Scrap Books and Latex

[Traveller]

I save every one of the used condoms (all magnums, of course) from each of the escorts that have plowed me and paste them in scrap books. I have thirteen so far, but each has only 100 pages - both sides being used, naturally. I was wondering if escorts find this an invasion of their privacy. Please advise in three sentences or less. Thanks.

 

Later.

 

PS. Before pasting the condom in my book, I usually spread the cum evenly throughout the condom so that the pages of the books fit more closely together after the juice has dried. Should I continue to do that or should I leave the jism mostly at the tip for a more natural look? This is for posterity and the Smithsonian has shown interest. Thanks again.

[Guest DevonSFescort]

> I was wondering if escorts find this an invasion of their

>privacy.

 

I wouldn't. If I'd plowed you, I mean.

 

>PS. Before pasting the condom in my book, I usually spread

>the cum evenly throughout the condom so that the pages of

>the books fit more closely together after the juice has

>dried. Should I continue to do that or should I leave the

>jism mostly at the tip for a more natural look? This is for

>posterity and the Smithsonian has shown interest. Thanks

>again.

 

Keep spreading the cum evenly, unless you want to add to the Smithsonian's already considerable conservation worries re the care and display of such fragile material. I'd also do some research on how an escort's diet affects the archival properties of his spunk.

[N.N.]

Do you keep the ones that break?

 

If none broke out of 2000+ fucks, what's your secret?

[Bilbo]

Since my dog eats my used condoms if I let him get at them, your exhibit won't have any competition from an exhibit of all the condoms I've used fucking clients. Have you ever had to fight over one of the condoms with an escort? Did you just bluster through with something like "my money, my condom"?

 

(3 sentences exactly!)

[jacobno]

make sure you use acid free paper to avoid a slight yellowing through the years and to keep the latex nice and stretchy. a small square of damp sponge will revive the scent nicely making a momento for years to come. also be sure to date the specimen and give a detailed account of the location, time of year, typical range, etc.

[+ deej]

Ah yes, lovely Jacob, be sure to use acid-free paper but has anyone checked the pH levels of cum (or the dietary or chemical effects on it)? Or the lube that may linger? (Not mention whatever else may be on the condom after the fact. }> )

 

Then there's storage in an appropriately climate-controlled environment for maximum longevity. Uncle Otto's humidor simply will not do!

 

There's much to consider here.

[jacobno]

cum itself is alkaline...ever noticed that bleachy smell of someone with exceptionally pungeant fluids. so possibly a slightly acidic paper would counteract it or balance it out. I would suggest keeping it stored in a cool dry place until time for viewing, at which time one should slowly raise the ambient air temparature and humidity so as to release the aromatic essences of man's essence. now waft the odor towards your nose.. doesn't that bring back memories...

 

Cum, it's a good thing.

[buttnovice]

Wow, thirteen volumes! Wondering how many years this edition covers? The older volumes of tradional bindings on my shelves have a wonderful aged look, some even bound in leather, great patina, worn out in just the right places. However as they get older, they tend to take on a certain musty quality that could be considered classic. Curious how your collection will fare over time?

[Guest Thunderbuns]

Will somone please tell me that this whole thread is a huge send-up?

If it's meant as humor I don't get it - if it's for real, then I just don't know what to make of it. However the word "sick" does spring to mind! (Not that I'm judging)

 

Thunderbuns

[Michael]

>

>Will somone please tell me that this whole thread is a huge send-up?

>If it's meant as humor I don't get it

>

Yes!!!

 

On their own, threads like this are just mildly amusing.

It's the fact that there is always at least one person

who "doesn't get it" that makes them *really* funny!!

 

:-) :-) :-)

[Traveller]

>Will somone please tell me that this whole thread is a huge

>send-up?

>If it's meant as humor I don't get it - if it's for real,

>then I just don't know what to make of it. However the word

>"sick" does spring to mind! (Not that I'm judging)

 

This is totally serious dude; and who made you the arbiter ot "taste." All bet you also believe that Damien Hirst is one ultimately responsible for mad cow disease.

 

Later.

 

PS. I've decided to arrange my used condom collection by season with the corn covered ones, of course, representing summer; the ones smelling of asparagus for spring, etc.

 

PPS. TB, Wal-Mart told me to tell you that your new walker is in and that they can deliver it at whatever time is convenient for you.

[Guest AsianConsort]

I believe latex is sensitive to light. You should be sure to protect your collection from it. Keep your volumes in a temperature and humidity controlled glass cabinet. Then cover all the glass surfaces with heavy black-out velvet cloth. You may want to turn to different pages of the volumes every week or so. This way your visitors can examine different sets of condoms during each visit. When showing your collection be sure to use only soft indirect light and carefully lift the velvet curtain. Make the visits short so as not to expose your collection with light for too long. Hey! I would be honored to be invited to visit your collection.

 

-- David

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>PPS. TB, Wal-Mart told me to tell you that your new walker

>is in and that they can deliver it at whatever time is

>convenient for you.

 

Very kind of you to take the time to deliver a Wal-Mart message. Must have me confused with someone else. My walker is still in good condition and therefore I don't need a new one yet. It's only 23 years old, has blond hair, bubble butt, big dick and sofar has managed to keep me from falling down when crossing the road. It's name is Chris Savage and I would highly recommend that you get a similar model just in case..........

 

Thunderbuns

[Traveller]

>Very kind of you to take the time to deliver a Wal-Mart

>message. Must have me confused with someone else. My walker

>is still in good condition and therefore I don't need a new

>one yet. It's only 23 years old, has blond hair, bubble

>butt, big dick and sofar has managed to keep me from falling

>down when crossing the road. It's name is Chris Savage and I

>would highly recommend that you get a similar model just in

>case..........

 

I prefer a skeleton. Can't wait for Wed. night's replays. By Thurs. night, I'll be in SLC watching the women's skating finals. Is Clifford Cortese's cock 7 or 8? And how is Leo Bramm in the rack? These are much more important issues than Kwan's ankle strength.

 

Later.

[Guest Ant415]

He said three sentances. This is very simple. Because you are new you will get some slack.

[Guest Ant415]

Trav,

 

What a brilliant idea for cataloging your tricks over the years. Your project is also very plumbing and environmentally friendly. One can also see the advances in condom design and textures over the years.

 

Myself, I like to stretch the condoms out, and tack to the ceiling in my bathroom. It sets a eery yet frivolous mood in an otherwise drab room. I call the room "La Cueva" (the cave) due the faux stalagtites (sp).

[Guest Dan]

And all i do with mine is fill them with water and throw them off the roof at little old ladies.

[Guest AsianConsort]

Oh! I thought the 3 sentences limit was for responding to the "privacy invasion" question. I am writing about technical advice on preservation. Sooooo sorry! What's my punishment Ant?

 

-- David

[Guest Joey Ciccone]

>I save every one of the used condoms (all magnums, of course) from each of the escorts that have plowed me and paste them in scrap books.<

 

A scratch and sniff porn diary. What a novel idea!

 

>I was wondering if escorts find this an invasion of their privacy.<

 

No more invasive than the accumulation of said condoms. Again, I think it's a great idea. Happy collecting!

[Bilbo]

I can just imagine Ant's cave with a special section of glow in the darks displayed on black velvet, in the shape of the "Milky" Way.

[Guest Derrick]

The forensic abilities are endless in this scrapbook.....I mean if

you ever had a question about one of them, imagine what could be

uncovered.........}>

 

Derrick

[Guest MikeConway]

Thats very funny as my dog does the same thing, Once after fucking a client, I put the condom on the window frame above the bed and when I let her in the room, she ran right up on the bed and scooped it up. I am now saying that my dog has had more condoms in her than I have....now thats saying something:)

[Guest Dan]

>The forensic abilities are endless in this scrapbook.....I

>mean if

>you ever had a question about one of them, imagine what

>could be

>uncovered.........}>

>

>Derrick

 

Derrick,

 

What a great idea for the X Files series finale!

 

Dan

 

:9

[Matt_Vancouver]

>I save every one of the used condoms (all magnums, of

>course) from each of the escorts that have plowed me and

>paste them in scrap books.

 

Only Magnums... Trav I'm disappointed in you.... I expected only MagnumXL to be up your 'alley'

 

Matt(back from thailand, just turned 29....again! and prefers MagnumXL,,,, the others are just too tight: )

 

And I specifically remember picking mine up off the floor, it's in MY "Scrapbook of Scumbags" ....coming soon to better bookshops everywhere

*scumbags refers to condoms... not traveller: )

 

ah it's good to be back!

[Guest quester]

I don't think that the cataloguing of used condoms would consitute an invasion of privacy, unless you plan to use the genetic material to clone the escort, or try to patent genes, or donate the ejuculate to a sperm bank. However, I am not a legal expert(and everyone else in this thread seems to be a spunk archivist or spunk conservationist), therefore you should seek qualified legal advice before continuing with your edifying project.

 

As I have one sentence left, may I ask if you salvage any of the fecal matter attached to your condoms - because I have almost a jam jar full, and would be greatful for any contributions.