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Friday Funnies


jackhammer91406

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With the recent path my life has taken, I have found it helpful to try to focus on upbeat things, especially humor (a relative term to be sure). Some of my close friends have taken to sending me jokes. I thought you might like to see a few.

If there is interest perhaps I will post some more along the way.

You might have a joke that would make me laugh out loud, so feel free to add it to the thread.

 

Here are few for today:

 

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

 

And then....

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

 

Finally........

 

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

Dear Chief Broken Toe:

I miss your gentle, soft paws, your loving humor, your love of orchids, your soft warm lips and kisses, your love and support of life and so many around you, your gentle/nurturing heart, your strength and strong character, your ability to carry your own pain and others~

In love of you and I will remember you always/dedicated...

Smiles and laughter sweet buddy~

Love always...

Tyger~

Tyger~

971.400.2633

tygerkink@yahoo.com

 

http://www.daddysreviews.com/venue/usa/oregon/tyger_portland

 

http://rentmen.com/AAATygerscentXXX

 

http://m.men4rentnow.com/profile.cfm?CID=114061

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:D Still have my yellowing old copy right up there on the shelf.

 

http://ringlord.com/people/walrus/lotr/pix/BotR-854x1446.jpeg

I can't find my copy! I think I must have loaned it out years ago.

 

Wasn't it "Dildo Bugger"? A lot of the joke names in there might be hard for younger people to get the jokes. Goodgulf the wizard, Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt...some dated references there. I haven't seen a Gulf station in years, and not even sure Arrow makes shirts any more.

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I can't find my copy! I think I must have loaned it out years ago.

 

Wasn't it "Dildo Bugger"? A lot of the joke names in there might be hard for younger people to get the jokes. Goodgulf the wizard, Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt...some dated references there. I haven't seen a Gulf station in years, and not even sure Arrow makes shirts any more.

Yes! Dildo Bugger. And yeah, many jokes that date us who get them. Another such is "Roi-Tan" on the map, after the cigar brand.

 

Wonder what is the age cutoff for recognizing the Bay of Milhous?

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