Escort Etiquette .... Just plain rude!

[lrbigdicktaker]

Hey guys.

 

Given the area from where I am at, we don't get very many high quality escorts or escorts in general. So, when this escort advertised in my area, I got excited and e-mail him on adam4adam; where, of course, it has more detail profile about myself.

 

Well, I asked him a simple questions, which was when was he available for two hours. I didn't get any response, so I e-mailed him two days later when he was suppose to be in town thru adam4adam and asked him "So, your not coming to town?". Next thing I know I was blocked; no explanation. I was never pushy, smart ass, or anything. Two very short, simple, to the point e-mails.

 

This is a very beloved escort and active on this form, and I don't wish to name him, however, don't escorts have etiquette?

 

#1 - Don't list your going to be in an area and not show up. At least if you not going to be there, take down your travel dates.

 

#2 - Don't get pissed off about being asked something you publicly indicated you had intentions on doing.

 

#3 - A simple e-mail saying Yes, No, Maybe, not enough business, etc, etc, etc.

 

Not every escort is interested in every guy, but don't escorts have enough common courtesy to say, "I don't think were compatible", or "Not interested".

 

It's just plain rude! Well, thats one escort off my "To Do" list. Now it's time to find a replacement.

[Scorpio]

Well, I asked him a simple questions, which was when was he available for two hours. I didn't get any response, so I e-mailed him two days later when he was suppose to be in town thru adam4adam and asked him "So, your not coming to town?". Next thing I know I was blocked; no explanation. I was never pushy, smart ass, or anything. Two very short, simple, to the point e-mails.

 

Actually, depending on how someone read it, the second email could be perceived as smart ass-y. Even though you didn't intend it to be, you have no control over how someone interprets your written words.

 

This is a very beloved escort and active on this form, and I don't wish to name him, however, don't escorts have etiquette?

 

That's your choice, but you've narrowed down the field to finite group of escorts...so all those that post here and are beloved may be mistakenly perceived as the guilty party when they not.

 

Not every escort is interested in every guy, but don't escorts have enough common courtesy to say, "I don't think were compatible", or "Not interested".

 

Some do, some don't. Yes, it's frustrating if they don't reply but such is life. In all my initial contact emails I accurately describe myself as I know not every escort is suitable for every client. If I don't get a reply within a few days, I might follow up with a "so I was just checking to see if perhaps my initial inquiry got lost in cyber space." If I still don't get a reply, it's always safe bet that they weren't comfortable with my stats or something. So if you had detailed profile and you got blocked after the second email, it's safe to assume the escort wasn't interested. Yes, the courtesy email of "I don't think were compatible" or "not interested" might have been nice; but I've also received a couple of those and they're not always as welcome as you might expect. Sometimes no reply is the best reply.

[Boston Guy]

When I'm traveling to a city, I'll typically email several escorts two or three days in advance. The email is always short, to the point, polite and friendly. I give the dates when I'll be in town, the hotel that I'll be at, what I'm looking for and a bit about myself. I ask for a simple reply letting me know if they're available to get together.

 

On average these days, I get a response back to about one email out of ten. Usually I'll get another one or two about two weeks later from guys who say "Sorry! Just checked my email. Do you still want to get together?" Of course, by then I'm often on the other side of the country.

 

BG

[lrbigdicktaker]

Actually, depending on how someone read it, the second email could be perceived as smart ass-y. Even though you didn't intend it to be, you have no control over how someone interprets your written words.

 

Yes, I was thinking that as I wrote this. But come on, really....

 

That's your choice, but you've narrowed down the field to finite group of escorts...so all those that post here and are beloved may be mistakenly perceived as the guilty party when they not.

 

I'm not trying to name the escort, just venting.

 

Some do, some don't. Yes, it's frustrating if they don't reply but such is life. In all my initial contact emails I accurately describe myself as I know not every escort is suitable for every client. If I don't get a reply within a few days, I might follow up with a "so I was just checking to see if perhaps my initial inquiry got lost in cyber space." If I still don't get a reply, it's always safe bet that they weren't comfortable with my stats or something. So if you had detailed profile and you got blocked after the second email, it's safe to assume the escort wasn't interested. Yes, the courtesy email of "I don't think were compatible" or "not interested" might have been nice; but I've also received a couple of those and they're not always as welcome as you might expect. Sometimes no reply is the best reply.

 

As always, I describe myself as well. I've learned though the years of hiring escorts, it's best to be honest about who you are, than to hide who you are or not tell at all and the whole entire situation be awkward. I believe a professional escort could have handled this situation much better.

 

My preconceived notion about this escort was that he had a heart of gold, as I do believe most escorts on here do, so we I got blocked, it was heart shocking. In this case, I would have of preferred a no reply, however, he slammed the door in my face and it hit me in the ass.

 

I look at Daddy's board as the Better Business Bureau of escorting. There a three ways to spread news; telephone, telefax, and tell a queer. There is only one place on the internet to talk about your escorting frustrations; I am just getting something off my chest!

[JT Brooklyn]

When there's a "Middle Man" handling your email and your not using the "Working Guys" email adress there's a possibility he will not get it!

 

You did say your only Contact for him was thru A4A..If you notice alot of guys on Rentboy.. give THEIR email address as opposed to the site Contact for this reason.

[Kevin Slater]

When I'm traveling to a city, I'll typically email several escorts two or three days in advance. The email is always short, to the point, polite and friendly. I give the dates when I'll be in town, the hotel that I'll be at, what I'm looking for and a bit about myself. I ask for a simple reply letting me know if they're available to get together.

 

On average these days, I get a response back to about one email out of ten.

 

I wonder if this isn't creating the problem as much as solving it. Assuming you were only looking to hire one escort during your stay, at best the chances of that email leading to a booking is 1/N. Not that that doesn't deserve a reply nevertheless, but perhaps the lesson learned is that these emails don't often result in anything. Of course if you were looking to hire several, my math and conclusion would be wrong.

 

Kevin Slater

[Boston Guy]

Kevin,

 

That's a good point. When I travel for business (which I do every single month and sometimes several times in the month), I usually head someplace for three to four days. My business is usually concluded during the day, so my evenings are normally free except for dinner, email and a bit of preparation for the next day. I always have a good book with me and there's always the Internet, so I can amuse myself during each evening if need be without being bored or unhappy. But I tend to prefer hiring someone on each of the nights. Sometimes that's how it works out and sometimes I can't get much of a response from anyone and so I end up hiring only one guy or no one at all.

 

I've even had trouble getting escorts to respond to voice mail. I prefer making initial contact by email if it's someone I haven't met before. But if a guy hasn't responded via email or has indicated that he prefers voice mail, I may make the call. If I get voice mail, I leave a brief, friendly message that is devoid of lots of gory details. It'll be something like "Hi, my name is BG. I'm here in town at the Big Hotel. I saw your ad and am very interested in meeting you. Please give me call back at 123-456-7890. Thanks." Many of those phone calls are never returned.

 

My conclusion is that most escorts are have enough demand for their services that they just don't care about the average client who contacts them. If they blow one person off, there will be another around the corner soon enough so why bother being polite when it's just a waste of time? And, by the way, I don't think is particularly worse than it used to be. Search the archives and you'll find lots of posts here where clients complained that escorts were hard to contact, didn't return email, etc., etc.

 

BG

[ted]

Actually, I think it is worse. I don't hire as frequently as I used to, and most of those are with guys I've known for awhile. Probably about 3 times a year though I hire someone completely new, and almost invariably in New York. I usually have some pretty specific time constraints though. I used to email 2 or 3 guys about a week in advance to set something up and would say normally got fairly prompt replies from 2 of the 3. These days I start emailing almost 2 weeks in advance and like to start with 4, and its not unusual to have to do a second round when you hear from none of the original 4.

[AdamSmith]

On average these days, I get a response back to about one email out of ten. Usually I'll get another one or two about two weeks later from guys who say "Sorry! Just checked my email. Do you still want to get together?" Of course, by then I'm often on the other side of the country.

 

I repeat myself about this to the point of being a bore. But to the ramparts again:

 

I use phone instead of email, and I get almost a 100% response rate. Either they pick up when I call, or they return the call within an hour or two.

 

Why this continuing fixation with email, when every single post is a complaint about how ineffective it is?

[JT Brooklyn]

Well IMHO to alot of guys.."Getting it in Writing" calms NERVES for those who are Contacting a "Working Guy" for the FIRST Time.

 

Email also lets you make sure you have asked all the "questions" you have about a meeting!

 

Even though what is written is always NOT the way things eventually turned out after the meeting, as with other "Salesmen" you can get alot of YES which turns out NO after a Cell Conversation.

 

I do understand the Cell Call.. IF your looking to meet within a very short Time Frame....Like the next 4 Hours to see IF he's available.

[wayout]

Why this continuing fixation with email, when every single post is a complaint about how ineffective it is?

 

I think that is a really great question, especially since I almost always make contact and arrangements by email and have noticed that there does seem to be a decrease in the response rate by emails lately. I would think the downturn in the economy would result in increase response rate but that isn't what I am experiencing. I've also noticed that when phone numbers aren't listed and only contact by email is available, it is less likely to get a response. I think that is related to the escort no longer being in the biz but sites keeping ads up (i.e. Men4RentNow).

 

Anyway, for an upcoming trip I may change my method and do phone calls as the way for initial contact to see how that works for me.

[Boston Guy]

Adam, I do understand that calling works better for you. My experience with calling escorts is that I almost always get voicemail and that the number of replies from it isn't so much better than the email replies.

 

Why do I prefer to use email instead for an initial contact? There are a number of reasons. First, it lets me be a bit more organized and keep track of whom I've tried to contact. Second, it gives me a way to efficiently contact several guys. Since my initial email is factual and brief, I simply copy and paste it. Third, I'm busy and often not in the same time zone as the one that I'm heading to. Using email lets me send requests at any time of day and, presumably, lets the recipient answer at their leisure. And, finally, sometimes calling is just not possible. For example, I was recently in NY and planning on leaving the city at the end of the afternoon. Something came up and I needed to stay for another day. There was no way that I could pick up the phone and call some escorts while at my customer's location. But I could and did send an email to an escort to see if he was available.

 

BG

[Kevin Slater]

My experience with calling escorts is that I almost always get voicemail and that the number of replies from it isn't so much better than the email replies.

 

Have you stated before that you call from a blocked or restricted phone number? If so, there's your answer.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ deej]

Why do I prefer to use email instead for an initial contact? There are a number of reasons. First, it lets me be a bit more organized and keep track of whom I've tried to contact. Second, it gives me a way to efficiently contact several guys. Since my initial email is factual and brief, I simply copy and paste it. Third, I'm busy and often not in the same time zone as the one that I'm heading to. Using email lets me send requests at any time of day and, presumably, lets the recipient answer at their leisure. And, finally, sometimes calling is just not possible. For example, I was recently in NY and planning on leaving the city at the end of the afternoon. Something came up and I needed to stay for another day. There was no way that I could pick up the phone and call some escorts while at my customer's location. But I could and did send an email to an escort to see if he was available.

 

In addition to Kevin's excellent response, what you've written boils down to "easier for MEEEEEEEEE". That doesn't mean it's easier for someone else.

 

Those of us who live our lives in front of a computer often forget that the majority of the population isn't like us. There are a lot of people who consider themselves "well-connected" if they turn on the the computer and check email 3 times/week. Google is something they talk about on the TV machine.

 

Not everyone has all hailing frequencies open at all times. Some will respond on different frequencies with different, um, frequency.

 

It isn't easy but we should avoid projecting our reality on others. That's an impedance mismatch that just won't ever be a 100% fit.

[Guest alanm]

I do understand that calling works better for you. My experience with calling escorts is that I almost always get voicemail and that the number of replies from it isn't so much better than the email replies.

 

 

One point of confusion for me, BG. Are you always in new cities, so you can not build somewhat on-going relationships with escorts in the cities you visit? It sound like you are starting from scratch all the time.

[Boston Guy]

Have you stated before that you call from a blocked or restricted phone number? If so, there's your answer.

 

Kevin Slater

 

I used to. But there's no sense calling someone who won't accept blocked numbers from a blocked number, so I don't do that.

 

BG

[wayout]

Not everyone has all hailing frequencies open at all times. Some will respond on different frequencies with different, um, frequency.

 

It isn't easy but we should avoid projecting our reality on others. That's an impedance mismatch that just won't ever be a 100% fit.

 

 

Wouldn't it be best then for the escort to state clearly his preferences for how to be contacted and state that blocked calls will be ignored, emails will be answered but may take longer, etc.? I see that sometimes in ads and it really is appreciated as a clue as to how to best approach the opening contact.

[Boston Guy]

In addition to Kevin's excellent response, what you've written boils down to "easier for MEEEEEEEEE". That doesn't mean it's easier for someone else.

 

Those of us who live our lives in front of a computer often forget that the majority of the population isn't like us. There are a lot of people who consider themselves "well-connected" if they turn on the the computer and check email 3 times/week. Google is something they talk about on the TV machine.

 

Not everyone has all hailing frequencies open at all times. Some will respond on different frequencies with different, um, frequency.

 

It isn't easy but we should avoid projecting our reality on others. That's an impedance mismatch that just won't ever be a 100% fit.

 

Perhaps, Deej, but there's more to it than that. I'm a client who is making an effort to contact a person who is selling a service. The people I email are people who have provided an email address with which to contact them. Similarly, the escorts I call are ones who have provided a phone number to use when calling them. Sometimes I contact escorts through Rentboy using the facility provided there.

 

If I'm contacting someone, it means that I'm seriously interested in getting together and willing to spend some money. If an escort doesn't bother to check email often enough to get back to me in some reasonable time or to return voicemail, that's ok. I don't get angry. I just move on to an escort who makes it easier to get together and I spend my money with that person instead.

 

If it sounds like I want it to be easy for meeee, I guess that's because I do. I'm only willing to expend so much time and effort trying to get in touch with someone before I move on to someone easier. I guess I believe that it shouldn't be that difficult to spend my money. Also, I hire a lot of escorts while I'm traveling but the purpose of my time on the road is business. I just don't have the time to spend hours trying repeatedly to get in touch with someone.

 

If an escort is easy to reach, friendly, and doesn't come with tons of special demands, I'll probably say "let's get together". If I've contacted someone, I already know that I'm interested enough to go ahead if they get back to me and there aren't any red flags. So I do what I can to make it easy for them, too. It goes both ways.

 

BG

[Boston Guy]

One point of confusion for me, BG. Are you always in new cities, so you can not build somewhat on-going relationships with escorts in the cities you visit? It sound like you are starting from scratch all the time.

 

Hi Alan,

 

Nice to see you are still around.

 

There's a group of cities that I travel to often and then I fairly regularly visit new places. I like that mixture of travel because it mixes the familiar with the chance to see new things. I approach escorts in sort of the same way. There are guys who I've gotten together with for a long time -- in one case, I've been hiring the same guy on and off since late 1998. But even in the cities that I visit all the time, I enjoy meeting and hiring new escorts. Getting together with old friends and with new acquaintances both have their own special attraction. With guys that I've never met before, I'm definitely starting from scratch.

 

BG

[KMEM]

So, BG-

 

You have the same itch we all do?

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Boston Guy]

So, BG-

 

You have the same itch we all do?

 

Best regards,

KMEM

 

 

I like to have fun. And guys who make it easy are the ones who get my money.

 

BG

[Terpmaniac]

How hard would it have been for him to simply say, "no I am not in town " or "no I am not seeing clients at this time"..my God how much effort would that have taken? And to block you at that..unbelievably rude and you have every right to be pissed!

[Boston Guy]

I agree. And if it were me, I'd seriously think about naming names.

 

BG

[Guest alanm]

There are guys who I've gotten together with for a long time -- in one case, I've been hiring the same guy on and off since late 1998. But even in the cities that I visit all the time, I enjoy meeting and hiring new escorts. Getting together with old friends and with new acquaintances both have their own special attraction. With guys that I've never met before, I'm definitely starting from scratch.

 

 

I am glad that I asked the question. To me, you were not coming across as the person I remember reading about for so many years on the site. You were writing as if you had become a confirmed loner -- which is fine some of the time. Now that I have read your answer all is right with the world again.

[+ deej]

If it sounds like I want it to be easy for meeee, I guess that's because I do. I'm only willing to expend so much time and effort trying to get in touch with someone before I move on to someone easier. I guess I believe that it shouldn't be that difficult to spend my money. Also, I hire a lot of escorts while I'm traveling but the purpose of my time on the road is business. I just don't have the time to spend hours trying repeatedly to get in touch with someone.

 

I understand all that, but it sounds like you're castigating people for not using email exactly the way you do. A lot of people won't.

 

I recently ordered a replacement remote for my garage door opener. After placing the order online, I realized the vendor was 20 minutes away from my home and I could avoid the $10 shipping charge by picking it up, so I sent them an email. I got a reply two days after the gizmo arrived.

 

It's pointless to apply YOUR expectations about email handling to others. They're YOUR expectations, after all, not theirs.