Really need some good advice

[Guest danwallace]

Gentlemen:

 

I've written a few times here asking for advice on which escorts to hire in different areas. The advice has been fantastic and I get the feeling that those who respond actually want to see me do well. I am 47, great shape, handsome, widowed and a closeted newbie to the MFM sex. Here is what I need advice on. I live in the Chicago area, I steer way clear of any bars, gay or otherwise. I am very masculine and am looking for the hot guy next door who just happens to be gay? Am I being realistic? I know I want a relationship with a guy now but have to stay closeted. I am looking for the same, another guy who wants a relationship but also wants to stay closeted.

 

Am I being realistic? All my friends are married and straight. My coworkers, family and friends have no idea about my other life. Right now, I can't share this with anyone.

 

I am getting very lonely, but want to find Mr. Right. Think George Clooney.... Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks,

 

Dan

[jackhammer91406]

Dunno how the others here might feel, but if you are looking for a relationship, chances are the closet is going to be too small for the two of you (if you can find him).

 

I think to be available for a relationship to happen, you kinda have to deal with the closet question. We all come to it at our own pace, but I would find it hard to become involved with someone who can't introduce me to his family and friends.

 

But just my opinion. I wish you much luck and happiness.

[+ purplekow]

Well I for one am available but that think George Clooney is a bit far off, think hmmmm Dom DeLouise the handsome years.

So beside me and you, you might find someone to have fun with at a gay resort vacation or on a gay cruise. That way you can stay away from the local gay bars and the prying eyes of family and friends. Once you are free to explore this side of your sexuality in a relatively stress free environment, you will have more information about how and when to come out.

You don't mention as to whether you have children. If you do, a solo vacation may be more difficult to arrange but it seems to me it would be worth it.

There are lots of men in a situation similar to yours but you have to work a lot harder at meeting someone if you want to keep your "gay" life and your faux "straight" life separate.

[Guest novabear22031]

I think there are many of us out there that are wanting what you are looking for.

 

There are those that are out of the closet, but want a serious LTR - even with those with "limits".

 

Just re-entered the dating arena after the beginning of the year - after a painful break-up two years earlier. . I have kissed a lot of "frogs" so far, but it has given me hope that my princess is out there.

 

It is a long process, but online sites like gay.com, silverdaddies.com, and so many others offer the chance to meet. To be honest, some times it will be just a tumble in the hay. But in the end it does give a certain validation that that others do find our attributes attractive.

 

My only complaint, despite my profile, is that I am hit upon by those that just are looking for fuck buddies... I do want more than a fuck buddy....

 

In the end about your original question - are you wanting to live the "best of both worlds"? Meaning are you wanting to keep the wife and kids. or are you wanting a man that can live with limits on how "open" you all are?

[jawjateck]

>I am 47, great shape, handsome, widowed and a closeted newbie to the MFM sex. I am very masculine and am looking for the hot guy next door who just happens to be gay? I know I want a relationship with a guy now but have to stay closeted. I am looking for the same, another guy who wants a relationship but also wants to stay closeted.

 

Can I hire you? :9

 

Where are you located? You are my perfect mate! We should meet! ;-) Don't give up, and stay positive. There are many more just like you and me. We just need to find each other.

[+ Charlie]

I hate to tell you, but there aren't a lot of gay George Clooneys, and the competition for the few who are available is fierce; trying to compete from within the closet is like entering a knife fight armed with a spoon. Assuming that you would be willing to accept a relationship with a normal human being rather than a fantasy figure, the best place to find one, as others have suggested, is in a gay setting. That doesn't necessarily mean a gay bar--they're designed for finding a quick fuck, not a life partner (although that doesn't mean it can't happen). Instead, look at what your other interests are--hiking, collecting classic cars, contract bridge, etc: you would be amazed at the variety of gay interest groups these days, in which you might find someone whom you enjoy being with when you are not having sex. Although there may not be a gay church or bowling team in your locale, the Internet means you no longer have to confine yourself to only what is available in your neighborhood. Common interests are always the best foundation for establishing a relationship.

 

And now my standard warning: our consumer culture has led us to believe that if we want something, whether a dildo, a massage, or a lover, we just have to find the right shop and offer the right price. It ain't that easy. Even the careful shopper isn't guaranteed to find the right person--it's often more a matter of the right person falling into one's lap. Put yourself in the best position, leave yourself open to the unexpected, and go on with your life--if it is meant to happen, it will, and if not, not. Meanwhile, unless you have strong religious convictions against it, don't discount the satisfactions of friendly, non-committed sex, whether free or commercial, while you wait for Mr. Right.

[+ Lucky]

Que Sera Sera

When I was just a little boy

I asked my Charlie, what will I be

Will I be pretty, will I be rich

Here's what he said to me.

 

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours, to see

Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.

 

When I was young, I fell in love

I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead

Will we have rainbows, day after day

Here's what my sweetheart said.

 

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours, to see

Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.

 

Now I have children of my own

They ask their father, what will I be

Will I be handsome, will I be rich

I tell them tenderly.

 

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours, to see

Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.

 

Will I be a homo

out of the closet

The future's not mine to see

Will I fuck George Clooney

Or just go quite looney

Que Sera, Sera

[Louis]

I think its almost impossible to have a relationship and still stay in the closet, unless you found someone with a like mind. I could have had relationships, but unfortunately I am still in the closet, and have no plans on going out.

While escorts may help you with your sexual desires, basically an escort only offers his time if you have money. While that may not be true all the time, it is what I have experienced, with maybe one or two exceptions.

Personal adds seem ok, but I have met people who have lied about their ages, and other details, or they expect someone who looks like Scott Adler, while they themselves are not well kept.

So some how you have to go out to places where you can meet people. I think someone local is the best, because long distance relationships are difficult, and complex.

There may be some gay organization, or gay church etc. where you can start networking, if you are willing to go that route. I have also heard of rowers, where the whole crew is gay or a program is gay, bowlers, baseball teams, and so on, so check take those into consideration too. You may find the person you are looking for in a sports venue.