Escort warning: Paul a.k.a. hansummuscle36 currently in Pittsburgh

[steve]

He is headed to Cleveland, Chicago and Indianapolis over the next 6 weeks. This guy really has no business escorting.

 

http://www.daddysreviews.com/finder.php?loc=paul-0-8-10&who=paul_sf

 

I was supposed to have a meeting with him this evening, however, he cancelled 10 minutes after we agreed on a price, place and time during a phone conversation. To give you an idea, when we spoke last night, I explained to him that I was looking for an aggressive top. During the time we were talking, he told me it wouldn't be a problem and that he was an aggressive top.

 

About 10 minutes after we spoke, he sent me a confusing text message that we weren't a match and good luck. That confused me because it was more appropriate for an on-line hook up and not an escort cancelling on a client. I sent him a follow up email asking for clarification and he said he wasn't the power top I was looking for. My reply was that I was confused, because he said he was an aggressive top and that it wasn't a problem.

 

After about 12 hours, and not getting a response, I wrote him another email expressing my disappointment because this could have been cleared up long before last night (he doesn't want to initiate conversation until 1 day before a meeting and wants to do everything as late as possible) because we had numerous escorts in town for Pride this past weekend and I could have hired one of those guys instead.

 

I was also disappointed that he chose not speak to me in person, but rather send a text message. Maybe I'm just too old school, but whenever I have to cancel an appointment with someone, I do it in person as a courtesy. I tried to impress that upon him and this was his response to me:

 

----- Original Message ----

From: "HandsuMuscleComp@aol.com" <HandsuMuscleComp@aol.com>

To: xxxxxxxxxxx

Sent: Wednesday, June 25, 2008 1:00:04 PM

Subject: Re: Fw: Pittsburgh

 

Whooah:

I didn't know one hour of meaningless sex could mean this much to somebody. Relax guy. With the laundry list of likes and dislikes you had unlike I have never heard and I've seen a ton of people I just felt that I wasn't exactly what you were looking for. I thought the conversation over after we hung up and just felt like you were really into getting fucked long and hard. I usually start things off with a back rub, it seems to be a great segue, it's not something you're into. You like to get right to it. That's not how I operate. Yes I can top and pretty well I think but the get naked right away and get right to it doesn't work for me. I'm not into topping for long periods of time -it's just not my thing. The conversatiion we had was the longest I've ever had with a john. People who are really demanding give me performance anxiety. It's wayyy better for me to avoid seeing you than to get together and things not go to your liking. Yes I admit I shouldn't have said that I could be a super aggressive top but after I hung up and replayed all the things that were said I just felt we weren't a good match. As far as getting on the phone and discussing this.. we already had the longest conversation I've ever had with a John... my time is important to me I wasn't really looking to spend 10 or 15 more minutes on the phone with a situation that was going nowhere.

 

Paul

 

For the record, our conversation was exactly 9 minutes, 6 seconds and the "laundry list" of likes was that I'm oral and I like to please my partner. I was certainly not demanding.

 

I really took offense to his arrogant attitude in the email and most importantly, his referring to me as a "John", which I viewed as completely disrespectful. I was respectful to him the entire time. Had he called me instead of cancelling through a text, we could have clarified the issues and still kept the appointment.

 

One more point, I had even discussed hiring him for a second hour for $400, to which he refused.

 

To the board, am I crazy, or does this guy have some issues with escorting and clients in general? Also, I think this guy is a ticking time bomb and potential clients need to be aware of this. Should I put in a review, even though we never met? He has one review - very suspect. It's from a first time reviewer who is very vague and just talks about how great he is and no real details of the encounter.

 

Thoughts??

[Guest zipperzone]

He cancelled after reviewing your conversation and concluding it wasn't going to be a great match. Get over it!

 

Would you have preferred he was a no-show? Or even worse, kept the appointment and couldn't perform to your expectations?

 

I agree a phone call would have been more professional but at least he did let you know he wasn't going to keep the appointment. O think you were lucky, given the other possibilities.

 

Move on.........

[ariadne1880]

I'm with zipper on this one. Get over it. What more did you want from the guy? Meeting in person to cancel? That's not "old school." That's just plain C-R-A-Z-Y.

 

And I find the sharing of personal e-mail to be quite offensive. More offensive than canceling when an escort doesn't think he's a fit for you. And, you are a "john" so why is that offensive?

 

Seems like you have some major issues and the escort makes some good points.

 

Your $200 might be better spent on an hour with a shrink, not an escort.

[whipped guy]

Sounds like he did you a favor... everything usually happens for the best... I can understand your disappointment... especially when you were anticipating a hot hookup and then instead were "rejected"... Remember if the guy would not be into the scene then it probably would not have worked anyway… and I have been there an done that! Still, having an emotional downward spiral would be a normal human reaction... I know that you probably felt that you fell several hundred feet off a plateau... so I don't think you really need to seek therapy over it... Simply sounds like you are merely human...actually it sounds like the escort is human also…

 

Consequently, I don’t think any “major issues” are involved here...

 

In the final analysis it is a good thing for both of you to basically move on and go your separate ways…

[JT Brooklyn]

Totally Agree with all of the above...

 

Now that you have had the chance to "vent' over this situation.."Move On" and enjoy the fact you Lost No Money on this Deal! ;-)

 

P.S. I have in the past had to Cancel a Hookup with Paul. He had No Problem with it at his end either....

[steve]

You are correct, in that I was saved his fee of $250, but give me a break on the "shrink" comment.

 

Points of order:

 

I took offense to his arrogant tone and I was completely respectful of him throughout our conversation and emails. My time is no less valuable, but I do think I was owed an explanation to his sudden change of mind. Had he done that initially, I wouldn't be posting this. I think if an escort cancels, he should explain why, not leave it up to me to try and guess what is going on in his head. A simple phone call to me would have cleared the air and both parties would be mutually satisfied.

 

He also accused me of being very demanding, which I am anything but. I did not demand he suck me off or rim my ass or tie me up or piss all over me or have him dance in a monkey suit. All I asked was that he be somewhat aggressive, he stated "no problem". Hardly a demanding request. I'm sorry, I don't appreciate being accused of something I'm not especially when one party is trying to rationalize why they won't fulfill their end of the bargin.

 

Lastly, we could have avoided all of this a week ago when I had initiated an email. Point is, Pittsburgh doesn't have many escort options, this isn't NYC or LA, where you just call the next guy. I wouldn't have cared less if we arranged a meeting last week and then he sent me an email explaining his change of mind. I would have easily booked another guy this past weekend when we had 18 visiting escorts because of Pride. Which of course, have all moved on to other cities.

 

What bothered me the most was his lack of respect for me as an individual and potential client. Had he called me, I could have clarified some of his issues. I approach escorts in a business-like manner, I treat them with respect and expect to be treated the same in return.

 

The point of posting the email was to show his condescending tone and how he obviously views escorting and clients in general. The whole point of this forum and this site is to alert others to this type of attitude from an escort. I posted his email to me to show his condescending attitude toward a potential client. I certainly would never have contacted him had I known he was an arrogant prick who did not respect his potential client. And I'm certain there are others who hire escorts who think like me.

 

Escorts and clients mutually benefit from each other, there's no reason for either party to be disrespectful.

[Guest Ca Robert]

>I'm with zipper on this one. Get over it. What more did you

>want from the guy? Meeting in person to cancel? That's not

>"old school." That's just plain C-R-A-Z-Y.

>

>And I find the sharing of personal e-mail to be quite

>offensive. More offensive than canceling when an escort

>doesn't think he's a fit for you. And, you are a

>"john" so why is that offensive?

>

>Seems like you have some major issues and the escort makes

>some good points.

>

>Your $200 might be better spent on an hour with a shrink, not

>an escort.

 

I find your tone unacceptable and rude. The reviewer is talking about his experience trying to book an escort. He has a right to share his opinion. Frankly, I agree that the escort should have dealt more honestly with the client over the telephone.

 

There is a problem about clients being intimidated to share negative experiences with escorts. I don't think you're qualifed to determine if someone is in need of therapy, either.

 

Too often clients hold back on sharing negative reviews due to fear of retaliation by other posters.

 

By sharing negative experiences, it serves a dual purpose. It not only warns other clients about unacceptable behavior, but it also can help train the escort to realize this is a service industry.

[ariadne1880]

Uh, I missed the part where anyone -- including me -- said he didn't have a "right" to share an opinion. Can you point that out to me?

 

But with the "right" to share an opinion comes the "right" to expect feedback to that opinion. It's called more opinion.

 

Also, demanding "respect" from an escort you've never met seems pretty darn silly to me.

[Mouth]

I've viewed all the responses to this complaint, and I must say I agree with most of them. This was an encounter of mere minutes and not in person. Your aggressive tone and sense of entitlement would have put me off. These are casual encounters and over the years, I've learned to take them at face value. At least you were saved money on a disappointing encounter. I think it might have been better for your to spend your time looking for someone else and not dwell on this guy.

 

Move on indeed.

[Guest Ca Robert]

It seems silly to you to expect respect from an escort you've never met? What an idiotic thing to say. NO one needs feedback like yours.

[Guest dallastexas]

I agree with "whipped guy." It's human to feel disappointed after an experience similar to yours, but dwelling on this scenario really is not healthy.

 

In this instance, I don't think anyone was right or wrong,...it is what it is. It would be nice if everyone in this world treats each other with respect, but I don't think one is entitled to it, so quit demanding it.

 

I also don't think he was being condescending to you, you probed for an explanation and he was being clear to you on how he feels about it, from his point of view. Just because you don't like what you hear doesn't mean that his point of view is wrong.

 

I thought this escort did the right thing by disengaging. It would be nice if he called you to explain, rather than communicating that he's not interested via a text message. However, he doesn't have to, and again, you should quit demanding that other people do certain things a certain way. Escorts are human and they have the right to say they are not interested.

 

I hire when my piggy bank can afford it and my experience is that every escort is different. You have to realize that there isn't an academy that escort folks go to for this. Some escorts provide the worse communication service, but can be great performers when it most matters. Others have great business acumen and are mediocre when it comes to the actual sex.

 

It's great to share and provide feedback on an experience about an escort, but I don't think what this escort did constitute you stating things like "[t]his guy really has no business escorting" or that he's an "arrogant prick." That, to me, appears more disrespectful than his text and email to you.

 

I'm just calling this as I see it, since you asked for thoughts.

 

Disclaimer: I am neither an escort (yet, at least) or an interested party to the subject of this discussion.

[steve]

You are right and I did ask for feedback.

 

I should explain, this is the first time where I have been treated by an escort in such a dismissive manner. I say this because I am very easy going and have a very good rapport with escorts. I have become very good friends here with a popular escort and we often discuss behavior between both clients and escorts.

 

What has been left out, was that the escort made many assumptions, that were flat our wrong, that I believe he used as the basis for his rationalization for not meeting with me.

 

He stated that I was probably to jump right into and have an hour of sex and require him to fuck me hard for an hour. That is completely untrue and had he called me back, I would have told him so. Whenever I meet with an escort for the first time, I do like to have some general conversation, because it breaks the ice. It's not easy to just jump right into having sex with someone you don't know.

 

I'm not a robot and nor was I expecting him to be either.

 

I just didn't like the fact that he came to these conclusions and then excluded me from the process and didn't feel it warranted to further explanation. I guess I'm out of touch with how people do business these days. I really believe that more personalized communication is required when agreements are reached and then must be broken. I've always called an escort after I met with to personally tell him I enjoyed my meeting with him.

 

This probably has more to do with my marketing background.

 

In any case, given how he chose to make a decision based on misconceptions, then referring to me as a john, frustrated me, given that all I asked for was why. It wasn't until his last email that he did that. Up to that point it was like this, "we're done here and no need for me to explain why". That attitude and the "john" reference indicates to me he needs to learn some people skills.

 

I have been hiring escorts over 10 years now and have reviewed a lot of them on this site. I do think I'm entitled to express my opinion when I feel that an escort acts in a way that I find to be less than professional. I guess that is because I have come to experience high quality escorts who are complete professionals, that I expect that to be the norm.

 

Belive me, I've lost no sleep over this. :-) His loss became another escort's gain, to more than 3 times what Paul was asking for. Fortunately for me, Columbus, Ohio is only a few hours away.

 

Win-win for me, as I gladly took what I would have paid Paul and gave it to another escort.

[ariadne1880]

You obviously don't have more than a 3rd grade education. Anyone who thinks they should get respect from an escort they have never met is in serious need of either help or a reality check or both. Your inability to see that is the very thing which shows that you need help.

[ariadne1880]

You are taking far more time with an encounter that didn't happen than most people take with encounters that do. It's hard not to feel that there is something slightly amiss about that.

 

Find someone else and maybe it will help you get over it better. It sounds more like you wanted to just tar this guy and get back at him which just seems odd to me -- and others -- since you never knew him or ever met him.

[Txpaytoplay]

After reading everything and giving it some thought....I do not believe he disrespected you. He was obviously uncomfortable with the phone conversation and the proposal. However you may look at it you should give him credit for at least communicating with you that he did not believe he was a good fit for your needs. Although no one likes rejection, he didn't try hustling you...which in my book shows some strength in his character. Just my thoughts....

[jackhammer91406]

>To the board, am I crazy, or does this guy have some issues

>with escorting and clients in general? Also, I think this guy

>is a ticking time bomb and potential clients need to be aware

>of this. Should I put in a review, even though we never met?

>He has one review - very suspect. It's from a first time

>reviewer who is very vague and just talks about how great he

>is and no real details of the encounter.

>

>Thoughts??

>

>

Well, you asked for some feedback. Clearly some of it is not perhaps what you wanted to hear. I have read your post including his response and all of the replies. You have spent a lot of time trying to justify going after this guy for not handling the situation the way you would have wanted him to. Did he disrespect you? Not as much as if he was just a no show. Could he have handled it better, certainly. I am not as concerned about you revealing his email since it is posted in his reviews.

 

I think most have it right: Let it go. While the disappointment is valid, I don't think it means the escort doesn't belong in this business. He made a value judgment based on HIS perception of the conversation you both had on the phone. In arranging the rental of his body and his companionship, HE is the final arbiter of what he feels comfortable with. You guys didn't connect on the phone. You said one thing, he heard another...pretty simple. No harm, no foul. To spend anymore time trying to determine who is right and who is wrong seems infantile to me.

 

You got lucky. It sounds like this would have been an awful encounter and he saved you that. That is worth something.

Be the bigger person, give him the benefit of the doubt and move on.

[whipped guy]

RE: I don't think it means the escort doesn't belong in this business. He made a value judgment... HE is the final arbiter of what he feels comfortable with... It sounds like this would have been an awful encounter and he saved you that.

 

Of late it seems as if I have been giving lectures on business practices in this forum, but heck we are talking about the “oldest” business so here I go again…

 

The most successful business people have always been shrewd in picking and choosing their clients. This is actually one of the Hallmarks of success. There exists a time to accept a client, a time to reject a client, and a time to refer a client to a different service provider… To not make the appropriate choice in these regards is in essence doing the client a disservice.

 

Of course egos are sometimes bruised and feelings are often hurt in such situations so at times a certain amount of tact and diplomacy has to enter the equation, but in the final analysis it is indeed often in the clients best interest to be rejected so he can be better served by someone who is actually better equipped to deal with his particular situation.

 

Sounds like this escort actually knew what he was doing… he may not have done it in the most considerate manner but in the final analysis he did this particular client a big favor.

[+ bigjoey]

has anyone here actually been with "paul"?

 

are the pictures accurate and recent or are they from his modeling days of the past?

 

what was the encounter like?

[Okliehomo]

I have read all the posts, too and I have a couple of thoughts. While I can't say that I think this guy is a threat to society in general, and I DO think that he did you a HUGE favor by canceling... because he did agree on the phone to do something that he clearly knew all the time that he couldn't deliver..(like kiss, but who's still bitter?) .... So, he lied to you, or said what you wanted to hear and then thought better of it. Is that honorable? Well, it could have been worse, ( Aiden Shaw) he could have perpetuated the lie and shown up and then it would have been awkward as Hell for all involved and you would not only be poorer for it but also more pissed off than you are now. Believe me.

 

I do have to admit that had he sent me such an email, I wouldn't haven't liked it, either. If you are hiring a hustler or a wh**re, then you are a john, so that speaks volumes about him and how he views himself, his work and all of us. I have been doing this for a while now, and while I have only done overnites of meaningless sex, I have never been referred to as anything but a client. That's because I have been hiring escorts...... Not hustlers, or at least, that's been my goal. I know where the bus station is in OKC but I don't go there. It is about respect and some level of civility. Sure, we can all call a spade a spade, or a wh***re a wh**re, but common courtesy and common sense should come to mind at some point. I am sure that some of you out there are rolling your eyes, but you know, you say potato, I say potatoe, tomato, tomato, and in the end, I really think that you should just be glad that Paul called the whole thing off.

 

And one more thing........ If the longest he has ever talked to a john (that word again!!) on the phone is 10 minutes and he really can't be bothered with even that, and to him, it's an hour of meaningless sex and he has the class ( ummm.. gall) to tell you that's what it is, I am hear to tell you, sweetie, that you didn't miss out on much with this guy. Sure, it's all pretense and I am very aware that money does change hands, but part of what you are paying for is exactly that... the pretense. They ain't our boyfriends, but they are paid to act as such, even if it is only for that meaningless hour.

 

I'm glad that you posted about it. While he didn't rip you off or put a gun to your head, he did show us all, through you, a clear picture of how he conducts his business and how he views his clientele... oh, I mean johns... sorry. And you, at least, had the nuts to name him and tell us how you felt. Nuts, that I clearly do not have... And posting the email, that's fair game in my book... you aren't a priest, are you??? and summed him up in his own words. After all, it wasn't a love letter, it was business. You just hung him with his own rope. Yee haw.

 

That all being said, go forth and hire an escort. Thanks for the post and I appreciate your candor and your courage. Wish I had it. And to quote Mr Donny Osmond, however poorly, "One bad apple don't spoil the whole barrel, (batch, bunch???), girl..." Plenty of fish (hate that word, too..) even in Pittsburgh. Could be worse, you could be in ......

 

Okie

[+ purplekow]

I started a thread about an escort cancelling at the last minute after several contacts by phone and e mail. The thread was in regard to chubby and obese. That escort had my height and weight at the first contact and he was contacted several times and then came the last minute chubby but not obese statement. That escort unnamed in my thread was this same escort.

So perhaps one late cancellation is just that. And perhaps two are just coincidence. Take the information and use it or not. The negativity toward this poster is confusing to me.

[Rick Munroe]

>Anyone who thinks they should get respect from an escort they

>have never met is in serious need of either help or a reality

>check or both.

 

We should all treat each other with respect, period. We're all human beings and a little respect, courtesy and compassion go a long way. Also, no offense, and I'm not a psychologist, but I would think that anyone who doesn't expect respect from an escort they've never met might have some self-esteem issues. (Where is Oprah when you need her?)

[Rick Munroe]

>I was also disappointed that he chose not speak to me in

>person, but rather send a text message. Maybe I'm just too

>old school, but whenever I have to cancel an appointment with

>someone, I do it in person as a courtesy.

 

I agree that it would have been nice, but Derek and I have rarely (or maybe never) had a client cancel by telephone. Even if it is a last-minute cancellation, they always do it by email or text. I think maybe most people (escorts and clients alike) are just afraid of any possible confrontation or unpleasantness. It's human nature.

 

Also, not to defend this escort because I don't know him or his side of the story, and not to imply that I think you did anything wrong (it doesn't seem that way) but I think most escorts at one time or another make decisions like this based on our gut feelings. We're probably reading things wrong most of those times, but we learn to trust our instincts and go with it. For whatever reason, you gave him bad vibes. I wouldn't take it personally.

[Guest zipperzone]

>Points of order:

>

>I took offense to his arrogant tone and I was completely

>respectful of him throughout our conversation and emails. My

>time is no less valuable, but I do think I was owed an

>explanation to his sudden change of mind.

 

According to your original post, he DID give you an explanation - twice, in fact. Maybe it wasn't what you wanted to hear, but don't whine about not receiving one!

[ariadne1880]

Actually, if you actually think about it and have some basic knowledge of psychology ... the person who has obvious self-esteem issues is the person who "expects" respect from an escort they haven't met not the other way around.

[ariadne1880]

Based on your reaction and everything you've posted here ... it would seem that, despite your denials, you are very demanding and that you have borne out the escort's concerns. Be glad that he thought twice about the situation -- which is what he did and that's perfectly valid -- and canceled.