TAKE BACK THE SITE!!

[ad rian]

>If that makes you think twice about what you post, well

>good. It's supposed to.

>

>(And this is not specifically addressed to you, Ad, it's a

>general comment to all.)

 

With the greatest of respect Deej, and I hope yoiu will take this as constructive criticism, as a novice here, I often find your tone to be over the top. I guess that's why I think that it will be very hard to do this in a fair way. All that will happen is that some folks' sacred cows will be let in, and others will not. I repeat again, I don't understand your need to enter the fray on the Jizz thread. If you didn't, it would have died off. Ditto for my posts about Israeli branding and the response from the guy in DC. I sincerely hope you will abandon this idea.

[Rick Munroe]

I'm hereby proposing we commit "online murder." Let's kill off the nastiness; it's really easy. Just don't respond to ugly posts that aren't intended to educate, titillate or open a civil discussion (whether it's politics, literature or who's got the biggest, juiciest, hardest cock). I'm by no means saying this site should be all fluff, but, as Oprah would say, the negativity is killing our spirit.

 

Chrismac posted this to me in another thread:

 

For those who hire escorts, the reviews here are invaluable - but the nastiness, for me, became a waste of time for me, and it generally got me down. You, and many others have always been a bright spot here - but lately the positive messages have almost disappeared here.

 

Guys, we can't let one more person leave this site because it's a depressing place. This should be our home; of course you fight with your family or roommates but you generally have enough compassion or common sense not to let it get too vicious, hurtful & pointless. It can be that way here. Let's express our views freely but not with the intent to make others feel bad. Starting right now, don't respond to the "downers" of the site, even if they personally attack you. Then they're as good as dead.

 

We should also be encouraging anyone we know who is funny, horny, inquisitive, interesting or interested to join the message center. There's strength in numbers and it's time we outnumbered the creeps once and for all.

[Houston Bonfires]

As for me Mr. Munroe a visit to the Munroe Monument has been a necessary daily visit for a long time. I anticipate seeing it up close and personal some day but until then photographically is as good as it gets.

Negativity breeds negativity so I agree with you and will join the campaign proudly.

You got the best ass in North America and I proudly salute it and you.

How about a visit to Houston soon so you can experience a different sort of sizzle?

 

H B;-)

[+ deej]

Good advice, Rick.

 

And I'll also remind everyone that the negative posters are COMING INTO YOUR HOME. If you encourage them by responding, you're inviting hate into your home.

 

I like this grass-roots approach. It's far better than us imposing mandatory profiles before allowing posting!

[chrismac]

Bravo. Count me in! :*

[Guest bottomboykk]

>I like this grass-roots approach.

 

I like it, too. While I've never initiated a negative posting, I have responded very negatively to certain posters who raised my ire. I'm going to do my best not to contribute any more negativity here.

[+ deej]

I liked your suggestion in the moderators forum, too. I hope it doesn't come to that, but it would handily solve the problem.

[marc anthony]

Rick: That's what I've been doing for the past couple of months, and it has really added to my enjoyment of this site. Good advice to all.

[Rick Munroe]

>While I've never initiated a negative

>posting, I have responded very negatively to certain posters

>who raised my ire. I'm going to do my best not to contribute

>any more negativity here.

 

Very cool...that's probably true for a lot of us but just like you, we can really make an effort to make sure the negativity ends. And again, I'm not suggesting that we can't disagree. We need arguments to learn & to keep it entertaining; we just don't need the personal attacks & useless bitchiness.

[Guest Les]

Shove it! :7

[Rick Munroe]

>And I'll also remind everyone that the negative posters are

>COMING INTO YOUR HOME. If you encourage them by responding,

>you're inviting hate into your home.

 

I never thought of it that way; that is so true.

 

Dr. Phil would be so proud of you, deej. :*

[ad rian]

>I liked your suggestion in the moderators forum, too. I hope

>it doesn't come to that, but it would handily solve the

>problem.

 

What suggestion was that? Censorship?

[Guest Derek Ross]

Here's my suggestion. If someone posts a personal attack or something ugly with no constructive purpose other than to make someone angry or feel bad, one or many of us should reply with a smiley. That's it; no words needed.

[+ deej]

>>I liked your suggestion in the moderators forum, too. I hope

>>it doesn't come to that, but it would handily solve the

>>problem.

>

>What suggestion was that? Censorship?

 

You might say that. He just proposed enforcing the rules as posted. (Have YOU read them lately?) We're looking at a lot of options. If the place cleans itself up, we won't have to exercise any of those options.

 

It's really not up to us. It's up to you, and you, and you and you and you.

 

(Oh hell! Now I'll have THAT soundtrack in my head all night!)

[chrismac]

>Here's my suggestion. If someone posts a personal attack or

>something ugly with no constructive purpose other than to

>make someone angry or feel bad, one or many of us should

>reply with a smiley. That's it; no words needed.

 

Good suggestion. "Operation Smiley!" :-)

[ad rian]

>You might say that. He just proposed enforcing the rules as

>posted. (Have YOU read them lately?) We're looking at a lot

>of options. If the place cleans itself up, we won't have to

>exercise any of those options.

>

Some of the recent posts have been excessive, I agree. I don't understand the exchange about Jizz's suicide, but then again I don't recall his thread about homeless youth. One thing that is clear to me is that the tone of both sides is inappropriate. I think with a board like this either everything has to be in, or out. Deciding what is offensive is a very subjective thing. If people are offended by a particular line, why can't they just ignore it? Also, I like some of the witty exchanges, but sometimes they seem pretty childish to me. I think some of the recent exchanges here have been quite helpful to me. I hope they will continue. As with inappropriate content and tone, I also find that some commentators shift back and forth from wit to serious exchanges. Who will decide all of this. If you do go the route of censorship, you might loose more than you gain.

[+ deej]

>Who will decide all of this. If you do

>go the route of censorship, you might loose more than you

>gain.

 

That's why I said originally I hope it doesn't come to pass. (And I meant it!)

 

I'd like to see the community police itself better than it is now. But if it comes down to a matter of personal attacks being cause for moderation, well, moderators will decide what to let through and some who consider themselves "sacred cows" may find themselves "moderated sacred cows".

 

If you don't like that rule, go elsewhere. We're not really enforcing it now, but we could. It only takes a few mouse clicks.

 

If that makes you think twice about what you post, well good. It's supposed to.

 

(And this is not specifically addressed to you, Ad, it's a general comment to all.)

[bluenix]

>If that makes you think twice about what you post, well

>good. It's supposed to. (And this is not specifically addressed to you, Ad, it's a general comment to all.)

 

Deej, have you ever been in a staff meeting where some boss takes everybody to the proverbial woodshed because of one or two offenders? It's irritating. Chastize those whom you loveth, and leave the rest the fucketh alone.

:7

[+ deej]

I do take your post as constructive criticism, ad. I truly do.

 

You don't see my inbox or HooBoy's or the other moderators'.

 

Guys are SICK TO DEATH of the crap going on around here and they EXPECT us to do something.

 

It's sorta amazing what guys will EXPECT from a site they don't pay for, eh?

 

I see others have started threads trying to improve the place. That's a good sign. We may have to do nothing at all.

 

But we will do SOMETHING if it's necessary.

 

If YOU think that YOU need to worry, well, only YOU caused it. (Frankly, you don't need to worry.)

 

If anyone else gets worried, it wasn't ME that made them post what they did.

[+ deej]

OK, blu...

 

SMACK

 

SMACK

 

SMACK

 

(feel better baby? }> )

[duke37]

Great idea Rick!

 

I have been thinking somewhat along the same lines and am glad you took the initiative.

 

As I have posted elsewhere there are certain common charecteristics to the authors of some of the most inflammatory posts. As a rule they lurk in the background and just pop out to throw a grenade to get something started. They rarely if at all particiapte in non-hostile threads. Some may create new ids here just to spread the "love". Others use a amazing amount of energy to research details of posters on this board and attempt to use the information that we posted as a way to honestly communicate as a weapon to bludgeon others for their own (I assume) amusement.

 

There is also something you wont see from the spoilers any personal information on themselves. Not the things we shouldn't share with strangers on an internet board but rather details of what makes them tick what makes them horny and what has happened in their lives to get them to this place. They probably don't have anything in their profile. To have a profile might be a weapon in the hands of people like them. And they won't mention guys they have reviewed. I am amazing no one to say that the reviews of escorts (the point of the site) tell almost as much about the reviewer. And they will rarely offer any insight into their lives or what makes them tick.

 

Sometimes we will have sharp funny people who stray over the line. Truth Teller is a commonly cited example. However he actively reviewed escorts and told you things about himself. I can think of few people who revealed what turned him on as honestly (or as provocatively) as TruthTeller. Did he cross the line occasionally? Sure but see the difference between him and say Miguel?

 

If we want this message board to be of value to us we ought to take a stand about the conduct we think is unacceptable. There are some great ideas here. C'mon guys lets use them! We can socially engineer this place to something better!

 

Oh yeah side benefit. If we do it HooBoy and the moderators don't have to, and when they do, it never seems to go well.:-)

 

Jeff

[Guest LG320126]

OK - my contribution to peace in the family! I have in the past made some unkind remarks to and about Franco DiSantis, no personal attacks mind you, but unkind nonetheless. I hereby publicly apologize to Franco and will attempt to take your words to heart Rick. By the way, you are one of the posters here who I admire most due your posts generally being humorous and rarely, if ever, causing any undue stress on anybody else. Keep up the good work(along with other things). }>

[+ Lucky]

RE: TAKE BACK THE bullshit!!

 

It is just crap for people like deej to say that those who don't pay for the site have no rights as to what happens with the sight.

The contributions of the reviewers are the essence of the site, the posters are the essence of the message board. Without these contributions, deej and hooboy would just be talking to each other on the net. There would be no site here without the contributors.

Then why shouldn't they have a say as to what hepppens here?

That said, Rick can now get naked.....

[Will]

Only once that I remember have I disagreed with Rick Munroe about the goings-on here, and that concerned Truth Teller. So I'm happy to be able to say that I fully support Rick's plea in this thread.

 

Although I have never initiated a thread intended to be critical of or hostile towards anyone, from time to time I have lost my temper on-line. Having just experienced HooBoy's own loss of temper over a post of mine, of which he read only the first paragraph, I can now understand how my target must have felt, and I am sorry for it.

 

For what it's worth, I can pass on a couple of rules-of-thumb that I've adopted as guides for my own participation. Maybe they'll be helpful for others, maybe not:

 

1. I do not respond to a post unless I have read the whole thing several times, carefully, and have formulated in my mind the jist of what I want to say in my own post.

 

2. Having written it, I read it again and again, using the "preview" option, until I make sure that it says what I mean it to say.

 

3. I have a list of frequent participants here whose posts I read only quickly, if at all. It's my experience that these people fall into two groups. One group is composed of venomous, bloody-minded, hateful men who take pleasure in inflicting pain on others, usually in the name of "common sense" and "rational thought." The other group is composed of adolescent (whatever their chronological ages may be) narcissists who think that they are the Duchess of Windsor. When I see a name in either of these categories, I rarely read the post at all. And if one of them has begun a thread, I skip it altogether.

 

4. When I get a response to one of my own posts from one of the members of the two groups just mentioned, I never respond to it. In fact, I frequently don't even read it.

 

Most important, I try to remember that what is interesting to me on this site are both the ideas and the people. Ideas are subject to debate, to argument, and to heated discussion. The sensitivities of human beings are not. I have never met a truly well-adjusted gay man over the age of forty-five; most of the gay men I know under forty-five carry some heavy baggage as well. In no case did one of these difficult men choose the burdens that his being gay put on his shoulders. If the same is true of me, why should I not assume that the same is true of others? Why would I want to say to another gay man what I would never want a gay man to say to me???

[duke37]

Will,

 

Thanks for the advice. I will try and take it to heart.

 

Oh yeah got any tips on how a 38 yr old guy like me can meet a smart classy guy like yourself? grin.

 

Jeff