Guys : little help in preparing for my first time ?? please...

[noviceny]

Kind of embarassing for me but the question must be asked. I have never had sex with a man (oral or anal), but I believe that I will during the next month or so. I am totally perplexed about the use (necessity?) of enemas, when to use them, eating after using the enema, etc. When I heard about all of this, my first response was "Fuck THis!!!" seems like to much trouble. However It would really be foolish of me not to try at least once.

 

So, just like a kid going to his dad to talk about condoms. I come before you with this question, "What is the preparation that is required before receiving anal sex ?"

 

Thanks a lot guys; this will be important for me

[basket]

Aren't you the guy who has been posting about all of his sexual encounters with Gaiety dancers?

[noviceny]

Hey Basket,

 

My encounters with the dancers never proceeded further than a body worship and a handjob. To date, I have never kissed (or been kissed), fucked (or been fucked), blown (or been blown) by a guy...any guy...including an escort.

 

Looking for info on my "first time" I mean my first time having sex (anal).

 

Thanks a lot

[guptasa1]

As someone who's explored this rather recently, I think I can hopefully give you a helpful answer.

 

First it all, it depends on you (regularity, etc.) and if you're generally pretty clean in there. I've heard a lot of guys say they don't feel an enema is necessary before anal sex.

 

That said, anymore, I always like to use one. For one, it gives me peace of mind. It's much easier for me to relax and enjoy the sex without having to worry about that. Two, before I started this practice, I had some not-as-clean-as-I'd-like experiences (nothing disasterous or awful...just something where it could have been better without that, and let's face it - most people prefer no mess at all if it can be avoided). Fortunately, I got some good advice here and also from my favorite escort that eventually became the practice below.

 

If you want a cheap, pretty effective, and easy solution, I just would pick up some Fleet enemas (come in a green two-pack). If you're uncomfortable getting these at your local drugstore, you can get them online at places like drugstore.com (where I actually do a lot of shopping - good stuff). One thing to note - be careful not to use them TOO often (I'd try to limit it to a couple times a week at most) as frequent enema use can be harmful, but as long as you're not doing it every day, you should be fine - I've had no problems.

 

If you want to get used to it, you may even consider practicing at home with one once (and then exploring anally if you'd like to since you'll be clean anyhow - lol). After taking care of everything you can the old fashioned way, I generally use the entire contents and hold it in for 5 minutes before expelling it (diagrams of most effective ways on the packaging). That's actually easier said than done and I don't always make it (usually around 4 it gets pretty hard). Then evacuate, and if you choose, to make sure you're extra clean you can fill up the bottle with water (mild temperature) and apply it for a minute or two, then expel. It's easy, takes all of 10 minutes to do, and leaves me pretty darn clean. (I have found the longer you can hold them to that 5 minute mark, the better they seem to work...at least for me, but even after a couple minutes they make a big difference.)

 

Anyways, that'd be my suggestion. It's a little awkward to ask to clean out when you're with an escort, but in my experience they understand and are very nice about it (and probably appreciative).

 

Also, for your first time, just take it slow and let the escort know you're inexperienced. It might be a good idea to play around a bit anally yourself if you haven't to get an idea of what to expect. And don't give up if it hurts at first...it passes quickly. (Though if you take it slow enough and relax, you can probably skip the pain altogether.)

 

Just my two cents. Hope you find it helpful!

[noviceny]

Gup,

 

You are truly the man !!!! After so many people viewing my question, but no one answering, I figured I was out of luck. Thanks a lot for answering.

 

Things that made me laugh :

 

"One thing to note - be careful not to use them TOO often (I'd try to limit it to a couple times a week at most) as frequent enema use can be harmful, but as long as you're not doing it every day, you should be fine - I've had no problems." This cracked me up cause I imagined myself getting fucked once and becoming a butt addict sitting in my room with a case of enemas !!!

 

"And don't give up if it hurts at first...it passes quickly."

That is pretty much the same advice I had given to about 3 of my ex girlfriends since they were virgins (vaginally)

 

 

I have just saved your info on my laptop and again, thanks a lot for taking the time. Dont know if my Dad would have known the answer, but since he's already disturbed by the fact that Im gay, I figured I better not ask him :-)

[guptasa1]

LOL. No, I don't think I'd ask my parents about enemas. =oP I can just see *that* conversation with the 'rents.

 

One thing I forgot to mention. Some people recommend having sex 30 minutes to an hour after an enema like this. For me, I've found there's really no issue doing it right away after as long as you verify you're empty and "feel good". I generally like to give it 5-10 minutes since it can feel a little odd afterwards (tiny bit uncomfy...but not bad, and it passes quickly within a couple minutes).

 

Oh, and another product I recommend is Charmin Freshmates. Basically, these are flushable wet wipes, but they work nice to leave you fresh and get you cleaner than regular TP. (I should note while flushable, don't use too many at once - they CAN cause plumbing problems in some systems.) With an enema, both aren't really needed, but can't hurt either, and they work well for maintenance/cleaning up after sex/etc. lol.

 

(Oh, and I hope you don't mind that I'm not an escort - just thought I could add something here even if it is the "Ask An Escort" forum. heh)

[noviceny]

Gup,

 

It doesnt matter that youre not an escort...Im just glad someone answered me !!!!

 

Also, the baby wipes thing is awesome...I was originally turned on to them by an ex who told me that she used them after peeing, and I have used them for my balls and ass (excuse the indelicate speech).

 

Thanks a lot man !!!

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey Noviceny.

 

Of course as always, Guptasa has given you very sound advise. However I think that we often think that we are "ready" for sex, because it is something that has to do with instinct, and we "should know how".

Lately, they have began to realize that not even breast feeding is something that mothers know how to do instinctively. So... What was I talking about?

 

Oh, yes... anal sex.

 

When you were growing up, you learned how to please yourself genitally. You stroked your cock, found the sensitive spots, learned about the right rythm for you and what felt good. Now, you are an expert when it comes to pleasing Willy. Your little rose pucker deserves exactly the same attention.

Unfortunately due to the taboos related to anal sex, homosexuality and our overall body shame, very few people (if any) have learned about their asses by first hand experience. (Non pun intended) Most of us have trusted others to show us how to get pleasure from our ass, and of course, the result is not always the best.

 

My advise, is really simple. Play with yourself. With a lot of lubrication, play with the exterior of your asshole, begin to open it, introduce one, two or as many fingers as you feel comfortable with, get a slim little dildo, and be as patient as you can. It is NOT about achievements, it is not about getting the whole 17 inches inside! It is just about finding what feels good for you.

 

When you have one finger or 17 inches of latex inside, try to contract your sphincters, try to relax then, move the dildo or your hand in different angles trying to find sensitive spots. Take a break with the thing inside you, jump, dance, sing a cristmas carol, or do whatever you think that might give you insight about what feels good. :9

 

Whenever you feel ready, (Can be after the first session or experimentation of maybe after several weeks), when you feel that you know what your ass likes, and you feel familiar with it, go and seek a partner to try anal sex with, and I can assure you that since you are comfortable with what you are, like and feel, you will have a great experience.

 

Douche, if you think it is necessary, and before the encounter, insert one finger as deep as you can with a generous amount of lube, so you are moist and ready. Breath as deep as you can trying to relax your ass while the penetration is hapenning, and rememeber: this is about YOUR enjoyment. It is suposed to feel great!

 

But of course, now you know how to make it feel great!

 

Happy exploring!

[noviceny]

Juan,

 

Damn kid !!!! Thanks a lot...that is incredible advice!!

 

Yeah, I know that I should play around a bit. The funny thing is that I kind of feel embarassed. You are definitely right about social taboos and messages that you received as a child/teen. However, fuck it, I will do as you suggest since it makes a lot of sense.

 

Appreciate the time you took to write this. Also, I wont be trying anything immediately since I dont think I am totally ready. Looking to try soon though.

 

Again Thanks !!!

[Juan Vancouver]

Touch yourself there!!!

 

Well, handsome, you made my day.

 

If I know that somewhere, someone is getting off because of something that I said, I feel absolutely fulfilled.

 

I know, the taboos are so strongly imbeded in our souls. We work hard to get over them and find what is right for us... and still we might be hearing our teacher's/mother's/nanny'/s voices in our head:

 

"You wicked child... DONT TOUCH YOURSELF THERE!!" ;(

 

I personally try to erase the word "DONT" in their scream, and all of a sudden it becomes an order:

 

"Touch yourself there!"

 

"Explore what feels good!"

 

"Learn to please yourself!"

 

How beautiful would the world be in we all were taught that while growing.

 

Happy experimenting, stud!

[Spida]

You rec'd some great advice from both Gus.. and Juan.. I was pleased to read it since I am a butt novice also. I have bottomed a few times one was very good the others hurt.

 

The biggest piece of advice I can give you is be really turned on! foreplay is important to a guy who is about to bottom. I realized if you are not used to it, you can't just do it! (I sound like a woman I want foreplay and romance;-) Take your time, and get turned on! It could be great! Work through the pain if it is there, and it could be better either later or the next time.

 

If you really are gay then go for it! I waited way too long for what is now the best time of my life! If you need to make up time that you missed then go for it and have a blast making up the time!

[bigguyinpasadena]

Restraints and a gag and a room full of horny guys-you'll be back for more before you can say BUTTPLUG!

[+ Lucky]

RE: Guys ?? please...

 

Bigguy in restraints and gagged! That would make Cooper's day!

[Spida]

Damned bigguy when is your next party?? "I am there"! Sounds like fun!

[abiggone]

HEY I have a question. I will be in NYC in couple of weeks. Going to a show and then seeing an escort afterwards. If I "CLEAN UP" before the show will I still be okay. Really need to know. Jason

[guptasa1]

Depends on how long the show is. I had tried using an enema the morning before a session later that afternoon/evening (mostly because I was traveling and was embarassed at the time about doing it after I met him), but it wasn't really effective by that time and isn't something I'd do again (though that was admittedly several hours).

 

I think your best bet would be to use an enema within an hour of seeing the escort if you can (or excusing yourself to do it after you meet him and before the fun starts).

 

Your other option would be to...well...practice. Figure out how much time between using the enema before the show and seeing the escort, and then play it out, using an enema and seeing if after that period of time, you're still as clean as you want to be. (And it'll give you a good excuse for dildo practice if you have one - lol). That should give you some indication if it'll work well enough when you need it to. =o)

[noviceny]

Thanks for trying Anton...very cool of you

 

Couldnt retrieve it, but its the thought that counts !!

[noviceny]

Anton,

 

Thanks a lot man !!!!! I got it and saved it

 

 

Thanks !!

[+ Lucky]

"I have never had sex with a man (oral or anal), but I believe that I will during the next month or so.'

 

 

So did you get fucked or not? How did it come out?

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Inquiring Minds Want To Know

 

>"I have never had sex with a man (oral or anal), but I

>believe that I will during the next month or so.'

>

>So did you get fucked or not? How did it come out?

 

Hopefully, clean and fresh, and if the right condom was used, with just a hint of mint.

 

http://www.gaydar.co.uk/francodisantis

[noviceny]

RE: Inquiring Minds Want To Know

 

Nope, no sex yet, but I promise you guys will be one of the first to know.

 

I have decided that I will go with a professional, but not sure about which one. Reading reviews and there is a guy who I saw before who was really great and I think might be very good for a first time. Also, Eric (NYC) looks like he might be cool or Adam (PR guy in NYC).

 

The advice you guys have given me has been great. I really had no one else to ask...dont have gay friends (actually I have one but he's in MI and we lost touch) so this has been very helpful.

 

Cant remember who gave me the suggestion about buttplay but I began my "exploration" It freaked me out at first, but its coming along nicely :-)

[rocky]

This has been a very good forum. I've often

had the same question since I'm relatively

new at this. How do you prepare for what might

be anal sex, you want to be clean (sorry about

that folks but that's the truth) and if you are

new at this it ain't easy. I had the same

question when I had my first overnight not

so long ago; I didn't want to be embarrassed

in the morning and people in this forum were

great to assist..best, Rocky

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey Noviceny!

I have been opening this thread now and then, hoping that you will let us know the outcome of your first try... I am dying to know how it went!

Keep us posted, man!

[JT Brooklyn]

It has been about 4 weeks now. I hope Some guy in NYC made Noviceny Smile by now. BUT if he didn't ask the "right questions" up front, he might not want to relive the experience with us?:+ :+ :+

[noviceny]

JT

 

As we speak I am writing about my first (two) times :-)

 

I tried two different guys from my list and it was definitely education

 

Should be posted within the hour, or for us East Coasters, by the end of Will and Grace