Three AM Text From A Former F*ckbuddy

[+ Gar1eth]

To be somewhat fair to Harold (a nom de f*ck to protect the buddy's identity) it was only 1 AM for him due to his being on the Western Coast.

 

The weird thing about this is that I had heard neither hide nor hair from him since I left the Left Coast 2-1/2 years ago. And I had over these last 2-1/2 years sent a few sporadic texts to find out how he was doing although probably none in the last year. But nary a reply to my texts did I ever receive.

 

So I'm sure y'all can imagine how surprised I was to hear from him. To tell the truth the wasn't that great a responder to texts during our time together. He was one of those guys who only wanted me when he was horny. Otherwise he didn't respond very often.

 

Now he says he knows he wants me. Talks about coming to visit when the grip of the Pandemic has relaxed a bit. It would be nice to see him. But I'm not going to hold my breath while waiting for it to occur.

 

But it was awfully weird to hear from him. I was wondering whether he might be drunk, had a bad break-up, or something to make him suddenly think of me.

 

Gman

Edited November 5, 2020 by Gar1eth

[+ sync]

I would be inclined to ask him those same questions that you are asking yourself (in neutral phrasing, of course).

[+ Gar1eth]

I would be inclined to ask him those same questions that you are asking yourself (in neutral phrasing, of course).

 

I actually did. He said he hasn't broken up with anyone recently , and he wasn't drunk. He said something about he had just realized what he wanted.

 

Call me skeptical.

 

Gman

[+ sync]

I actually did. He said he hasn't broken up with anyone recently , and he wasn't drunk. He said something about he had just realized what he wanted.

 

Call me skeptical.

 

Gman

I understand your being skeptical. Depending on how strong your feelings have remained for him, there may be no harm in granting him an audience.

[+ MysticMenace]

He was one of those guys who only wanted me when he was horny.

Now he says he knows he wants me.

 

Perhaps in your follow-up, unless you already decided to meet up with him, ask him how and to what extent he wants you. Does he want you...

• to continue to be a f*ckbuddy?
  
• to explore having a relationship?
  
• something else?
  

Depending on those answers (and other potential follow-ups from those answers), you might be a bit more informed on what to do next depending on what you would want from him either now or going forward.

[marylander1940]

To be somewhat fair to Harold (a nom de f*ck to protect the buddy's identity) it was only 1 AM for him due to his being on the Western Coast.

 

The weird thing about this is that I had heard neither hide nor hair from him since I left the Left Coast 2-1/2 years ago. And I had over these last 2-1/2 years sent a few sporadic texts to find out how he was doing although probably none in the last year. But nary a reply to my texts did I ever receive.

 

So I'm sure y'all can imagine how surprised I was to hear from him. To tell the truth the wasn't that great a responder to texts during our time together. He was one of those guys who only wanted me when he was horny. Otherwise he didn't respond very often.

 

Now he says he knows he wants me. Talks about coming to visit when the grip of the Pandemic has relaxed a bit. It would be nice to see him. But I'm not going to hold my breath while waiting for it to occur.

 

But it was awfully weird to hear from him. I was wondering whether he might be drunk, had a bad break-up, or something to make him suddenly think of me.

 

Gman

 

He found you while strolling through his phone in his sofa/bed and decided to say hi.

 

Not unusual and certainly no compliment.

[gallahadesquire]

I was at home one night when the phone rang (before cellphones).

 

“Hello?”

“This is a blast from your past.”

 

It was a friend I hadn’t spoken to in 16 years. He was the husband I never married. He got into a seriously abusive relationship and had FINALLY realized it. And he had to go back 16 years to find a friend who was HIS.

 

I wish I liked Atlanta.

[+ Gar1eth]

Perhaps in your follow-up, unless you already decided to meet up with him, ask him how and to what extent he wants you. Does he want you...

• to continue to be a f*ckbuddy?
  
• to explore having a relationship?
  
• something else?
  

Depending on those answers (and other potential follow-ups from those answers), you might be a bit more informed on what to do next depending on what you would want from him either now or going forward.

 

I'm 2100 + land miles from him now. I don't have the option of moving back, and he has a business there. We really were only f@ckbuddies not friends with benefits. He only wanted me when he was tipsy or drunk. I would have preferred being friends with benefits. But I took what I could get as my dance card was not running over with names. He says he wants to visit. If it happens, it will be nice. But I'll not hold my breath waiting for it to happen.

 

He found you while strolling through his phone in his sofa/bed and decided to say hi.

 

Not unusual and certainly no compliment.

 

You probably aren't wrong. On the other hand he's been a bit more responsive on successive texts than he was in the past. In the long run it probably doesn't mean anything. He wasn't reliable with me back then. I can't see him being that serious about me 2-1/2 years later and 2100 + miles away.

 

Gman

[+ MysticMenace]

He says he wants to visit. If it happens, it will be nice. But I'll not hold my breath waiting for it to happen.

 

Sounds like you got it handled. If he wants you, he will find a way to find and meet up with you. Agreed that he probably needs to do the work if he wants that [fill in the blank].

[marylander1940]

I'm 2100 + land miles from him now. I don't have the option of moving back, and he has a business there. We really were only f@ckbuddies not friends with benefits. He only wanted me when he was tipsy or drunk. I would have preferred being friends with benefits. But I took what I could get as my dance card was not running over with names. He says he wants to visit. If it happens, it will be nice. But I'll not hold my breath waiting for it to happen.

 

 

 

You probably aren't wrong. On the other hand he's been a bit more responsive on successive texts than he was in the past. In the long run it probably doesn't mean anything. He wasn't reliable with me back then. I can't see him being that serious about me 2-1/2 years later and 2100 + miles away.

 

Gman

 

Give it a try!

 

Why not!

 

Tell him you're game and you want him come over, hopefully the pandemic will be under control or the 2 of you could get tested before.

 

Is he asking you to host him at your place? Even more sex!

[+ WilliamM]

Give it a try!

 

Why not!

 

Tell him you're game and you want him come over, hopefully the pandemic will be under control or the 2 of you could get tested before.

 

Is he asking you to host him at your place? Even more sex!

 

"He only wanted me when he was tipsy or drunk," wrote @Gar1eth

[+ WilliamM]

No wonder you call him depressing

.

Interesting response

[CuriousByNature]

Perhaps distance, time, and the realities of a pandemic have made the heart grow fonder...

[+ MysticMenace]

He was one of those guys who only wanted me when he was horny

Perhaps distance, time, and the realities of a pandemic have made the heart grow fonder...

 

Based on @Gar1eth's narrative, I think distance, time, and the realities of a pandemic have made other things grow in more than just fondly ways...?

[MikeBiDude]

.

Interesting response

Was insulting, and once again making up stuff to stir the pot.

[marylander1940]

Was insulting, and once again making up stuff to stir the pot.

 

yes, it was an insulting post, the original one...

 

specially about a member that is always honest about his life and doesn't embellish it with his imagination.

 

Occasionally @Gar1eth even depresses me.

 

Come on, @marylander1940. He isn't a good example

[MikeBiDude]

a member that is always honest about his life and doesn't embellish it with his imagination.

Care to elaborate or is another sort of backhanded insult? I’d really like to know? Please explain.

[+ WilliamM]

yes, it was an insulting post, the original one...

 

specially about a member that is always honest about his life and doesn't embellish it with his imagination.

 

My point was @Gar1eth expressed reservations about his prior relationship with the person who sent an AM text.

 

Your response, @marylander1940

 

"Give it a try why not"

 

Typical hit him up philosophy from you!!!!

 

You are decent person, but your advice can be quite repetitive

[+ WilliamM]

Care to elaborate or is another sort of backhanded insult? I’d really like to know? Please explain.

 

From @marylander1940 it probably is a complicated. Sadly

[+ WilliamM]

yes, it was an insulting post, the original one...

 

specially about a member that is always honest about his life and doesn't embellish it with his imagination.

 

This doesn't apply to @Gar1eth - being honest about one's life is huge, but not everything

[marylander1940]

This doesn't apply to @Gar1eth - being honest about one's life is huge, but not everything

 

Honesty on here means a lot!

 

My point was @Gar1eth expressed reservations about his prior relationship with the person who sent an AM text.

 

Your response, @marylander1940

 

"Give it a try why not"

 

Typical hit him up philosophy from you!!!!

 

You are decent person, but your advice can be quite repetitive

 

Give it a try instead of doing nothing is always a good advice, I'm a go getter.

[+ WilliamM]

Honesty on here means a lot!

 

 

 

Give it a try instead of doing nothing is always a good advice, I'm a go getter.

 

Give it a try instead of doing nothing is sometimes horrible advise. "Go getters" can be extremely annoying, as in monopolizing conversations. Teachers can be "go getters" but also have qualities that balance that quality, like kindness, empathy, likeable personalities thought fulness.

[MikeBiDude]

Honesty on here means a lot!

So right! So please address questioning my veracity, be specific:

 

member that is always honest about his life and doesn't embellish it with his imagination.

Care to elaborate or is another sort of backhanded insult? I’d really like to know? Please explain.

[marylander1940]

Give it a try instead of doing nothing is sometimes horrible advise. "Go getters" can be extremely annoying, as in monopolizing conversations. Teachers can be "go getters" but also have qualities that balance that quality, like kindness, empathy, likeable personalities thought fulness.

 

So right! So please address questioning my veracity, be specific:

 

Sorry @Gar1eth they can't help themselves hijacking thread!

 

Give it a try with your buddy and good luck!

[+ MysticMenace]

@Gar1eth, hope some of our thoughts or recommendations helped. Although it sounds like your next steps are on point.