Time is money - Providers and Clients need to respect Time.

[Daniel84]

Here is a mini-rant,

 

I have been a massage therapist for about 8 years or so. I relocated from LA/SF to DC to help take care of my mom who is suffering from lupus. I started Escorting on and off for a few months. I just don't understand people; I was scheduled with a client and confirmed today. Fifteen mins ago he said I was flake because I won't give out my apt number to clients off of Rent.men. I have had issues where clients would be high or just creepy. As a business owner, I can dictate my hours and how I operate for my own safety. When I confirm with a client they have my address and the code to buzz in. I always meet the client in the lobby for the safety of both of us.

 

I am starting to question if I should even bother advertising on Rent.men. I never get this many no show or flakes practicing massage.

 

I am pleading with clients if you have second thoughts, or you decided that you don't want to hire someone. Just send an email and cancel with notice. In my case, I am using this money to take care of my family and would rather book clients who actually respect me and my time.

 

 

Thank you

 

You're Friendly neighborhood Spiderman..... ( Massage Therapist)

[+ azdr0710]

first, thanks for the the time you are giving to your mother and to your family......I'm sure they appreciate it and are grateful......

 

I'm not going to say you're the first to have a complaint about flaky clients because you aren't (cough, cough, Mocha, cough, cough).....it's a colossal problem for many providers.......it's possible (?) the client(s) don't want to meet you in the lobby for their own privacy (seen by others with you)....they may want to be as discreet as possible and slip in/out unnoticed.......or they may be flakes!

 

my only practical advice is to inform the clients very early in pre-meet communication that you will meet in your building's lobby and that you don't give out your apartment number because of past problems....it's then up to the client to decide if that will work for him or not......ask him if that will be ok

[MrMattBig]

Some use the term "flake" with reckless abandon who, seem to have a "different" view of the world. I have been called a flake after I wouldn't pull my dick out in front of the guys house, in the middle of a residential neighborhood, with people out walking their dogs. Shake it off and keep doing amazing work. As a tip, when I have a scheduled client who asks for the apt/room number in advance, I always accept its a 50/50. Those who do so often end up going MIA, play games, or cancel.

[builder boy]

Here is a mini-rant,

 

I have been a massage therapist for about 8 years or so. I relocated from LA/SF to DC to help take care of my mom who is suffering from lupus. I started Escorting on and off for a few months. I just don't understand people; I was scheduled with a client and confirmed today. Fifteen mins ago he said I was flake because I won't give out my apt number to clients off of Rent.men. I have had issues where clients would be high or just creepy. As a business owner, I can dictate my hours and how I operate for my own safety. When I confirm with a client they have my address and the code to buzz in. I always meet the client in the lobby for the safety of both of us.

 

I am starting to question if I should even bother advertising on Rent.men. I never get this many no show or flakes practicing massage.

 

I am pleading with clients if you have second thoughts, or you decided that you don't want to hire someone. Just send an email and cancel with notice. In my case, I am using this money to take care of my family and would rather book clients who actually respect me and my time.

 

 

Thank you

 

You're Friendly neighborhood Spiderman..... ( Massage Therapist)

And that goes both ways.

[MrMattBig]

Why would a "client" care about discretion and being seen at someone ELSES building lol. Its not like they are the one who lives there, it makes no sense to me. I agree with everything else though hehe

I have had a few who didn't want to bear the awkwardness of waiting outside the door or in a lobby. Understandable.

That though then becomes the responsibility of the client to communicate that concern and then the escort reassuring that they will accommodate their concerns.

[Mocha]

Pretty much the same thing I said in another thread regarding deposits and clients from Rentmen. Hopefully being that you are a White provider, people will now take this issue more seriously instead of trying to scapegoat the ethnic providers by suggesting they “find other lines of work, are crazy for taking deposits, and aren’t happy”.

 

I recently got selected to offer tips to Rent-men (and it was a very generous thing they offered, as I have suggested things to them before in the past), and one of my suggestions to them was they need to get more proactive about helping us to weed out flakes. We are giving them our money, but they aren’t putting enough protocols in place. We pay $79.95, only to be fooled around with for the 1st few days our ad hits. Being able to block users isn’t enough.

[Daniel84]

Here is the funny part;

 

The client states he dialed the code ( He did not). Now he's asking for " Complimentary hour for free" because I didn't buzz him up...

 

I have a feeling this client's MO is to flake on a provider and then ask for a free hour.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

Why would a "client" care about discretion and being seen at someone ELSES building lol.

But @azdr0710 is a minor celebrity and would be recognised by some!

(Only joking, but some clients actually might be. We all know how family-oriented republican congressmen like bit of male action on the side...)

[Daniel84]

first, thanks for the the time you are giving to your mother and to your family......I'm sure they appreciate it and are grateful......

 

I'm not going to say you're the first to have a complaint about flaky clients because you aren't (cough, cough, Mocha, cough, cough).....it's a colossal problem for many providers.......it's possible (?) the client(s) don't want to meet you in the lobby for their own privacy (seen by others with you)....they may want to be as discreet as possible and slip in/out unnoticed.......or they may be flakes!

 

my only practical advice is to inform the clients very early in pre-meet communication that you will meet in your building's lobby and that you don't give out your apartment number because of past problems....it's then up to the client to decide if that will work for him or not......ask him if that will be ok

 

Thank you :-)

 

Going forward I will not book any clients from the message service on rent.men. If you want info and more pictures you can text me. I am also removing my private photos as people use rent.men to replace what was tumblr.

[DDad4ynger]

I know Daniel quite well and he is anything but a flake! I can’t even imagine having to deal with some of these clients.

He’s always polite, courteous, warm and very clear When he’s making an appointment..

Hang in there buddy!

[Daniel84]

I have had a few who didn't want to bear the awkwardness of waiting outside the door or in a lobby. Understandable.

That though then becomes the responsibility of the client to communicate that concern and then the escort reassuring that they will accommodate their concerns.

 

He was never at my apartment. He emailed me later asking for a free hour to " Make up for his time"

[Daniel84]

I know Daniel quite well and he is anything but a flake! I can’t even imagine having to deal with some of these clients.

He’s always polite, courteous, warm and very clear When he’s making an appointment..

Hang in there buddy!

 

Always a pleasure chatting with you :-)

[down_to_business]

Thank you for your respectful post on this topic. I really appreciate you noting both sides need to respect each other's time as it can seem very one-sided around here on this topic. It is also inexcusable for a game-player to disrespect your time like this.

 

It is sometimes hard for forum members to read about all the complaints about client flakiness because in a way, you are preaching to an audience who is not likely to engage in such behavior. Forum members are (in general) really good clients. Of course there are exceptions to every rule.

 

Safety for yourself is a very reasonable concern. I generally do not give out my unit number or hotel number when I meet an escort for the first time either, preferring to meet in the lobby (hotel) or at a very nearby Starbucks (for home). I do run across an occasional escort who will refuse to meet me under these circumstances. I also will not compromise my safety so when that rare escort refuses to accept this, the appointment is off.

[MrMattBig]

Here is the funny part;

 

The client states he dialed the code ( He did not). Now he's asking for " Complimentary hour for free" because I didn't buzz him up...

 

I have a feeling this client's MO is to flake on a provider and then ask for a free hour.

Absolutely his MO. Sorry that happened to you.

[Trick]

Why would a "client" care about discretion and being seen at someone ELSES building lol. Its not like they are the one who lives there, it makes no sense to me. I agree with everything else though hehe

 

Some clients may know a lot of people in the vicinity. The concern is understandable especially for closeted ones.

[Trick]

 

Thank you for your respectful post on this topic.

 

 

Respect begets respect. Most members here want to be of help to both clients and providers. After all, we are in a “symbiotic” relationship.

 

It is not the complaints about flaky clients and providers that inflame the discussions here. We are well aware of that problem. It is the negativity and the toxicity that is thrown around that messes up amicable discussions. Even now this respectful thread is being hijacked with the race card. ?‍♂️

Hopefully we can steer away from that.

[Trick]

lol at closeted, that brings me back to many instances of clients saying they can't give me their number bc their closeted. But yet they want my building number and apartment number, its just not smart for a first time client, bc just as the op said that guy ended up flaking.

 

If the provider is hosting at a hotel, I ask for the hotel name and location, not the room number. That can wait until I get to the parking lot. If hosting at his place, I ask for the general location. My usual question is, “May I ask what side of town you’re at?” As I have mentioned in another thread, there are areas in my city I would not go to no matter how hot the provider is.

[sexymonk]

Here is a mini-rant,

 

I have been a massage therapist for about 8 years or so. I relocated from LA/SF to DC to help take care of my mom who is suffering from lupus. I started Escorting on and off for a few months. I just don't understand people; I was scheduled with a client and confirmed today. Fifteen mins ago he said I was flake because I won't give out my apt number to clients off of Rent.men. I have had issues where clients would be high or just creepy. As a business owner, I can dictate my hours and how I operate for my own safety. When I confirm with a client they have my address and the code to buzz in. I always meet the client in the lobby for the safety of both of us.

 

I am starting to question if I should even bother advertising on Rent.men. I never get this many no show or flakes practicing massage.

 

I am pleading with clients if you have second thoughts, or you decided that you don't want to hire someone. Just send an email and cancel with notice. In my case, I am using this money to take care of my family and would rather book clients who actually respect me and my time.

 

 

Thank you

 

You're Friendly neighborhood Spiderman..... ( Massage Therapist)

1) I would say that simply treat every new request as flake until they show up.

2) manage your time and for quality sake take 2-3 clients each day. And that means book 5 clients assuming 50% will flake!

3) stick to regulars.

4) in every business even when buying or selling products, clients flake/ there is no show up. Get over it. This is business and don't get emotional.

5) set up strategy for your income target and you will see result.

6) at end deliver. That thing goes far than what you can imagine or expect!

7) an approximate address like building number or corner is enough for first timers for safety reasons. Once you meet the person or seen the person then you can give buzzer code/ apt number!

[sexymonk]

Here is the funny part;

 

The client states he dialed the code ( He did not). Now he's asking for " Complimentary hour for free" because I didn't buzz him up...

 

I have a feeling this client's MO is to flake on a provider and then ask for a free hour.

Ok say if the client buzzed and there was no response then why he didn't called you on phone? Clearly, the client is scam artist!

[Trick]

 

Hopefully being that you are a White provider, people will now take this issue more seriously instead of trying to scapegoat the ethnic providers by suggesting they “find other lines of work, are crazy for taking deposits, and aren’t happy”.

 

 

Mocha, Mocha, Mocha, it is not the COLOR OF YOUR SKIN that is causing the negative reactions you are getting from this forum. It is your attitude and your tone, your sense of entitlement, your contempt for clients, your refusal to see other people’s perspective, and now the race card that you are playing that is turning you into a pariah in this community. You may hate me for this but I just have to say it. Your earlier reviews online say you are a very nice guy. Unfortunately, that is not the impression you are leaving here.

[MrMattBig]

Respect begets respect. Most members here want to be of help to both clients and providers. After all, we are in a “symbiotic” relationship.

 

It is not the complaints about flaky clients and providers that inflame the discussions here. We are well aware of that problem. It is the negativity and the toxicity that is thrown around that messes up amicable discussions. Even now this respectful thread is being hijacked with the race card. ?‍♂️

Hopefully we can steer away from that.

If I may slightly play devil's advocate. Some negativity and toxicity may come about because others don't know how to deal with the negativity that may be thrown their way first. For example, I am still a bit salty on the tone a 411 thread on me went in the past. I got torn to bits over things that got misinterpreted, things that were party due to the hosting service I was using for my website, and inexperience. But when it came to help or suggestions, it was lacking and almost all criticism without constructiveness. Some posters on that thread have since apologized personally, and I have moved on and was never really looking to defend myself to the point of becoming negative, but only explain certain circumstances. I have always been a problem solver, so when negativity is thrown my way, instead of fighting back with negativity, I figure out how to stop it in the first place. Others may do the opposite. And still others are set in their ways because of how they have been conditioned to meet negativity with negativity over the course of this cycle.

 

To be clear I am not making excuse for anyone, because part of this job is having the ability to deal with all the negatives. But, if we were all a bit more helpful and not as quick to point blame or jump to conclusions, there would be a lot less negativity here.

Edited July 31, 2019 by MrMattBig

[+ oldNbusted]

Closest thing to it now is an ad on Craigslist selling items.

 

I would, and have, given away stuff rather than deal with the CL insanity.

[Mocha]

To be clear I am not making excuse for anyone, because part of this job is having the ability to deal with all the negatives. But, if we were all a bit more helpful and not as quick to point blame or jump to conclusions, there would be a lot less negativity here.

 

People here have a pack mentality. When one person doesn’t agree, they all want to disagree. They don’t even try to take the time to understand fully what the person is referring to. They turn a whole topic into something negative by bringing irrelevant things to the forefront.

 

I invite anyone who is a naysayer about our issues, to try being one for a day. I don’t care what age or how hot your body isn’t. Try putting up an ad with your phone number and photos and email out to the public, and then report back. Closest thing to it now is an ad on Craigslist selling items. I’ve bought 2 cars from Craigslist, and each time I meet the buyer, they are so exhausted from having to deal with people not showing up or not having the money, they practically just give me the car because they see I always look like money.

 

Imagine doing that everyday, for years. It wears on you.

 

This the same thing I was talking about in the hotel thread and the same one in the deposit thread. 2 threads that turned nasty, and yes it is about race. It’s always about race. When @TylerandAce posted their thread about flakes on Twitter, nobody came in and crapped on their thread. It doesn’t matter if the message is delivered with a bow and ribbon or wrapped in foil. It’s the same message.

 

I already know how this thing goes. It’s evident in the people who post and the ones who don’t. The BL posters here like @hypothetically who don’t catch much flak, do so because they very rarely start any new threads, and if they do it’s very light in nature. Many don’t even come back to respond because they’re afraid of being treated like they do me. Because that’s how they want us to be here.

 

The only ones who can make a post on here asking people to adjust their behavior, are...well, I won’t pull the R card. But it’s he majority of the posters on the forum. And at this point, if anyone wanted to see my real life personality, they should have booked their hotel and travel in advance like I did to Palm Springs...and got to meet the in person me, like 50 other people did.

 

So anything else is null and void. But anyhow, I’ll walk away because I don’t want to distract from the ultimate goal of this topic.

[Guest]

Here is the funny part;

 

The client states he dialed the code ( He did not). Now he's asking for " Complimentary hour for free" because I didn't buzz him up...

 

I have a feeling this client's MO is to flake on a provider and then ask for a free hour.

 

Here's an even funnier part;

 

Didn't you make a client stand in your apartment complex hallway for over 10 minutes while you kept saying through the door that you were almost ready?

 

Fine. You go stand out in a NOHO apartment complex 3rd floor hallway while shouts come from behind a door "just give me a little more time'...

Edited July 31, 2019 by Oaktown

[MrMattBig]

People here have a pack mentality. When one person doesn’t agree, they all want to disagree. They don’t even try to take the time to understand fully what the person is referring to. They turn a whole topic into something negative by bringing irrelevant things to the forefront.

 

I invite anyone who is a naysayer about our issues, to try being one for a day. I don’t care what age or how hot your body isn’t. Try putting up an ad with your phone number and photos and email out to the public, and then report back. Closest thing to it now is an ad on Craigslist selling items. I’ve bought 2 cars from Craigslist, and each time I meet the buyer, they are so exhausted from having to deal with people not showing up or not having the money, they practically just give me the car because they see I always look like money.

 

Imagine doing that everyday, for years. It wears on you.

 

This the same thing I was talking about in the hotel thread and the same one in the deposit thread. 2 threads that turned nasty, and yes it is about race. It’s always about race. When @TylerandAce posted their thread about flakes on Twitter, nobody came in and crapped on their thread. It doesn’t matter if the message is delivered with a bow and ribbon or wrapped in foil. It’s the same message.

 

I already know how this thing goes. It’s evident in the people who post and the ones who don’t. The BL posters here like @hypothetically who don’t catch much flak, do so because they very rarely start any new threads, and if they do it’s very generally speaking. Because that’s how they want us to be here.

 

The only ones who can make a post on here asking people to adjust their behavior, are...well, I won’t pull the R card.

 

Pack mentality is everywhere, not just here, and only a relatively small amount of individuals have the mentality to do their best to avoid it.

Yes, race can be a factor in our business. I had one inquiry from a Caucasian male who got upset because I don't speak Spanish and fit into his stereotype of a Hispanic provider. However, you continually ignore and dismiss the fact that the tone that you present yourself with is the reason why some "crap" on your threads.

 

" It doesn’t matter if the message is delivered with a bow and ribbon or wrapped in foil. It’s the same message."

It might be the same message, but the primary point of any message is to reach its target and be interpreted as intended, so the delivery does matter. Interpretation of the receiver ends up being the reality, regardless of how the sender views the message.

 

I even look back at that same 411 thread about me, and realize if I had had the mind to frame my responses better, but I was still holding on to a regular world overnight job with great benefits, and probably was a bit fatigued and distracted when responding.

 

What I was trying to communicate is that there are some actions and traits within escorts that may be circumstantial and should not be final grounds to judge the merit of an escort. And then there are some that should be. And clients and humans everywhere should be a little more open minded and inquisitive to find the difference. But if you keep lacking humility and an open mind yourself to the reality you have a hand in creating as well, you are most likely going to keep being met with the same attitude.