when things get hot and heavy

[starman05]

has anyone ever allowed things to, shall we say, progress during a massage and then, shortly into it, you ask yourself WHAT am I doing here?

and you suddenly lose all interest. I mean you don't even know each other! 

 

 

[jeezifonly]

Ah. I remember that from dating

There is great value in occasional spontaneity, and the provider may often ask himself the same question.
Strangers, mutually in the moment is an engine start for some. If you are feeling coerced into something, then stop and leave. 

But…having your planned, consensual interpersonal communication be essentially through pleasurable physical contact, and quickly develop into semi-explosive chemistry that is brief but memorable, and no more? The very point of hiring massage, for me.
Even with repeats, it’s about finding brief sexual chemistry where I get to have fun after body work. I hire combos from escorts who massage, when I know damn well what I want. 😂

Edited August 20, 2023 by jeezifonly

[Pittlookalike]

yes frequently.  I usually leave the massages wondering what the hell I wasted time and money for

[FLJock]

When I was younger that’s exactly how I would feel after every romantic interaction with another guy. 
Maybe you should only try masseurs in a professional setting for now? 

[TracerMain]

Yes. Refractory period.

[starman05]

I posted this thought on kind of a whim but my thanks to jeezifonly and tracermain for the philosophical/emotional and biological input/information. 

One therapist in particular I met early after coming out; he was handsome and nurturing and kind. My biggest mistake was trying to forge a friendship. 

today, I have someone who is excellent at his job and I leave satisfied. No desire to forge anything beyond the 90 minutes a few times a month. 

 

[TennisPro35]

Agree on what @starman05 said.  I actually have a short list of these masseurs now — great therapeutic massage (but with extras and more for some).  
Though the human connection sometimes urges me to see if friendships can be made outside the massage session, I stop myself. point blank. Period.  Also had that “biggest mistake” moment since it was “friendship-ing” - on his personal time - a RMasseur masseur for a considerable lenght of time. Long story kept short.  lol.  Are we talking about the same masseur?

I sometimes just visit the local Thai Spa aunties for a therapeutic massage instead of going searching on the many male massage sites.  

[starman05]

1 hour ago, TennisPro35 said:

Agree on what @starman05 said.  I actually have a short list of these masseurs now — great therapeutic massage (but with extras and more for some).  
Though the human connection sometimes urges me to see if friendships can be made outside the massage session, I stop myself. point blank. Period.  Also had that “biggest mistake” moment since it was “friendship-ing” - on his personal time - a RMasseur masseur for a considerable lenght of time. Long story kept short.  lol.  Are we talking about the same masseur?

I sometimes just visit the local Thai Spa aunties for a therapeutic massage instead of going searching on the many male massage sites.  

it's possible it was the same guy; begin with T? I am officially in elder gay territory; I have a small tiny window to get out there and meet someone but I'm finding a lot of helpful advice in some Instagram accounts. No more narcissists, no more unavailable people. I express my interest and then move on. If he responds? great. If not, don't wait for the magic to happen. it won't.