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The Uninvited


Lankypeters
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When I make a little joke like that, I then worry that some will take it seriously, so for those, I am just kidding about deej. He's kind of the guru here and I am sure there is not a chance he would be uninvited. For that matter, though, why not invite everybody back?

 

I used to enjoy Beware of Nick's posts, ncm contributed a lot, Rock Hard is always good for another opinion, namely, HIS*, and a few others who contribute but occasionally cross a line. Why not give them all another chance?

 

*Controversy can be fun, you know, when nicely done.

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>When I make a little joke like that, I then worry that some

>will take it seriously, so for those, I am just kidding about

>deej. He's kind of the guru here and I am sure there is not a

>chance he would be uninvited. For that matter, though, why not

>invite everybody back?

>

>I used to enjoy Beware of Nick's posts, ncm contributed a lot,

>Rock Hard is always good for another opinion, namely, HIS*,

>and a few others who contribute but occasionally cross a line.

>Why not give them all another chance?

>

>*Controversy can be fun, you know, when nicely done.

 

 

Points well made, especially the last. That's why we log on.

 

 

Lankypeters

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>Other than deej, I am unaware of anyone not being invited back. Have you heard otherwise?

 

...When I make a little joke like that, I then worry that some will take it seriously...

 

Gosh, I forgot over the past couple of weeks of about your odd sense of humor. Thanks for posting the clarification because I'm one of the stupid ones that did take you seriously.

 

I'm totally clueless about what caused the latest meltdown. So, your first post was totally believable.

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My having an odd sense of humor doesn't mean that you are stupid, it just means that I have an odd sense of humor. I like to call it dry, but that's me. From my thinking, the idea that deej would be uninvited is so absurd as not to be believed, but others might approach it from the angle that anything could happen around here, why not deej? See what I mean?

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How can we afford to reactivate people that think it's funny to reveal personal information? Perhaps somehow we can unring a bell that can cost somebody their job, their relationship, or their home.

 

How can we afford to reactivate people that find it amusing to harass moderators, administrators, and owners simply because they enforce the the liberal rules of the Message Center? We average several new users each week, but it's been over three years since anyone has accepted moderator status.

 

How can we afford to reactivate people that feel they have the right to stalk somebody? We've had two instances in the near past. In my opinion both involved miscommunications, easily solved if the stalker had simply listened.

 

Amazingly enough I've covered most of my hot buttons. So give me a proposal that makes it worth the cost and I'll put it in front of the moderators and we'll see if we concur.

 

Controversy can be fun, as long as everybody respects the rules, the people that enforces those rules, and the other users.

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Prepare a list of rules (one general rule to follow the main rules and then the rules which would encompass the individual's past violations, then ask them to verify that they will abide those rules. If they say yes, then give them the chance. They can make the most of it or not.

 

But sometimes in the course of events, people get carried away and do things that they might not have done had the temperament been different.

If they have shown themselves to be good contributors until then, why make them grovel to get back in? Acknowledge that we can all get carried away at some point. Another option is to keep their comments moderated for a period of time to see how sincere they are about following the rules. It's just an idea.

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By the standards of almost every other Internet MC, this is one of the most liberal. Leave things the way they are. If Lucky wants to give people more chances, perhaps he can become a moderator.

 

True Story: I was banned for life from Television Without Pity for asking why the weekly review of "Survivor" was not up yet on a Wednesday, the day before the next episode was to air. It was against the rules set in the FAQs to question tardy reviewers. I just accepted it & moved on.

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I noticed at the Palm Springs Event that there was zero support for allowing the "troublemakers" to stay at the message center, Thus my idea here, to see if in fact there is any support for allowing them to return. The answer is clearly not, which has ramifications of its own. I might have taken a kinder direction, but you don't see that idea here.

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I am very happy the board is back up and running. I have always felt the main reason I enjoy this board over the other bored is just that. The other is boring, this has a bit of edge to it. Secondly escorts regularly participate here, not over there. Having escorts participate has allowed me to interact with many guys that has helped enhance meetings and get a feel for where they are coming from. One complaint, can we please get spell check added. I feel really stupid after posting and see I had several spelling errors. When I write my mind is usually a sentance ahead of my hands.

"Damn it I did it again!"

 

I totally understand that moderating a board is time consuming. I am not computer development savy. I actually expect more and usually get less. One thing I have noticed in my 6 years reading through this site and its original HooBoy is like Lucky says people get agitated and say things they might not normally. If there was a way to limit the number of times you can respond in a thread. That might help curb the escallation. I really see no need to have more than two entries in a thread. Make your point and move on.

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>Prepare a list of rules (one general rule to follow the main

>rules and then the rules which would encompass the

>individual's past violations, then ask them to verify that

>they will abide those rules. If they say yes, then give them

>the chance. They can make the most of it or not.

>

>But sometimes in the course of events, people get carried away

>and do things that they might not have done had the

>temperament been different.

>If they have shown themselves to be good contributors until

>then, why make them grovel to get back in? Acknowledge that we

>can all get carried away at some point. Another option is to

>keep their comments moderated for a period of time to see how

>sincere they are about following the rules. It's just an

>idea.

 

But Lucky once in a while is very different then consistently attacking someone, be that person escort or client. I feel that for the most part most of yes play nicely. Sure sometimes some of us (myself included) get caught up in the moment and do say something that was not nice and we've been swatted on the hand. But having someone on here consistently doing things that are not appropriate I don't feel is OK. Daddy, Cooper, Barry and maybe to a lesser extent DJ have lives outside the mc and I don't think it would be fair to them to have to double or maybe even triple up their mod duties to make sure a couple people play nice. Spring and summer are coming up and I know that if I were in one of their shoes and I had to babysit the mc just about every hour I would be one cranky person. So I have to agree with what Daddy wrote. It is too bad that some of those that couldn't be more civil are gone because when they were civil it was enjoyable and I enjoyed their posts.

 

Hugs,

Greg

SF 3/26 & 3/29 http://seaboy4hire.tripod.com

[email protected]

Your low rent escort :)http://www.daddysreviews.com/newest.php?who=greg_seattle

http://www.rockbox.org/mail/archive/rockbox-archive-2008-07/att-0126/Sheeple.gif

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Greg

I believe that Daddy is looking for some more west coast moderators who could pick up some of the slack. No doubt, we have had some bad ones. But do we ban those who contributed a lot, only to lose it one day or for awhile as tempers rose? These are people whom we know have a lot to contribute, but can't always stay in the lines drawn to keep their behavior appropriate.

It does look like the membership would cast them all aside.

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I am happy to see the message center back.

 

This topic predates my participation here since even way back then there were discussions about how to manage those posters who could not manage themselves.

I recall at that time that all newcomers were put on moderated status until such time as they could prove by their posts that they could play nice. I am not sure how long the original probation was to last, but in my case I believe it was about three months before I could post something that would appear immediately on the MC. Perhaps the new software will allow that.

BUT, it seems that flame wars and outbursts are seldom newcomers (oh the occasional new handle will come in with old grudges). No, the wars are mostly posters already established. EVERYONE has a bad day. EVERYONE has buttons so it's not hard to understand that EVERYONE is going to take off after someone for some presumed slur. Even myself, and yes even Lucky has had these kinds of days. After you have a chance to step back and get a hold on yourself, you make the appropriate apologies and move on. These cases are not the bulk of the problem IMHO.

 

Where the most damage is done is when someone with an attitude or grudge decides that today would be a good day to blast away and we're off to the races.

 

Trying to make adults behave like adults on an internet forum is like trying to herd cats. That is why this topic comes up so often. Because there is really no way to stop an adult from losing his cool. IT HAPPENS. The only thing that can be done is for the owner of any given site to state his rules and expectations, set the lines and decide the punishment (which has been done by the owner of this site and others) .

 

If asked, I would come down on the side of free speech not restricted. I would come down on the side of letting people express their ideas and feelings freely until they cross a line and then the 2nd time they are banned. There are certain lines that must never be crossed and they have to do with personal information. Once is all you get if it is malicious. As for the rest, well, a good bitch slap fight is sometimes a fun way to lift sagging spirits and speaking strictly as a spectator of these gay rituals, sometimes I need a good laugh.

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Sadly, there's a flip side to this "uninvited" thread. Those of you who have been posting/lurking here for years know that our active membership is down and so are the number of posts. Some Forums used to have several new threads a day, now, these same forums are lucky to get one or two replies a day.

 

Think back to those threads that began, "Whatever happened to...?" Well, some told me they stopped posting simply because they lost interest or became bored, others told me it was the bad behavior of a few who spoiled it for others. They objected to the constant hijacking of threads and the personal attacks... The moderators and administrators listened and had to make some difficult decisions: which was more important, keeping around a few bad apples who ruined it for others or keeping the majority of members around to post freely without fear of personal attacks and name calling.

 

The Moderator's Forum is filled with alerts we've received and had to take action on. Fortunately, only a few members have been deactivated. It takes more than "one bad day" to get someone deactivated from this site.

 

Coop

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>Prepare a list of rules (one general rule to follow the main

>rules and then the rules which would encompass the

>individual's past violations, then ask them to verify that

>they will abide those rules. If they say yes, then give them

>the chance. They can make the most of it or not.

 

We actually have that, and a three-strike rule before permanent banishment. Intentionally. People are allowed to screw up once and come back without groveling.

 

During our last rules re-write I argued to add an infraction expiration so that a timeout five years ago would be forgiven but nobody thought that would be a good idea.

 

>But sometimes in the course of events, people get carried away

>and do things that they might not have done had the

>temperament been different.

 

And that's why we have a 3-strike rule.

 

>If they have shown themselves to be good contributors until

>then, why make them grovel to get back in?

 

We don't. We spank them and send them to their rooms like naughty boys for 30 days, but they don't have to grovel.

 

>Acknowledge that we

>can all get carried away at some point. Another option is to

>keep their comments moderated for a period of time to see how

>sincere they are about following the rules. It's just an

>idea.

 

We do acknowledge that. We even institutionalized it. But some people have proven over time that they cannot live within the published rules. After 3 re-tries, we're done. We're wasting our time otherwise.

 

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me three times, bite me. }(

 

I think that's fair.

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Guest zipperzone

>If there was a way to limit the number of

>times you can respond in a thread. That might help curb the

>escallation. I really see no need to have more than two

>entries in a thread. Make your point and move on.

 

I don't think that is fair. If a civil discussion is taking place and different points are raised that you want to expand upon, why should you be cut off just because you have had two previous posts?

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"Mr Cooper,

I believe the moderators have all done a great job in keeping things in check here."

 

Thanks Mr. J Hammer,

 

Fortunately, most members here abide by the rules and show respect to others. Many of us have become friends both on and off the m/c. The NY chapter of Hooville is still very active and meets on a regular basis at the 20 Club. It's a great group to hang with especially when it comes to escort recommendations.

 

IMO, the best way to help out the moderators is by using the NYPD motto on terrorism, lol, "if you see something, say something"... Sending an "alert", which reaches all the moderators and administrators, is the best way to nip something in the bud.

 

Coop

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