Tipping Etiquette

[Jamie21]

Sorry, but if I pay a guy $300 an hour, I am not going to tip. How many people make $300 an hour?

Plenty of guys make $300 an hour. Anyway, they’re not just working for the hour they’re with you. An hours booking (in call) for me takes at least two hours out of my time. The cost also represents the time a provider puts in to prepare for your meeting, the time and money he spends on personal care (gym, wax, cosmetics etc), time taking pics and promoting himself. Then there’s taxes. Take all that into consideration and the $300 you refer to ends up as $150. If a client tips me I feel that I went beyond their expectations and am certainly going to make sure they get great service next time. For example if they book a time and I’m busy I’ll move things around to fit their schedule. I wouldn’t necessarily do that for someone who didn’t tip.

[CalTec]

This thread just reminded me of something that happened years back when I was first starting out. A new client who became a regular over the years first tipped me a rather handsome amount extra in the envelope. I contacted him after counting it and asked him if he miscounted, and he replied no and thanks for reaching out about it. Years later when we got a lot closer he mentioned that tip and said it was a test of honesty, character, something along those lines. He said most of his hires dont say anything and thank him generally for the meet without acknowledging the extra stack.

Any clients on here ever done this as a test? I thought it was interesting that the majority just sat pretty with their bonus and with no acknowledgement.

[Islesguy]

This thread just reminded me of something that happened years back when I was first starting out. A new client who became a regular over the years first tipped me a rather handsome amount extra in the envelope. I contacted him after counting it and asked him if he miscounted, and he replied no and thanks for reaching out about it. Years later when we got a lot closer he mentioned that tip and said it was a test of honesty, character, something along those lines. He said most of his hires dont say anything and thank him generally for the meet without acknowledging the extra stack.

Any clients on here ever done this as a test? I thought it was interesting that the majority just sat pretty with their bonus and with no acknowledgement.

Never have done this. If I give a tip, I make it clear it's a tip or extra or whatever term exits my mouth.

[+ FrankR]

This thread just reminded me of something that happened years back when I was first starting out. A new client who became a regular over the years first tipped me a rather handsome amount extra in the envelope. I contacted him after counting it and asked him if he miscounted, and he replied no and thanks for reaching out about it. Years later when we got a lot closer he mentioned that tip and said it was a test of honesty, character, something along those lines. He said most of his hires dont say anything and thank him generally for the meet without acknowledging the extra stack.

Any clients on here ever done this as a test? I thought it was interesting that the majority just sat pretty with their bonus and with no acknowledgement.

I don’t include “mind games” in my list of things I enjoy doing, when I schedule time with a provider!! ?

[John]

Since everyone else gets to say it all again, let me have a go at it too:

-- Tipping has gotten out of hand in America. It has gone from being a reward for good service to an obligation.

-- I never tip the owner of the business. Thus, escorts are tipped, if deserved, only when sent by an agency, which never happens anymore.

Edited May 7, 2021 by John

[John]

Since everyone else gets to say it all again, let me have a go at it too:

-- Tipping has gotten out of hand in America. It has gone from being a reward for good service to an obligation.

-- I never tip the owner of the business. Thus, escorts are tipped, if deserved, only when sent by an agency, which never happens anymore.

Edited May 7, 2021 by John

[jtwalker]

This thread just reminded me of something that happened years back when I was first starting out. A new client who became a regular over the years first tipped me a rather handsome amount extra in the envelope. I contacted him after counting it and asked him if he miscounted, and he replied no and thanks for reaching out about it. Years later when we got a lot closer he mentioned that tip and said it was a test of honesty, character, something along those lines. He said most of his hires dont say anything and thank him generally for the meet without acknowledging the extra stack.

Any clients on here ever done this as a test? I thought it was interesting that the majority just sat pretty with their bonus and with no acknowledgement.

 

I don't really care that much if you're honest outside the context of our meeting. ?‍♂️

[ericwinters]

Americans are extremely anxious and neurotic re tipping. I think it’s rooted in the greater middle-class obsession about doing the right thing as well as status anxiety. I may write an essay about it.

 

I dream of a day American society rids itself of tipping. Cheap hospitality businesses should pay their employees a living competitive wage and reflect prices that cover those labor costs. Think of all the biases that would be eliminated in the psychology involved tipping.

 

I know I'm going to get shit for my views, it's OK. I've been in hospitality since 1989. Stared as a barback to waiter, now a leader in my segment.

 

I also feel this way about insurance. Single payer system, a national federal care program. And ... if your employer is awesome and has some 'Cadillac' supplemental plan, so be it.

 

Interview me for your essay.

????

[ericwinters]

Since everyone else gets to say it all again, let me have a go at it too:

-- Tipping has gotten out of hand in America. It has gone from being a reward for good service to an obligation.

-- I never tip the owner of the business. Thus, escorts are tipped, if deserved, only when sent by an agency, which never happens anymore.

 

My mom had the same point of view regarding hair salons

[BSR]

I dream of a day American society rids itself of tipping. Cheap hospitality businesses should pay their employees a living competitive wage and reflect prices that cover those labor costs. Think of all the biases that would be eliminated in the psychology involved tipping.

 

I know I'm going to get shit for my views, it's OK. I've been in hospitality since 1989. Stared as a barback to waiter, now a leader in my segment.

 

I also feel this way about insurance. Single payer system, a national federal care program. And ... if your employer is awesome and has some 'Cadillac' supplemental plan, so be it.

 

Interview me for your essay.

????

But doesn't the tipping system lower costs for the consumer? For round numbers' sake, let's say a restaurant server needs to take home $15/hr to make a decent living. To net that, his employer would have to pay $25/hr total, $20 to the server (of which he gets $15 after taxes) and $5 to the IRS in payroll taxes. Let's say that in a tipping system, that same server also takes home $15/hr. The difference is that by paying a much lower serving wage, the restaurant owner pays far less in payroll taxes. Because the owner has lower costs, he can pass those savings on to customers (competition & all). The only party that loses out is the IRS. Maybe that's why leftists advocate for eliminating tipping, because they hate that the Almighty State is being denied precious tax revenue.

[ericwinters]

https://time.com/5404475/history-tipping-american-restaurants-civil-war/

[italianboyph]

I really want to tip appropriately but I realized I have no clue what a decent tip looks like.

 

Let's just say it was a standard one hour rate of 300. As a provider, what amount of tip would make you feel like your client enjoyed himself?

 

Thank you in advance, I just want to have a clear idea of what a solid tip looks in the escorting world.

 

I’d say 20-50 is the norm for most clients, then again not all clients tip for the service either.

[Geriatric Otter]

I really want to tip appropriately but I realized I have no clue what a decent tip looks like.

 

Let's just say it was a standard one hour rate of 300. As a provider, what amount of tip would make you feel like your client enjoyed himself?

 

Thank you in advance, I just want to have a clear idea of what a solid tip looks in the escorting world.

I tend not to tip. The general rule is that you don't tip owners of an establishment. On the other hand, I'm otherwise very generous with Bradway shows, meals, etc...

[HoleTrainer]

Wow, being an owner of my own business, I can't really wrap my head around the idea that you don't tip the owner of an establishment. I got a 20 minute neck massage yesterday. I think the guy who gave it to me was actually the owner of the establishment (not sure- just a vibe I got). Everyone else was busy with a massage already, but they squeezed me in because I told them I had pulled a muscle and would appreciate ANY amount of attention to my neck. He only charged me $20 for that 20 minute massage, which was actually fantastic and did so much to provide me with a bit of relief until I could get a real massage scheduled. I tipped him another $20 on top of the massage price even tho I thought he was the owner. Why would I not tip just because he is the owner? A tip says- "I really appreciate your work- I understand you are charging market rate for this community but I think you deserve more and can afford to give it to you- Thank you for going above & beyond to accomodate me."

 

I completely understand if someone needs to save carefully to afford an escort's rate, or lives on a fixed income and already has to stretch their budget to hire, that they might not be able to afford to tip, btw. I don't expect tips for my work. But I don't undertand the sentiment of not tipping a business owner. Business owners usually put in tons of extra work behind the scenes that they don't get compensated for and if you have a truly exceptional experience at their hands, they are often responsible for making it possible in every possible way, with countless unpaid hours. The massage parlor owner may be an extra $20K in debt right now due to pandemic closures. Of course I'm going to tip because he did a great job and I can!

Edited May 10, 2021 by HoleTrainer

[Islesguy]

Wow, being an owner of my own business, I can't really wrap my head around the idea that you don't tip the owner of an establishment. I got a 20 minute neck massage yesterday. I think the guy who gave it to me was actually the owner of the establishment (not sure- just a vibe I got). Everyone else was busy with a massage already, but they squeezed me in because I told them I had pulled a muscle and would appreciate ANY amount of attention to my neck. He only charged me $20 for that 20 minute massage, which was actually fantastic and did so much to provide me with a bit of relief until I could get a real massage scheduled. I tipped him another $20 on top of the massage price even tho I thought he was the owner. Why would I not tip just because he is the owner? A tip says- "I really appreciate your work- I understand you are charging market rate for this community but I think you deserve more and can afford to give it to you- Thank you for going above & beyond to accomodate me."

 

I completely understand if someone needs to save carefully to afford an escort's rate, or lives on a fixed income and already has to stretch their budget to hire, that they might not be able to afford to tip, btw. I don't expect tips for my work. But I don't undertand the sentiment of not tipping a business owner. Business owners usually put in tons of extra work behind the scenes that they don't get compensated for and if you have a truly exceptional experience at their hands, they are often responsible for making it possible in every possible way, with countless unpaid hours. The massage parlor owner may be an extra $20K in debt right now due to pandemic closures. Of course I'm going to tip because he did a great job and I can!

No one is saying you shouldn't tip an owner of a business if you want. In the situation you presented even I would tip him. He squeezed you in on an emergency basis and charged what I am guessing is the standard rate. That's above and beyond in my book.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

The only other thing I'll say about this topic is this...

 

Some of you are comparing apples to assholes: Escorts may make as much as doctors or lawyers, but make no mistake, the level of intimacy and overall experience is nowhere near the same.

 

Bottom line, I'm neither here nor there about tipping. As a client, you do what makes you comfortable.

[Colton]

But doesn't the tipping system lower costs for the consumer? For round numbers' sake, let's say a restaurant server needs to take home $15/hr to make a decent living. To net that, his employer would have to pay $25/hr total, $20 to the server (of which he gets $15 after taxes) and $5 to the IRS in payroll taxes. Let's say that in a tipping system, that same server also takes home $15/hr. The difference is that by paying a much lower serving wage, the restaurant owner pays far less in payroll taxes. Because the owner has lower costs, he can pass those savings on to customers (competition & all). The only party that loses out is the IRS. Maybe that's why leftists advocate for eliminating tipping, because they hate that the Almighty State is being denied precious tax revenue.

 

Tips are taxable, just like wages. Employer still needs to pay payroll taxes on "reported tips" (there may be an exception for tips <$20 in a month).

 

I think you should tip for great service. But a delivery driver, or a bartender, shouldn't depend solely on tips. I really like the US to get rid of the tipped minimum wage.

[+ Autumnal]

Many years ago I was informed that you don't tip the owner (this was related to hair salons). The reasoning was that if the cut was $50 the owner took a percentage of that from his employees but he got to keep all of his $50 and didn't require a tip. Pryor to having heard that I had gone to a salon and had my hair cut, and when I tipped him he declined it saying he was the owner.

[HoleTrainer]

I think things have changed from many years ago. Salons and masseuses and escorts have basically had forced closures for most of the past year. I don't see many owners turning away tips now. A lot of people are tipping extra to help make up for the loss in income. I'm personally tipping anyone who gives me a personal service that involves risky contact/exposure anywhere between 30-110% right now. I'm vaccinated but I just believe that anyone doing this type of risky work deserves it right now.

 

I'm not saying I expect my clients to tip me this way. But since we are busy comparing this industry to other industries...

[+ keroscenefire]

One thing I find useful as a client when it comes to tipping is strangely enough when clients charge a value of $20. I almost always throw in an extra $20 but that's pretty easy when it's $240 or $260 for an hour. It's a bit harder when it's $250 and unfortunately some guys have just gotten an extra $10 instead. This is just because the ATMS throw out $20s and when I am quickly at the ATM I usually don't take out more than an extra $20.