marylander1940 Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 @Gar1eth Have you talked to a friend in person about this, or even on the phone? @Gar1eth hopefully you can take as a date next Passover! Is he Jewish? + DERRIK and RomanticRick 2
marylander1940 Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 @Gar1eth Have you talked to a friend in person about this, or even on the phone? @Gar1eth hopefully you can take as a date next Passover! Is he Jewish? + DERRIK and RomanticRick 2
LivingnLA Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 Well not really. It's scary. If you are going to be close to someone, then it's a risk you have to take. I'm assuming if he knew he had been exposed, he would have told me. I'm sure the same thing goes for him. With the fact that asymptomatic people can spread the disease, every meeting is a crapshoot. There's just no way to know. [emphasis added] Respectfully, like with STIs, it's important to not assume. Having an open discussion about where you're coming from and where they're coming from is an important way to gauge compatibility as well as risk. It's all about proactive communication, enthusiastic consent, and recognition of the shared responsibily for each other's health. I've been with bisexual escorts -Andrew Justice for example-and probably some escorts who were g4pay although as much as I could I tried to avoid those guys. And I've been with guys who came out late and were previously married. And I'm sure I've been with some true bisexuals or guys still married to women. But I won't deny it weirds me out. However I think the true answer on how much it will bother me is how "into him" I get. After all the majority of the people I've met on the apps to have sex with-I've known I wasn't their only partner. It's just I normally expect their other partners to be men and not women. So even if we became routine 'buds' -unless we had an agreement of exclusivity I wouldn't expect to be his one and only. If I felt I was falling deeply into like-or love, then his polyamory nature is going to bother me more. All of that sounds reasonable to me. If you are serious about a relationship, I suggest looking into some of the writing about monogamists who have relationships with polygamists. Most of what's out there is from a hetero perspective, but the fundamental human psychology often still applies to same sex relationships. You may also want to look at research around bisexuality and polyamory. For example, this article about bisexuals tending to be more comfortable with polyamory compared to heterosexual and homosexual identified people. Though, plenty of bisexuals are monogamously oriented too. 1. How old is he? We're roughly the same age. 2. Not a Great Communicator? I'd say this goes beyond that to maybe being a bit too self-centered-or something. After all he said he was interested. And later events have borne that out. But to first contact someone in February, Then he doesn't follow-up until May? He's a nice guy. And I'll admit I'm not always the best at following up on things either. But unless he becomes more reliable, there's no way anything more than a casual f-buddy relationship is possible. 3. I'm fairly sure text is not a foreign concept to him. For some reason it just doesn't seem to register that sending a text apologizing for not texting earlier. Then not responding to a reply to that is really irksome. Gman Good points. Since he's your age, those communication issues are definitely yellow flags for anything beyond f-buddy, which you already know. I'd say relax and enjoy the unknown. See where it goes as life happens.
+ Gar1eth Posted June 10, 2020 Author Posted June 10, 2020 @Gar1eth Have you talked to a friend in person about this, or even on the phone? Your romantic relationship discussed in this thread At the moment more of just a friendship. After all we've only seen each other in person twice. And if there is any chance at all for something deeper to happen, he'll have to become a better communicator. But as for "talking" it out, I thought that's what I was doing here. I don't really have anyone In person in my life that I can talk about this with. Well there is one acquaintance. But I haven't seen him in person in months due to the virus. Plus he is only a fairly recent acquaintance and not a long term friend. And he recently lost his job due to the downturn in business. He has quite a lot on his mind right now. I also have a pen-pal that I could discuss it with. But really there's not anything to discuss yet. Two meetings with a polyamorous guy do not constitute a death do you part relationship. @Gar1eth hopefully you can take as a date next Passover! Is he Jewish? WHOA-I am far from taking him home to meet Mom. I couldn't even if I wanted to. She's in a retirement community (on the independent living side). I haven't been able to see her in person since the first part of March. Gman marylander1940 1
marylander1940 Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 At the moment more of just a friendship. After all we've only seen each other in person twice. And if there is any chance at all for something deeper to happen, he'll have to become a better communicator. But as for "talking" it out, I thought that's what I was doing here. I don't really have anyone In person in my life that I can talk about this with. Well there is one acquaintance. But I haven't seen him in person in months due to the virus. Plus he is only a fairly recent acquaintance and not a long term friend. And he recently lost his job due to the downturn in business. He has quite a lot on his mind right now. I also have a pen-pal that I could discuss it with. But really there's not anything to discuss yet. Two meetings with a polyamorous guy do not constitute a death do you part relationship. WHOA-I am far from taking him home to meet Mom. I couldn't even if I wanted to. She's in a retirement community (on the independent living side). I haven't been able to see her in person since the first part of March. Gman Sorry I thought you guys were dating. RomanticRick 1
+ Gar1eth Posted June 10, 2020 Author Posted June 10, 2020 Sorry I thought you guys were dating. No so far it's just had two dates. I'd like to get closer. But unless things improve it may have to stay at the buddy stage. Gman RomanticRick, MikeBiDude, marylander1940 and 1 other 4
MikeBiDude Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 Far be it for a relative newcomer to stick his nose where it does not belong, but it seems the "ignore nosey suggestions" dig @marylander1940 is uncalled for. Certainly wasnt calling out any single poster....but I did delete the post...you quoted me quick ? all good + WilliamM 1
marylander1940 Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 Certainly wasnt calling out any single poster....but I did delete the post...you quoted me quick ? all good I just love it when people talk about something they later deleted as if it matter to them or others. I just PM @RomanticRick wondering what his post meant but I'll keep the answer private. Thanks for your likes in this thread and thank you again @Gar1eth for being such an honest (zero bullshit) poster.
MikeBiDude Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 The deleted post did not quote nor mention anyone (other than @Gar1eth ) and I just suggested he keep on track and ignore “nosey suggestions”, thought better of it and deleted minutes later. Certainly not worth going off topic for or wasting time on it. PM’s oh my the intrigue! marylander1940 1
+ WilliamM Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 At the moment more of just a friendship. After all we've only seen each other in person twice. And if there is any chance at all for something deeper to happen, he'll have to become a better communicator. But as for "talking" it out, I thought that's what I was doing here. Gman Well, you have been very honest, but it isn't the same as a conversation where you answer in the moment spontaneously. I don't mean to be rude MikeBiDude and marylander1940 2
+ WilliamM Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 I just love it when people talk about something they later deleted as if it matter to them or others. I just PM @RomanticRick wondering what his post meant but I'll keep the answer private. Thanks for your likes in this thread and thank you again @Gar1eth for being such an honest (zero bullshit) poster. What does (zero bullshit) mean? He is hardly the only member who is very honest and forth coming. MikeBiDude and marylander1940 2
marylander1940 Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 The deleted post did not quote nor mention anyone (other than @Gar1eth ) and I just suggested he keep on track and ignore “nosey suggestions”, thought better of it and deleted minutes later. Certainly not worth going off topic for or wasting time on it. PM’s oh my the intrigue! you keep on talking about a deleted post, someone just told me what it was and it wasn't a big deal. Sorry @Gar1eth and we all wish you best of luck in this relationship. I hope I wasn't nosey asking you if he's Jewish but you're the one who shared this gentleman and some of your life's experiences with us! RomanticRick and MikeBiDude 2
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