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Do you think it is harder as a top or bottom to find a provider that meets your needs?


Isrhunter

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1 hour ago, Isrhunter said:

As a top I feel like often times a provider who is my taste but come to find out he is a top/dominant only. Do you feel that it is easier for us who are tops or for those of us who are bottoms? 

It's VERY hard as a TOP client to find a HOT, MUSCULAR bottom provider. 

thought I had found the PERFECT GUY recently, but after a few months of 'getting to know each other,' he's completely ghosted me. I am debating sharing his name here. 

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3 minutes ago, Todd Jenkins said:

It's VERY hard as a TOP client to find a HOT, MUSCULAR bottom provider. 

thought I had found the PERFECT GUY recently, but after a few months of 'getting to know each other,' he's completely ghosted me. I am debating sharing his name here. 

If you have had conversations or even met, and he has decided to stop talking to you, I would say keep your peace. He has decided to move on. An explanation would have been nice, but I don't think he is under any obligation to give you one. Either of you could have done that. If, on the other hand he has ghosted you on an appointment, it's not unreasonable to share that information here.

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As a bottom, I sometimes find that providers who top have a script in mind that isn't necessarily what I'm looking for. I also find many of them present themselves as "masc" and humorless. I'm attracted to a variety of gender expression but lack of humor is a turn off.  But I don't necessarily fault those providers because gay male culture mostly regards masculinity as superior to femininity. And we've seen even on here people besmirching femme or just not uber butch providers. 

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L

17 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

As a bottom, I sometimes find that providers who top have a script in mind that isn't necessarily what I'm looking for. I also find many of them present themselves as "masc" and humorless. I'm attracted to a variety of gender expression but lack of humor is a turn off.  But I don't necessarily fault those providers because gay male culture mostly regards masculinity as superior to femininity. And we've seen even on here people besmirching femme or just not uber butch providers. 

Yes.  Too few tops get that it is about pleasure for &  sharing control with both top & bottom. I am vers & I think that helps me to know both sides of the situation. 

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18 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

As a bottom, I sometimes find that providers who top have a script in mind that isn't necessarily what I'm looking for. I also find many of them present themselves as "masc" and humorless. I'm attracted to a variety of gender expression but lack of humor is a turn off.  But I don't necessarily fault those providers because gay male culture mostly regards masculinity as superior to femininity. And we've seen even on here people besmirching femme or just not uber butch providers. 

I too find that a number of tops seem to feel they have to be overly serious. It's not like we're getting together to propagate the species here. In my case it's about experiencing the unique pleasure of being with another man. I enjoy that connection and often laugh with joy during get togethers. Some tops get it and it's a blast (Alex Ward & Joshnineplus for example). Some more serious tops take my expression of joy as some sort of negative comment on their performance. Those gentleman tend to go in my "too bad, so sad" file. 

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I've never hired a top...but I would expect that they were the more difficult match.

I remember when I was younger, ( and would bottom for older men ) there was a BIG range of skills amongst top men.

The only thing I ask of a bottom is to NOT lay there like road-kill. The rest I can manage on my own.

 

Edited by pubic_assistance
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On 4/7/2022 at 10:31 AM, Todd Jenkins said:

It's VERY hard as a TOP client to find a HOT, MUSCULAR bottom provider. 

thought I had found the PERFECT GUY recently, but after a few months of 'getting to know each other,' he's completely ghosted me. I am debating sharing his name here. 

So were you just communicating those few months of getting to know each other, or did you actually meet up several times over those few months, like him, and then he ghosted you?

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