AVOIDING FLAKES/FAKES/CANCELLATIONS

[marylander1940]

I was a day from leaving for a planned trip to Philly and Alain DeBerry cancelled on me. I had taken time off work. Rented a car. Hotel reservations. We had talked on the phone several times. Emailed.

 

So if an escort ever asked me for a deposit, that would be a big, fat no.

 

First of all, I'm sorry to hear that. Did he give you any reason for cancelling?

[marylander1940]

I was a day from leaving for a planned trip to Philly and Alain DeBerry cancelled on me. I had taken time off work. Rented a car. Hotel reservations. We had talked on the phone several times. Emailed.

 

So if an escort ever asked me for a deposit, that would be a big, fat no.

 

First of all, I'm sorry to hear that. Did he give you any reason for cancelling?

[+ DALE CRUZE]

Sorry that’s happened to you! Following this because I’d love to know, too. I’ve never asked for a deposit but I wonder if that might be a good idea. Every time a client cancels, I lose. I haven’t found any way to get around that yet.

there is no way. i doubt the deposit will win you any points with clients. probably create more time consuming problems than it's worth...sadly we just have to suck it up when it comes to cancellations... but what you can do ( what i try to do) is to text all your appts for the day to confirm starting at 9am in the morning. i start with a simple "hey, just confirming our appt for today @ 1pm...are we still on for today at 1pm ?" that's the first text...if no response within 15 mins i send a second exact same text...IF U STILL have no reply then send a 3rd but remind them that you work by appt and if they dont confirm , then they will lose the spot to another. also tell them when they SET the appt that you WILL confirm on the same day. I try not to set appts over 3-4 days in advance. hmu if u wanna compare notes...and btw , ALWAYS keep track of the flakes in your phone and make notes when the cancel or don't show. after someone stands you up twice , i think its fair to say they are full of CACA !!

[+ DALE CRUZE]

Sorry that’s happened to you! Following this because I’d love to know, too. I’ve never asked for a deposit but I wonder if that might be a good idea. Every time a client cancels, I lose. I haven’t found any way to get around that yet.

there is no way. i doubt the deposit will win you any points with clients. probably create more time consuming problems than it's worth...sadly we just have to suck it up when it comes to cancellations... but what you can do ( what i try to do) is to text all your appts for the day to confirm starting at 9am in the morning. i start with a simple "hey, just confirming our appt for today @ 1pm...are we still on for today at 1pm ?" that's the first text...if no response within 15 mins i send a second exact same text...IF U STILL have no reply then send a 3rd but remind them that you work by appt and if they dont confirm , then they will lose the spot to another. also tell them when they SET the appt that you WILL confirm on the same day. I try not to set appts over 3-4 days in advance. hmu if u wanna compare notes...and btw , ALWAYS keep track of the flakes in your phone and make notes when the cancel or don't show. after someone stands you up twice , i think its fair to say they are full of CACA !!

[+ DALE CRUZE]

Damn to flake in a hottie like you!

 

Maybe you're in the wrong place. You could do well in a wealthy city like NYC, SF, LA, Chicago, DC, Miami, etc.

 

Btw, St. Louis and medium/small size Midwestern cities are a hit or miss markets. I know folks who only go there if they have regulars committed to hiring them.

i think you have a point marylander1940...many of the smaller cities have a limited understanding about the value of our time and the expenses of our travels. It feels like the clients in bigger cities have a clear understanding about how NOT to waste other peoples time... BUT the worst city i have found for time wasters is ATLANTA georgia. but with people moving about from state to state in todays economy, things do change quickly and so there are no rules set in stone. i would love to give atlanta a big "enema" tho.

[+ DALE CRUZE]

Damn to flake in a hottie like you!

 

Maybe you're in the wrong place. You could do well in a wealthy city like NYC, SF, LA, Chicago, DC, Miami, etc.

 

Btw, St. Louis and medium/small size Midwestern cities are a hit or miss markets. I know folks who only go there if they have regulars committed to hiring them.

i think you have a point marylander1940...many of the smaller cities have a limited understanding about the value of our time and the expenses of our travels. It feels like the clients in bigger cities have a clear understanding about how NOT to waste other peoples time... BUT the worst city i have found for time wasters is ATLANTA georgia. but with people moving about from state to state in todays economy, things do change quickly and so there are no rules set in stone. i would love to give atlanta a big "enema" tho.

[+ DALE CRUZE]

I was a day from leaving for a planned trip to Philly and Alain DeBerry cancelled on me. I had taken time off work. Rented a car. Hotel reservations. We had talked on the phone several times. Emailed.

 

So if an escort ever asked me for a deposit, that would be a big, fat no.

yeah i dont see the deposit thing working out very well... this is a very fluid gig...things happen and of course dixietony not to dismiss the unsavory situation u experienced but people can backpeddle in almost any situation and so that is why we are lucky to have THIS forum to compare notes. I have paid for airline tickets for other masseurs in the past that they never show. and almost without fail, the twinkier the masseur is the more unpredictable they can be. But also sadly, i think other "recreational activities" can be a factor in all that as well ...ie drugs , alchohol, partying...etc etc.

[+ DALE CRUZE]

I was a day from leaving for a planned trip to Philly and Alain DeBerry cancelled on me. I had taken time off work. Rented a car. Hotel reservations. We had talked on the phone several times. Emailed.

 

So if an escort ever asked me for a deposit, that would be a big, fat no.

yeah i dont see the deposit thing working out very well... this is a very fluid gig...things happen and of course dixietony not to dismiss the unsavory situation u experienced but people can backpeddle in almost any situation and so that is why we are lucky to have THIS forum to compare notes. I have paid for airline tickets for other masseurs in the past that they never show. and almost without fail, the twinkier the masseur is the more unpredictable they can be. But also sadly, i think other "recreational activities" can be a factor in all that as well ...ie drugs , alchohol, partying...etc etc.

[Skip]

I don't mind paying a deposit. It's only fair. If the tables were turned.....and someone wouldn't pay a deposit, I would worry until they showed up. A scam deposit, no, but an I'm serious deposit....10%, sure.

[Skip]

I don't mind paying a deposit. It's only fair. If the tables were turned.....and someone wouldn't pay a deposit, I would worry until they showed up. A scam deposit, no, but an I'm serious deposit....10%, sure.

[GTMike]

As a client, I'm uncomfortable with sending in a deposit. I always have cash. I don't like the idea of a traceable transaction. I'm single, so no husband (or wife) to question a charge.

 

I've also never cancelled an appointment. Postponed some with my regular guy, but never cancelled. I do understand how someone I've never visited wouldn't know I won't cancel, so I get you.

 

Clients cancelling are a bane to this business. I know we get nervous and flake out, but three in one day is horrible for you.

 

I think confirming helps, but unless there is a untraceable way to send a booking fee, I think the clients most likely to cancel an appointment won't pay. Which is another way of saying if the client is willing to post some money up front, he wouldn't cancel anyway.

 

If there is a deposit and the escort cancels, yes, that should be refunded, IMO. I'm always, er, motivated, to meet an escort, so if they have to cancel, I don't want to be out more than my unfulfilled desires.

 

Yeah it's too bad the situation is as it is for a first time meeting with all the unknown factors on both sides. Totally understanable. I've only been hiring for about two years and although i've never been asked to give a deposit i wouldn't for many of the reasons you've mentioned.

 

I think I've been lucky as every 1st time meeting I've ever had was scheduled somewhere between 2 weeks to 2 months in advance and I've only had one cancellation the day of ( even after a few confirmations just hours before). Obviuosly frustrating because i know that i would never cancel or flake but the first time escort can't soley rely on some new potential client telling him that. But i also always host wherever i already am, so avoid putting myself in a situation to also lose out monetarily.

[MidwestMarc]

Just leaving Cleveland and Pittsburgh. Cleveland had 4 fakes/cancellations and Pittsburgh had a grand total 8 (EIGHT) lol. It's always a bs excuse. No your grandmother didn't die (you used that one last time). Why make the effort to call and talk to someone on the phone when you have ZERO intention of showing up. I'm open to suggestions on how other escorts handle their screening and appointments.

 

As soon as I get home, I will get a RM email messaging, hey man would you consider coming to Pittsburgh? LMAO.

 

THANK YOU, NEXT.

[weldon79]

Just leaving Cleveland and Pittsburgh. Cleveland had 4 fakes/cancellations and Pittsburgh had a grand total 8 (EIGHT) lol. It's always a bs excuse. No your grandmother didn't die (you used that one last time). Why make the effort to call and talk to someone on the phone when you have ZERO intention of showing up. I'm open to suggestions on how other escorts handle their screening and appointments.

 

As soon as I get home, I will get a RM email messaging, hey man would you consider coming to Pittsburgh? LMAO.

 

THANK YOU, NEXT.

 

UGH. THAT SUCKS Marc! Yeah seems to be a lot of clients using texting apps and just play games and ruining it for the rest of us serious clients.

[Golem]

That does suck. Sorry Marc!

 

On a happier note, I now see a new reason to visit Indiana...

[+ keroscenefire]

I'm dealing with it a little bit from the client side. I have a semi-regular that likes to chat me up on occasion but when I finally try to set something up to meet he gets sick or has a family obligation or today didn't want to drive because it's snowing. He's a bit of a younger guy (mid to late 20s) and I think lives with his family still so I guess it's understandable. I do hope to meet with him again, but not sure how I can set something up when he is actually available.

[Gadfly22]

No your grandmother didn't die (you used that one last time).

Hey don't be so harsh! Everyone has 2 grandmothers after all!

[Guest gapguy]

One of my new policies is new clients requesting a session from a virtual number ( Google Voice, etc ) will be required

 

@Kurtis Wolfe - How can you detect a virtual number? I know apps like Uber can but curious how.

[AndreFuture]

Yeah, flakes are the bane of escorting, especially those that ghost with no explanation. I had a client not show up to our meeting place just yesterday afternoon. Guess he got cold feet, or his wife found out what he was doing

 

I'm still learning how to detect the cold-feet types, but the few I've had the (mis)fortune of encountering usually are new to hiring, are very nervous-sounding in the phone, rather hurried to meet you ASAP (like "can I see you RIGHT NOW?"), and didn't really do their research about you, your rates, your specialities, etc. Of course, this doesn't get to the guys who pre-book a month in advance, only to flake 20 minutes before the appointment time.

[sexymonk]

The simple rule is treat every first timer as flake. Ask new or second timer to confirm an hour before. Also, ask client to text 10-15 minutes before to get exact apartment number. Even in life every business has flakiness to an extent. I would say guys should aim to create regular clientele pool. Ask the veteran famous Peterhung about suggestions on this. He will have better things to say and advise. Many boys have came and vanished in months or a year but Peter has weathered and had been here for so many years. I am sure he may have experienced flake clients, stalkers and dealt with them tactfully and his decade long presence speaks his success story. Newcomers get some tips and lessons from him.

[adventurous old guy]

Alex, I too am sorry this happened to you. It kind of makes all clients who have had to cancel for one reason or another look bad. If you do go this route, I hope you'll develop a cancellation policy. I travel a lot and have had to cancel a couple times on the same day because of delayed or missed flights. Once I cancelled an hour before because I was with a client of my own who was very upset over his divorce and I just couldn't leave him alone. I paid in all those same day cancellation instances because I didn't want to screw the service provider. Consultant here so I empathize -- time is money for me too. I've also had to cancel a day a day or two in advance because of changes in my work schedule. I don't feel obligated to pay in those situations because it feels like "fair" notice, but that's fuzzy. In all but one of those situations, there was understanding, a rebooking and a larger than usual tip from me. But one guy got pissed because he said he'd lost business. I paid then too, but didn't rebook because it didn't really seem quite fair. Also, I didn't quite believe him.

 

Anyway, I guess my bottom line request to you and others is for more clarity about acceptable notice timeframes.

 

One last word about the two way street -- no shows are the worst, the ultimate "fuck you." I don't care if your mother died that morning, there's no excuse for just blowing someone off. I've never done it, but have been on the receiving end twice, once very recently. It was this guy: https://rentmen.eu/dcstud. Buyer beware.

[+ oldNbusted]

The simple rule is treat every first timer as flake. Ask new or second timer to confirm an hour before.

 

Good stuff but still be ready if they do show up. I remember meeting one guy at his place and his fun room was a total shambles. The second time we met, it was all organized and I kinda chuckled to myself, realizing he must have assumed I was never going to show up for our first meeting.

[tenderloin]

As a client, I was just treated to it last night in Chicago. This is the guy: https://friendboy.pro/boys/Chicagobottom

 

We had a normal email exchange, worked out the details - I agreed to his price without negotiating -- set the time and the place (my hotel room), and the last note said that he would be there within 30 minutes. Then silence. No explanation. And of course I can't review him because no meeting took place. Grrrrrr

[JayCeeKy]

the last note said that he would be there within 30 minutes

Not trying to top your story, but... I had scheduled a guy (also from Friendboy.pro) a few months ago in Indy. He sent text messages that he was on his way... "I'm about 10 minutes away"..... "I'm turning off Interstate"...... "I'm almost there." I went to the hotel lobby to meet him. Then...... the dreaded silence.

 

He sent me a text a couple of days later and said he had to drop off a friend and then had car trouble. No apology. He wanted to reschedule.

Nope.

[adventurous old guy]

As a client, I was just treated to it last night in Chicago. This is the guy: https://friendboy.pro/boys/Chicagobottom

 

And of course I can't review him because no meeting took place. Grrrrrr

Right, you can't review no shows. One more value of this site is that we can share the stories and names here. Did I mention that this was my no show: https://rentmen.eu/dcstud And it was the same story. Texting exchange up to 30 min before date time, then...nothing. Drugs or ADD?

[tenderloin]

Right, you can't review no shows. One more value of this site is that we can share the stories and names here. Did I mention that this was my no show: https://rentmen.eu/dcstud And it was the same story. Texting exchange up to 30 min before date time, then...nothing. Drugs or ADD?

 

I often wonder if I have somehow unwittingly offended. It has happened three times in the last ten years. I did a self-review after each incident, and really couldn't find any way that caused offense or transgressed. Ultimately, I think it is some combination of emotional immaturity/instability and/or drugs.