Two camps at the M4M message board

[phage]

I know that people post to message boards for as many reasons as there are people, but ever since I’ve been reading this board, I’ve noticed there are two fairly distinct “camps.” There are the guys who seem to be looking for a serious exchange of ideas, and those who are only looking for some fun. (Okay, there is a third type who simply wants information about hot guys, but they’re in and out pretty quickly.)

 

The “serious” guys tend to latch onto threads that are topical or controversial. Their posts are longer and they enjoy debating (hell…arguing) miniscule details and pushing people’s buttons. They can be aggressive, condescending, and cranky; but are generally pretty rational, straight shooters. These are the type of guys you hire at the firm.

 

The “fun” guys are full of inane one liners. Often amusing, but just as often off topic and not really adding anything to the discussion at hand. (I’m showing my bias here.) They are generally happy, easygoing, and rarely cranky. These are the guys you invite to a cocktail party.

 

There are notable exceptions. A few of the serious guys manage to be extremely thoughtful and yet are always kind and compassionate…a few of the fun guys can get very shrill when their not-easily-ruffled feathers are plucked…but basically posters seem to hold true to form.

 

My point? I’m obviously part of the serious tribe…sorry that’s ‘Survivor’…serious camp. I find myself weighing in on topics that I truly don’t care about just to have a meaningful exchange, and after just a few weeks of posting, I really don’t care if someone gets pissed off as long as it provokes an intelligent response. I’m not purposely turning to the ‘Dark Side’, but what’s a serious guy to do?

 

What has kept some of you long time posters – from either camp – coming back for more? What are some of the newer posters looking for?

[Guest cmp]

Thanks for the interesting post. I am looking forward to reading everyone's input. Personally I feel I belong to both camps. I may feel serious now and frivolous 10 minutes later, throwing in a silly or slightly funny one-liner. I respect and enjoy views which are different from mine, provided they pass a minimal sanity test. This means I can enjoy reading the views of practically everyone here.

[Guest BenDover]

Wow. You do have your finger on the pulse of the board. I like to consider myself in both camps, enjoying the silly and inane frivolity of the banter, but also the very thought provoking and sometimes disturbing exchanges. I tire quickly of the personal, cat-fighting and name-calling and just wish others would ignore what is obviously a provocation.

I'm not sure how long I've been participating at this site, but I have come to experience many of the guys on this board as friends. That may be delusional, but there aren't a lot of guys I personally know with whom I can discuss good rimming technique, baseball, female commedians, and ball-shaving.

For so long, I felt as though I was some kind of pervert or over-sexed near-criminal. Here at M4M, perhaps I have just found a group of fellow-pervs, but I don't think so. I feel as though my self-esteem has risen, my confidence in who I am and the choices I make has increased, and I'm having fun.

Fun. That's a big part of it. I work really hard at my job, at my friendships, at my relationship, in my community. I am always asking myself what I believe are the important questions in life, always trying to live as authentically as I can. This site offers me an opportunity to just kick back a bit, relax, let myself believe that not all of life is so serious.

I'm not meaning this as a diss at all toward you and your more serious perspectives. As I think you know, I am deeply appreciative of some of your most recent posts. And that is what makes this board so incredibly enjoyable and valuable to me. I laugh at some of the stuff some of the boys say, giggle and get horny whenever Rick Munroe says just about anything, drool every time ZachDC posts because I have to look at his picture again and again and just imagine how luscious he must be. I am titillated by Matt Vancouver, elevated by Jason Reardone and Jeff of Ohio. I feel honored anytime Will or Deej address one of my posts personally.

I just like it here. And I like the guys who I get to play with for a few hours a day on the site. Hooboy, thanks a million. And Phage, keep doing what you do best, its truly appreciated.

[Traveller]

Could someone please send me an executive summary of phage's initial post. I just have enough time to either trim my bush for tonight's date with Rick or I can read all of those paragraphs and words and things like that. Thanks so much.

 

Later.

 

PS. DickHo, check out Marco from rentboy. One of the newer tall, big dicked arrivals in NYC. Big fun. You tried Paolo yet? Ronaldo was also big fun. A Brazilian phase.

[BuckyXTC]

Rather than picturing the message center as being comprised of two camps, I see two circles that overlap each other, with me being somewhere in the overlap. While I know my "place" is essentially in the more serious camp, at times I feel lighthearted and frivolous and want to play. I'm glad that this thread was started, because it will indeed be interesting to hear what the various folks will have to say about why they post, etc.

 

Thanks for giving us a new thread to ponder.

[Guest DickHo]

"It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time."

 

Tallulah

[Guest regulation]

I tend to participate in the more serious threads not because I don't enjoy humor but because I don't find the humor on this board to be particularly humorous. Most of the jokes I see here remind me of the things I thought were funny many years ago when sex was still a novelty to me. Eventually one grows out of that, or at least some of us do.

 

The more serious threads often turn nasty because many posters lack the emotional maturity to disagree about issues without engaging in personal attacks on those on the other side of the discussion. An example is the way Phage was treated in the recent thread on stalking. I for one don't mind firing back at people who attack me, since the alternative is to leave every discussion to the most loutish and immature members of the group, but if personal attacks disappeared from the board it would be fine with me.

 

 

I think there is another division among regular posters, and that is the division between those who see this site as a resource for consumers of escort services and those who see it as more of a fan site. Those two points of view are not compatible with each other. A consumer starts out with the attitude that many if not all sellers are not honest about what they offer for sale. The whole point of sites that offer consumers the opinions of other consumers like this site, epinions.com and zagat.com, is to create a situation in which consumers need not rely on what they are told by sellers in order to make a decision. Fans, on the other hand, want to enjoy an image of the seller or his product that is unsullied by criticism, and they often react negatively to people who offer such criticism. This division is the real source of many of the more heated arguments here.

[Traveller]

Reg,

 

As a side note, I'd just like to thank you for resurrecting the term "whoremonger" in one of your ratings. Very good.

 

Later.

[Rick Munroe]

>I find myself weighing in

>on topics that I truly don’t care about just to have a

>meaningful exchange

 

Me too, but I do it because that little pic of my ass shows up each time.

[Rick Munroe]

<----There it is again.

[Rick Munroe]

<----And again. Somebody eat me before I post again.

[Guest jeffOH]

Apparently Hell has frozen over and I find myself in agreement with

one point of Regulation's post. I find my eyes glazing over when I read yet another "humorous" post regarding sex that I may have found to be humorous in high school. It's just not my thing, but others do

seem to find these things endlessly funny and I suppose there's no harm in it.

 

I enjoy discussing the issues, but I don't like it when some posters

appear to take great delight in provoking others for the hell of it.

In my mind, such behavior just undermines their credibility. There are a few who are totally exasperating because they appear to want to

argue just for the sake of arguing, not because they really care about the issue at hand. They copy, paste and dissect every word

and read things into what someone said to keep the argument going.

 

I agree with Bucky re: the overlapping circles. I would rather not argue and bicker, but if someone attacks or maligns me you can bet I'll speak up about it. It has never been my goal to be Escort of the

Year or get the most ratings points. I see my image as an escort to

be separate from the message board. My reviews are about Jeff the Escort and my comments on here are totally unrelated to my job

performance.

 

Jeff4hire@aol.com

[Guest jeffOH]

><----And again. Somebody eat me before I post again.

 

Rick,

 

This is the juvenile type of humor I don't usually find funny, but that ass is talking to me. All I can hear is "EAT ME"! Yum! Yum!:9

 

Jeff4hire@aol.com

[phage]

><----And again. Somebody eat me before I post again.

 

You are the King of Inane (and Joey C. would be your prince) but you both make me smile every time. ;-) Now go away...this is a "serious" topic.

[Guest WetDream]

Phage wasn't it Somerset Maughm that said one man's truth is another man's truism?

[Will]

It's just past 6:30 on Monday evening. I got home a few minutes ago, fed the dogs, and put the garbage out at the curb for tomorrow morning's collection. Then I turned on the computer, and while it was firing up I put dinner on the stove to warm. As I pulled my chair up to the keyboard and Steel, one of my three Standard Schnauzers, was winding up into a ball at my feet, I said, "Well, buddy, let's see what the boys have gotten themselves up to today."

 

And the first thing I see is this thread!

 

BenDover took the words right out of my mouth. I come here because for my whole life I've felt like a sex-freak of sorts; and because of my life's circumstances I've never been able to live near a large community of gay men. All the other boards I've tried are boring, because the chat is just that -- inane chatter. Here, on the other hand, I encounter a large number of men who are, as a group, without any doubt the most intelligent, articulate, and courageous gay people I've ever encountered.

 

It just so happens that I don't get my ego involved here -- I don't know why that it is so, but I'm not complaining. Among other things, that means that I don't jump into the fights and I rarely snap back. That's not because I'm virtuous (I'm not). But in my professional life I have to deal with real-live thin-skinned people all day every day, and I just can't take any more of it when I'm at home. Besides, for the most part even the cat fights on M4M are as it were en famille.

 

The other day I decided to see what these points and stars and ratings are all about, and I discovered that somebody considers me so boring that he gave me a -2 rating and wrote something like "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" in the comment box. So that lets me know, if I had any doubt, that I'm in the "serious" group. But I don't see why "fun" and "serious" are mutually exclusive. If it weren't fun to check in here, I wouldn't. If it weren't fun to read and post, I wouldn't. If it weren't fun to hire escorts, I wouldn't.

 

For most of my adult life, sex was "serious" -- in the sense opposite to "fun" -- because it was scary. It's not scary any more and therefore it's fun, which is what it was designed to be.

 

How did I stop being afraid? Much of it I did right here on M4M. But my real heroes are the escorts I've met here, especially Rick Munroe, Gino Mancuso, and JeffOH. Nobody will ever know how much I owe them. In fact, it's hard for me to imagine how impoverished my life would be if it weren't for HooBoy and this site.

 

That's why I come here: You enhance my life. All of you.

[Guest regulation]

Trav,

 

You're quite welcome. I prefer the term "whoremaster," but I felt it might be misinterpreted.

 

R.

[marc anthony]

I actually am a pretty serious guy with a lot of major responsibilities in real life. So after a day in board rooms and philosophical/pragmatic discussions with tons of other serious guys, and decision making that affects other peoples' careers and personal lives, forgive me if I come to this message board mainly to talk about escorts, sex, and personal enjoyment. I guess I am in the camp that does NOT participate much in very serious or controversial issues. But I resent the implication that it because I am in some way shallow or flaky... it is just we all use this board for different purposes. I have no one else in my closet to talk about the cute twinks from Campus, or the best young bottoms in the US... so I do it here. I get into enough pissing matches over enough weighty issues to indulge in more of it here! So forgive me for using this board sheerly for entertainment! :9

[Matt_Vancouver]

*innane one liner camp speaks*

 

"fluffiness is what gets you through the day"

 

matt(fluff with no substance)

[Matt_Vancouver]

*serious camp*

 

I come here and continue to post....cuz I enjoy it. Plain and simple.

I like the exchange of ideas, I like the titilation(ewwwww) I like some of the people, I even like the bitchiness and catiness.

 

Matt(substance with fluff)

[Guest cmp]

Silly jokes may be lame, but they are certainly harmless. I can't find any major reason for objection against them. Sometimes they may even be useful, as a tension-breaker. There are a few cute bad boys here whose silly jokes are giving me a big smile every time and I want them to please go ahead with their gratuitious teasing. Some of us are still immature kids deep down in our hearts and we still like to be teased. Let's give our jokers some leeway.

[Godiva]

I post my topics like I post my men men Versitale:9 didn't Mae West say that??? There are many sides to me..Semi Sweet, Dark, Crunchy, Creamy etc..:-)

 

Post where you feel you can contribute while enjoying and repecting the contributions of others.

 

 

 

Joe Mama

Godiva

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

In the beginning I came to this site solely for the reviews. I returned often to check them for various cities that I traveled at that time, building up a list of prospects. Over a couple of months I may have checked the message center briefly, at most a couple of times. I was a newbie in several ways and didn’t have the comfort level to post, or much interest to be honest, in the message center – I was on a mission and it wasn’t posting. That changed one evening when I stumbled on to a thread ‘What Does It Mean to be Gay’ -- an interesting exchange unfolded between two gentlemen identified as Will and Skeptic. I was amazed to find serious discussion by thoughtful men about interesting topics in this forum – I was hooked. I wasn’t moved to actively participate though until two separate threads appeared: one bringing up the possibility of trashing older reviews based on storage and latency issues, and the other which questioned HooBoy’s stewardship of this site. I jumped in with both feet and on the latter post, while I did intend to take definite exception to the lead post, I didn’t realize that I was crossing swords at the time.

 

So I plead guilty to coming for the serious discussion by serious people. I also come for instruction by Traveller in the Mysterious Ways – mysterious to me anyway. :-) Never has receiving an education been so effectively short and sweet, and entertaining. If only my students of the distant past had experienced half the joy of learning. And there is much other good humor to partake of by contributors including some of our Escorts in Residence.

 

I offer very little humor in my posts because my sense of humor tends to the dark or has an edge to it – a type not best presented in this medium but rather delivered face-to-face between two individuals who know each other well enough to know what is intended and what is not. There are two contributors who have had the (dubious) pleasure of experiencing my edge – one got into the swing of it immediately and gave every bit as good as he got – what I seek because ‘life is interactive’. The other was distracted at the time and thus disoriented -- I’m not sure how he took it but I’ll find out the next time.

 

What I don’t come for is rude and bullying behavior, and worse those few who spiral totally out of control before they crash and burn, all of which this site is not without. Early on I took umbrage at what I perceived as rude and bullying behavior and responded first in a reasoned way, as I saw it, and when that failed I took my gloves off too. I learned that that tack almost never worked to resolve the issue and also that, on occasion, my perception of the offense may have been a misinterpretation of what was intended, just as I believe that happened on the other side as well. Now, when moved to respond I seek to elicit clarification on the differing point of view and, if warranted, to shine a little light on that clarified view.

 

At this point I rarely consult the reviews – scanning the new reviews only for those I have in which I have a continuing interest or those that are local prospects – unless I’m planning travel to uncharted territory ;-) . To paraphrase Will from above – this site enhances my life and you, the contributors, are the source of that enhancement. And to paraphrase Will from a post of the past -- while the quality and temperament of the posts vary, I come for the best that that site has to offer – and that is much better than very good.

[phage]

Marc,

 

I’m sorry you inferred that I thought the “fun” guys were shallow or flaky. I actually envy the fun guy’s light heartedness. It takes wit and humor that I just don’t possess, so I admire it in others.

 

There is obviously no right or wrong reason for posting here. (Your focus is certainly more true to the subject of the board than mine.) Although I don’t share your passion for those “barely legal” boys, I thoroughly enjoy your escapades and would miss your posts very much.

 

Phage

[marc anthony]

Phage: No offense taken. My rather terse reply yesterday was after one of those especially infuriating days of too much seriousness in my real "day" job! Probably another reason why I like those twinky "barely legal" boys as you put it. They are far too innocent and wide-eyed to be cantankerous yet!