Is it safe to meet people?

[Acuriousguy]

If someone has a nice conversation online with someone  im curious how safe it is to meet them? 

You see articles of people getting shamed or arrested but my understanding is those are for those under 18 . Im curious if there are other red flags to be concerned about?

[SouthOfTheBorder]

41 minutes ago, Acuriousguy said:

If someone has a nice conversation online with someone  im curious how safe it is to meet them? 

depends on circumstances & context

increasingly, the ability to connect with a stranger online leads to real-life problems when one of the people has bad intentions & the other person isn’t aware.

if you’re an older person meeting a much younger person, then that’s something to be concerned about it.   assuming the person is of legal-age, why would that younger person want to meet a much older person ?  and how much do they know about you & what are the intentions ?  depends on what you have to lose 

two people of approximate same ages connecting online probably has much less risk. 

the online world is full of deception & scammers because it’s just so easy.  once someone has your real phone number, real name or knows where you live - it’s game over if the intentions are bad.

it shouldn’t stop you from meeting new people, but with an abundance of caution & always in a public place.  if it looks to good to be true, then it probably is.  I’d take time getting know someone online before a real-world meeting - most of the scammers won’t be that patient & will move on to an easier target. 

Edited June 20, 2024 by SouthOfTheBorder

[Acuriousguy]

Thanks.. 

Are there legal risks if both are over 18 ?

I agree that one should not give personal information to strangers. Im curious what could go wrong And how to protect oneself. 

 

Edited June 20, 2024 by Acuriousguy

[+ DynamicUno]

I have never had a problem meeting a provider from RM or RMass.  That is partially luck, since I have not used a burner phone number when contacting guys, but I tend to go for guys who've been listed for some time and have reviews.  This seems to avoid the worst risks, but there is no zero-risk way of setting up an encounter.  If you are concerned about a provider exposing you, you can mitigate the risk by not using your personal phone and email to arrange meetings.  There is no 100% foolproof way to avoid someone finding your identity, so you have to determine if the personal risk is acceptable.

I did have an incident a couple of years ago where someone I had been chatting with on A4A attempted a sextortion scam against me.  It was either the person directly, or once they had determined they found enough information about me through a public record search, likely identifying me from a face picture on A4A.  They passed the info to another operator who sprung the trap.  The scammer tried a shock and awe approach of text messages and calls threating me with a serious accusation, and also named my father and brother (which made it clear they used public records due the names they used).  They did actually escalate to calling my family with the accusations.  Fortunately I wasn't so easily panicked and it was clear I was recording their calls so they backed off and disappeared very quickly.  I did file a police report, mostly just in case they did try to escalate out of spite.

Sextortion scams like that are unfortunately very common, targeting people of all ages and backgrounds.

 

 

[+ DynamicUno]

On 6/20/2024 at 8:30 AM, Acuriousguy said:

Thanks.. 

Are there legal risks if both are over 18 ?

I agree that one should not give personal information to strangers. Im curious what could go wrong And how to protect oneself. 

 

Assuming you're talking meeting a sex worker as a client, your legal risks are dependent on where you are.  In the UK, for example, escorting is legal and you would not have risks from that on it's own unless there were some trafficking element or other criminal activity involved. Some other countries, two men having sex is illegal all on it's own.

In the US, escorting is illegal in almost all jurisdictions and it varies greatly from state to state (and county to county) how that's enforced.  Fortunately, most US law enforcement activities around male sex work do not target clients hiring from sites like RentMen.  There is always some inherent risk of law enforcement attention on RentMen, but it is more likely on RM for law enforcement to target escorts rather than clients.  You occasionally hear of certain county sheriffs or police agencies setting up sting operations, but I haven't heard of any cases where they used RM to lure in clients.  They mostly use sites that have lower barriers to setting up ads and often focus on the straight trade because trafficking is more often involving that.

A general rule of thumb for US clients is to stick with escorts who have been around for some time on RM, and who have a number of positive reviews. 

 

[soloyo215]

On 6/20/2024 at 8:30 AM, Acuriousguy said:

Thanks.. 

Are there legal risks if both are over 18 ?

I agree that one should not give personal information to strangers. Im curious what could go wrong And how to protect oneself. 

 

No, unless you are meeting for illegal purposes, such as hiring a hitman, deal illegal drugs, or incur into any illegal activity.

Meet in a public place, so that way you know that you are not going into some kind of trap in somebody's turf.

[SouthOfTheBorder]

17 hours ago, DynamicUno said:

A general rule of thumb for US clients is to stick with escorts who have been around for some time on RM, and who have a number of positive reviews. 

 

agree - and even then, vet the actual reviews to see if there’s a pattern that looks suspicious.  On RM, use a VPN that will allow you to see comments from reviewer vs just the number of stars.  And check to see if one person leaves multiple reviews and/or reviews all within a short period of time.  When verifying provider reviews on sites like this - check to see if the person reviewing is a long-term member and if they post about various topics and & no pattern of endorsing a small set of providers in every other post.  And if provider has mixed reviews on COM with the positives all by same person.  

There are plenty of legitimate providers who have real positive reviews & are serious about delivering quality services - the challenge is to find them

 

[BonVivant]

Always meet an online stranger for the first time in a public place where there are lots of people and witnesses.