Using the term "raped"

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Continuing the conversation... Where does this sanitizing of sex stop?

 

We have guys here on the board who have the name slave in their moniker.

 

There are members here who have shown a like for the world of findom and being called faggot when serving their alpha.

 

These. Are. Fantasies: This is a big part of why sex workers exist in the first place and like I said earlier in this thread, it's up to every individual escort to choose what's right for them.

 

As the kids now say: You do you, but let me do me.

Edited June 15, 2020 by Benjamin_Nicholas

[CuriousByNature]

Continuing the conversation... Where does this sanitizing of sex stop?

 

We have guys here on the board who have the name slave in their moniker.

 

There are members here who have shown a like for the world of findom and being called faggot when serving their alpha.

 

These. Are. Fantasies: This is a big part of why sex workers exist in the first place and like I said earlier in this thread, it's up to every individual escort to choose what's right for them.

 

As the kids now say: You do you, but let me do me.

Im not a super politically-correct person at the best of times, and everyone is absolutely free to use whichever terms they wish. That may be part of freedom of expression I suppose. But I think it is important for people to realize that certain terms have a meaning that is far deeper and more painful for some than for others. And a lot of people probably wouldn't mind using an alternate term if it helps prevent triggering someone else. The OP was clear that he did not chastise the client in any way, and I take it he doesn't expect people to not use the word 'rape'. I didn't get the impression at all that there was an expectation for anyone to conform to his understanding and change their behaviour accordingly. I do think he gave all of us useful food for thought, as you have in your comment. You mentioned the term 'slave' as well, and this could also be a term that is hurtful to some but is used in a widespread manner. People will continue to use such terminology without meaning any harm, but it is good for us to be reminded that it can be harmful even if it wasn't intended to be.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Im not a super politically-correct person at the best of times, and everyone is absolutely free to use whichever terms they wish. That may be part of freedom of expression I suppose. But I think it is important for people to realize that certain terms have a meaning that is far deeper and more painful for some than for others. And a lot of people probably wouldn't mind using an alternate term if it helps prevent triggering someone else. The OP was clear that he did not chastise the client in any way, and I take it he doesn't expect people to not use the word 'rape'. I didn't get the impression at all that there was an expectation for anyone to conform to his understanding and change their behaviour accordingly. I do think he gave all of us useful food for thought, as you have in your comment. You mentioned the term 'slave' as well, and this could also be a term that is hurtful to some but is used in a widespread manner. People will continue to use such terminology without meaning any harm, but it is good for us to be reminded that it can be harmful even if it wasn't intended to be.

 

You make fine points, many of which I agree with.

 

My interest in this was piqued when the OP said such words shouldn't be used or fetishized, which is exactly why I said what's right for him as a sex-worker is fine but should be expressed to a client ahead of time. We escorts are in the business of providing a non-judgemental and somewhat fantastical experience for the guys we see. I think bringing a ton of PCism into this would ruin a lot of the allure.

 

Most importantly: As you alluded to, intent is everything.

[+ keroscenefire]

I have nothing to add to the conversation except to say I am impressed by how empathetic, thoughtful and well-reasoned the discussion is on this thread. This is why I enjoy this forum so much. Reading through this really challenged my perspectives. Thank you.

[Guest NYCRich212]

Men with rape fantasies should know the reality of rape Is only about power inequality, destroying dignity, ripping someone’s body apart, hate, rage and psychological harm that remains for decades.

[+ Lucky]

Continuing the conversation... Where does this sanitizing of sex stop?

 

We have guys here on the board who have the name slave in their moniker.

 

There are members here who have shown a like for the world of findom and being called faggot when serving their alpha.

 

These. Are. Fantasies: This is a big part of why sex workers exist in the first place and like I said earlier in this thread, it's up to every individual escort to choose what's right for them.

 

As the kids now say: You do you, but let me do me.

As Ben would have it, any slurs or racism is okay as long as your dick is hard. But even fetishists have values.

[Eggman]

You're in a sex-based business: Get used to guys plainly sharing their innermost fantasies.

 

Asking guys to soften those sexual edges is like asking Mel Brooks to go gentle on the satire.

 

Also realize that a lot of what people say vs what they actually do is nothing more than pre-fuck bravado.

 

Ben - great reference to Mel Brooks, one of my favorites!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

As Ben would have it, any slurs or racism is okay as long as your dick is hard. But even fetishists have values.

 

Nice try on attempting to swerve the narrative, but you're going to need to actually provide receipts if going for my jugular.

 

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.