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I've checked the Information tab and didn't find what I need there, so I'll ask here. First, how does one include a photo in one's post ? Second, if someone else's post contains more than one photo and you want to comment on only one of them, is it possible to have only that one photo appear in your reply, and -if yes- then how? Lastly, are instructions on how to do these things -tailored for the simple-minded- available somewhere on this site? Thanks given and forbearance begged for any assistance.

Melania bought her husband a parrot for his birthday. She told a friend, "The bird is so smart! Donald has already taught him to pronounce over 200 words!" "Wow, that's pretty impressive," said the friend, "but you realize that he just says the words. He doesn't really understand what they mean." "That's OK," Melania replied, "neither does the parrot."

Eggs Benedict, followed by two pieces of Boston Cream Pie. I know it's high calorie, high cholesterol, and high in every bad thing you can eat. But I think it's OK for me since it's only once every five or six years.

To repeat here my entry in the Imaginary Perfect Boyfriend thread: Doctor to a young male patient: "Do you smoke after sex?" Patient: "I don't know, I've never looked."

Doctor to a young male patient: "Do you smoke after sex?" Patient: "I don't know, I've never looked."

Sorry. Can't talk with my mouth full.

If he needs all he's holding to conceal his assets, I'm prepared to be impressed.

Bob told his work friend, Lee, that he was ready to to take his annual vacation, then added, "But this year I'm going to do something different." "Different how?" asked Lee. "Well, three years ago, you said to go to Hawaii. And I did. And my wife got pregnant." "Then, two years ago, you advised going to the Bahamas. So I did. And my wife got pregnant again." "Last year you said Tahiti was the in place for vacations, so Tahiti it was. And the wife got pregnant again." "So, what will do different this year" asked Lee. "This year," Bob said, "I'm taking the wife with me."

I think that long-term, a relationship with a football player would lead to disappointment. I've heard that most tight ends eventually become wide receivers.

A young man moved into a new apartment and went down to the lobby to put his name on the mailbox. While there, a beautiful young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes. She was wearing a somewhat revealing robe. The young man smiled at the woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain only eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming." He followed her into her apartment. She closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears." Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Are you kidding? Look at these breasts; they are full and bouncy and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?" Clearing his throat, he stammered , "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming.... that was me."

I'd rather ingest male enhancement products, wait for their full effect, then fuck myself.

Don't eat an undercooked bat?

Handsome as he is, I suspect a relationship with him could be somewhat thorny.

I do not like the word verbose. It brings back memories. Years ago, when working for a large company, a paper I'd written was circulated to managers for comment. One of them opined that my paper was -and to quote- "far too wordy and verbose." He also stated that "a paragraph-long sentence sort of takes your breath away." I responded, "They mean the same thing, but I repeat yourself. And next time, try reading without moving your lips." The next day, my boss spoke with me. He was more succinct.

When you're at the bar, you're American. But what are you in the Men's Room? Well, probably - European.

Is this young man an actual person? Are we sure he's not a CGI? With a waist and abdomen like that, where in the world does he keep his vital organs? No, not those organs, vital though they be. I mean the heart and lungs, and so forth. There just no room for them in so small a space. Very impressive physique!

I get their point. (Or I'd like to.)

I'm sure Upper Iowa is nice, but it's the lower parts that seem to stand out.

I was always taught there are only three kinds of people in the world, those who count and those who don't.

Sorry, can't talk now. My tongue's busy.

Weren't these photos used earlier in ads for someone with "Kentucky" in their name or profile? Earlier ads memorable because this handsome, muscular, "gifted" young man is himself quite memorable. Hope he's for real.

I would love a drink from his hose!

Instead of Barbra, why don't we talk about something seemingly less volatile and controversial? Like Trump or abortion, maybe? Sheesh!

I know I'm Gay because sometimes -just sometimes- when I'm looking at a photo of hot, handsome, hung provider sprawled across a sofa, I'll think, "Wow! I wonder where he got those throw pillows." I just can't help myself.

It doesn't take that to get into the White House. Apparently.