Dahmer? Extra precautions after watching it?

[marylander1940]

I just finished watching the 10 episodes... I know escorts of all ages who refused to watch it.

I'm sure it's been mentioned before but barely in this forum! Even nowadays with an phone tracking all of our texting, location, etc. are you taking any extra steps towards preventing dealing with folks like him? 

 

Edited October 23, 2023 by marylander1940

[marylander1940]

On 10/12/2022 at 11:08 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

“One has a nice car and he collects me, then drives me back to his flat”

Ah, not great. 1 documentary about the Jeffrey Dahmer killings, plus my own experiences with crazies here and there over the years, would never have me getting into a car and going back to a man’s place. 

 

On 1/15/2022 at 1:44 PM, Monarchy79 said:

Guys seem “approachable”, based on our preferences, judgments, and belief systems;  which have been programmed in our minds since birth (that conditioning continues with what we see on television and in the media) . We believe that what we think and how we feel is organic, but typically, how we evaluate others, is not. 

For example…..

Jeffrey Dahmer was very “approachable” to his victims….. Most of his victims were either black or of some non-white ethnicity. Their programming to believe that a guy who looked like a “Colt” model, wouldn’t do them any harm, led to their deaths. 

 

 

It was mentioned on another thread about race and rates but it was ended because it was politicized. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Well I’ll say: I’ve definitely come across some “Dahmer-ish” guys who could have hypothetically been someone like that. Loner, attractive White dude who has a thing for Black guys and living in an interior corridor apartment in the city: more common than you think lol. But then there’s more recent stories such as: the Michigan/Grindr Cannibal dude.

At the end of the day, other than the fundamental security and screening methods that I already have in place: I wouldn’t see watching that being a reason to suddenly enforce extra measures. I feel that was during a time where even internet meets were considered risky, and lot of people were crazy (like how they are now lol).   Nowadays though it’s the mass shootings:
 

“The serial killing phenomenon in the United States was especially prominent from 1970 to 2000, which has been described as the "golden age of serial murder." The cause of the spike in serial killings has been attributed to urbanization, which put people in close proximity and offered anonymity.” -wiki

However, it would be a good reminder to have SOME protective measures and, a reminder to clients why some providers may ask stuff like:

Name:

Age/Basic Describe:

City You’re In:

Yours or My Place

Website 1st Seen:
 

It’s amazing how many can’t even get past those questions. Or they’ll answer part of it then leave the rest blank. “I seen you on RentMen, my name is Jake from State Farm”. Okay, but that still leaves out question #2 and #4. You’re now a 🚩 in my book. I’m going to see how far I can go, before you 🧗🏾‍♂️lose footing. 

Edited October 23, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[BriansBodywork]

A perfect example of why I don’t answer blocked calls, book an appointment, or give someone my address with a blocked number. I’ve watched enough Dateline that I’m aware if I turn up dead they will look at my phone for a digital thumbprint of past calls and texts. 
So all you married and discrete guys out there trying to schedule massage or escort appointments……good luck, but we don’t answer or schedule blocked numbers. 
#gurlbye

[Jarrod_Uncut]

14 hours ago, BriansBodywork said:

A perfect example of why I don’t answer blocked calls, book an appointment, or give someone my address with a blocked number. I’ve watched enough Dateline that I’m aware if I turn up dead they will look at my phone for a digital thumbprint of past calls and texts. 
So all you married and discrete guys out there trying to schedule massage or escort appointments……good luck, but we don’t answer or schedule blocked numbers. 
#gurlbye

What gets me the most is, and this isn’t just clients: guys who be like, “I don’t give out my number until I meet someone first”. So we’re going to play this game where you walk in, check me out, and then walk out or send me away? No thanks.

And it don’t even have to be anything dangerous on the scale of JD. But anybody who can’t show a number or does anything that obscures who they are:  is likely up to no good. Either they are going to not answer the door upon arrival, or they may rape someone , not pay/under pay, steal something on their way out the door…

It all translates to: I don’t want you to know my number/name/etc because I’m trying to conceal something. Question is, do I want to find out what? Probably not.

Edited October 23, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

After watching Dahmer, the only precaution I take now is to stop watching Ryan Murphy shows.

[Guest]

I think like the chilling documentary of Gianni  Versaces assassination,  there are lessons,  messages and cautionary tales from the brow raising work of Ryan Murphy on one of the most notorious and infamous killers of the 20th century. 

[soloyo215]

A provider that I hired once mentioned to me that he's straight and married to a woman who does escorting. He said that she keeps some kind of electronic device in her anal cavity as precaution when she does outcalls. I asked him how does he protect himself, since he's a bottom and his anal cavity is expected to be busy. To my surprise, he told me that hasn't even considered the possibility of him being in danger; he was only thinking about his wife's safety. He says that since he only offers "massages" he felt no need to consider being exposed to danger. I think that there is always a level of risk in everything we do (on both sides). Sometimes we do have a good sense of intuition but don't listen to it (probably thinking with the wrong head).

I have been fortunate of encountering only one unsavory situation when cruising, but the guy who wanted to attack me was almost half mi height and was unarmed, so I beat the crap out of him. I've also been able to stop before starting something when the situation or area don't look/feel safe. I obsess with my personal safety, so I might have missed great experiences, but I am also still alive, well and with stories to tell that are not unsavory.

Stay safe.

[ICTJOCK]

All professional escorts should be aware and take appropriate steps.    I think to get too comfortable is a mistake.    Precautions are always important.

As far as the Dahmer program,  I don't feel the need to do it,  so long as I don't forget there are potential men like him out there.

[socurious]

My last client had a skull in his living room. I couldn't stop thinking about that movie when I saw it and freaked out a bit, lol. I told him about it jokinly after we met but I'm sure he noticed it anyways. Funny not funny. 

[MikeThomas]

On the rare occasion, I meet an unknown provider, i.e., someone not known to this board, I will casually work into the conversation at the beginning that a friend dropped me off and is picking me up after our session.

[BuffaloKyle]

I actually don't do this but a great suggestion I have heard as alluded to by @MikeThomas is have a friend know exactly where you are going, who you are seeing, and how long you will be there. And that you will text them at a certain time and if they don't hear from you then they know something is up and to start taking action.

Edited October 24, 2023 by BuffaloKyle

[soloyo215]

4 hours ago, socurious said:

My last client had a skull in his living room. I couldn't stop thinking about that movie when I saw it and freaked out a bit, lol. I told him about it jokinly after we met but I'm sure he noticed it anyways. Funny not funny. 

If he asks you to f**k his skull, will you have to ask which?

[Jarrod_Uncut]

14 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

one unsavory situation when cruising, but the guy who wanted to attack me was almost half mi height and was unarmed, so I beat the crap out of him. I've also been able to stop before starting something when the situation or area don't look/feel safe. I obsess with my personal safety, so I might have missed great experiences, but I am also still alive, well and with stories to tell that are not unsavory.

Stay safe.

And this is the thing; in my experience…most of the sketch situations one can come across, are hookups and cruising for free type situations. This includes Grindr, gay bars, cruising in parks, etc. Anonymity in these situations can be the fuel. Asking a guy to pay, tends to weed out some of the common riff raff in itself. 
 

But these days I often notice, people…at least in the Midwest, don’t seem to be as open to going or bringing someone back home. That’s one thing I don’t like about going out, it’s hard to meet someone and then go home with each other. Everybody so uptight out here. I feel many guys out here are afraid of being robbed or hurt if they bring a Black guy home. When I’ve gone out to California, I don’t have that issue. 

12 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

All professional escorts should be aware and take appropriate steps.    I think to get too comfortable is a mistake.    Precautions are always important.

As far as the Dahmer program,  I don't feel the need to do it,  so long as I don't forget there are potential men like him out there.

And never accept a burger from a stranger (no offense to a member here who has a clown handle lol). 
 

 

12 hours ago, socurious said:

My last client had a skull in his living room. I couldn't stop thinking about that movie when I saw it and freaked out a bit, lol. I told him about it jokinly after we met but I'm sure he noticed it anyways. Funny not funny. 

Reminds me of a client I knew who has various taxidermy animals decorating his home. Probably had a shotgun in every room too. Fortunately never felt unsafe around him but, can only imagine what would happen if the wrong escort tried to rob him 🤷🏾‍♂️ 

Edited October 25, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[ICTJOCK]

4 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

 

And never accept a burger from a stranger (no offense to a member here who has a clown handle lol). 
 

 

I doubt if I would accept a "burger"  from McDonalds in any case.  haha       

I remember watching the "Dahmer"  movies as a kid and it scared the shit out of me.    As an adult and doing this kind of work requires a real awareness of the possibilities and act with prudence.   My main point.

[borgerback]

On 10/24/2023 at 1:50 PM, BuffaloKyle said:

I actually don't do this but a great suggestion I have heard as alluded to by @MikeThomas is have a friend know exactly where you are going, who you are seeing, and how long you will be there. And that you will text them at a certain time and if they don't hear from you then they know something is up and to start taking action.

Since the main play I engage in is bondage, I do this precisely every time; and ANY person I play with, I insist they do the same (e.g., whether dom or sub).  My last couple play sessions with guys from RM were at a bondage club rental space in LA, and the staff literally checks on you a couple minutes after the session is over (by knocking of course LOL) so the safety factor is very high.  But this is a non-negotiable for me in every encounter, even if it's with someone I know well and have played with a lot.  It goes just beyond the safety of harm from the other party; it's also the idea of - what if I have a heart attack while the other guy is restrained, for example.