Cumming Too Quickly With Provider

[mikeyspark]

Hey everyone!

I've noticed that I get way too excited during the massage/HE and I finish really fast - or I try to stop myself from finishing and end up...not finishing. I'm aware it's mostly mental (trying to figure that out) but I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this and any tips! Thanks!

[pubic_assistance]

WHY are you stopping yourself ? Go with the flow. 🍆💦

[56harrisond]

Not necessarily for this reason, but @Simon Suraci has previously discussed "happy middle", which could be considered.

On 3/24/2024 at 1:55 PM, Simon Suraci said:

I typically start with neck and shoulders face down, then back, arms, and work my way down the body to legs and turn the client over. Lots of long, full body strokes along the way. I do feet for a longer massage or when specifically requested. Not everyone appreciates their feet being massaged, but those that do really enjoy it.

I like the face up approach. I’ve had this once before and the masseur said it was to minimize time getting a stuffy nose face down. I still start face down.

I always enjoy incorporating what I like to call a “happy middle”. Sometimes followed later by a happy ending. Happy middle is often face down. Depends on the client though. Not everyone wants that, and some can only cum once…and want/expect it to happen at the end, face up, like every other masseur they’ve ever been with. I try to open up their horizons a bit, but some people are stuck in their ways and upset when something is unexpected and different.

I do a lot of traditional face-up-at-the-end style happy endings as well. At least with those it’s never mechanical or boring. I take pride in giving a powerful, memorable, and pleasurable finale experience. Usually some edging play involved.  Sometimes some ass play as well, balls, other erogenous zones. There are so many ways to make it fun, interesting, and interactive. I’m amazed at how many men have never been properly edged before and it blows their mind!

Sometimes there is another “happy” moment in the shower afterward. It doesn’t have to be confined to the table. Once in a while a client gets off the table for a minute or two to enjoy being on their knees…

One of the important aspects is a sense of building connection, and then building up erotic energy over the course of the session. Sometimes I start off with a naked hug.

A minority of clients either can’t or don’t want to cum, and that’s fine. I incorporate whatever level of eroticism the client wants. At a minimum, with me you always receive an excellent therapeutic massage.

Reading and communicating with your client is important.

 

Also see:

 

[luvhusky]

It’s hard sometimes because they get you so worked up before. When they are doing my inner thighs and belly I could almost cum then. 
although now I don’t cum as easy as I used to. 

[marylander1940]

6 hours ago, mikeyspark said:

Hey everyone!

I've noticed that I get way too excited during the massage/HE and I finish really fast - or I try to stop myself from finishing and end up...not finishing. I'm aware it's mostly mental (trying to figure that out) but I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this and any tips! Thanks!

Exactly! Multiple providers have told me the same thing if you feel like cumming go ahead and do it or you may not be able to do it later. That's not my case for the record but if this keeps happening to you just go ahead and shoot.

[mikeyspark]

Yes! I want it to last so I try my best to hold off. I'll just let it flow. 

[+ poolboy48220]

To @mikeyspark's credit in asking, many providers will consider the session complete once you've come. He's not unreasonable in wanting to delay that. 

[+ SirBillybob]

On 10/5/2025 at 9:29 AM, mikeyspark said:

Hey everyone!

I've noticed that I get way too excited during the massage/HE and I finish really fast - or I try to stop myself from finishing and end up...not finishing. I'm aware it's mostly mental (trying to figure that out) but I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this and any tips! Thanks!

It may be that in this context your ejaculation is problematically “premature”, depending on desire for timing and how it impacts on the interaction, the dynamics through the refractory period in which arousal could be markedly different (but fun if you relax into it) from the intensity leading up to the quick orgasm, and a desire to sustain such intensity for longer periods. As others have indicated, a good hire is oblivious to your timing, or merely flattered.

It’s usually only premature cumming if the partner gets left out in some way. Historically, the diagnosis is typically hetero-centric because the female partner’s (outside of commercial sex workers) enjoyment is predicated on sustained erection. 

In another common context, solo masturbation, in contrast, you may be inadvertently practising getting to ejaculation quickly. Think on that. I know that I like to get the bust done and dusted on my own, but in interactive contexts I prefer to build arousal and I have ejaculatory control. I also have ejaculatory control in solo masturbation because I cum when decide to, just as in interactive sex. But pursuing orgasm quickly because that is expedient and habitual in jerking off can paradoxically undermine ejaculatory control in massage.

Therefore, you likely have ejaculatory control in masturbation and those orgasms aren’t premature even if accessed in seconds. Moreover, the evolutionary imperative for procreation favours rapid ejaculation over female arousal and orgasm. We often align masturbation with several millennia of male sexual response. In the current age, however, ejaculatory control is framed as sexual sophistication. A shortened refractory period and the capacity for repeating enjoyable foreplay with minimal delay is similarly framed, notwithstanding the pleasurable benefits of prolonged arousal. 

There exists a solid sexological literature, packaged for the general public, on dealing with premature ejaculation since the phenomenon is so ubiquitous. Go for that. Wishing you good luck for getting the tip, and more, while managing sexual response.

Edited Monday at 02:41 PM by SirBillybob

[+ Gar1eth]

I've always been quick to the finish line unfortunately. I've always been amazed by guys who can endure stimulation for long periods of time without cumming.  There was a massage/escort guy I used to see in Seattle. I didn't see him weekly or anything -but probably over 10 visits in 4 or so years. I never saw him cum. I think he told me it was difficult for him.
 

Or take Andrew Justice or an old fbud of mine. They could pretty much cum at will. My fbud would wait for me, and then cum immediately after. I remember Andrew once asking me if it was ok for him to cum yet. I was always so envious. 

[mikeyspark]

6 hours ago, SirBillybob said:

It may be that in this context your ejaculation is problematically “premature”, depending on desire for timing and how it impacts on the interaction, the dynamics through the refractory period in which arousal could be markedly different (but fun if you relax into it) from the intensity leading up to the quick orgasm, and a desire to sustain such intensity for longer periods. As others have indicated, a good hire is oblivious to your timing, or merely flattered.

It’s usually only premature cumming if the partner gets left out in some way. Historically, the diagnosis is typically hetero-centric because the female partner’s (outside of commercial sex workers) enjoyment is predicated on sustained erection. 

In another common context, solo masturbation, in contrast, you may be inadvertently practising getting to ejaculation quickly. Think on that. I know that I like to get the bust done and dusted on my own, but in interactive contexts I prefer to build arousal and I have ejaculatory control. I also have ejaculatory control in solo masturbation because I cum when decide to, just as in interactive sex. But pursuing orgasm quickly because that is expedient and habitual in jerking off can paradoxically undermine ejaculatory control in massage.

Therefore, you likely have ejaculatory control in masturbation and those orgasms aren’t premature even if accessed in seconds. Moreover, the evolutionary imperative for procreation favours rapid ejaculation over female arousal and orgasm. We often align masturbation with several millennia of male sexual response. In the current age, however, ejaculatory control is framed as sexual sophistication. A shortened refractory period and the capacity for repeating enjoyable foreplay with minimal delay is similarly framed, notwithstanding the pleasurable benefits of prolonged arousal. 

There exists a solid sexological literature, packaged for the general public, on dealing with premature ejaculation since the phenomenon is so ubiquitous. Go for that. Wishing you good luck for getting the tip, and more, while managing sexual response.

Well this is fantastic and spot on. Thank YOU!