Goodbye and Thanks

[Knabegeil]

A Dec. 12th post started a discussion on how to end a session that's not going well. I would like to suggest a variation on that topic: ending a session that DOES go well.

 

I'm not a novice with escorts, but I usually feel a little awkward about the departure part of things. The opening "break-the-ice" part is fine. Usually both escort and client want a little small talk first. In fact, often I find it's me who says, "Shall we move to the bedroom?" or making a move like stroking the guy's leg.

 

But the end is different. I don't want to stay longer than I am entitlled, nor do I want to rush out giving the impression that I don't value the escort as a person.

 

What's the happy medium?

[+ friendofsheila]

I usually hedge my position by doing both: gathering my stuff in preparation to leave and still engaging them in a bit of conversation. If he's not saying much or making with the Hoover, I realize it's time to move on. One guy gave me a water and I asked, "I'm guessing you might need to move on to other stuff. Should I take this with me to finish?"

 

Putting myself in their position as a person "on the job", if I found myself talking during worktime with someone about something we had in common, I might want to continue talking after. So I guess an escort would, too. I (as a client) would feel okay about saying, "Well thanks, that was really great. I'm not in a hurry right now and was

 

a) going to be polite and chat for a moment about [the topic in common] OR

b) ask you about [the topic in common].

 

Do you need me to scoot along or do you have to get to other things?"

[Bilbo]

Giving a bottle of water to go is not always a notice to move out. I give out bottled water when I do erotic bodywork because it is very good for your body to drink more water for a while after a massage like experience. It helps move the toxins that the massage has broken out of the muscles out of the body altogether, and, if you've been doing the full body electric Tantric bodywork the breathing has probably left your mouth drier than you realize. Most of my clients don't stick around long enough for a full glass of water. Many of them are too relaxed and into their own thoughts that they simply can't/dont want to have that long a conversation. But it doesn't mean that I want them gone. Poor things, there's many a time I've followed them out onto the porch talking. They're not running for their cars, but ... ;-)

[nice guy]

Given that the client is the customer, and the "payment for time together" was for his enjoyment, the client should just do what he feels like doing. No need to ask "what does the escort want me to do?"

 

I understand where you're coming from. Afterall, here are two people, put together in a very unusual and hopefully stimulating setting. Our societal upbringing has not taught us how to act in such a situation! Except to be ourselves. If you plan to hire often, you'll become more comfortable with the denouement of the session.

 

First, as a client in an hour-long session, if sex is completed in one-half hour (which seems to be the case too often as many escorts try to get you to cum as quickly as possible), you have the right to stay for the remainder of the hour (cuddling, talking, etc.) or politely ask the escort to stay. Don't be afraid to do this! What's the escort going to do, leave without getting paid? No need to beg the escort either. Just nicely say something like, "John, come over and sit next to me for the remainder of the session." Offer to give the escort a neck massage if you feel you have to do something to keep the escort there. This is only if you WANT the escort to stay. Plus, if you want the escort to stay beyond the planned time, be sure to ask, "Do you have flexibility for us to extend the session another hour?" Or something along that line.

 

Often, if I didn't particulary click with the escort on a personal level (even if we did plenty of "clicking" physically), after sex, I make the first move to begin getting cleaned up and dressed. Upon seeing that, the escort usually begins getting ready to leave too. But there have been times when I've had to say something along the lines of "I have to meet someone for dinner shortly. It was really fun spending time with you...blah, blah." And I mean it too. I don't give false compliments. If an escort is not an intimate, passionate sort of person, or interesting to talk with (even if he was fantastic in bed), I don't want to sit around afterwards and make small talk.

 

Then sometimes the unthinkable happens, and the escort asks YOU to stay longer, which implies that you're not to pay for that extra time. That has happened a few times to me, twice where I had a late night hour appointment and we hit it off so well, that the escort asked me to spend the night with him. Neither time did I accept because frankly, I was developing strong feelings for them and feared where that would lead. I know, it was dumb of me to pass up those opportunities. Guess I didn't want to fall in love with an escort, but if you've read my other posting, you'll discover that unbeknowst to me, I DID end up falling for an escort anyway!

 

So after all my personal ramblings, I'll sum up my response by suggesting you "Go with your gut and stay as long as you want, if it's within your planned session time. You are entitled to that. Any longer and you have to be prepared to pay more."

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

The Ends Justified

 

There are a few good threads on here both about clock watchers and, to use a phrase I believe Deej coined, wallet watchers. I am sure using both of those as search terms would bring them up.

 

While I do not believe it was the point of the question, by all means, if a client booked for and is paying for an hour (or three) and the intimate aspect of the encounter is completed quickly, either due to unforseen circumstances or planning on the part of one or the other parties, the client should feel totally comfortable to take up the full time scheduled. Conversely, as the thread search will reveal, were a client to request additional time, he should be prepared for several outcomes: (a) the escort might not be available and (b) if available, the escort may wish and expect to be paid for it.

 

Now, as one client here indicated, there are times when an escort might also wish to prolong a session, but no client should anticipate or expect that this will be the case. Finally, I think a hometown escort in his own environment, particularly on a non-weekend night, will likely always have some flexibility regarding time constraints. While traveling, this is highly unlikely to be the case.

 

http://www.gaydar.co.uk/francodisantis

[Bilbo]

RE: The Ends Justified

 

BTW Knabegeil, You scared the shit out of me, you know. Meant to mention it earlier, but forgot - I was that scared. The title of this thread is so similar to a couple of others lately in which the main poster was retiring or something like that. I hoped that you weren't leaving the board, but I couldn't be sure til I read your note. OK, so I'm teasing a little, but it really did worry me for a second.

 

And I've taken so many people's advice and put out a wonderful pot my seester (not by birth) made for me by hand in his ceramics class for people to put my fee into. It pleases me to use the pot for that. But I'm still so Scots. A new client tipped me $40 on a $100 session last week and I e-mailed him the next day to see if he had meant to leave that much and did he want me to return some of it to him. He LOLed. Then sent me such a hot thank you note that it wasn't the money faux pas I was blushing about for very long!

[nate_sf]

I've had this sort of question from an escort's perspective too when I've visited a client's house. As others have mentioned here, an hour session may involve less than an hour of "action," even by mutual choice, and then I'm wondering how quickly the client wants me to pack up and leave. I don't watch the clock so I'm happy to hang around chatting, cuddling or whatever for an extended amount of time, but I also know that sometimes after sex, some guys just want to be left alone.

 

So especially when the time together has been well less than what we had originally set up, I'm wondering whether to stick around since that was what was arranged, or whether I'm becoming that guest that needs to move on. A while back a guy said to me something along the lines of only having budgeted for the hour but that I was welcome to stay as long as I like, which for me was a nice way of handling it since it took the guess work out, and I stuck around for a bit just chatting (which I enjoyed) but felt pretty sure I wasn't overstaying my welcome. I suppose being up front is the best way to go.

[Knabegeil]

Hi, Anton. Thanks for your comments, esp about my screen name. Finding one that is both clever and not in use is (as you probably know) somewhat difficult. But it's a good test to help me find discriminating people like you.

 

I'm not surprised that the Dutch form of Knabegeil is so close. I have been in the Netherlands twice, and often found my way around by doing my best to sound out the street names in Dutch and then relating them to comparable German words.

 

My first visit to Amsterdam was about thirty years ago. The last time I was there was about ten years ago. On my first visit, many people spoke English, but not all. On my second visit, it seemed to me that just about everyone under 40 spoke English.

 

Oh, by the way, on my second visit I just about lived at Blue Boy. Had a great time.

 

Thanks again for your post.