More frequently being asked for my picture and tiered pricing for VGL

[+ quoththeraven]

and everyone acts on them...thats a fact. blacks act on them, asians act on them and so forth. i have a good friend half black and half russian. he told me the story that his grandmother on his fathers black side of the family when he announced he was dating a white woman, would not allow her into the house. when she became pregnant with my friend the grandmother would not allow her black son into the house. he had to stay at the screen door to visit his father. no racism? oh...its totally ok when its against white people. get over your bigoted attitude.

 

you mentioned the guys in the steam room getting up to leave. they have every right to leave if they want to. you dont know why they left. now... to bar someone from going into the steam room...thats another story and thats why there are laws to protect people. there are no laws that anyone has to participate with anyone they do not want to participate with. when segregation hit the books that was a good thing. but it didnt mean that anyone had to become friends with anyone they didnt want to be friends with. my best friend growing up was black. he and his sister were the only two blacks in my middle school. she was valedictorian and he was the most popular person in school. guess when he had problems? when we went to high school and there were many blacks in the school. THEY had a problem with him being as the said "so white acting". hmmmmm mother was a school superintendent and father a businessman. maybe they should have renounced their educations and status in society? they were being racist to those in their own race according to the high school blacks. so should the other blacks have felt bad about their positions in society due to my friends parents success? it made them feel a certain way according to your philosophy.

 

my point is their is prejudice in every walk of life. big deal. grow up and get a little thick skin.

Yikes. Thanks for letting me know who to avoid.

[+ quoththeraven]

A K spa should be an awesome, relaxing, cultural experience: Your experience makes me angry and sad.

 

I'm sorry that gay LA is proving itself to be gay LA, yet again. The two K spas we have in Dallas have had issues with cruising in the past, but they took a hard line on stopping it (and calling the PD on those who were caught). Public embarrassment and a police record tend to keep that kind of behavior better left at Club Dallas.

 

It doesn't take many complaints to a city about a legit spa turning into a gay bathhouse for them to start sniffing around.

I am a little more agnostic than you on the crusiness, but the cultural insensitivity and ingratitude is a big no no for me. You don't go to a Korean spa and insult the Korean customers. You just don't.

[+ quoththeraven]

Drained empty, I understand where you are coming from and have read some of your previous posts from other threads. I think Asian women have it easier then Asian men in terms of being more sexually desirable. I don’t think any straight man regardless of race would turn down being with an Asian woman. But somehow Asian men aren’t seen as sex objects as compared to Asian women. Look at Hollywood or in adult films. Not many Asian male heartthrobs. Though I think Southeast Asians and Indians have it easier, because they are more racially ambiguous.

Umm, we have our own problems. While it hasn't been a problem for me personally, men assume Asian women are hypersexual, demure and submissive. That can lead to harassment and just an all around bad time.

[+ goosh69]

THE reason that anyone has blanket preferences based on race is that they have internalized society’s racist beauty standards. PERIOD. No other explanation. You might not be racist in OTHER ways. But in this aspect, it’s become ingrained. Regardless of your own race or ethnicity.

 

And black men and darker Latino men definitely experience similar to Asian men. I’ve literally compared notes on the topic with an Asian guy I once dated and with his friends.

[mike carey]

I am just the opposite. It may close the conversation but that's on them, not me.

I think it's useful not to tell someone that they are a racist because something that they did is racist, or based on racialised norms. Racism is a continuum, not a binary. Sometimes shaming is necessary, often education and creating awareness is what is most appropriate.

[+ quoththeraven]

I think it's useful not to tell someone that they are a racist because something that they did is racist, or based on racialised norms. Racism is a continuum, not a binary. Sometimes shaming is necessary, often education and creating awareness is what is most appropriate.

Like I said, I want to normalize the idea that society is racist and so are we. I don't expect everyone to take that approach.

[+ goosh69]

Right. Doing one racist thing still makes that thing racist. It does not make you Hitler or David Duke. But that one thing is still wrong.

 

And like Avenue Q says, everyone is a lt least a little racist about something. It just happens to be “preference” for a lot of gay men.

 

OK Cupid has put out all kinds of studies on this for straight and found that amongst ONLY people who say “no preference “ when it comes to race, that black women and Asian men are FAR FAR less likely to be picked all else equal. As in a white guy with HS degree and low income gets responded to as much as a high income and better educated Asian Male. Etc.

 

Asian women get picked far more by men of all races versus Asian men, all else equal. Black men more than black women. And white men get picked the most by women of all races across the board. Again, all else equal.

 

This is not some coincidence. It’s deeply ingrained societal racism intersecting with sexual attraction.

[+ quoththeraven]

Right. Doing one racist thing still makes that thing racist. It does not make you Hitler or David Duke. But that one thing is still wrong.

 

And like Avenue Q says, everyone is a lt least a little racist about something. It just happens to be “preference” for a lot of gay men.

 

This is not some coincidence. It’s deeply ingrained societal racism intersecting with sexual attraction.

Preach!

[+ quoththeraven]

Umm, we have our own problems. While it hasn't been a problem for me personally, men assume Asian women are hypersexual, demure and submissive. That can lead to harassment and just an all around bad time.

More on dating problems for Asian women: some Asian men feel Asian women are their personal property and that Asian women who date non-Asians are race traitors.

 

https://www.thecut.com/2018/10/when-asian-women-are-harassed-for-marrying-non-asian-men.html

[SteelFan]

Sexual/Physical Attraction is not racist. If you are denying your sexual attraction towards a black guy (who in reality you really want to fuck) because you are racist, then that's different. But calling people racist because for the most part they truly don't find most asian/black/white/latin men physically attractive is like calling a gay man sexist because they aren't attracted to women.

Edited October 12, 2018 by SteelFan

[+ José Soplanucas]

More on dating problems for Asian women: some Asian men feel Asian women are their personal property and that Asian women who date non-Asians are race traitors.

 

https://www.thecut.com/2018/10/when-asian-women-are-harassed-for-marrying-non-asian-men.html

That happens in all the minority's ethnicities, I think. Defensive ethnocentrism.

[bloop]

Sexual/Physical Attraction is not racist. If you are denying your sexual attraction towards a black guy (who in reality you really want to fuck) because you are racist, then that's different. But calling people racist because for the most part they truly don't find most asian/black/white/latin men physically attractive is like calling a gay man sexist because they aren't attracted to women.

 

But don't you have to believe that all people of a certain race/ethnicity share some trait(s) in order to find them all unattractive? That's the part that confuses me because not all black/asian/white/latino people look the same or have the same features...

[+ quoththeraven]

That happens in all the minority's ethnicities, I think. Defensive ethnocentrism.

Nevertheless, women still aren't property, which is what these folks think.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Nevertheless, women still aren't property, which is what these folks think.

 

I agree with that, but this defensive ethnocentrism works for both genders. I have met plenty of Black women who think Black men into White women are traitors, specially if they are successful Black men.

[+ goosh69]

Considering the fact that OK Cupid quantified the fact that Asian men and Black women get far and away the fewest responses, do you think THAT might have more to do with their stances ? It’s a rhetorical question because the answer is “yes.”

[+ José Soplanucas]

Considering the fact that OK Cupid quantified the fact that Asian men and Black women get far and away the fewest responses, do you think THAT might have more to do with their stances ? It’s a rhetorical question because the answer is “yes.”

 

I dare to say you do not know many Black women, besides Cupido stats.

[+ goosh69]

I dare to say you do not know many Black women, besides Cupido stats.

Well, since I’m black myself I’m pretty sure I know quite a few.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Well, since I’m black myself I’m pretty sure I know quite a few.

 

Touché.

[SteelFan]

But don't you have to believe that all people of a certain race/ethnicity share some trait(s) in order to find them all unattractive? That's the part that confuses me because not all black/asian/white/latino people look the same or have the same features...

No. People make generalizing statements, "I don't find asian men attractive" but I highly doubt they mean every single asian man on the planet. There may come a day they come across an asian guy they find hot, but if they deny that attraction due to the man's race then yes, they're racist. But if they're like "Oh, thats the first asian guy Ive ever been attracted to" then what they claim is their sexual/physical preferences is not something they just made up based on racist social norms.

[bloop]

No. People make generalizing statements, "I don't find asian men attractive" but I highly doubt they mean every single asian man on the planet. There may come a day they come across an asian guy they find hot, but if they deny that attraction due to the man's race then yes, they're racist. But if they're like "Oh, thats the first asian guy Ive ever been attracted to" then what they claim is their sexual/physical preferences is not something they just made up based on racist social norms.

 

But racism has always sustained a belief in the singular exception, so that still doesn’t quite line up for me. The question is about the content of those preferences, not whether or not they exist.