Adulting 101

[+ Pensant]

Sometimes you really can't make a camel drink after leading it to water.

But does anyone else feel like me, that their 20s were wasted or could have been better if taught how to "adult"?

I feel the same way. In some ways my 20’s were a wasted decade. I had the brains, but not the drive, to go to a top tier law school after finishing up at a private liberal arts school. I ended up doing well financially, but still view my 20’s as a wasted opportunity.

[+ WilliamM]

This is a great topic! I really enjoyed reading posts. Having teens in high school and seeing the lack of life skills doesn't sit well with me. I remember having to take accounting, cooking, wood shop, sewing, metal shop, and PE - all beneficial. So, as a parent, I find myself trying to work harder instilling these skills. It's tough because kids these days think they can just google something and don't have to learn or know it.

 

None of those classes were particularly helpful to me. I was far more interested in social studies and math classes.

 

The principal agreed. He made science classes mandatory and cut back on shop and even gym classes.

Edited February 5, 2020 by WilliamM

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

We live in a world where many parents no longer think it's necessary for their child to learn a trade. That's nearsighted.

 

The world will always need craftsmen and tradespeople. High schools- now more than ever- need to realize that the college route is not something that's for everyone. The insane amount of mounting national debt because of higher education should be enough to prove that.

 

Life skills can be talked about in a book, but growing up, getting out there and falling on your ass a few times is usually the best education.

 

Young people today are too afraid to fail. Failure is important. Learning to fail and moving past it makes you a stronger, better person.

[thickornotatall]

It's very easy to be left behind without basic life skills. Don't count on too many parents to give kids those lessons... How to write a check may be archaic..but useful. How to manage your debts and put spending limits in place. How to file and pay taxes. How to write a resume....the importance of returning calls and texts with more than>> sup?<< or too many IDK or IDC ..answer in plain English...How important it is to be on time...say please and thank you.

I run in to so many people who haven't a clue to make good life choices....The Forgotten American is alive....and in debt!

[+ RJD]

We live in a world where many parents no longer think it's necessary for their child to learn a trade. That's nearsighted.

 

The world will always need craftsmen and tradespeople. High schools- now more than ever- need to realize that the college route is not something that's for everyone. The insane amount of mounting national debt because of higher education should be enough to prove that.

 

Agree with this 100%. We’re programmed to believe if we don’t go to college, we can’t be successful. I think my plumber who drives a brand new Benz when not working and has a summer home at the Jersey shore would refute that theory.

[+ quoththeraven]

Interesting, I was reading law books in fifth grade and Money magazine in fourth...

 

while High School should “teach” many things, it’s still incumbent on the student to “learn”...and there’s a case to be made that life skills should be taught in the home as well.

 

but the website is good indeed

I'm going to sound grumpy and uncivil, but too bad: this is just more of the usual bootstrapping mumbo jumbo.

 

This is more valuable and necessary than much of what's covered academically in high school. Note I don't say elementary school; basic reading and math skills are vital for everyone capable of attaining them, which, hello, isn't everyone. Seems to me that you should show more respect for people's differing abilities instead of writing off everyone you perceive as inferior to you, especially given views we have debated elsewhere over whether abortion should be legal.

 

As for the home: some homes function with a parent or parents who work at night or work two or more jobs just to keep afloat. Some parents themselves don't have these skills or knowledge. And some parents actively discourage such knowledge, like the father of a college housemate of mine who didn't know anything about checking accounts because her father (an engineer, so not an uneducated man) controlled the family finances and contact with others. It's amazing enough he let his kids attend public school, but they weren't allowed to participate in after school activities.

 

So, basically, your post is a paean to circumstances you found yourself in but which don't apply to everyone. Congratulations on once again mistaking yourself for the paradigmatic human being.

 

(Those of you who wonder why I'm being so critical probably don't participate in the Politics forum.)

 

Edited to add, which I forgot but reading other posts reminded me: This is something that doesn't increase educational costs by much but levels the playing field and makes living effectively more likely. As such, it's like any good educational idea: better for everyone, and everyone benefits except con artists, grifters and those who make their living off of financial ignorance.

 

Also, somewhat unrelatedly, we need civics education and a demystifying of actual, as opposed to aspirational, history, especially US history.

Edited February 5, 2020 by quoththeraven

[+ quoththeraven]

Terrific idea. I had a long chat last week with a guy I met in SA about if he could afford a specific apartment, The things that seem obvious - how to not get screwed on a car repair, how to not mess up your credit score and why it’s important, lease vs. buy of a car, office politics 101, how to write a credit dispute letter, etc., - aren’t obvious if you’ve never heard anything about them.

Or if you're unfamiliar with the context.

[Guest]

I'm going to sound grumpy and uncivil, but too bad: this is just more of the usual bootstrapping mumbo jumbo.

 

This is more valuable and necessary than much of what's covered academically in high school. Note I don't say elementary school; basic reading and math skills are vital for everyone capable of attaining them, which, hello, isn't everyone. Seems to me that you should show more respect for people's differing abilities instead of writing off everyone you perceive as inferior to you, especially given views we have debated elsewhere over whether abortion should be legal.

 

As for the home: some homes function with a parent or parents who work at night or work two or more jobs just to keep afloat. Some parents themselves don't have these skills or knowledge. And some parents actively discourage such knowledge, like the father of a college housemate of mine who didn't know anything about checking accounts because her father (an engineer, so not an uneducated man) controlled the family finances and contact with others. It's amazing enough he let his kids attend public school, but they weren't allowed to participate in after school activities.

 

So, basically, your post is a paean to circumstances you found yourself in but which don't apply to everyone. Congratulations on once again mistaking yourself for the paradigmatic human being.

 

(Those of you who wonder why I'm being so critical probably don't participate in the Politics forum.)

 

Edited to add, which I forgot but reading other posts reminded me: This is something that doesn't increase educational costs by much but levels the playing field and makes living effectively more likely. As such, it's like any good educational idea: better for everyone, and everyone benefits except con artists, grifters and those who make their living off of financial ignorance.

 

Also, somewhat unrelatedly, we need civics education and a demystifying of actual, as opposed to aspirational, history, especially US history.

Amen! Especially to civics education. I agree this all belongs in the school as well as the home. BUT, isn’t the problem that teenagers don’t understand the need and dis a course like this??

[+ WilliamM]

Amen! Especially to civics education. I agree this all belongs in the school as well as the home. BUT, isn’t the problem that teenagers don’t understand the need and dis a course like this??

 

Because the course has to be meaningful to students now and in future with good teachers, not just someone assigned who would prefer to teach English or social studies -more traditional subjects.

[+ keroscenefire]

The above may have come off harsher than I intended. But my position remains a HS class would do little good because the people who need it won't be paying any attention, and the people who do pay attention aren't the ones who need it.

3 of my 4 boomer siblings have zero retirement savings, and truth be told, zero net worth. One is in a nursing home so it's moot. The other two will be working until they drop, despite both having college degrees.

 

 

Having taught this to seniors, I'd say about 70 percent or so of the the students really took it in and learned a lot from it. At that age, they really are about to buy their first car or rent their first apartment, so they were paying attention. My high school in particular has a lot of what we called "opportunity youth," so in many cases they weren't really learning this information for their parents or only some of it.

 

But you're right, about a third or so of the students blew off the class, but pretty much in the same way they blew off every class. Some kids just didn't really care about school or learning, regardless of the subject. They would be the ones asking, "When are we every going to need this stuff?" in math class and then coming to my class, filled with practical information that they would very likely use and saying the same thing.

Edited February 6, 2020 by keroscenefire

[+ keroscenefire]

We live in a world where many parents no longer think it's necessary for their child to learn a trade. That's nearsighted.

 

The world will always need craftsmen and tradespeople. High schools- now more than ever- need to realize that the college route is not something that's for everyone. The insane amount of mounting national debt because of higher education should be enough to prove that.

 

Life skills can be talked about in a book, but growing up, getting out there and falling on your ass a few times is usually the best education.

 

Young people today are too afraid to fail. Failure is important. Learning to fail and moving past it makes you a stronger, better person.

 

Yes! I encourage a lot of my students to look at trade schools and programs. We do concurrent enrollment where students who are caught up with their high school credits can earn college paid for by the district. I had one young women get her CNA and her LPN, all paid for by the time she graduated. She visited us a few months ago and is working full-time, making $21 an hour at age 19. And she is earning that money with no college debt of any kind as we paid for her courses. I think all she had to pay was the fee for the licensing exam and that was it.

 

Some kids get it and they are really enthusiastic about doing these programs. Others end up dropping out after a week so they can make minimum wage at McDonalds. Such a challenge to get some young people to think about their future.

[+ quoththeraven]

Having taught this to seniors, I'd say about 70 percent or so of the the students really took it in and learned a lot from it. At that age, they really are about to buy their first car or rent their first apartment, so they were paying attention. My high school in particular has a lot of what we called "opportunity youth," so in many cases they weren't really learning this information for their parents or only some of it.

 

But you're right, about a third or so of the students blew off the class, but pretty much in the same way they blew off every class. Some kids just didn't really care about school or learning, regardless of the subject. They would be the ones asking, "When are we every going to need this stuff?" in math class and then coming to my class, filled with practical information that they would very likely use and saying the same thing.

Which suggests that it is useful and fills a need. There will always be people who are disengaged and blow it off. That still isn't a reason not to make it available.

[+ quoththeraven]

Amen! Especially to civics education. I agree this all belongs in the school as well as the home. BUT, isn’t the problem that teenagers don’t understand the need and dis a course like this??

@keroscenefire and @bigjoey's responses suggest otherwise, although civics education is probably a bigger stretch than practical economics/law. Civics education is something that needs to begin in late elementary school rather than in high school.

 

I remember the days of discussing the Watergate hearings in an honors American history class in which George McGovern narrowly won a straw poll even though we lived in a predominantly Republican area. (I don't know if any of the other teachers conducted straw polks.) Our class was highly engaged, particularly since our teacher let a class member who later became a union organizer talk about the evidence against Nixon prior to the start of class.

[+ FreshFluff]

How about an advanced course, Getting Olding 101? You learn about how to deal with doctors, and accept that you need all sorts of surgeries that won’t leave you intact.

[+ bigjoey]

@keroscenefire and @bigjoey's responses suggest otherwise, although civics education is probably a bigger stretch than practical economics/law. Civics education is something that needs to begin in late elementary school rather than in high school.

 

I remember the days of discussing the Watergate hearings in an honors American history class in which George McGovern narrowly won a straw poll even though we lived in a predominantly Republican area. (I don't know if any of the other teachers conducted straw polks.) Our class was highly engaged, particularly since our teacher let a class member who later became a union organizer talk about the evidence against Nixon prior to the start of class.

 

The secret to having the students’ attention was making the subject matter relevant to their daily life. For example, in the class discussion in the criminal law section, in Missouri the age of consent is 17 and I had everyone’s attention in discussing statutory rape; the class I taught was seniors so there was a mix of 16 and 17 year olds whose partner was often under age.

 

In the employment law section, I would get questions like the students wanting to know if the would get overtime when they worked more than 8 hours a day or on holidays and their was interest in if their employer had to give them work breaks during the day. The discussions applied directly to their lives.

 

There were three females in my class who had babies. They were very interested in wanting to know if the fathers had to pay support and for how long; I could see the worried look on some of the male faces who had a great interest in the question, too.

 

As a volunteer teacher without a teacher’s license, I always had the regular teacher in the classroom to monitor how I was doing. Due to the enthusiasm of the students, I always got high marks and was asked to come back. I did these classes for nine years until my day job became so demanding, I had to give it up.

 

It was not rocket science for me to know that what I taught needed to be relevant to the students’ daily lives. That approach could be used in many other subjects as well. For me, it was great fun seeing the students so attentive and wanting to learn about practical things that affected their lives.

[+ quoththeraven]

@bigjoey, did Missouri not have an exception to the age of consent laws for relationships between people close in age (usually up to four years' difference) where one was underage and the other one wasn't? Laws without such exemptions are really kind of dumb.