Our Ideal of Beauty, and Our Parents

[Merboy]

I would definitely say my mother has set the standard of what I consider beautiful or attractive in a woman -- natural aging, warm inner glow, big smile, wavy hair, soft makeup... even though I have never been attracted to women in that way, I feel that straight women and gay men are very comfortable talking about women they find attractive.

 

But do our fathers also set the standard for us (all those attracted to men) of what we might subliminally like or desire in a man?

[Merboy]

Maybe there's a tiny bit of Freudian theory in that some of us may look for features or qualities of our dads when we seek out men?

[+ MysticMenace]

am digging deep here, but nope. not really close to my dad or really know him that well as a person, so I don't really consider him or his qualities / features, subliminally (I guess I can't know that for sure) or otherwise, when I seek out men.

 

but your question is making me think of what my reference point is for what I consider beautiful and how I grounded that. let me noodle on that one and get back to this.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

Not me. I never found either of my parents attractive.

 

I previously theorized that if my mother wasn't such a nasty person, that maybe I could be attracted to women. My dad only stayed with her because, according to him, "men are like lenolium. If laid right, you can walk over them for 30 years".

 

And of course my mom freaked out when she found out I was gay. "You're just like your father. You'd have sex with anything". Duh, mom

[+ Charlie]

Considering that I apparently look so much like my father that elderly relations sometimes mistook me for him (they were usually slipping into senility), that would probably have made me a narcissist.

 

But do our fathers also set the standard for us (all those attracted to men) of what we might subliminally like or desire in a man?