Remembrance of Things Past

[doitb4ugo]

Having spent the good part of my life enjoying porn as my only sexual experience with men, I have always supposed that my main means of gratification would be visual. Certainly, when viewing others or even pics of others, there is a huge visual component to the pleasure derived. Having only very recently experienced a real sexual exchange with a man, I find that what I seem to remember (and enjoy) is the tactil nature of the sexual encounter. I don't seem to remember much of any visual frame at all but can clearly recall and re-live some of the more sensual tactil feelings that took place (i.e., a body laying on top of me, a hand placed on my leg, a kiss on my shoulder, etc). These feeling can be brought back easily to provide me additional pleasure in the remembering. At the same time, I'm very surprised that I don't seem to be able to conjur up many visual images of my experiences.

 

While I imagine that everyone has a different view of their memory fragments, I'm curious how others here tend to remember their experiences. What do different people experience during such intense moments and does the emphasis on visual vs. tactil, cause us to perhaps see the same things in a very different light. Vive le difference.

 

You may also take this thread as my continued penchant for thinking too much on these things if you like (no offense will be taken). I look forward to hearing what others think.

[gp0560]

Memories

 

Very interesting, DoIt (aka Marcel). I started ticking off the senses to see if one worked more strongly than another to serve as my madeleine. What I found was that no specific sense worked better than another; instead, it was the guy's name (e.g., Baron de Charlus) that brought back the memory. His name invokes the whole "aura" of the experience. (Find me a better word than aura, please.) I can go back to any escort experience, and the guy's name will trigger all the sensations of the meeting. After that start, usually the visual recall gets stronger, sometimes the feel of the non-sexual part of the personal interaction between us.

 

Very interesting topic. Thank you for starting the thread.

[whipped guy]

Think about it...

 

I'm curious how others here tend to remember their experiences. What do different people experience during such intense moments and does the emphasis on visual vs. tactil, cause us to perhaps see the same things in a very different light… You may also take this thread as my continued penchant for thinking too much on these things if you like…

Sometimes it is good to think... and this is an quite a fascinating topic...

 

So, I don't mean to be flippant with this remark, but one of the pleasures (advantages?) of S&M is that very often the sensations can linger on for days. Of course there can be a downside as when things get out of hand and bruising remains for a period of time… but with experience and carefully choosing the right partner such issues are irrelevant. Rather, I am speaking of the singing sensation that one can experience in one’s nipples for days after a session, or the slight buzz one will feel in one’s butt after an intense paddling. So in that sense the tactile is really the most memorable consequence of a meeting… and a memory that keeps on giving… and a memory that one can cherish along with the visual memories.

 

Taking things back to a more traditional realm, while visual memories can be valued, the visual is usually only a portion of the memory. It can be a given that the image of a strong and well-muscled partner is quite alluring. However, it is the feel of those strong arms embracing you or the feel of a firm and well proportioned butt that can’t be expressed by the mere visual, or even in words… and that is what I tend to remember the most.

 

I actually recall my first experience… and the guy was a looker, but (at the risk of sounding like a spokesman for the cotton industry) it was “the look, the feel of the guy” combined (with emphasis on the tactile) that really floated my boat. So in the final analysis it is the “feel” that ultimately does it for me... and it is the feel that elevates the experience beyond mere porn.

 

At the risk of “thinking too much on these thing”, in addition to the visual and tactile I must mention the aural. My first time, the guy said something special to me… in fact it almost brought a tear to my eyes… and not surprisingly it is this poignant moment that I actually remember and treasure the most about that particular encounter.

 

So in the final analysis we all value things differently, and that which is most important to us will shape our memories, recollections, and reminiscences… be they positive, unfavorable, or indifferent. I sometimes have a penchant to over analyze myself… so I will only lightly touch upon the fact that the brain is really the largest sexual organ and how a meeting of the minds is what really makes things memorable…

[KMEM]

I remember everything there is to remember. The smell, the feel, what was said and what we did, where we were, both geographically and if in a hotel, my house bedroom or where ever. The more times I visited with the same person, the more permanent those memories became and become and the more they were the same, the more different they seemed to be. But, they definitely increased in intensity with multiple visits.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[+ purplekow]

While I enjoy the look of a sex man, I am one who tends to close his eyes during encounters. I have to work to open them and then for mere glances most of the time. I think this was leaned to allow me to use the other senses more. It should also be said, that the look of a man will not, in and of itself, get me hard.

However, I have found that slapping a well muscled ass can have me hard as a rock after two strokes, with the right recepient. It is not the sound of the hand crashing against ass alone, but that sound, plus the deep voiced grunt or groan that gets me going. Add in the sight of his hard red ass and the sting in my palm after a good slapping and man I am ready to go.

Kissing a man and tasting his salty skin and moist lips can also turn me on as a solitary sensory input, though it is hard to separate taste from smell.

Smell of a man. his entire pheremone output or just localized axilla, groin back neck they all have a slightly different and erotic smell.

I love all my senses

[doitb4ugo]

While I enjoy the look of a sex man, I am one who tends to close his eyes during encounters. I have to work to open them and then for mere glances most of the time. I think this was leaned to allow me to use the other senses more. It should also be said, that the look of a man will not, in and of itself, get me hard.

However, I have found that slapping a well muscled ass can have me hard as a rock after two strokes, with the right recepient. It is not the sound of the hand crashing against ass alone, but that sound, plus the deep voiced grunt or groan that gets me going. Add in the sight of his hard red ass and the sting in my palm after a good slapping and man I am ready to go.

Kissing a man and tasting his salty skin and moist lips can also turn me on as a solitary sensory input, though it is hard to separate taste from smell.

Smell of a man. his entire pheremone output or just localized axilla, groin back neck they all have a slightly different and erotic smell.

I love all my senses

 

WOW. Purplekow, you just got me hard....maybe I need someone to slap my ass (proverbially). I seem to get off on the written word as well.

 

I also tend to want to close my eyes. For me, it's a case of years of "catholic" guilt growing up. I'm now working on "seing" more. I certainly don't want to supplant the touch/feel aspect of my experiences. I enjoy them and the memory of them way too much. Thanks for sharing so intimately.

[seattlebottom]

While I enjoy the look of a sex man, I am one who tends to close his eyes during encounters.

 

Holy Purple Kow! I thought I was the only person who closed his eyes during sex.

 

I don't think I can fully recall a sexual encounter from beginning to end. I remember small things like a guy moaning as he grabbed my ass trying to get more of his dick in me. I remember the gasps when I nibbled on an Italian guy's foreskin. I remember a very rough fuck from a Mexican guy who wanted me to beg him to stop. I remember the ex cop who demanded that I be naked and on my knees by the time he got to my apartment.

 

It's strange what the mind considers important enough to remember. I used to try to remember everything about a sexual encounter but I guess I'm just not that kind of person.

[NYTomcat]

senses and sensual overload

 

LOL ok so Im the other side of the spectrum. I never close my eyes in fact i want to see his. Its funny there are certain things I remember.

 

Visually: Its the face. I remember the look on the guys face, the expressions and most importantly the eyes. When we gazed, when they rolled, when they were closed. Models talk of the smeyes (smiling with your eyes) That is by far the hottest expression during sex.

 

Auditory: Well if the face is a cue the sounds are soo much more. I recall the moans, the little growls, those sounds he makes when you get near his ears. Better OK I got my name because of my penchant for purring during. Not an affectation but a little rasp my throat makes.... during. I can remember very vividly the activities that evoked that response from me

 

Tactile: Well the feel of his skin, the feel of his legs wrapped around me. That light brush of his tongue, The feel of his rough face rubbing against mine. Yeah they are all there.

 

Taste: OK the taste of his mouth during the kiss, and yes the rest of his body. I remember them but they are not what brings forth the memory they are what is brought forth by other senses.

 

Olefactory: BY FAR THE THING, Its the smells that trigger the rest. Hell the cologne, just one whiff of Dolce and Gabbana and Im right back at one encounter. All the rest comes streaming back the moment I smell it and my eyes get that twinkling smile.

[instudiocity]

Learning involves all the senses

 

Educators will tell you that learning best takes place when you can involve all five senses. If you touch what you see you will remember it better than if you only see it. If you read something aloud you will remember what you read longer than reading it silently.

 

I've told all the young men in my life that I have a FIVE SENSES RULE regarding pornography. I don't want to see it if I can't smell it, touch it, hear it and taste it!

 

Think about the most intense memories in your life. Even now you can describe the look, the feelings, the sounds, maybe even the smells and tastes of those events.

 

Also think about what you do when you want to keep a memory, you want a photo, you want a journal entry or letter, you want a souvenir, anything that brings back what your five senses experienced during THAT MOMENT.

 

Think about the rituals and ceremonies of our lives. Within these rituals are the sensory keys to building a memory. Graduations, Christenings, Licensings, Weddings, Divorces, Legal judgements all exist to memorialize in our minds the events that shape our lives.

[whipped guy]

Mirrors and more...

 

I just got some more thoughts on the visual aspects... Shoot! When there is a mirror in the room... or even better multiple mirrors... and large mirrors at that it certainly heightens the experience... This from a guy who rarely closes his eyes... and does not like to be blindfolded during S&M even though that at times that can alter the experience for the better. It is like watching your own porn flick... and you get to touch and feel at the same time! I recall one instance when we both timed things perfectly and gushed at the same time... it was like watching a double volcanic eruption but since you were experiencing it yourself in real-time it had a curious mixture of the actual and the surreal.

 

As for the olfactory... my memories have been mostly bad in that department... I am not and was never into colognes and perfumes... not my thing. If it is overpowering that is not a turn on and if there is bad breath or other stenches involved... such as tobacco or coffee breath or the time the guys underwear reeked of smoke... those are the experiences that are etched in my mind the most. So for some reason all my olfactory remembrances have mostly negative connotations associated with them.

 

Still sometimes the buildup of sweat can be a good thing... and some special guys have had the ability to smell great even if sweaty from the gym as opposed to my usual preference of fresh from the shower. Likewise there have been special guys who have tasted great in either fresh or sweaty conditions as well...

[doitb4ugo]

Eye Opener

 

This thread has certainly been an eye opener for me....I tend to believe that things are as they are (i.e., frozen in time). I am re-thinking this now and realizing that a more fluid understanding of "sensuality" is very possible/desirable. I need to broaden my horizons and work on these other senses in order to more totally enjoy and treasure my interactions....Life is a journey not a destination....Unfortunately, I'll do this by developing a plan (LOL)....live and learn. To all the people who posted, thanks for sharing your thoughts. This thread seems somehow very private and personal. Not to mention that we have not gone too far off track yet (but it's early). What a great bunch of guys.

[Businessguy]

Eyes Wide Open

 

I too developed some of my sexual desires, fantasies and fetishes watching porn. My first purchase was a Colt film in 8mm. Now that should date me if you even know what that is. Anyway, the visual has always been a big deal for me. Not that the guy has to be visually perfect, it's that I get turned on more by seeing everything and I remember it in a very visual way. Like Whipped Guy, I also love mirrors and try to remember which hotel chains love mirrors too.

Many of my best J/O memories are based in visually replaying parts of the encounter. The other senses then turn up the volume. I love to passionately kiss. Escorts, like AndrewD and Tyger, who are master kissers move to the front of the line. I love to stare eyeball to eyeball while kissing. That often develops the "connection" for me that carries on through out the rest of the encounter.

Oddly enough, when I'm a sub in bondage play, I've discovered that I like to be blindfolded. That tends to make me focus on the guys voice and all the other senses and reduces distractions. But there is still a sudo-visual playing on the inside of my eye lids.

So, for me, memories come flodding back in a very visual way and that helps me recall all the other senses that go with the encounter - and thank god for mirrors - LOL!

[Epigonos]

Doitb4ugo I find that I can directly relate to your posting. My guess is that we are “about” the same age. I spent my entire professional life, in the closet, using gay porn as my principle sexual stimulate. There was just me and the screen – an almost totally visual experience. I scrupulously schooled myself NOT to touch another man erotically.

 

Once I retired and begin the process of hiring escorts that all changed. I found and continue to find, even now, after seven plus years of hiring guys the joyous experience of being able to touch another guy in places I never before dreamed I might do an incredible turn on. Stroking the inside of a man’s thigh, softly touching the area between a man navel and public hair, running my hands slowly over a man’s well developed chest while playing with his nipples and gently rubbing a man’s back can and does sent me to nirvana. These highly erotic tactile experiences are what set me up what for me, at least, is the ultimate sexual experience – mutual slow and sensuous cock sucking.

 

Nowadays the visual ADDS to the total experience it is just NO longer the whole experience. I love watching my cock slide in an out of a sexy man’s mouth as he looks into my eyes. I love watching the smile grown on the face of a sexy stud as I play with his well developed body.

 

Damn in the end I would have to agree that it is the combination of enjoying the overloading of all the five senses while experiencing the joy of a young, handsome, well built young body that make gay sex the absolute delight of my life

[+ Charlie]

I consider myself primarily a visual person, turned on by looking at faces and bodies, yet my strongest single memory of an escort experience is of the aroma of Eric Ryan, a porn star of the 1980s whom I hired in 1987. He had just finished a workout, and he had the most masculine natural odor I have ever smelled; I came automatically just being embraced by him.

[doitb4ugo]

Doitb4ugo I find that I can directly relate to your posting. My guess is that we are “about” the same age. I spent my entire professional life, in the closet, using gay porn as my principle sexual stimulate. There was just me and the screen – an almost totally visual experience. I scrupulously schooled myself NOT to touch another man erotically.

 

...........................................

 

Damn in the end I would have to agree that it is the combination of enjoying the overloading of all the five senses while experiencing the joy of a young, handsome, well built young body that make gay sex the absolute delight of my life

 

Thanks...I'm hoping to grow my sensuality to that point of combining my various senses. I'm working on arranging situations where I can slowly take in the visual without other things pushing me back to my non-visual comfort zone....

[justaguy]

Yes

 

Damn in the end I would have to agree that it is the combination of enjoying the overloading of all the five senses while experiencing the joy of a young, handsome, well built young body that make gay sex the absolute delight of my life

 

I couldn't have said it better. At any given time I'll remember this detail or that, but it's the overall sensation of the moment that sticks with me.

[AdamSmith]

Agree that Epigonos nailed it -- "the overloading of all the five senses..." in the moment.

 

But after, what triggers "recollection in tranquility" or the madeleine moment for me is smell above all. Aroma of Lorna Doone cookies still transports me back to kindergarten, where we had 'em with milk each mid-morning -- open a package of them and I am right back in the room, with the teacher, the other kids who sat at our little worktable, funny little pots of flour-paste for craft play, one guy who was such a pest that the teacher once tied him to his chair with a jump rope...

 

And not just ancient memories. Fast forward to an escort who stayed with me a couple of nights earlier this year. He left behind a bottle of face scrub, whose scent still conjures to electric life all the memories of the visit.

[dapurplebear]

Hot smells drive me crazy -- I have a good sniffer and when some one has on cologne (especially if they are at all interesting to me) - I am a puddle of horniness --

 

Unfortunately on the flip-side - smells unpleasant to me - kill everything except a disdain and resentment towards the individual -- "why are you subjecting me to this? have you no sense of how your action effect others??!!"

 

...ahh -- let me focus on the smell of the guy I am infatuated with right now instead -- mmm -- he tastes amazing too... hoping that later today we get tooo.... sorry I digress...

[Guest Spanky]

However, I have found that slapping a well muscled ass can have me hard as a rock after two strokes, with the right recepient. It is not the sound of the hand crashing against ass alone, but that sound, plus the deep voiced grunt or groan that gets me going. Add in the sight of his hard red ass and the sting in my palm after a good slapping and man I am ready to go.

 

Holy Purple Kow is right. To add to the tactile experience of a spanking, put the guy across your knees. Chances are his cock will be hard as a rock, and you can grab it between your thighs and feel it moving up and down between your legs as you pound his ass and he wiggles and squirms. I love this position. I can feel the torment of the guy squirming underneath me, struggling to get free, trying to get away before he finally accepts his fate and just gives up. I find that NOT allowing a guy to talk in this position is incredibly hot. Let him cry, moan, and - eventually - sob, but don't let him talk - it will focus his mind and help him to submit, which ultimately will enable him to enjoy the experience that much more. And you get not only that delicious feel of him squirming but also get to hear his muffled sobs. SO HOT. But remember guys, scenes like this are only hot if it's all done with mutual consent..

 

Now, being over someone's knee is hot as well. The dual sensation of your hard cock gyrating between the top's thighs and his hand (or paddle, strap, whatever) pummeling your bare butt. That's a feeling that stays with you a long time. When I bottom, I also find that a cuddling session after a heavy spanking is an incredibly tactile experience and one that I truly crave. Your ass is crimson and still smarting but you're wrapped in the big guy's arms being gently caressed. Sigh. Is there anything better?

 

Oh wait, I forgot. Sometimes, it can be a great experience for the spankee if you run some ice cubes on his hot butt after you paddle him. Stay away from the hot wax at this point though - Yowza!

 

Geez, maybe I should have put this in the fetish forum?!

[doitb4ugo]

Whew!!

 

Holy Purple Kow is right. To add to the tactile experience of a spanking, put the guy across your knees. Chances are his cock will be hard as a rock, and you can grab it between your thighs and feel it moving up and down between your legs as you pound his ass and he wiggles and squirms. I love this position. I can feel the torment of the guy squirming underneath me, struggling to get free, trying to get away before he finally accepts his fate and just gives up. I find that NOT allowing a guy to talk in this position is incredibly hot. Let him cry, moan, and - eventually - sob, but don't let him talk - it will focus his mind and help him to submit, which ultimately will enable him to enjoy the experience that much more. And you get not only that delicious feel of him squirming but also get to hear his muffled sobs. SO HOT. But remember guys, scenes like this are only hot if it's all done with mutual consent..

 

Now, being over someone's knee is hot as well. The dual sensation of your hard cock gyrating between the top's thighs and his hand (or paddle, strap, whatever) pummeling your bare butt. That's a feeling that stays with you a long time. When I bottom, I also find that a cuddling session after a heavy spanking is an incredibly tactile experience and one that I truly crave. Your ass is crimson and still smarting but you're wrapped in the big guy's arms being gently caressed. Sigh. Is there anything better?

 

Oh wait, I forgot. Sometimes, it can be a great experience for the spankee if you run some ice cubes on his hot butt after you paddle him. Stay away from the hot wax at this point though - Yowza!

 

Geez, maybe I should have put this in the fetish forum?!

 

Good Grief, Spanky...After reading that, you may need to put me in the Fetish Forum.....Maybe I got to put a bit of that on my wish-list.

[KMEM]

Agree that Epigonos nailed it -- "the overloading of all the five senses..." in the moment.

 

But after, what triggers "recollection in tranquility" or the madeleine moment for me is smell above all. Aroma of Lorna Doone cookies still transports me back to kindergarten, where we had 'em with milk each mid-morning -- open a package of them and I am right back in the room, with the teacher, the other kids who sat at our little worktable, funny little pots of flour-paste for craft play, one guy who was such a pest that the teacher once tied him to his chair with a jump rope...

 

And not just ancient memories. Fast forward to an escort who stayed with me a couple of nights earlier this year. He left behind a bottle of face scrub, whose scent still conjures to electric life all the memories of the visit.

 

What happened to the escort who tied you to the chair with a jump rope?

 

Just kidding.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Guest Spanky]

What happened to the escort who tied you to the chair with a jump rope?

 

Just kidding.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

 

KMEM - don't kid around about a scene like that. That's a wet dream come true for some of us here!

[AdamSmith]

What happened to the escort who tied you to the chair with a jump rope?

 

Did not see the draw of that until the 2nd grade...alas!

[KMEM]

Are you a slow learner?

 

Best regards,

KMEM