Who's in the closet? (an informal poll)

[Rick Munroe]

>totally in

>the closet about hiring escorts and patroning this site....

 

All of my friends know I'm an escort, but I'm in the closet about it to my parents. It's not out of embarrassment or fear of their judgment; I just know they'd worry needlessly and I don't want to be the cause of multiple heart attacks!

[Rick Munroe]

>Had my first sex with an adult man at 12.

 

I'm so jealous of you guys who started so young. I waited until the ripe old age of 17. :-(

[Rick Munroe]

>I decided very early that if I was comfortable

>and matter-of-fact about who I was, other people would be the

>same, and it seems to have worked out that way.

 

Me, too Charlie! It's definitely worked.

[Rick Munroe]

>The real shocker is that my mother, who has been a widow for

>almost 40 years, now has a boyfriend at the age of 84.

>Several months ago, when we finally met him for the first

>time, she introduced us as "my son and his partner".

> I'm almost fainted. Then, as has been our practice, we drove

>up to have dinner with my family this past Easter. As we were

>leaving, my mother hugged my partner and gave him a kiss.

 

That is such a cool story! It sounds like having a bf has loosened her up (no pun intended) and opened her eyes. Really neat.

[Rick Munroe]

>Seduced by an uncle at 7 years of age(I was shown a hard cock,

>was told to hold it, admire it, and watch it make milK!).

 

When I was 7, my Uncle Lenny showed me his bunion, and I had nightmares for weeks. Wanna trade childhood memories? Please? I'd rather have yours! :o

[Rick Munroe]

>I was out and lookin' for cock at the age of 15. This was in

>the mid 80's

 

Wow, I was out at around the same age at around the same time, but I didn't have the nerve to go out lookin' for cock. I was still watching Brady Bunch reruns and jerking off to my mother's Playgirls.

[Rick Munroe]

>My new job is in an industry that could be classified as

>homophobic. It's a very red neck environment. But, I just keep

>being myself. Don't hide the lifestyle but don't flaunt it.

 

Very cool. I probably couldn't work in that environment, but if I did, I'd be just like you.

[Rick Munroe]

>Once more of your ilk are cleared from the gay community

>

>But not until we get rid of every last one of you pieces of

>excrement

 

Fred Phelps, is that you? :o

[Rick Munroe]

>I met my first escort. It was fun

>and guilt free, I did not feel that having sex with men

>compromised the memory of my wife

 

You have the most original story, p-kow. Have you considered writing a memoir of your experiences?

[Rick Munroe]

>On Christmas Day 1992 I told my mother I was gay. I did not

>plan it for that day but circumstances just made it happen.

>Her reply was "You are my son and I love you." For

>me all of the angst and fear the previous 30 years of my life

>disappeared at that moment.

 

Now, that's the meaning of "heartwarming." I agree that it's fascinating to learn everyone's stories, and yours was no exception.

[Rick Munroe]

>There are a lot of gay forums where being in the closet is

>viewed very negatively, and to instead have a gathering of

>guys openly sharing their own experiences and reasons without

>being ostracized is great.

 

I agree. That's one of the reasons I felt comfortable about starting this thread.

 

>I believe my mother knows, for god's sake she rented 'Angeles

>in America'

 

Was the the sequel to "Angels in America" but it took place in L.A.?

[Rick Munroe]

>Slowly I came out to my straight friends (I was a bit shocked

>to see how they accepted me even if very surprised)

 

That's pretty common. Many guys I've met who've later come out tell me that their friends and family accepted it and were even happy for them. I just wish more guys who want to come out, but are afraid to, could realize that the result won't be as scary as they're imagining it to be. But everyone does it in their own time, if at all.

[Rick Munroe]

>Like many I was raised in a

>very conservative Christian family and recognize that many in

>the fundamentalist ranks would consider my bisexuality nothing

>but hypocrisy.

 

But I bet many of them are bi or gay, too.

[Samai139]

Rick--

Thank you for the mature, gentlemanly reply---not a rarity on this forum, but always welcome.

Your "respect for others' stance" is what impressed me the most. From many "out" gay men, I don't feel that same respect for my decisions. Quite often the timbre of their replies is filled with contempt and condescension--hardly the way to encourage others to consider join their ranks.

[Argos]

Rick:

 

No doubt many of them are bisexual, child molesters or cheat on their wives. I haven't come out because I don't think my sexuality is anyone's business. If I want to get together with a man or two or three that is my business. If I want to have sex with married couples, engage in sm, bondage or some other fetish why is it anyone else's business.

 

I love having sex with women and find it difficult to believe that gay men cannot enjoy the experience. Nonetheless, I have many gay friends who explain they simply cannot get turned on by a women no matter how hard they have tried. Many of these friends have had to struggle with their religious belief that homosexuality is an "abomination." I have personally seen them struggle with the issue and some have even been suicidal. It breaks my heart and makes me wonder what type of God would send somone to "hell" because of a sexual orientation with which they have been born. (Incidentally, I do not believe homosexuality is an abomination or that someone is ending up in "hell" because they are gay.)

 

I do not push or oppose the gay agenda. In fact, I need to better understand this whole "same sex" marriage issue. I don't mean this to sound disrespecful but I don't see why the gay community has a problem with being in a civil union or domestic partnership as long as they have the same rights and privileges of a married couple. Perhaps I would be more sensitive to this issue if I were gay.

[JamesK840]

>>Had my first sex with an adult man at 12.

>

>I'm so jealous of you guys who started so young. I waited

>until the ripe old age of 17. :-(

 

Christ on a cracker, I waited 'till I was 30!

[Rick Munroe]

>I don't mean this to sound disrespecful but I don't

>see why the gay community has a problem with being in a civil

>union or domestic partnership as long as they have the same

>rights and privileges of a married couple.

 

That's just it. Civil unions or domestic partnerships still lack over 1,400 federal and state benefits that are conferred upon married couples. Most of these benefits cannot be privately arranged with a lawyer, and in some cases, if they can, it could cost thousands of dollars and still be challenged in court, at a hospital, etc. These rights include:

 

1. Joint parental rights of children

2. Joint adoption

3. Status as "next-of-kin" for hospital visits and medical decisions

4. Right to make a decision about the disposal of loved ones remains

5. Immigration and residency for partners from other countries

6. Crime victims recovery benefits

7. Domestic violence protection orders

8. Judicial protections and immunity

9. Automatic inheritance in the absence of a will

10. Public safety officers death benefits

11. Spousal veterans benefits

12. Social Security

13. Medicare

14. Joint filing of tax returns

15. Wrongful death benefits for surviving partner and children

16. Bereavement or sick leave to care for partner or children

17. Child support

18. Joint Insurance Plans

19. Tax credits including: Child tax credit, Hope and lifetime learning credits

20. Deferred Compensation for pension and IRAs

21. Estate and gift tax benefits

22. Welfare and public assistance

23. Joint housing for elderly

24. Credit protection

25. Medical care for survivors and dependents of certain veterans

 

Please read this for more details and to educate yourself on the issue:

 

"The Difference between Gay Marriage and Civil Unions"

http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/wedding/a/unionvmarriage.htm

 

>Perhaps I would be

>more sensitive to this issue if I were gay.

 

Perhaps. Then again, there are many white people who are sensitive to issues of racism and there are many men who are sensitive to issues of sexism. And there are many straight people who understand what's at stake here. I hope maybe I've helped set you straight (sorry, couldn't resist).

[+ deej]

>Personally, I'm obviously out to the friends I've met through

>Hooville but am ambivalently 'in' otherwise. It wouldn't

>really matter with my friends or my job, but I just don't see

>any benefit to outweigh the added awkwardness. Even gay

>people seem to assume quite confidently that I'm straight, but

>it's not a secret I consider valuable.

 

That pretty much sums me up. The VERY FEW TIMES the question has come up in my professional life my usual response is "Why? Ya interested?"

 

It either ends the question or starts something interesting. ;-)

 

And, for the record, if I hadn't met you at a Hooville gathering you probably wouldn't have pinged the gaydar so you are definitely outwardly ambivalent.

 

I will unapologetically answer yes if asked, but I'm rarely asked and I don't really think it's important. To family, I'm 50 and single. They can do the math. Mom resigned herself to never having grandkids years ago (from either me or my sister) and settled happily for grandcats.

 

I spent a lot of time visiting Mom and her circle of friends in the last six months of her life. I found the seniors to be probably the single most accepting group of people I've ever been around. The old ladies gossip, but their only gripe with a gay man is taking one more out of the dating pool!

 

You can learn a lot about tolerance and acceptance hanging around senior citizens.

[seattlebottom]

I've known I was gay since I was 4, although (obviously), I didn't have the words to articulate it, but the feelings were there. Strangely enough, I was never ever attracted to anyone my age or even around my age, right from the get-go it was older guys in their 30s and 40s.

 

I'm in the closet because I don't feel a need to come out. I don't have a boyfriend and my sex life is a private matter, except of course in these forums where it is anonymous. Sometimes I wonder if I use escorts to avoid having to deal with the whole coming out process. Maybe I'm too lazy to come out? Hmmm...

[Rick Munroe]

>I love having sex with women and find it difficult to believe

>that gay men cannot enjoy the experience.

 

Do you also find it difficult to believe that straight men can't enjoy sex with other men and that straight women can't enjoy sex with other women?

[Guest zipperzone]

>Perhaps I would be

>more sensitive to this issue if I were gay.

 

Are you sure you're not dwelling in a state of denial? If you're not gay, why does your profile state your cock size and circumcision status? Sounds pretty gay to me!

[Rick Munroe]

Maybe it's Larry Craig.

[Argos]

Rick:

 

The Federal Government will not confer the same rights on same sex partners regardless if a State calls it a Civil Union, Domestic Partnership or Marriage. The Feds have their own definition of marriage and it must be between a man and a women. Even in Vermont same sex couples who are legally married in the State do not get Federal benefits. I think that is a sad situation but it is the current reality.

[Argos]

Zipper and Rick:

 

I am neither in a state of denial nor Larry Craig. If you believe someone is gay because they love having sex with men and women that doesn't bother me. It seems to be a matter of semantics. I thought the proper terminology was Bi but I really don't care. Larry also denies the fact he enjoys sex with men. There is no such denial on my part. I just don't think I need to broadcast it to everyone I meet and it is really no one elses business.

[Rick Munroe]

This post makes entirely no sense in relation to your previous post. First you said, "I need to better understand this whole 'same sex' marriage issue," but now you seem to have a firm grasp of the situation. I think you should get your story straight (pun intended). Also, Vermont has civil unions, not marriage.