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ANGER MANAGEMENT 101


Guest ncm2169
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Guest ncm2169

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

 

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

 

I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

 

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me.

 

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

 

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

 

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an a**hole!' and hung up.

 

I wrote his number down with the word 'a**hole' next to it,and put it in my desk drawer.

 

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an a**hole!'

 

It always cheered me up.

 

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a**hole' calling would have to stop.. So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

 

He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.

 

I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an a**hole!' and hung up.

 

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

 

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

 

A couple of days later, right after calling the first a**hole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW a**hole, too. I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

 

He said, 'Yes, it is.'

 

I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

 

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and the car's parked right out in front.'

 

I asked, 'What's your name?' He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

 

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

 

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

 

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

 

He said, 'Yes?'

 

I said, 'Don, you're an a**hole!'

 

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

 

Now, when I had a problem, I had two a**holes to call.

 

Then I came up with an idea.

 

I called a**hole #1.

 

He said, 'Hello.'

 

I said, 'You're an a**hole!' (But I didn't hang up.)

 

He asked, 'Are you still there?'

 

I said, 'Yeah.'

 

He screamed, 'Stop calling me.'

 

I said, 'Make me.'

 

He asked, 'Who are you?'

 

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

 

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

 

I said, A**hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

 

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.'

 

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, a**hole,' and hung up.

 

Then I called A**hole#2.

 

He said, 'Hello?'

 

I said, 'Hello, A**hole.'

 

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

 

I said, 'You'll what?'

 

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your a**.'

 

I answered, 'Well, a**hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.'

 

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way home to kill my gay lover.

 

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax

 

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

 

I got there just in time to watch two a**holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

 

NOW I feel much better.

 

Anger management really does work!

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LOL. That was really good.

 

I thought of it when I think of the "asshole" who fixed my computer this week. A particular program that I really need wasn't working (it was slowing down) so I took it in to have him look at it and fix. When I came back the "asshole" said "I put a new program on for you to use and it doesn't do everything your old one does so I added an additional one."

 

I looked at him dumbfounded. Now I have to do 3 extra steps to get the work done I used to in one step. Thanks "asshole."

 

Also, he gave me a new mouse which is all over the place and I can hardly control like my old one.

 

I wonder if this "asshole" has a black BMW?

 

Mark

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Guest CURIOUS35

> Now I have to do 3 extra steps to

>get the work done I used to in one step. Thanks

>"asshole."

>

>Mark

 

 

:-) :-) :-) :-)

Very much in Character, Mark! :)

 

Did the asshole look good? or he looks like an ass? :)

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Thanks for the great laugh! I read this last night at work while on my break. I was in a pretty foul mood (with having to go to LA this Thurs-Mon) and just got done chewing someone out because they couldn't work the self check outs. After reading your post it readjusted my mood to a much more pleasant one. Thanks!

 

Hugs,

Greg

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http://seaboy4hire.tripod.com http://www.daddysreviews.com/newest.php?who=greg_seattle

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  • 9 years later...
I find what the op did was ridiculous and over the top to say the least. Very irresponsible. This isn’t anger management. It’s anger mismanagement.

 

I suggest the op get help.

 

He just pasted an old joke from the internet, I am pretty sure this didn’t actually happen. At least not like described.

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