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Do you have any limits?

marylander1940
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purplekow
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Rather than asking what the escort is willing to do, it seems more efficient is the client say something to the effect: I really love ass play, nip torture, cock and ball torture, restraints and foo

marylander1940 Grand Master

marylander1940

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It actually is a good thing. It's a form of communication.

 

My answer would be, "yes, I have limits...Blood and scat." If a client is looking for either of those, then I'm not interested.

 

I would rather just say what do you I get into: BFE, safe only, flipping, etc.

 

It sounds so sleazy asking such a general question.

 

What if @Kris Parkes he wants to film the scene, spank you, do pup play putting you on a kennel, etc. because you didn't tell him you DON'T do that?

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Kinky Boyfriend Contributor

Kinky Boyfriend

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Why do I get a feeling a would-be-client asking that is not a good thing?

 

How would you answer?

 

I find "Do you have any limits?" a bit of a red flag versus a much more appropriate "What are your limits?" --

 

Main issue is that safety doesn't appear to be a priority and harm would be likely to occur.

 

There's a bit of a dismissal of the provider as human - because I guarantee that just about every person has limits and theoretical client is just not recognizing that aspect of the provider's humanity.

 

(Not saying that *consensual* objectification/dehumanization can't be a fun avenue to explore... But only after a trust dynamic has been established)

 

 

For me personally, this would also indicate that the client hasn't read my site as I go into great detail about my interests/limits on there :)

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Cody Converse Enthusiast

Cody Converse

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I would answer "what specifically are you looking for?".

 

Kevin Slater

This! "What are your limits," etc. usually indicates that the client is looking for something more than vanilla, and more often than not means they have a specific interest that they want to explore. For a lot of clients, especially ones with niche interests, hiring is one of the only ways they can explore their kinks (whatever that may be) and they want to make sure they're going to actually be able to engage in the type of play they're looking for.

 

If anything, asking the question indicates more respect for the provider as a person, not less. Considering how obscure (or even risky) some fetishes can get, it's always best that everyone is on the same page.

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marylander1940 Grand Master

marylander1940

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"What are your limits?" is, to me, a significantly different question than "Do you have any limits?" This could be just a communication problem, but it would immediately put me on my guard.

 

Red flag!

 

This! "What are your limits," etc. usually indicates that the client is looking for something more than vanilla, and more often than not means they have a specific interest that they want to explore. For a lot of clients, especially ones with niche interests, hiring is one of the only ways they can explore their kinks (whatever that may be) and they want to make sure they're going to actually be able to engage in the type of play they're looking for.

 

You'd be amazed to know the kind of things folks think it's just normal.

 

I understand your point but I think clients want to do those fetishes without being judge and specially with someone hot they just can't get for free on Grindr.

 

If anything, asking the question indicates more respect for the provider as a person, not less. Considering how obscure (or even risky) some fetishes can get, it's always best that everyone is on the same page.

 

I think that kind of question sounds like someone at dinner saying: Tell me about yourself... is just waaay to open.

I get the feeling trying to find out by text what he wants would be like "pulling teeth",

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nycman Grand Master

+ nycman

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I think it just reflects poor word choice on the part of the client.

 

For Christ’s sake....we ALL have limits.

 

Some of us just like to taste more colors of the rainbow than others.

 

I agree...it’s better if you have a specific kink to ask about it specifically.

 

Just becuase my limits are “blood and scat”....doesn’t mean I’m into “nun play”.

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Cody Converse Enthusiast

Cody Converse

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I understand your point but I think clients want to do those fetishes without being judge and specially with someone hot they just can't get for free on Grindr.

Uh, I think we're saying the same thing. They're asking because they have a specific interest they can't otherwise satisfy, so they ask to make sure they'll be okay.

 

As someone who has a WIDE variety of sexual interests, it's best if everyone is on the same page. It's no fun to get your hopes up for a specific scene and find out your partner has no interest.

 

I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be.

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marylander1940 Grand Master

marylander1940

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Uh, I think we're saying the same thing. They're asking because they have a specific interest they can't otherwise satisfy, so they ask to make sure they'll be okay.

 

As someone who has a WIDE variety of sexual interests, it's best if everyone is on the same page. It's no fun to get your hopes up for a specific scene and find out your partner has no interest.

 

I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be.

 

and yet... Uh, I think we're saying the same thing

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Reisr30 Grand Master

+ Reisr30

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I hated limits when I was at University it was always difficult for me to visualize them. Wait that’s the nerd speaking since the word limits makes me think of math...

 

Back to the topic, I’m pretty vanilla so I guess I have a lot of limits so I really haven’t asked companions this question.

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honcho Grand Master

+ honcho

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I hated limits when I was at University it was always difficult for me to visualize them. Wait that’s the nerd speaking since the word limits makes me think of math...

 

Back to the topic, I’m pretty vanilla so I guess I have a lot of limits so I really haven’t asked companions this question.

 

Just think of it as being continuous at the point of infinity (or wherever the arrow was pointing underneath). :)

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Bearofdistinction Mentor

Bearofdistinction

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Red flag!

 

 

 

You'd be amazed to know the kind of things folks think it's just normal.

 

I understand your point but I think clients want to do those fetishes without being judge and specially with someone hot they just can't get for free on Grindr.

 

 

 

I think that kind of question sounds like someone at dinner saying: Tell me about yourself... is just waaay to open.

I get the feeling trying to find out by text what he wants would be like "pulling teeth",

 

 

EVERYBODY HAS LIMITS -- so when I get contacted about Kink scenes and the person says I have No Limits -- I respond Great I have Lots of Power Tools ---- That's when they go --- Wait Wait Wait --- Yes PooPoo Kitty of course you have limits --- BE SMART - PLAY SMART

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