Touching!

[Guest fm0322]

This topic has been discussed before but I'm curious to check in again about it. Namely, touching the masseur during a massage. What I like is the massage. It feels great and I always feel good afterward. There is an explicit intimacy in being touched by another person. But, I have no expectations other than getting a terrific massage. I choose spas for men because as a gay man, I feel most comfortable there. Reading many posts here, I get that many on the forum expect to freely touch the masseur. When I put myself in the position of the masseur, there is no way that I would want to be touched by every client during a day. I have always considered touching the masseur as a boundary that I do not cross unless there is permission/encouragement to do it. Sometimes it happens, but mostly not. A HE is nice but it's not a given. Sometimes. i don't want it and say so. I learned at a young age many creative ways to give myself pleasure so it's not part of the "service" I am seeking when I go to a spa. My question is, what practices do you employ before crossing the touching boundary?

[jeezifonly]

At a spa, masseurs are employees that have to follow the house rules - allowing the client to touch may be a violation. If you are in the mood for MT and/or HE, try to find an independent contractor through any of the sites mentioned in these forum threads. I like spas - I usually get really good bodywork, and enjoy sauna steam, etc. I never go expecting to touch the masseur, or having him give me a HE. I hire that service separately. It’s a terrific fantasy that spa amenities and services will include touch and release - some posts on the forum read like letters to Penthouse. Sure, it might happen, but I think the odds are not in the client’s favor.

[Guest fm0322]

True about the posts which is why I posted this thread. It’s not my experience

[+ FrankR]

This topic has been discussed before but I'm curious to check in again about it. Namely, touching the masseur during a massage. What I like is the massage. It feels great and I always feel good afterward. There is an explicit intimacy in being touched by another person. But, I have no expectations other than getting a terrific massage. I choose spas for men because as a gay man, I feel most comfortable there. Reading many posts here, I get that many on the forum expect to freely touch the masseur. When I put myself in the position of the masseur, there is no way that I would want to be touched by every client during a day. I have always considered touching the masseur as a boundary that I do not cross unless there is permission/encouragement to do it. Sometimes it happens, but mostly not. A HE is nice but it's not a given. Sometimes. i don't want it and say so. I learned at a young age many creative ways to give myself pleasure so it's not part of the "service" I am seeking when I go to a spa. My question is, what practices do you employ before crossing the touching boundary?

I don't go into a massage session at a spa expecting more than a good massage. Perfectly happy to take a breath, relax and enjoy the massage. I will admit I go into the session hoping that there will be chemistry but it is not an expectation. Also read the body language of the masseur. Sometimes touching is invited. Or not - if there is lots of chatter about his husband or boyfriend, I will likely refrain.

 

When I go for a massage outside of a spa environment, I usually discuss my expectations of the session with the provider ahead of time to make sure the masseur is comfortable with my requests. (Granted, my needs appear to be pretty vanilla compared with most so that discussion is usually pretty easy!)

[CMail01]

I absolutely don’t touch the masseur unless he states it’s okay, or he makes it clear during the massage (you’ll know), or I ask if it’s okay, and if it is, I “respectfully” lightly touch/caress their calf, for example, to hopefully demonstrate I’m not a douchebag.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

At a spa, if my arms are already hanging from the table, I might start lightly touching his calves. Or if he is holding my hands while doing stretches, I might run my thumb long his. I've never had a masseur respond negatively from those actions. It doesn't always lead to more, but that little bit of mutual contact makes a good massage even better.

[+ beethoven]

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here. Yes, the OP makes a lot of sense - - for him. Many of us use touch as a signal to what we would like the spa masseur to do. I say SPA masseur, because clients usually cannot come out and say what they want, AND expect an answer. It's entirely different with a private masseur who's not an employee of a place that can be closed by the authorities.

[+ EVdude]

This topic has been discussed before but I'm curious to check in again about it. Namely, touching the masseur during a massage. What I like is the massage. It feels great and I always feel good afterward. There is an explicit intimacy in being touched by another person. But, I have no expectations other than getting a terrific massage. I choose spas for men because as a gay man, I feel most comfortable there. Reading many posts here, I get that many on the forum expect to freely touch the masseur. When I put myself in the position of the masseur, there is no way that I would want to be touched by every client during a day. I have always considered touching the masseur as a boundary that I do not cross unless there is permission/encouragement to do it. Sometimes it happens, but mostly not. A HE is nice but it's not a given. Sometimes. i don't want it and say so. I learned at a young age many creative ways to give myself pleasure so it's not part of the "service" I am seeking when I go to a spa. My question is, what practices do you employ before crossing the touching boundary?

@fm0322 I’m somewhat on the same page as you. I don’t expect to be allowed to touch. And even when given overt permission or encouragement, particularly early or midway thru, I ‘typically’ stick to a natural caressing touch that doesn’t require me exerting much effort or movement. I do enjoy the thrill of the dance and wondering if their could be more especially when I’m face down. In the end it’s about me not him. Now if an HE is initiated, I have an almost uncontrollable automatic response to grab and hold the masseurs leg, be he dressed or nude. And I can say that in all my years of getting massage, I can only remember twice having my hand pushed away. This is the point where I have to make decision on whether to go further with the touch. I get some pushback, but still not very often. I do try to gauge if they are into it and enjoying it. If the masseur is staring straight ahead or up at the ceiling, I back off. But if he looks into my eyes, smiles and pops one himself, then I’m all in.

[Madman]

In a spa situation I don't expect anything to happen and frankly don't really want anything to happen (that's too much risk/hassle for my taste). However for an in call at the masseur's apartment/house or a hotel room or an out call at my place while I don't really go into a first time session expecting to touch the masseur I usually let them drive the course of events and I'd say I've probably received an HE more than 95% of the time, had some degree of touch at least 50% of the time and ended up with both of us happy at least some of the time.

 

As Cmail01 says masseurs will generally let you know (subtle signs placing their dick in your upturned hand or the even more subtle move of them stretching your arm and pressing your hand into their naked crotch are pretty good signs). That said even when they've made it pretty clear it's OK to touch unless they've outright said go ahead and touch I still ask.