Sex after escorting

[Guest escortinSD]

Im writing this to find out from other escorts, what is their sexual life like after escorting. I am a guy who has always been extremely sexual. I began escorting full time in the fall of 1999, and continued to do so for the next year and a half. I met many many many wonderful, giving gentlemen in that time, but there is an unfortunate side that I experienced as well.

I found that slowly but surely, my sexual appetite decreased. After that, I not only didnt crave sex, I didnt want anyone even touching me outside of "work". I lost interest in watching porn, masterbating, or hooking up for recreational reasons. I even found that when I DID meet a hot stud to play with, at the end of our encounter....it felt fairly empty as no cash was changing hands. I also felt pressure, even when I was having recreational sex, to be "on"....meaning that I felt I was a failure in some way if the other guy didnt lay back with his eyes rolled back, professing how I was the best lay he'd ever had.I booked a massage while I was escorting, and half way through broke out in a cold sweat and felt sick to my stomach, as I was being touched in a way that was nurturing and non-sexual. I didnt remember how to deal with that.

I also found that I was becoming dependant on Viagra. I absolutely needed it to get a hard on...sometimes just to jerk off. THAT really made me nervous.

I have stopped escorting full time about 6 months ago...and I again find myself just now starting to really enjoy sex again. I jack off regularly, loooooove porn, and I am getting away from Viagra.

Are there any other guys out there who fell into the same patterns as I did, and how did they get out of it? Are there any guys going through it now? I truely thought sex would never be the same for me, and Im just happy that I again am able to enjoy that part of my life that I was once enjoyed so much.

[Guest 7Zach]

I know one former escort pretty well, escorted for over a year. Stopped escorting and no sex, no desire, no inkling for maybe 8 months, and started to sorta recover. Tied up with other issues, including periodic abuse of alcohol. All in all, some people are able to do it, others are really just too sensitive, or however you would describe it, and find it numbing/or confusing. Others treat like a fun job for the most part, and I imagine the rest are inbetween, with a few on the far end of the scale where they essentially hate their clients.

[Guest jeffOH]

escortinSD...After 10 years of escorting, yes, sex is different

for me. In my personal life, I'm not as easily turned on nor am

I always in "cruise" mode when I'm out in public. It's extremely

rare for me to have recreational sex, unless I am paying another escort for it. I've been out to bars/clubs dancing 3 times in the

past 6 years and I've never been to a bathhouse.

 

The novelty of the actual sex act wore off long ago. I still

masturbate ocassionally, but I'm more of a binger. Most of the

sex I have is with my clients, but this past weekend I hired an

escort 2 days in a row. Actually, it's kind of a relief. I'm no longer so controlled by my hormones. I remember being in my early twenties and walking around with half a hard-on most of the

time. It didn't take much to get me going. Now, it's something

I can control at will most of the time. I suppose that's from

all these years of turning it on and off with clients. Just as

I can control when I'm going to cum.

 

Sex has become more of a spiritual thing for me in my personal life...when I'm not being paid or paying for it. I really don't enjoy doing IT just for the sake of doing it. I enjoy the emotional connection more than the physical. But, working as an

escort reduces your dating pool, so I don't date much. I don't

have much of that emotional/spiritual intimacy as I'd like.

Perhaps I'll meet another person in the sex industry who is at

a similar emotional/spiritual/sexual level that I am.

 

Jeff4hire@aol.com

[Guest jeremyred18]

I am glad this topic started because I have been escorting for 6 months and I have noticed that my sex drive has changed dramatically. I don't masterbate anymore period. I just don't feel the need too. I have a boyfriend and now when I have sex with him it feels different. I don't even look at porn. I am only 18 too so was really worried about this and I wasn't sure if it was normal. But I am glad EscortinSD started this, I feel alot better knowing I am not the only one. I am in San Diego too and all the guys around here are all about the checking out and now I get repulsed when they do it and I don't know why. But escorting has taught me however to try to be more pleasing in bed. Like EscortinSD said, I don't fee like I am doing my best until my boyfriend is moaning and eyes rolling.

[Guest ortrud45]

I'm not Dr.Ruth, but let me just say what came to my mind when reading your post:

Most probably you are a fulltime sexworker (no criticism in- tended) and you had initially great fun escorting. As you state

that you always had a great sexdrive ... why not making it your

job and getting paid for it. The money was good and you strived

to be a good escort, meeting the needs of your clients. As you

were doing a good job, more guys wanted to hook up with you and

you understood this as a positive signal, a confirmation/ attestation to be good at it. Most of the time horny and walking around with a semihardon or boner you went for it and met more clients. To ensure to alwasy being in topform you started to take the blue pill and for some limited time everything worked well and the income was great.

And then one day you got aware to your own surprise and despite using Viagra that your sexdrive faltered ...

I think at this moment your body was just letting you know, that you overdid it and as a consequence you got sexually saturated and bored. Initially you probably overlooked this signal until

your body was exhausted and you eventually faced the problem to perform. And this fact hit you as a shock, kind of "what's wrong with me?"

You absolutely did the right thing by taking a break as an es-

cort: and now, gradually, your sexual appetite comes back.

 

Lesson (I hope I do not sound like giving you a lecture): wait

another few weeks/months until you feel horny as hell again, wake

up with the famous morning-erection and so on ... and then resume your activity as a sexworker, but limit your appointments to one meet a day only; less stress, no need to rush from one place to another. To guarantee you a nice income I suggest you

eventually change your old pattern of work and specialize in lon-

ger sessions. And try to do it without Viagra, so next time, if

you should face problems again (what I do not hope), you will

read your body-signals right away.

 

Hoping you are getting soon your old horny self again, sporting

a nice boner to your own delight and then starting to share your

body and lust with your former happy clients!

[Guest Sports]

Sounds like you need to talk to a professional. Nothing wrong with it; you're asking all the right questions. A couple of sessions with a good therapist will answer your questions.

[Guest biga]

I have always had a high sex drive and have always loved having sex,when i was younger i did some incredibly stupid things and am very lucky that i never ended up with an STD or worse.

During the year or so that i escorted i found the only thing that happened to me was it made me more selective in my "private"time where before it would be a case of anytime,anyplace,anyone i would think about it more and because i was seeing clients every day almost, the drive for having sex did not decrease or stop but i think it taught me a valuable lesson which was to slow down and wait for the right person to come along-and he did ! .Andy

[Rick Munroe]

At the risk of being accused of saying this for self-promotion (hi, Rod...please be gentle with me), I just want to say that escorting has not abated my libido one bit. Aside from Game Show Network, sex is all I think about and when I'm not escorting, I'm craving & seeking "McSex" (sorry, Rod, I stole your line...hey, that's 2 references to you in one post that isn't even about you; do I get points?). If anything, escorting has made me want & enjoy sex even more than before, and I honestly had expected the opposite, from what I had heard. Hey, I'm strokin' it right now & this isn't even a sexy post.

[+ Lucky]

Are you trying to hit on Rod?

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

Stop all the navel-gazing and go get a real job.

 

Many of you guys (whores and johns) all talk like the life of an escort is sexy and glamorous and fun and fulfilling. Well, guess what? It's not. Anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who does it for a protracted period of time gets their life fucked up by it.

 

I hear these guys talk about how they meet all these great "gentlemen" and they "make new friends" and blah blah blah and I think: "You're full of shit." Being a whore is NOT like being a salesman at the Clinique counter at Bloomingdales. You're being intimate mostly with guys you find repugnant.

 

It fucks with your head, your sex life and ALL of your interpersonal relationships. Finally, someone has begun a thread where they actually admit what I've heard time and time and time and time and time again from guys who do it.

 

Remember when I started a thread about "what do guys tell their families they do for a living?" It took FOREVER before anyone actually ANSWERED that question. And you know why almost all the guys don't tell their parents what they do? Because they're ASHAMED of it. And anyone who says they aren't embarrassed by being a whore, is a liar. Being a prostitute is nothing to be proud of. Does it make you a bad person? Hell no. But it DOES mean you're lazy. And being lazy is nothing to be proud of.

 

My my my. I certainly went on a tear.

 

I'm not trying to make you guys feel bad about yourselves. However, you shouldn't be deluded into thinking that being a prostitute for a living is kinda cool and glamorous.

 

It's not. In fact, it's actually really tacky.

 

If you need to make some extra money to pay off some debts and think prostitution is the quickest way to do it, then do it, pay off your debt, and get the hell on with you life.

 

Polemically yours,

 

FFF

[Donnie]

OK, so you're obviously an escort or have been one. This explains a lot about your anger & attitude toward the business and those who are successful at it.

[Guest jeffOH]

I am NOT ashamed or embarrassed about being an escort/whore/

prostitute nor am I a liar. I am proud of what I do for a living.

I do find joy in my work. I did tell my parents I'm a prostitute!

I make alot more money now than when I was working in retail

management and it has been rewarding on many levels.

 

I have much more time than the average person to contemplate my

existence. I am a much more spiritual person now than before I

started escorting 10 years ago. Working as a prostitute has allowed me to really get to know myself and like who I am...something I couldn't have said before I entered this profession. I don't find it TACKY at all. There aren't many guys who can do what I do and as well as I do it...I know I provide a

valuable service to others.

 

I have met some of the most varied and interesting men while

working as a prostitute. I chose this profession or maybe it chose me...sometimes I'm not sure which, but I do know it's been

a hell of a ride and it's gotten me to a place where I am truly grateful. I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks about what I do. It's been a very liberating experience for me and I wouldn't change a thing about the decisions I've made in my life.

 

Jeff4hire@a0l.com

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

>OK, so you're obviously an escort

>or have been one.

>This explains a lot about

>your anger & attitude toward

>the business and those who

>are successful at it.

 

What are you? Some kind of remora from hell?

 

Donnie, you're something more insidious than a nasty queen - you're boring.

 

Wearily yours,

 

FFF

[Guest escortinSD]

This is in response to Fin Fang whatever. I didnt become aware of the "message center" feature on this site until fairly recently. I posted my thread, to hopefully help out a few of the guys out there and shed a little light on an issue that I didnt see being tackled. I will not go into why I got into escorting, how I dealt with my family and relationships, and why I got out......primarily because I do not need to get attacked and have my feelings hurt again by mean spirited, half baked posts. I guess in a lot of ways, Im still a small town hick at the age of 27......I believe that people are kind and good, and want nothing more than to see others around them be happy and well adjusted. My mistake, and I thank you for that sobering wake up call. I will not post on here again. I hope, and I sincerely mean this, that a few of you read my post and see a little light at the end of the tunnel if you are scared or confused by your sexual issues due to escorting. For those of you who cowardly spew selfish, cruel shit from safely behind your keyboard, I hope someday you find half the happiness I am lucky enough to have found. Lets try to be good to eachother guys.....there is enough ugliness out there right now.

Peace

EscortinSD

[Guest bottomboykk]

Don't let a couple of obnoxious people scare you away from here. There are a lot of good people here who are interested in what you have to say. Stick it out, and I think you'll find more good than bad.

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

Jeff. You've proven yourself to be a crank in the past.

 

Your opinion is academic at best.

 

Apathetically yours,

 

FFF

[Guest jeffOH]

>Jeff. You've proven yourself to be

>a crank in the past.

>

>

>Your opinion is academic at best.

>

>

>Apathetically yours,

>

>FFF

 

FFF...and your words always say more about you than I ever could.

And even though I'm not terribly fond of you, I hope you find 1/2

the joy in your life that I've found in mine.

 

Jeff4hire@aol.com

[Guest jeremyred18]

I posted my

>thread, to hopefully help out

>a few of the guys

>out there and shed a

>little light on an issue

>that I didnt see being

>tackled.

 

EscortinSD, I am personally very glad you posted what you did. I thought I was the only one. But you have shown me that I am not and as for Fin Fang Foom, how can you call an escort a whore. That is a really trashy term. Thats like somebody calling you a faggot. I am an escort, NOT a whore or a prostitute, and no I haven't told my family that I am an escort because no, it isn't exactly a job to write home about. I enjoy my work, my clients enjoy my work, which makes the world a better place

Jeremy

[Rick Munroe]

>This is in response to Fin

>Fang whatever...For those of

>you who cowardly spew selfish,

>cruel shit from safely behind

>your keyboard, I hope someday

>you find half the happiness

>I am lucky enough to

>have found. Lets try to

>be good to eachother guys.....there

>is enough ugliness out there

>right now.

 

Couldn't have said it better. I hope you don't leave tho...posts like yours & Jeff's are the kind of heartfelt honesty we see so little of here. This does not necessarily have to be a "light" forum where we all agree & everything's sugar-coated, but in general, self-hating garbage like FFF is best ignored. Hate, like the type he is proficient at spewing, isn't just ugly; it's really out of place here (except for Truth Teller...you can almost taste the tongue in his cheek). It's sad that we lose people who contribute meaningful posts, but bitter ones like FFF just wearily (his word) hang on.

[+ Lucky]

COuldn't agree more, Rick. Hooboy asked when he pulled a FFF thread how much bad taste can one individual show? FFF can be funny, and his perverse humor can be interesting. Maybe he is stressed out after the Spetember 11 tragedy, but he certainly has been hard to take lately. Hopefully, he will show the compassion he tells us he has and lighten up!

I hope no one leaves the board because of him.

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

>That is a really trashy

>term.

 

Don't shoot the messenger.

 

 

>I am an escort, NOT a whore or a prostitute.

 

That guy who takes Brooke Astor to the opera is an escort. You're a whore/prostitute. You have sex for money. Plain and simple.

 

>I haven't told my family

>that I am an escort

>because no, it isn't exactly

>a job to write home

>about.

 

You're agreeing with me now.

 

I think it's time I made something clear about my usage of the word "whore"..............

 

 

Are some of the guys who do this really great guys who have personal integrity? Absolutely. Are some of these guys creeps? Absolutely. I've hired some guys in my life because I think they're hot and frankly, it's worth $200 to me to fuck them into oblivion. However, unlike many of you, I don't romanticize what they do.

 

The gay community is terrified of being judgmental. Heaven forbid someone be offended! So, let's call these guys "escorts" because we certainly don't want to offend any of these guys by calling them what they are - whores.

 

If you look up "whore" in the dictionary it says: "a male who engages in sexual acts for money." It doesn't get much clearer than that, does it? I don't see any wiggle room. I hear many whores declare they are not WHORES! They are escorts! Well, no you're not. You're a whore. And the sooner you come to grips with that fact that you're a prostitute, the sooner you'll be able to get on with you life.

 

I have made it no secret that I feel that guys should not make this a life's profession. There are those of you who say you love what you do and blah blah blah and it's my OPINION that you're full of shit.

 

I have also said that most (NOT ALL) guys who do this have major sexual issues (all protestations to the contrary) and low self-esteem. I think my position has been proven again and again and again.

 

I use the term "whore" and "prostitute" freely because it's my way of reminding everyone who and what we're talking about here. Once again, are some of these guys great guys? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY. But let's be honest here, they are the exception to the rule. The majority of these guys are whores and they behave like it. Remember, only a FRACTION of the whores are reviewed here. Is Rick Munroe a great guy? HELL YES! Is Jason Coxx really nice. YEP! However, if you get both of them in private and ask them if they would like to be doing something different and more fulfilling with their lives, I'm sure they would both say "yes". Not because they think they're bad people, they're not, but rather because, the truth is, NO ONE REALLY WANTS TO BE A WHORE. We all want to be in a loving relationship and have really great sex. No one wants to be having sex with a bunch of people they find unattractive. This isn't rocket science folks. This is very simple.

 

That's all for now. I'm worn out.

 

Wearily yours,

 

FFF

[Guest man2man4u40]

"the truth is, NO ONE REALLY WANTS TO BE A WHORE."

 

I think the truth is no one really wants to be CALLED a whore.

Just like guys who do the hiring wouldn't want to be called whoremongers.

 

The name for this web site is "Male 4 Male Escort Reviews" not "Male 4 Male Whore Reviews." Anybody who's looked at this web site knows that the term "escort" has evolved into a euphamism for "whore" or "prositute" . Just as the term courtesan which orginally meant "one attached to the court of a prince" has been a common euphemism for a prostitute since the latter half of the 16th century.

 

It's interesting to note that the OED has the following definition of whore with a note at the end, "A male prostitute; any promiscuous or unprincipled person. (Esp. as a term of abuse.)" It's this usage in an abusive way that is objectionable to most escorts I know.

 

The truth is, NO ONE REALLY WANTS TO BE ABUSED.

 

--Jack in SF

[Guest Zach DC]

Damn Fin Fang Foom, you dispute any claims that the life of an escort is sexy and glamorous. Well, why are all you always talking about 'em. Why all the deep analyzing and speculating and school girl gossip?

 

You should be glad some escorts are so predictable. You really get off when your predictions are true.

 

Whether escorts are sexy and mysterious, or some really are just lazy fuck-ups--they're the most satisfying subjects you know.

 

 

Zach DC

[Guest jc92103]

>If you look up "whore" in

>the dictionary it says: "a

>male who engages in sexual

>acts for money." It doesn't

>get much clearer than that,

>does it? I don't see

>any wiggle room.

 

I just looked it up in my dictionary and Webster defines the word whore as follows: " any woman who engages in promiscuous sexual behavior" What dictionary are you using?

 

It's my opinion that Mr. flim flam flame has a few unresolved issues regarding his own sexual desires. Perhaps he is filled with self hatred based on his confused sexual identity and feels the need to project onto those who tempt him. We've seen his type before. He is the type to call an escorts advertised number and breath heavily. He is the type to make repeated appointments with escorts only to no show or cancel. He is the type to send a pic of someone else while in an AOL chat. Lot's of big talk about banging his "whores" with his big 'ole ( 4 inch ) cock...we know the type. So many unresolved issues here, these forums give him the power and worthiness that he so desires in real life. We know the type so very well.

[Guest jeffOH]

FFF...just because you can't wrap your tiny hate-filled mind around the concept that some of us escorts/whores/prostitutes do find our jobs fulfilling, doesn't mean it isn't so. You haven't lived my life so how could you possibly know how much I've enjoyed working as an escort. You hire hookers, don't you? What

kind of person does that make you? From most of your posts, not a very happy one. But, my, how quick you are to lash out at others, aren't you? I've met some wonderful guys...clients and other escorts. My best friends are/or have been escorts and are some of the most loving, caring men I've ever met.

 

You try to backpedal on your usage of whore/prostitute by saying that yes there are some who are great guys, but then you presume to know how they'd feel if asked whether or not they'd rather be

doing something "more" fulfilling. Well, just maybe many of us do find it fulfilling and just maybe you don't know what the hell you're talking about.

 

Jeff4hire@aol.com