What to do if the Escort Can't Get Hard?

[nice guy]

It happened to me once. While I liked him physically, not having him be hard left much to be desired in our session. Instead of being a hot time, it became a snuggle-fest. I always enjoy snuggling....but AFTER the fuck-fest! I spent much time trying to get him aroused, even asking him the things he enjoyed. We were both too embarrassed to even mention the fact that he couldn't get hard.

 

The escort is very well reviewed on this site and I think he's very sexy and nice. I was disappointed with the session, not because I didn't enjoy kissing and touching him, but because I wanted to suck him and have him top me. He is a top, and would not let me fuck him. This question was a response to a different posting of mine, but I wanted to highlight it as a separate question/posting.

 

He was exhausted from an overnighter, he told me in an email the following day. I paid him the full amount...and did not write a review. I really like the guy and wasn't mad -- but I think I expected him to tell me to just pay half or something like that. I thought of bringing it up during the session but was afraid that focusing on it would just make it more difficult for him to get hard. What should I have done/said? What should the escort have done/said? Obviously, the fault was both of ours to some extent for not communicating about it, but I wasn't sure how.

[Luv2play]

Assuming he was truthful with you in his follow-up e-mail about being exhausted from an overnighter, this escort should have offered you a substantial discount on the spot when he realized his "equipment" was not up to the task. Really, if you had been up-front, in advance, about your desire to be topped, then I don't see what other option he had. For him to offer this without any prompting on your part would have been the classy thing to do. Obviously, this escort has very little class, IMO.x(

[bigguyinpasadena]

Wellllllll,unless you agreed in advance that you just wanted to cuddle or whatever,or if he told you upfront that he would not get hard and you were cool with that,then the boy should not expect full fee-and should have bowed out earlier with no expectation of compensation.

Now if this was "you are paying for my time only"and nothing was discussed ahead of time regarding fooling around-then you might want to write a review and mention this.

To be honest,I have had some guys that could not get it fully hard-and unless they were extrordinary in some other way and could get me excited about playing out some sort of role play(or something like that)or they were MAJORLY hung even when soft and could get into a scene-then they usually get a-maybe next time and a couple of bucks(if I am feeling generous)for "car fare"

I have had this happen a few times with younger guys in Montreal.

Again,communication what seems to have been missing here-better luck in the future.

PS-I wonder if you meant to post in this forum-and if so,as a non escort please forgive the intrusion.

[Guest EscortNsf]

There is a lot of discussion in several threads on this board about escorts not being able to get hard. It's never been an issue for me, but given the amount of discussion, it must at least somewhat be endemic.

 

I have one client who hands me half a Viagra the moment I step through his door. I've never had a hard-on issue with him, so I do not think this is the result of any past (non)performance, but simply a standard practice for him. Given the amount of discussion around this issue, I recommend this practice to those concerned. You're already spending X hundreds of dollars for the session; splurge the extra five bucks for the pill and relieve your concerns if nothing else.

[TerryP]

I just wanted to add that by not posting a review of this escort, the original poster is doing a disservice by not making the rest of us aware of the situation. I realize many people are reluctant to post a negative review (this has been discussed in another thread), but really, the purpose of the site is to alert us to the pros and cons of the escorts out there.

[Funseeker 22]

>

>

>I have one client who hands me half a Viagra the moment I step

>through his door. I've never had a hard-on issue with him, so

>I do not think this is the result of any past

>(non)performance, but simply a standard practice for him.

>Given the amount of discussion around this issue, I recommend

>this practice to those concerned. You're already spending X

>hundreds of dollars for the session; splurge the extra five

>bucks for the pill and relieve your concerns if nothing else.

>

If he has a later customer and he was hired for a short session then I`m sure that the latter will be enjoying the effects of the escort`s donated blue pill. I believe it takes about an hour for that pill to chime in and if he`s paying the escort rate for what might happen- that`s one damned expensive pill.

;(

[giovoni]

I'm not sure why there is any discussion about this.. If your car stalls and you call AAA the tow-truck arrives and the driver doesn't remember to bring the jumper cables do you still pay him?

 

I'm sure this happens to everyone.. even in times when the escort is not exhausted from an overnight. It shouldn't be anything to be embarrassed about or something that is so hard to discuss that regrets blossom from the encounter like what has apparently happened here. This man is probably every bit as good as his reviews suggest as well. I can even see you wanting to pay him a bit for all the time he stayed waiting to see if he would get erect. However, such a payment should be considered a courtesy on your part and not something that he is generous to offer you. He should have offered to not take any payment from you or, if he's the kind of escort that runs so close to broke that he needs every planned encounter to pay his rent he should have offered to see you for free at a later time when he could be more assured of being prepared.

 

Gio

 

"I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend."

[nice guy]

I don't have viagra, nor do I think it's my duty as the client to supply it, just as I think the escort should be the one to bring rubbers/lube. I go to a restaurant to EAT, not help prepare the food or do the dishes.

 

I will post a review. I still liked being with that particular guy because he was passionate and seemed to try his best to make me feel good. However, I had told him ahead of time that I wanted us to get into fucking, which the reviews said he was great at. I would think if he were overextended, he would have taken a viagra himself before arriving or rescheduled. Experiences that are all good or all bad are easy to review, but ones like this are tougher.

 

Lastly, it's a bit intimidating to tell a stranger who is quite a bit taller/muscular/rougher than myself that I don't want to pay him the full amount, or anything at all. Particularly when I'm at his place. My problem is that I'm too nice a guy and nonconfrontational. Thanks for the posts!

[giovoni]

>I don't have viagra, nor do I think it's my duty as the

>client to supply it, just as I think the escort should be the

>one to bring rubbers/lube. I go to a restaurant to EAT, not

>help prepare the food or do the dishes.

 

You're absolutely right... it would be awkward to say the very least to have the fact that an escort needed Viagra thrown in your face by you having to give it to him. It actually is going to make me mildly suspicious every time I hire someone if they come with a flushed face or sounding like they have a cold.

 

>I will post a review. I still liked being with that

>particular guy because he was passionate and seemed to try his

>best to make me feel good. However, I had told him ahead of

>time that I wanted us to get into fucking, which the reviews

>said he was great at. I would think if he were overextended,

>he would have taken a viagra himself before arriving or

>rescheduled. Experiences that are all good or all bad are

>easy to review, but ones like this are tougher.

 

I think reviews like this seem more real and believable to me than the ones that sound like an angle came down from heaven to save someone's soul or that a demon came up from hell to torment someone during the session. The scenario you describe sounds much more like someone who truly wants to do a great job and just couldn't. His only mistake was in letting you pay him. It's a mistake that he could still rectify after the review is written and depending on how he takes responsibility for what happened (if it all did happen exactly as you've stated) his response could prove to be a boon to his business as well.

 

>Lastly, it's a bit intimidating to tell a stranger who is

>quite a bit taller/muscular/rougher than myself that I don't

>want to pay him the full amount, or anything at all.

>Particularly when I'm at his place. My problem is that I'm

>too nice a guy and nonconfrontational. Thanks for the posts!

 

I certainly didn't mean to imply it should have been your responsibility to bring it up. You're exactly right that the burden shouldn't have been on you. I think you would have been well within your rights to bring it up if you wished to, however.

 

 

Gio

 

"I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend."

[AaronScottDC]

Ummm,... aren't escorts hired for their time.....? ;-)

 

Aaron Scott DC

http://www.erados.com/AaronScottDC

http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/aaronscottdc.html

[BobbyThompson]

If I was unable to complete a request that I had previously agreed upon, less compensation would be fair. Of course, knowing what you wanted I would make sure to be able to deliver. I think if you are looking for something specific then you should mention it beforehand, otherwise your email might be treated as a request for time only.

 

In this day and age of little blue pills, there should never be an excuse, really.

[nice guy]

Thanks guys. I am definitely objective in my reviews or in any sort of evaluation I do. Arbitration is part of my work, so I consider myself fair almost to a fault. I'd rule against my own mother if I thought that bitch had done something wrong! Sorry mom.

 

So I guess I was hoping the escort would be the one to broach the topic of a reduced fee. Maybe I should email him again and ask him? In any event, your posts have been very helpful.

[HotdadENYC]

>So I guess I was hoping the escort would be the one to broach

>the topic of a reduced fee. Maybe I should email him again

>and ask him? In any event, your posts have been very

>helpful.

>

>

 

"Nice guy", I am sure that ultimately you will do the thing that feels right to you. If it were me, I think I would have politely and delicately broached the subject of fee reduction before the conclusion of the appointment.

 

Now that its over and that opportunity has passed, I wouldn't come right out and ask for a fee reduction at this later date; if the session was as good as you said (with one NOTABLE exception), then I would e-mail the escort and tell him how much I enjoyed myself but that I was a little disappointed that time and the agreed upon amount of money was spent, without complete satisfaction. An intuitive and service oriented escort will hopefully get the message and discuss an appropriate way to ease your disappointment.

 

Either way, I also feel very strongly that you should do the review, in all its glory. I understand that things happen. But this is a service business, not for the faint of heart, and with or without performance enhancers, if an escort doesn't measure up (pun intended) or doesn't perform AS AGREED, then potential clients have a right to know this.

 

Your review, added to the others, will demonstrate that this was either a one time thing or symptomatic of an emerging pattern that we should be on the lookout for.

 

hd NYC

[VaHawk]

How about I splurge for a jar of liquid oxygen instead, and shove the escort's limp cock into it. Oooh, might be like getting fucked with a peppermint patty! Did it break off? Sorry, here's double your fee, and I'll add it to my collection. :7

[pierrot]

This is just the kind of thing that should be posted in a review. I've just sent in a review of an escort with many good reviews who had this problem with me.

I've had a couple of others that also had the problem. Personally, I think an escort should offer a reduced price or a raincheck to the client when this happens. I also think it happens much more often than clients write about, because many of us secretly feel it's our fault that we just don't turn the escort on.

While that may be the problem, I think the more likely problem is that the escort has been booking too many clients. If that is the case, then the escort should be taking viagra on his own. It does no good for the client to bring it along since it takes an hour to work, unless the client is paying for an overnighter. It has occurred to me that I could bring it along, then if the escort can't get it up, offer him the viagra and tell him I'll be back in an hour. --That's a thought. But most escorts have a more "hustler" mentality than that, and don't want to waste the time.

Essentially the escort is offering a service he can't fulfill if he can't get it up, and a good escort should have a solution.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Bigger and More Muscular

 

>

>So I guess I was hoping the escort would be the one to broach

>the topic of a reduced fee. Maybe I should email him again

>and ask him? In any event, your posts have been very

>helpful.

 

This is a topic that has been discussed before. In my personal opinion, the escort was due some fee. However, you made it very clear that you expected a particular activity and it is an activity this escort was able to perform in the past, at least based upon his published reviews on this site.

 

Faced with a very similar situation, except that the client did not specifically state he wanted to be topped, I offered a client either a make up session or a reduced fee (I suggested fifty percent, I did not request fifty percent). In my case, I was not tired but I was still taking decogestants for a cold, plus also stressed about and packing for an impending move. I had advised my client I felt I was able to see him, but just getting over a cold and I also told him my place would be full of boxes and "be a mess" as I was in the middle of packing and moving. He, nonetheless, requested the appointment and so we proceeded. We spent more than the entire hour (more than 90 minutes, in fact) and I am the one who called the session to an end because I told him I would not be able to get to the point of topping him.

 

This is a client who has written some reviews in the past and obviously he did not feel this was a situation to write a review about, good or bad. I also do not feel your situation is one to write a review about, at least in my opinion.

 

As I understand it, you did not bring up your disappointment or dissatisfaction at the end of the session and simply paid the guy his full, agreed-upon fee.

 

I think you should, as you apparently have become aware, write to this gentlemen, point out your lack of comfort with how things were left and perhaps even provide a link to this thread. I would suggest to him that you would like a make-up session. At that point, you can both agree upon the terms for such a session.

 

 

http://www.gaydar.co.uk/francodisantis

[flguy]

Great response "P", Many of the previous responses are also correct in that we are the clients, paying to receive a service. If the service is NOT provided, in any other transaction, you would not pay until rectified. I also believe over booking causes the majority of these problems also, but then the client STILL feels it's probably his fault because of self esteem issues. As always COMMUNICATION is the key, but often is forgotten in the heat of the moment.

[nice guy]

You guys are right. I did feel like it was somehow my fault that he didn't get hard, even though I'm confident with my appearance. If I were the escort, I would have brought up the issue during the session, even suggesting we arrange another session if the client wanted it. But we both merrily went on our way enjoying each other in other ways, acting as if we didn't notice that only one of us were hard.

 

Good news. I believe the escort may have read my posting and the subsequent responses because he wrote me yesterday. He did not mention this posting, instead said, "I enjoyed meeting you and think you are a very nice and sexy man." (maybe he was trying to make me realize that it wasn't my fault for him not getting hard?) "But I went back and looked at your email you sent before our meeting and you said that you wanted us to flip-fuck in this session. Since I'm a top, I said that I'd fuck you. As you know, it didn't happen as I was so tired. Can I make it up to you in another session? No charge. Thank you and I look forward to seeing you again."

 

I just responded to him that yes, I'd like to take him up on the offer. And to use a comment from some of your postings, I said that "I'd bring a Viagra too!" He said he found that funny, but to "Believe me when I say that I won't need it. But that YOU may need to be sitting on a pillow for a week after I'm done with you!"

 

Guys, I think this may turn out to have a VERY happy ending for me afterall!

 

Thanks a lot.

[Johninpdx]

No offense, giovani. If you call AAA, you shouldn't have to pay the driver. That's why you pay AAA for the membership.

[Johninpdx]

Little blue pills are not meant for everyone. For instance, people who suffer from migraines should not take them.

[Guest ncm2169]

< YOU may need to be sitting on a pillow for a week after I'm done with you!

 

< this may turn out to have a VERY happy ending for me

 

A very happy ENDing indeed! }(