Too Paranoid?

[Prime Muscle]

Need your advice on whether or not I'm too paranoid when it comes to accepting drinks. As a general rule, but not absolute, I do not accept drinks at bars unless the beer bottle is unopened or unless I watch the bartender pour the drink. If someone wants to buy me a drink, I make sure I get the drink from the bartender. If someone hands be a drink that has been opened, I politely pass. The last thing I want is to have someone slip in some drugs. I have the same rule when I'm with a client at his home - unless I can see that the beer or wine bottle was unopened before I arrive, I pass. And I always pass on mixed drinks at clients' homes because it's way too easy to spike ice cubes with drugs.

 

Earlier this week I was with a client at his home and he was somewhat put off by my drinking rule. He thought I was way too paranoid -- especially since this was our second meeting. Of course, just because we had a round of naked play once before doesn't mean that I know anything about him. Anyone else think that I am too paranoid? Not that I will change my rule but I'd be interested in your thoughts.

[Traveller]

First meeting, the rule is smart. The second meeting......well, the rule is infinitely smarter because someone undoubtedly was watching you.

 

Later.

[+ Lucky]

Not too paranoid. Can't you see how many crazy people post here?:-)

[alanalt]

Too Paranoid? For 99% of the population, probably. But there's always that 1% And I hope I'm not playing any stereotypes but in your business, you might be more prone to meet that 1% than many!

 

As to whether I'd be offended. Probably not. I try very hard not to judge people, especially by their eating and drinking habits. On the other hand, if we had known each other for an extended period of time, I might be a bit concerned that you still didn't 'trust' me.

 

Sorry, no simple answers here!

 

:-) Alan

[Gigiloz4me]

I think, if your rules are 'absolutes' then yes, your slightly over the top. 'Absolutes'will be barriers to wonderful and spontaneous experiences.

 

I too have rules but I let my instincts be my guide.

 

Now, were you born in Germany or is it just your heritage??

 

[n2kcmuscle]

You should probally have the same rule for poppers - if you use them. Once I took a hit of another dudes poppers and was almost knocked out. I was aware enough to know what the dude was doing to me but i couldn't do anything about it - he did what he wanted and then left.

[BuckyXTC]

After reading Tom BuStone's horrific account of a meeting with a wacko client who shredded his cock with a few bad teeth, if I were an escort, my first order of business would be to perform a rudimentary dental exam of the client. As for the drink issue, I never offer drinks unless it is requested. I would be particularly suspicious if someone was trying to force drinks upon me.

[Guest lipstick]

Sounds like a firm and sensible rule for me. Experts always recommend to WOMEN that they be careful about this very thing. So why should it be different for guys....???

 

From a client perspective, I'd say this would be a problem only if it affects the sexual performance. I mean that one could be so watchful and fully aware of what might happen that the spontaneity of sex is simply no longer there. Or the atmosphere is so full of mistrust that both parties are affected by it.

 

And there is no easy answer for this. I hooked up with one of the best escorts in the business on my SECOND try!!!! How lucky can you be in this type of business? But fate could have taken me down a different road if there was not site like this.

 

As with what I said in the Bustone post, you escort guys have to look out for each other. My favorite escort makes it a point to get to know other escorts, both as new friends and also as colleagues of sorts to network with and share info about the business and other clients. However, he has told me that there are some escorts who resist associating with other escorts, and that's understandable, 'cause escorts all have their unique styles and preferences, just like clients have.

 

but who do you guys go to when there's a problem or crisis or you just need to talk about the "business?"

 

Anyway, I digress. But folks do need to takes measures to ensure that bad things don't happen, or even get out of hand.

 

Thanks.

[Michael]

Just because you're paranoid it doesn't mean that they aren't out to get you ... :o

[Rick Munroe]

>He thought I was way too paranoid -- especially since this was our

>second meeting. Of course, just because we had a round of naked

>play once before doesn't mean that I know anything about him.

 

Exactly. When I was just starting out, I was hired by a sick (I later discovered) man on the upper west side who said he only wanted me to pose nude while he sat in a chair & watched/directed. He made me get into awkward poses, and never took off his clothes or took out his dick. Easy money, as they say (who are they, anyway?). This happened about 3 or 4 times. The 5th time, he asked if we could start being more creative/kinky with the poses. Well, he was such an kind, easygoing guy so I was game. I stripped as usual, and he handcuffed my hands above my head to his spiral staircase. He cuffed my ankles to it, too. He then proceeded to smack (or should I say "beat") my face with the back of his hand. The worst part wasn't the pain or the shock of what was happening...it was the demonic & sinister look on his face. I started screaming really loud and he told me to be quiet ("the neighbors!") but I wouldn't stop so he uncuffed me, I got my money, and left. I was too freaked out to really do anything about it. I just wanted to get out of there and call Derek (who was not too thrilled to hear about it). It was later that we realized that the entire purpose of the previous 4 visits was merely to establish trust. SO...my answer is...you can never be too paranoid. You can only be too trusting. :-(

[Guest Merlin]

Vince Rockland has told the story that he went to a client's home and accepted a drink. Later he felt funny and realized he had been drugged. He immediately left and was able to get to a phone and call a friend. I don't think you are paranoid, and if the client is offended, tell him the story.

[Guest Chazzz69]

Too Paranoid? Not at all.

 

This day and age its a matter of survial. When I go out do not accept drinks execept under the same condidtions. I have to see the bartender prepare it and will take it directly from him/her.

 

Not only that but I never leave a drink on the bar or ask some one to watch my drink while I go to the restroom. I either finish my drink or order a new one when I return.

 

Slipping a "Mickey" in a drink is an age old trick and has led to trouble for many people. A relative of mine wound up on a serious acid trip about 25 years ago from just such an experience. Over a week in the hospital and most of his money and vauables stolen.

 

When I offer a drink to an escort that I have hired, I make sure that he sees that the bottle has not been opened. I usually hand him the bottle and let him open it. If he declines, then he declines. As a client I would not be offended.

 

Rick's story is a scary one to think that someone would hire him for a number of times just to establish trust and then ultimately break that trust. What a sicko, perhaps someone turned the tables on him and he got what he deserved.

 

I actually worry about the guys that I hire and have established long term relationships. At the end of our sessions, I always end with hug and a "be careful out there" at the end. When I read stories like yours, Rick's and Tom's it makes me all the more understanding of the risks associated with escorting.

 

Be Careful Out There, Ok?

 

Chazzz69

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>What a sicko, perhaps someone turned the tables on him and he got >what he deserved.

 

Carefull now! The quasi-intellectuals in our midst will accuse you of being full of HATE. Remember - only Mother Teresa moments are allowed on this board.

 

Thunderbuns

[+ glutes]

Please see the post in The Lounge under 'The Gift of Fear'. Gavin deBecker addresses this paranoia in his book, all very legitimate. 'Trust your gut!!'