How the app mentality makes one lose your regard for others

[Mocha]

I'm sure it's no surprise to some. How many times have you gone over to meet a fling late at night expecting a hookup, only to arrive to a tweak Fest? how many times have we as escorts either had clients discuss their meetings on Grindr, or hear the dreaded app sound go off in the middle or end of session? Well clearly, "some" of our clients are using these apps...and I believe, sometimes can make these guy possess a Grindr mentality.

 

My definition of Grindr mentality is: FLAKY

 

Fast

Lust

Always

Keeps

Yearning

 

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/4/4/17177058/grindr-gay-men-mental-health-psychiatrist

Edited July 23, 2018 by Mocha

[+ OliverSaks]

*group sex at 4:30/5 a.m. probably almost never involves sober sex

[nycbystander]

The more things change the more they stay the same. Sounds just like the old days with the AOL hook up/chat rooms and Manhunt.

[tenderloin]

It's the same all over, including A4A. Part of the attraction for hiring is that it reduces (but does not eliminate) the bullshit factor.

 

I have been contacted many times on A4A and then get strung out with ridiculous multi-week exchanges - some guys are just fucking around, some are too closeted, some are probably just sociopaths. I just blocked a guy with whom I had dozens of email exchanges where he described all sorts of intimate things he wanted to do, but wouldn't share his phone number because he wanted his privacy. It has certainly reduced my bullshit tolerance -- I am much more likely to block as soon as I think I smell it.

[+ Pensant]

I just stay away from those apps. Besides, now that it’s owned by a Chinese company, it’s probably accessed by Chinese secret police, although for what purposes I’m not sure.

[maninsoma]

The more things change the more they stay the same. Sounds just like the old days with the AOL hook up/chat rooms and Manhunt.

 

Exactly. This bullshit has been going on for decades -- even before people were using the internet for hookups. I had a friend about 30 years ago who got strung along by someone through the mail. (Remember the days of personal ads in newspapers where you would reply to a PO Box set up by the newspaper?) They corresponded, the guy wanted to share underwear and explicit photos through the mail, and so on. He sent to my friend a photo of an extremely hot looking man, claimed to live in the Castro district of San Francisco yet was not out to anyone and had never had sex with anyone yet, which was his alleged rationale for wanting to take things slowly before meeting. None of the rest of our circle of friends believed this guy's story since it just seemed so far fetched, but my friend went along with it for weeks. My friend finally learned that the guy was actually someone three decades older who wasn't particularly attractive who just liked playing games with people. That's probably the most extreme situation I recall hearing about, but I know that I had to learn early on to detect time wasters before I wasted too much time.

[Mocha]

I know I should not even take such things personally. At the same time, a lot of people brush it off without realizing, things can be better, if they do better.

 

I am happy to report that, despite the previous nights fuckery, the next morning I had completely made up for it. 30 minutes before checkout time. And it's mutual we will be trying to meet again.

 

*group sex at 4:30/5 a.m. probably almost never involves sober sex

 

I should have known. It's just they sounded so cordial and didn't pick up anything weird over the messages and leading up to meeting. I didn't pick up indication that they were doing that stuff. But then as soon as I got close up on them, I could hear the dreaded clinching of teeth.

 

But I should have known because there was no real direction. It was just, come over there's 3 of us wanting to do a group, but no mention of who's doing what. I walk in and there's porn on. I think, based on the fact that they weren't already doing anything when I walked in (or maybe they'd already done it 3 or 4 times beforehand, who knows)...idk if they even wanted to do anything sexual. Those kinda sessions usually involve a lot of laying around jerking spaghetti dicks, tweaking, watch more movies until they fall asleep at 8 in the morning.

 

It's the same all over, including A4A. Part of the attraction for hiring is that it reduces (but does not eliminate) the bullshit factor.

 

I have been contacted many times on A4A and then get strung out with ridiculous multi-week exchanges - some guys are just fucking around, some are too closeted, some are probably just sociopaths. I just blocked a guy with whom I had dozens of email exchanges where he described all sorts of intimate things he wanted to do, but wouldn't share his phone number because he wanted his privacy. It has certainly reduced my bullshit tolerance -- I am much more likely to block as soon as I think I smell it.

 

A4A is certainly a class of its own, however being it's not as easily accessible as Grindr is...I find it somewhat limits the level of F-ery going on. But a4ais known to me, for lots of talk but no walk. Think I met my first SERIOUS client on there last week since I got back to Florida the day after Father's Day.

 

At the same time, the results of a4a can vary significantly depending on location. I went to Indy last month and only stayed 1 night but managed to meet 2 clients up for a session. That's a place where I normally don't have luck in. But I think this removal of craigslist has helped steer people to better functioning sites. In Florida, you think someone is booking, then they don't come through. Unless it's someone who has a good rapport with.

 

It also looks that Grindr itself may be dealing with fighting for its app privileges:

https://money.cnn.com/2017/04/14/technology/grindr-lawsuit/index.html