Escort requesting a deposit?

[Clintbr]

I recently arranged a session with a RM and after setting the date and time, the guy requested that I send a deposit to hold my place. Is this a common practice?

[Pulgasari1991]

Is this a common practice?

No.

[Mocha]

I recently arranged a session with a RM and after setting the date and time, the guy requested that I send a deposit to hold my place. Is this a common practice?

 

It is. Because it differentiates one from others who make cancel, forget or change plans at the time of booking. For providers like myself who receive many booking requests per day, it often helps to have a deposit arrangement set up, so serious clients aren’t getting their time held up by those who may not show.

 

I usually only ask for them for incalls (where the client comes to me) because I’m often booking or extending hotel stays to host. But if when I’m traveling, I may ask regardless of if I host or travel.

 

It’s pretty common. I have PayPal, cash app and Venmo for client’s convenience.

[marylander1940]

I recently arranged a session with a RM and after setting the date and time, the guy requested that I send a deposit to hold my place. Is this a common practice?

 

Is not a common practice for a regular 1 hour booking bur for an overnight or a trip it is.

[Trick]

It is not common practice. I have been hiring about 2-3 times a month for about 10 years now. Never have I been asked for a deposit.

[MikeBiDude]

No, it is not a common practice. Pass.

[MrMattBig]

I recently arranged a session with a RM and after setting the date and time, the guy requested that I send a deposit to hold my place. Is this a common practice?

Not necessarily common. Depends on the context and situation.

Analytical tip: asking or explaining why is key to figuring out a lot of things in life.

Did he explain why? How did he explain it? Did you ask him why afterwards?

Scams with deposits that are out there tend to have the "escort" saying that they need to make sure you are real and serious, or for safety or anything close to this. If he said that he had another person wanting to meet at the same time, and he wants to make sure you are really coming through so be can tell the other guy he is not available, then it would make more sense. For me asking for a deposit even in this understandable situation becomes a political issue of sorts, so personally I almost always schedule appointments as if they are all showing up and suggest and give open times, instead of having prospective clients be divided over the issue of a deposit.

Context is always important.

Also, if you already had a date and time set, if he didn't ask you if you could possibly meet a little earlier or later, I would be skeptical. That's the first step that should be taken in negotiating schedules and availability.

[+ OliverSaks]

Not a common practice in the m4m world - so infrequent it can easily be avoided by just finding another provider who doesn’t request one

[Mocha]

Not a common practice in the m4m world - so infrequent it can easily be avoided by just finding another provider who doesn’t request one

 

Well here’s the thing: whether it’s common or not is the only question being posed. People are turning it into a “you should or shouldn’t you”, but the OP asked a very simple question...with no negative or positive feedback attached to it. Some of you haven’t even gotten the context of the question, no additional information. What if the escort is being asked to travel a long distance, to a small town (where’s theres few or no prospects of other appointments) and/or get a hotel to see the client?

And I responded giving my perspective: yes it is common for me, but maybe for others it isn’t. And maybe for others it shouldn’t if a provider isn’t in the position where they can assure the visit taking place.

 

As @MrMattBig said, it ultimately depends on the circumstances. If you don’t have to go out of your way, the new client is hosting at a hotel and has already provided the info/time which proves he’s there, or if you’re hosting in a place that’s already paid for, and there’s nothing/nobody you’ll be cancelling to do the appointment for...by all means maybe a deposit isn’t necessary.

 

However I don’t feel those questions really matter. I tell new clients straight up all the time, it’s so that I know you’re serious....and 99% of the time I show up on the date. The times I didn’t, I either refunded the deposit or will go out of my way to be there and reschedule...which have sometimes meant staying in a city a couple days longer than planned.

 

With Cash App, Venmo and PayPal being pretty much accessible with a click of a button, there’s no reason why nowadays anyone should be shocked by a deposit. Even if its $10, just to show you’re real. Uber does it, Lyft does it, all those little food ordering apps do it too.

 

The more male escorts try to sell themselves (and others) short by not asking for chivalry, the less clients are going to give it. Everybody works differently, and most serious clients won’t “look for someone else”, but rather they’ll try to prove in some other way that they will be there as well. I’ve heard too many horror stories of escorts going places on their last $5 of gas, to some bogus clients. Get enough horror stories yourself, you learn real quick. ASAP.

 

Excuse me but last night’s democratic debate has my debate gears revved up lol.

[jjkrkwood]

I never would PAY for anything "upfront" If I don't have it in hand, I don't PAY for it......

[Clintbr]

Well here’s the thing: whether it’s common or not is the only question being posed. People are turning it into a “you should or shouldn’t you”, but the OP asked a very simple question...with no negative or positive feedback attached to it. Some of you haven’t even gotten the context of the question, no additional information. What if the escort is being asked to travel a long distance, to a small town (where’s theres few or no prospects of other appointments) and/or get a hotel to see the client?

And I responded giving my perspective: yes it is common for me, but maybe for others it isn’t. And maybe for others it shouldn’t if a provider isn’t in the position where they can assure the visit taking place.

 

As @MrMattBig said, it ultimately depends on the circumstances. If you don’t have to go out of your way, the new client is hosting at a hotel and has already provided the info/time which proves he’s there, or if you’re hosting in a place that’s already paid for, and there’s nothing/nobody you’ll be cancelling to do the appointment for...by all means maybe a deposit isn’t necessary.

 

However I don’t feel those questions really matter. I tell new clients straight up all the time, it’s so that I know you’re serious....and 99% of the time I show up on the date. The times I didn’t, I either refunded the deposit or will go out of my way to be there and reschedule...which have sometimes meant staying in a city a couple days longer than planned.

 

With Cash App, Venmo and PayPal being pretty much accessible with a click of a button, there’s no reason why nowadays anyone should be shocked by a deposit. Even if its $10, just to show you’re real. Uber does it, Lyft does it, all those little food ordering apps do it too.

 

The more male escorts try to sell themselves (and others) short by not asking for chivalry, the less clients are going to give it. Everybody works differently, and most serious clients won’t “look for someone else”, but rather they’ll try to prove in some other way that they will be there as well. I’ve heard too many horror stories of escorts going places on their last $5 of gas, to some bogus clients. Get enough horror stories yourself, you learn real quick. ASAP.

 

Excuse me but last night’s democratic debate has my debate gears revved up lol.

[Clintbr]

Here’s the context.

My guy is a well known actor and well reviewed RM. He travels almost constantly, a new city every week, mostly major markets. I have followed his ad and videos for years. He posted on his schedule that he was coming to my city. I pounced on the opportunity and requested a date in a very nice text, no questions, no negotiating. My guy agrees. I know from his profile that he asks for limited texts, so I send one more expressing my excitement for upcoming meeting. No response for days!! Then he texts asking if we can move the date 2 weeks earlier? OK, I am flexible and good with that...still excited, all good. We set a new date and time. Then comes the text requesting the deposit.... Ummmmm? In 10 years of frequent hiring I have not been asked for a deposit to be sent. My response just “Sorry, I don’t pay in advance, hope our plan can still work” ..... then the hostile and rude response from my guy... complete boner killer!!! (It was a 90 minute arranged session).... Hey guys, if you want to be businessmen, cover your own expenses...I will pay your fee and always and tip. Remember......These interactions are supposed to be FUN stuff!!!

[MrMattBig]

Sounds to me like he was trying to secure an appointment to cover the costs of his trip. Probably why he asked to move the appointment up so far in advance 2 weeks because he didn't have enough interest or didn't secure deposits for the dates he originally planned.

Two things: I never get why some people react in such a hostile way when faced with some type of rejection (you rejecting his asking of a deposit)

And second, some escorts do need to learn and understand how to run a business (minimize overhead, invest back into business when possible, take calculated risks, spend money to make money). It's not all just showing up and looking sexy.

Edited September 13, 2019 by MrMattBig

[+ VictorPowers]

Two things: I never get why some people react in such a hostile way when faced with some type of rejection.

Sense of Entitlement!

[liubit]

It is not common practice. I have been hiring about 2-3 times a month for about 10 years now. Never have I been asked for a deposit.

Ditto. I have been hiring quite extensively since 1993 -that makes it 26 years!-, both in the US and in Europe, and I have NEVER been asked for a deposit. Never.

[jjkrkwood]

Sounds to me like he was trying to secure an appointment to cover the costs of his trip. Probably why he asked to move the appointment up so far in advance 2 weeks because he didn't have enough interest or didn't secure deposits for the dates he originally planned.

Two things: I never get why some people react in such a hostile way when faced with some type of rejection (you rejecting his asking of a deposit)

And second, some escorts do need to learn and understand how to run a business (minimize overhead, invest back into business when possible, take calculated risks, spend money to make money). It's not all just showing up and looking sexy.

 

It's just a mindset. BOTH escort and client often need attitude adjustments. The escort acts as IF he is doing you some kind of favor... NO he's NOT, you are PAYING for his time, so no need for cocky & arrogant. AND the client needs to understand the logistics of the escorts business. He is trying to maximize profits and minimize time so sometimes scheduling changes are necessary...

 

BOTH parties need to be open , flexible and agreeable to negotiate (to a point) to find common ground (if that is possible) , IF not, the client needs to NOT obsess over the lost opportunity, just MOVE ON . Your life isn't over, HE wasn't gonna marry you, and there are other fish in the sea that want your dolla's….. YES @Clintbear, it should be FUN, not stressful.....stress causes "soft dick"...

[jawjateck]

It's not all just showing up and looking sexy.

 

There are plenty who can't even get that right, much less offer a good time.

[Clintbr]

It's just a mindset. BOTH escort and client often need attitude adjustments. The escort acts as IF he is doing you some kind of favor... NO he's NOT, you are PAYING for his time, so no need for cocky & arrogant. AND the client needs to understand the logistics of the escorts business. He is trying to maximize profits and minimize time so sometimes scheduling changes are necessary...

 

BOTH parties need to be open , flexible and agreeable to negotiate (to a point) to find common ground (if that is possible) , IF not, the client needs to NOT obsess over the lost opportunity, just MOVE ON . Your life isn't over, HE wasn't gonna marry you, and there are other fish in the sea that want your dolla's….. YES @Clintbear, it should be FUN, not stressful.....stress causes "soft dick"...

I appreciate your thoughts!

[MikeBiDude]

With Cash App, Venmo and PayPal being pretty much accessible with a click of a button, there’s no reason why nowadays anyone should be shocked by a deposit.

How does easy access to online payments make a deposit request any more reasonable?

[+ WilliamM]

How does easy access to online payments make a deposit request any more reasonable?

 

No

 

The few people who request a deposit may write very long responses here, but it does not make sense to some people who have to pay the deposit.

Edited September 13, 2019 by WilliamM

[GTMike]

Here’s the context.

My guy is a well known actor and well reviewed RM. He travels almost constantly, a new city every week, mostly major markets. I have followed his ad and videos for years. He posted on his schedule that he was coming to my city. I pounced on the opportunity and requested a date in a very nice text, no questions, no negotiating. My guy agrees. I know from his profile that he asks for limited texts, so I send one more expressing my excitement for upcoming meeting. No response for days!! Then he texts asking if we can move the date 2 weeks earlier? OK, I am flexible and good with that...still excited, all good. We set a new date and time. Then comes the text requesting the deposit.... Ummmmm? In 10 years of frequent hiring I have not been asked for a deposit to be sent. My response just “Sorry, I don’t pay in advance, hope our plan can still work” ..... then the hostile and rude response from my guy... complete boner killer!!! (It was a 90 minute arranged session).... Hey guys, if you want to be businessmen, cover your own expenses...I will pay your fee and always and tip. Remember......These interactions are supposed to be FUN stuff!!!

Here's another contextual question. You mention his profile has been up for years and he's well known and reviewed. i know on RM they can no longer mention specific rates but some do mention requiring deposits. If he's been doing this a long time and requiring deposits in his ordinary course of business, i'd find it hard to believe that he hasn't been used to a significant number of people decline that option. Hence getting angry seems unwarranted and a red flag. To me though if you're still interested you could also privately canvas to get a general sense in private messages to RM reviewers (if they're many and you can get a sense of enough authentic ones) and politely ask if that was their experience as well?

[Mocha]

Here’s the context.

My guy is a well known actor and well reviewed RM. He travels almost constantly, a new city every week, mostly major markets. I have followed his ad and videos for years. He posted on his schedule that he was coming to my city. I pounced on the opportunity and requested a date in a very nice text, no questions, no negotiating. My guy agrees. I know from his profile that he asks for limited texts, so I send one more expressing my excitement for upcoming meeting. No response for days!! Then he texts asking if we can move the date 2 weeks earlier? OK, I am flexible and good with that...still excited, all good. We set a new date and time. Then comes the text requesting the deposit.... Ummmmm? In 10 years of frequent hiring I have not been asked for a deposit to be sent. My response just “Sorry, I don’t pay in advance, hope our plan can still work” ..... then the hostile and rude response from my guy... complete boner killer!!! (It was a 90 minute arranged session).... Hey guys, if you want to be businessmen, cover your own expenses...I will pay your fee and always and tip. Remember......These interactions are supposed to be FUN stuff!!!

 

Thanks for explaining that.

 

Unfortunately I can’t comment on the person’s specific requirements for asking for a deposit because I don’t know the extent of it.

 

In my case, if someone doesn’t feel comfortable paying a deposit, I’m still willing to work something out. Even if they do, it’s usually something nominal. In your situation, it sounded like he was perhaps wanting you to be the “anchor” client to go to that city versus actually going there. But then again I don’t know. I can’t speculate on what someone else needs a deposit for, I can only express my own.

 

 

Sounds to me like he was trying to secure an appointment to cover the costs of his trip.

 

And second, some escorts do need to learn and understand how to run a business (minimize overhead, invest back into business when possible, take calculated risks, spend money to make money). It's not all just showing up and looking sexy.

 

Again, could be true but that’s speculation. We don’t know for sure.

 

But to answer your second line, all of that may very well be true and an escort can understand all of those concepts, but it still doesn’t negate an individual person’s reasons to ask for a deposit. It’s like hotels: many hotels ask to hold money for a deposit, many don’t.

 

Here’s another example for me: This year, I been taking a break from touring every 2 to 4 weeks, and I go “home”. Home means I’m not in a hotel everyday, home means I reside with other people, not to mention home is on an acreage of land an hour south of the metro city.

 

Over the course of many years stopping in Kansas City (I would regularly drive between Denver and the east/south), I have gotten many people asking me to host...the nights I was in a hotel, people wouldn’t even show up.

Now that it’s been my base, people still ask me to host...and I’ve had people cancel/no show just as I’m booking the hotel.

 

So now, if someone wants me to host in Kansas City or any city where I already have a place to lay my head, but have to host a sexual encounter elsewhere, I have them confirm by leaving a small deposit. Otherwise I’d be running around booking rooms for every person who asks me to host, and be wasting my time if they only intend to cancel or go ghost before I even get there.

[Mocha]

How does easy access to online payments make a deposit request any more reasonable?

 

Because many clients already have Venmo, PayPal and Cash App accounts as it is. And many are willing to do so. Of course there’s some who don’t. I try to work with everyone to give the best assurance on both sides.

 

No

 

The few people who request a deposit may write very long responses here, but it does not make sense to some people who have to pay the deposit.

 

Well, then why have I had so many people send me deposits over time? Obviously I’m not the only escort in the world asking for them.

 

But again, it’s all down to preference. I’ve had some escorts tell me personally they don’t want to accept deposits for out of town visits, because it obligates them to be there to meet the demands of the deposit.

 

And as I said too: I don’t take a deposit for every appointment, only those that may involve extra preparation on my part...or to gauge the seriousness of a client. Sometimes I’ll even ask a deposit just to size someone up.

 

One guy wanted to come with all these fantasies, but wanted me to host for it. Okay chump, well make a deposit and show me you’re going to show up. He just kept talking, but I didn’t see any deposit.

[Milo Farnsworth]

As a client I would NEVER pay a deposit. It's unheard of! I learned the hard way never to pay up front. Same principle.

[ReidReid]

I have a few clients who use the cashapp and I'm on the fence about it. I would never expect a deposit but appreciate when someone makes an effort and might send something along for cancelling last minute. I feel it all comes down to respect for the situation and each other's time.