Confused and conflicted

[MrMattBig]

I was contacted by someone via text today who confessed that it would be doubtful that our paths would cross to meet, but still wanted to talk on the phone. I politely explained that I don't really field calls if someone is not going to make an effort to meet, and that I am not doing any Skype/Phone services till after the new year. They then proceeded to explain that they have cerebral palsy and don't pay for escorts and don't understand why anyone would. We then go back and forth with an intellectual but very disjointed back and forth "argument" on what his intentions and expectations were when he contacted me. On one hand I want to feel compassion and understanding of his displayed cognitive short comings related to the cerebral palsy. On the other hand I am screaming in my head with my sarcastic Scorpio opinion of why the f*ck would someone be on RM, search in a different city than where they are located to begin with, and then go out of their way to contact an escort with no intention of meeting, and a clear disdain or nonacceptance of those who charge or hire??

 

To tie it back in, as escorts our number is out there for ANYONE and EVERYONE to contact us. So when some of us vent or complain about time wasters and others who contact us, just try and remember and imagine situations like the one above and others more extreme, and imagine this was an occurrence that could happen day in and day out at all hours. How would you handle it? Some do so well ( I am currently pivoting and reading up on cerebral palsy as I type this) and with others it can build situation after situation until it becomes a "had it up to here" feeling.

[+ Reisr30]

@MrMattBig I think some people with cerebral palsy have their cognitive abilities impacted which means he may not fully understand the situation (not a doctor or psychiatrist so take this with a grain of salt). I think you were more than kind to hear him out and engage in a discussion. But it would make sense to not continue to engage with him if he doesn’t understand. I think his case may be different than a time waster without a mental disability though. Just my perspective...

[+ WilliamM]

I volunteered on a child abuse prevention hotline from 1977 to 1982.

Use active listening on a call like that.

 

Example: it sounds like you are really upset.

 

Let him vent. And then say I have another call on the line.

 

I wouldn't say that to an abuser or a relative of an abuser though.

[+ Reisr30]

I volunteered on a child abuse prevention hotline from 1977 to 1982.

Use active listening on a call like that.

 

Example: it sounds like you are really upset.

 

Let him vent. And then say I have another call on the line.

 

I wouldn't say that to an abuser or a relative of an abuser though.

 

I think I can use this advice on some of my work calls...?

[MrMattBig]

I volunteered on a child abuse prevention hotline from 1977 to 1982.

Use active listening on a call like that.

 

Example: it sounds like you are really upset.

 

Let him vent. And then say I have another call on the line.

 

I wouldn't say that to an abuser or a relative of an abuser though.

Pretty much exactly what I did. I made a few points and suggestions, listened and empathized with some of what he said, then eventually said I have a few other texts to attend to and quietly walked away from the conversation.

[Rudynate]

Pretty much exactly what I did. I made a few points and suggestions, listened and empathized with some of what he said, then eventually said I have a few other texts to attend to and quietly walked away from the conversation.

 

 

Timewaster. Timewasters are often nice people who mean well but they're still timewasters. I get an amazing number of calls from timewasters and I have become ruthless in dealing with them. Some have sad stories indeed, but the bottom line is if they can't pay my fee, I don't want to talk with them. Sometimes they are so determined to be heard that the only way to get rid of them is to hang up on them. I tell them that I have to get back to work and that I'm going to hang up and then I do.

[+ nycman]

How would you handle it?

I wouldn’t respond from the beginning.

 

I don’t have time for crap like that...

 

Cerebral palsy, traumatic brain injury, mononucleosis, chronic fatigue....or just plain stupid.

 

It’s all the same to me. I run a business....not a social work department.

[rvwnsd]

I was contacted by someone via text today who confessed that it would be doubtful that our paths would cross to meet,.....

 

I would not waste my time with this. A polite message stating they could contact you should they be in a position to hire would be more than fine. And then don't reply to further texts.

 

Call me a cynic (I call myself one so, please, feel free), but you really don't know whether the guy has cerebral palsy or is another twisted game-player.

[MrMattBig]

Call me a cynic (I call myself one so, please, feel free), but you really don't know whether the guy has cerebral palsy or is another twisted game-player.

Exactly my thoughts!

The "I don't pay for sex" comments didn't come until well into the conversation. While not familiar with cerebral palsy, the overall signs pointed to delusion and psychosis more than anything.

[+ WilliamM]

Exactly my thoughts!

The "I don't pay for sex" comments didn't come until well into the conversation. While not familiar with cerebral palsy, the overall signs pointed to delusion and psychosis more than anything.

 

Give you a great deal of credit for trying to pay attention ? .

[LaffingBear]

why the f*ck would someone be on RM, search in a different city than where they are located to begin with, and then go out of their way to contact an escort with no intention of meeting, and a clear disdain or nonacceptance of those who charge or hire??

I suggest not overthinking it. There are many responses correlating the behavior to CP.

 

People engage in irrational, time-wasting behaviors online all the time. They engage in online arguments.. seek confrontation on social media, have tweet-fights, etc.

 

Why do guys ask some of the inane questions we see on here? There are people who never have and never will hire a rentguy, but are fascinated by the topic and active here.

 

In all likelihood, he's not wasting your time with pointless arguments because he has CP; he's wasting your time with pointless arguments because he has access to the internet.

[+ Eric Hassan]

I was contacted by someone via text today who confessed that it would be doubtful that our paths would cross to meet, but still wanted to talk on the phone. I politely explained that I don't really field calls if someone is not going to make an effort to meet, and that I am not doing any Skype/Phone services till after the new year. They then proceeded to explain that they have cerebral palsy and don't pay for escorts and don't understand why anyone would. We then go back and forth with an intellectual but very disjointed back and forth "argument" on what his intentions and expectations were when he contacted me. On one hand I want to feel compassion and understanding of his displayed cognitive short comings related to the cerebral palsy. On the other hand I am screaming in my head with my sarcastic Scorpio opinion of why the f*ck would someone be on RM, search in a different city than where they are located to begin with, and then go out of their way to contact an escort with no intention of meeting, and a clear disdain or nonacceptance of those who charge or hire??

 

To tie it back in, as escorts our number is out there for ANYONE and EVERYONE to contact us. So when some of us vent or complain about time wasters and others who contact us, just try and remember and imagine situations like the one above and others more extreme, and imagine this was an occurrence that could happen day in and day out at all hours. How would you handle it? Some do so well ( I am currently pivoting and reading up on cerebral palsy as I type this) and with others it can build situation after situation until it becomes a "had it up to here" feeling.

 

The little I know about you tells me you have a big heart and this is further evidence that you truly care. That's sweet, but sometimes doesn't get you anywhere. Personally, the moment I notice I'm dealing with a timewaster, I cut off the conversation immediately. No sad stories, no back and forth, no seeing what might happen - just end it. It might feel cruel or rude, but it's not up to you to figure out what's going on with the person on the other end - they are wasting your time, intentional or not, cognitive impairment or not.

 

Anyway, I love that you also pivoted to learn more about CP. It's not something a lot of people understand.