the situation.

 

Jesus: "Wait, I'll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow."

 

Ten minutes pass and Jesus reenters the room laughing out loud. After a few minutes St. Peter asks Jesus why he's laughing.

 

Jesus: "Remember that fishing club I've started 2000 years ago? It still exists

[TruHart1]

What's the deal with these words:

 

 

 

 

TruHart1

[+ Gar1eth]

What's the deal with these words:

 

 

 

 

TruHart1

 

Why was there a CPA in the town I grew up in with the last name of SWINDLE?

 

Gman

[TruHart1]

Those straight men seem so confused!!!

 

TruHart1

[+ Gar1eth]

http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/201311_0751_fafad.jpg

 

Gman

[Zman]

http://www.mobilelikez.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/image_url_1454374800.jpg

 

http://www.mobilelikez.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/image_url_1454374796.jpg

 

http://www.mobilelikez.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/image_url_1454374785.jpg

[+ quoththeraven]

http://giggag.selfemployed.netdna-cdn.com/thumbnails/201305/13685049971m.jpg

 

Gman

 

Should really be purple.

[AdamSmith]

Should really be purple.

Someone was canoodling around.

[+ Gar1eth]

Someone was canoodling around.

 

 

Most likely with Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory.

 

Gman

[+ quoththeraven]

Someone was canoodling around.

 

Yes, so Gman informed me by PM. :oops: 'Twas not a factor my brain considered.

[AdamSmith]

Yes, so Gman informed me by PM. :oops: 'Twas not a factor my brain considered.

Their faces say it all.

[+ quoththeraven]

Their faces say it all.

 

True; wasn't looking at them, either. What can I say? It was a surprisingly tiring week. Having to get up early (for me) on Wednesday for a municipal court hearing on a ticket I got when my car was totaled (the ticket was dismissed but I had to pay court costs) did me in.

[+ Gar1eth]

True; wasn't looking at them, either. What can I say? It was a surprisingly tiring week. Having to get up early (for me) on Wednesday for a municipal court hearing on a ticket I got when my car was totaled (the ticket was dismissed but I had to pay court costs) did me in.

 

 

Oh-I'm sorry you were in an accident. I hope you weren't hurt.

 

Gman

[Guest]

Now you've got me curious. Why would you get a ticket when your car was totaled?

[+ quoththeraven]

Now you've got me curious. Why would you get a ticket when your car was totaled?

 

Because I didn't have my insurance card with me.

 

Oh-I'm sorry you were in an accident. I hope you weren't hurt.

 

Gman

 

I'm fine, thanks. It was mentioned in another less visible thread.

[+ honcho]

Now you've got me curious. Why would you get a ticket when your car was totaled?

 

Well, obviously, I can't speak for QTR, but I can relate a somewhat parallel situation. Back in late may of 2011 (I think), my acura (bottom-of-the-line) integra was stolen, and a few days later, I was told the car had been found in Oakland with enough stuff missing from the engine compartment that it was not drivable. (And was subsquently totalled). Nonetheless, the Oakland police department had issued a citation for it being parked in a red zone, and I was responsible for the towing charges.

 

The City of Oakland was gracious enough to dismiss the parking violation without my having to appear

in court, unlike QTR's experience.

 

[Does anybody remember when the really bad quake hit japan where the Tsunami wiped out a nuclear

reactor? It stopped the importation of honda insights for about 6 months, and I snagged the last base model

available in SF memorial day weekend of that year].

 

[ I "liked" her posting because I'm glad she wasn't injured]

[+ quoththeraven]

Well, obviously, I can't speak for QTR, but I can relate a somewhat parallel situation. Back in late may of 2011 (I think), my acura (bottom-of-the-line) integra was stolen, and a few days later, I was told the car had been found in Oakland with enough stuff missing from the engine compartment that it was not drivable. (And was subsquently totalled). Nonetheless, the Oakland police department had issued a citation for it being parked in a red zone, and I was responsible for the towing charges.

 

The City of Oakland was gracious enough to dismiss the parking violation without my having to appear

in court, unlike QTR's experience.

 

[Does anybody remember when the really bad quake hit japan where the Tsunami wiped out a nuclear

reactor? It stopped the importation of honda insights for about 6 months, and I snagged the last base model

available in SF memorial day weekend of that year].

 

[ I "liked" her posting because I'm glad she wasn't injured]

 

I had to appear in court twice. It could have been once but the judge made it clear my case would likely be heard and resolved last; the original appearance is more to sort out issues and prepare for the real hearing. This way I was there for two and a half hours total instead of all morning and most of the afternoon.

 

The charge was dismissed but I had to pay court costs of $33, for which privilege I stood in line for ten or fifteen minutes. Maybe that's why I'm so tired.

[+ Gar1eth]

Because I didn't have my insurance card with me.

 

Ahh so that's why they dismissed it (you have insurance) but had to pay court costs.

 

Years ago in Houston-I was given a ticket for not having renewed my license plate. I had. But I needed to get a scraper to scrape off the old tags-hadn't done it at the time the policeman gave me a ticket. Probably the car was parked with me being away from it-or I could have shown the policeman I had the sticker in the glove box.

 

So I had to go to court. I was late getting out of work and missed my trial by like 15 minutes. I was terrified I was going to be arrested. I hired a lawyer and explained the situation.

 

We showed up at court a few days later. He went upfront and talked to someone-the DA or the judge-they dismissed the ticket. I don't remember having to pay court costs-only the attorney's fee. Maybe I did though. It happened 25 years ago. I've definitely forgotten a lot of the details.

 

Gman

[Guest]

The City of Oakland was gracious enough to dismiss the parking violation without my having to appear

in court, unlike QTR's experience.

Ah, I hear Oakland MD is lovely this time of year...

http://townmapsusa.com/images/maps/map_of_oakland_md.jpg

 

http://imgcdn.americantowns.com/img/uploads/photos/2010/2/23/img4b845ef52124f.jpg

[+ honcho]

Ah, I hear Oakland MD is lovely this time of year...

 

Apologies,

 

I thought I had mentioned enough times living in the SF Bay Area that people would have understood

that was Oakland CA.

 

The photo you shared of Oakland MD was quite really quite picturesque; thank you

[TruHart1]

Kind of a sweet video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4E7kEKeudQ

 

TruHart1

[sincitymix]

Should really be purple.

yellow+blue makes green

[geminibear]

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Overhead at the gym today:

 

"There must be something wrong with my DVR. I keep trying to record The Biggest Loser, but all I get are Kentucky basketball games."