TallMuscl37

I’m being judgmental in the least. I was referencing what another person had said, to another, about the level of risk faced when arranging a meet during this time. I’m using good judgement. If using good judgement means not meeting someone privately, 1 on 1 in the comforts of our own home, then I’m going to repeat what I’ve already said: 1 you can’t assume someone has or hasn’t already had it, and at the end of the day it’s still between 2 consenting adults. Period. Its not your call, or their call, or anybody else’s call. And regardless, there’s still a whole army of men out there who are looking and actively meeting other guys. Why? Because they want company or...perhaps other people are asking them to meet. So any qualms with me doing me, would be like trying to turn Lake Michigan into a desert, with a straw. Oh so now...you want me to look at the big picture of your example. And you’re using the forum to do so. Smart. Well in that case, you should be more open to differing opinions, considering each and every one of us are using our own what? Judgments. Sounds you’ve lost traction trying to make your point, and now you want to resort to calling my assertions something other than what it actually is? Well then you tell me, what is a not dumb assertion? Every example is not going to be tit for tat for what the issue is. Because obviously this is something novel. The point is all about the principle. Is driving safe? No. Is meeting up with a stranger in your home safe? No. But that’s why we make sensible decisions when doing so, to minimize the risk. There’s a difference between driving 100 mph, and driving the speed limit. There’s a difference between 2 healthy adults meeting in a private setting, versus being up close and personal with 10-20 people in a bar or bathhouse (not that I’ve ever caught anything from going to a bathhouse either...and I hope they can weather this because in some cities, they made for good late night crash out spots. Plus I’d always get my money’s worth because men are included, unlike with hotels...if you check in late, might waste money if nobody shows up). This thread asked 1 thing: is it safe to hire right now. With everything going on, it’s easy to give a 1 size fits all answer: no it’s not, UNTIL this is over. Well, that’s simply not true. You still have to maintain a level of safety regardless.

My condolences. But at the end of the day: YOU can do what you want to or not do. But what I’m saying: nobody should judge us, or our clients, for wanting to meet. Anything more is being judgmental. What do people want to hear, “don’t meet anyone. You’re gonna die. Or kill everyone around you.” Well then if that’s how you feel, so be it. I’m not telling anyone to do anything. Stay home, remain celibate if that’s what you want to do. I’m not judging you. I’m going to go out here and fuck, like I’ve been doing, and be okay.

You’re looking at statistics. I’m talking real life, day to day stuff. What nonsense am I spouting? The fact that people shouldn’t have false sense of hopes of safety after the pandemic, considering all the stuff that goes around regardless? And to not judge others for their consensual 1 on 1 meetings, something that’s being going on for long before COVID 19. Again, don’t take it personal. You’re absolutely right. Perhaps we all should stop driving as well, considering it’s contributing to global warming, and all the people who have died in car accidents. I don’t want to be responsible, for an accident: But wait: isn’t that why we practice safe driving, seatbelts, and education? Same as with sex work: I’m not negating the risks or toll the virus has caused...BUT, that doesn’t mean to stop “doing me”, that just means using caution in the process...but isn’t that what we’ve (hopefully) been doing all along?

One word: Hypothetically. That’s the examples you’re giving me. Yes, bodies are being stored in refrigerator trucks. But my question is, is it the first time? I think not. Remember this: Someone earlier said it’s not all about me. And I’m glad they said that. They are absolutely, 100% right it’s not all about me. Because if it was, clients wouldn’t be calling me asking if I’m available. Again, it goes back to those 2 valuable words: 2 consenting adults. All the riff raff and extra scenarios, are just unnecessary chatter. Nothing more to say to it. I’m done with this conversation. And yes, I will say it’s not less safe. Ever since this, all my clients have been wonderful, I’ve been dealing with less BS, and people have been a lot nicer overall. Clients have also been offering hand sanitizer, taking extra steps for hygiene, and being more understanding. So yeah, I’d say it’s definitely a safe time to hire and be hired right now. Are we not entitled to opinions, or does everyone want to hear the same ole, repetitive responses and not learn or be open to anything different? Defeats the purpose of a conversation if you ask me.

Good Lord. You sound worse than these guys: Just for the record: I’ve been taking visits all this time. I’m still alive. And been checking with all my clients, they too are still alive. And I keep seeing the same guys ad infinite online, and considering I’m sure they’re also hooking up...without my help, are still alive. Let’s all come back to earth. Please, and thankyou.

But how many people actually survive when confronted with a serial killer, versus COVID 19? Remember, most people are recovering. Bless their soul the ones who have died, but...so did the flu, asthma, hiv, diabetes, cancer, etc etc, etc. I’m not downplaying anything. But, what I’m not going to do, is paint the business as being unsafe now, and more safe last year.

It was never about ME. Period. And don’t go presumptively accusing me of being some type of serial killer. Because that is being a drama queen. Again too with you, your anger is misplaced. Example: last Easter I went to go visit a friend at his house. He was alone, and needed company. However, he also informed me he had watched his nephews the night before AND...had his frat brothers over prior to my arrival. So...should I have blamed him for hypothetically “exposing” me, because he had other people around him, before I came over? Absolutely not. So how in the ?, should I or any other sex worker (or gay man on Grindr, adam, Scruff, etc etc etc) working in a 1 on 1 capacity, be blamed for killing people...who I’ve not even met? I haven’t met my “aunts” in over 3-4 years lol. There’s hardly any aunts left to kill lol. 1 died when I was younger of asthma, one from a brain tumor, my grandma died of cancer, 3 grandfathers died of prostate cancer....long before COVID 19 was even a word. Have a seat. And a chill pill. Please. Thankyou.

What’s plain ignorant is giving people the false sense of belief that this period is any less safe than any other period, after that after this pandemic is “over”, it’ll be “safe” to hire again. The reason why I mentioned those things, is to make the point that even if and when this thing is long gone, it doesn’t make the biz (or any OTHER type of meeting with a stranger, for sex) any more or less safe than it was around this time last year. Think about the times of serial killers. Do you think people (specifically sex workers) didn’t have their fears and doubts during the time? Was it suddenly “safe” once the killer was caught? Or did people still need to practice common sense, screening, and health assessments? You can huff and puff and tell me it’s different all you want. Whether you wish to see me or not is your prerogative. But when push comes to shove, we’re talking about SAFTEY. And I’m not going to let someone who’s not a sex worker themselves, tell me how to handle my business. Your anger is misdirected. If you’re going to be upset at me, also be upset at the clients who are wanting to have a bit of relaxation for an hour or 2. And my last 2 clients were fit clients who were also business owners with big bank accounts. It’s not like I’m out here pulling senior citizens out of wheel chairs. Don’t be dramatic.

It did kinda happen in the 80s.... right? The H and the A word? But then again, there are different hair styles for different hair types. The ones I get generally involve an edge up, and that can sometimes cut into the skin if done too sharp. In my case, even though I'm not getting perfectly lined up edges and cuts, I've learned my hair pattern, and just been taking an all around with a guard, and learned how to do my front edges long time ago...sometimes when out of town for weeks, I may be in an unfamiliar area and don't want to look for or can’t find, barbers that specialize in ethnic hair.

My point exactly. But was it ever? Since when is it ever 100% SAFE to hire? There’s stings, STDs, catfishes, robbers, unauthorized drugs, paper trails, meddling neighbors, unexpected partners showing up...list goes on. WHY all of a sudden is it NOT safe to hire? That’s the whole point I’m making, as to why the fear and judging is absolutely unfounded. We’ve been taking risks all this time, and only now....NOW, it’s a big deal. Just to add...because it seems some people have been offended by my comment, which wasn’t mean to be insensitive. I found that meme to tweak curiosity and mirror what we’re dealing with (although I don’t promote the words “Americans for limited government”. Yes, the panic now is bigger than the virus. But the key is to minimize. Instead of asking if it’s safe: You don’t want to infect the escort, which is sensible...then you can get tested. Then make the right decision from there.

I haven’t put “available now” in my ads for a good little while. However, I do see plenty of other providers doing so. For me, it’s more of just I am rarely “available now”, so I’m not going to go out of my way to do so. I’m not going around passing out flyers and cold calling. I’m just sitting here having a glass of wine, alone, as I do everyday. I can’t control what other people want to do. If someone is going to judge, judge the others who are out having get togethers and private, with less than 10 people meetups. There’s no if ands or buts about it. People often want to say, “well that’s different”. But it’s not.

I seen this graph the other day, and thought it was helpful because it is arranged like planets in the solar system. COVID is like a full moon, HIV is like the size of Earth, whereas others in history have been like Jupiter, Saturn and Neptune. Talk about a pain in Uranus ? Of course just because a planet (or pandemic) is small in comparison, doesn’t make it small in size. That’s true. I mean already, I’ve been reading crazy news stories that you just don’t normally hear about. What needs attention just as much as coronavirus? Mental health. Crisis mitigation. And it’s being put on the back burner. And the looneys are out in FULL scale. Hikacking buses in Dallas, threatening to bomb hospitals, driving like bats ? out out of hell... Can’t just lose the nose to save face.

What a happy ending (no pun intended). It's always good to have a client who's willing to front us during the hard times. This is my personal opinion, and I know there's clients who never send deposits or cancel fees, but may tip double the price. So it doesn't mean they aren't generous. But at the same time, I think sometimes people see us tit for tat with other lines of work. Like aka, "i don't pay my dentist upfront". Well yeah but you're not fucking your dentist and seeing naked pictures of him though, are you? And that's the thing: escorts are working technically, even when we're not meeting in person. In some ways, an escort can be like a family or good friend you'd send money to if they needed it. Not just a "Business". Other day I had a client I've never met before drop $500 in my account. Far more than I expected. But, the drive was 3 hours and considering my other client before him royally stood me up, I wasn't complaining. I also have "sponsors" who are willing to front me for future sessions. I felt bad that one in particular was unable to meet me last month. But I was there in his state for nearly 2 months, and he just wasn't able to meet timing wise. Hopefully in the near future. At the same time, I don't want to be in a position where I'm accepting funds months and years in advance, because by then...too much time will have gone by and an escort may feel technically out of pocket.

Exactly. Hell I'm doing it now to get clients now. With less competition on the forefront, this could potentially be a buffet in the Serengeti. The drawback is there is still some folks out of work. Business owners are taking the time to renovate and remodel. However, my belief is, people like to use natural disasters and mass layoffs as a reason they can't afford something. But in reality, they would be giving the same ole tired excuse whether they were working or not. Like one guy said yesterday, "i wish i could afford you". Well my rates aren't even listed. How you just automatically assume anything? And that's what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to run off scared, and then come crawling back. I might as well stay immersed in the game, that way I won't be scared to come back.

Could be. Then again I checked the small markets. There still guys in bigger cities advertising available now.

As an aside: has anyone noticed? The amount of ads on both RentMen and RentMasseur has taken a steep dive. Many cities are seeing just 1 page of ads. What I’m seeing is on par with the amount of providers that were around back in 2008-2009, before it came the overly saturated that we once knew of pre-Corona. I just hope RentMen and company can keep things afloat. But I would hope they have a hefty reservoir at this point.

Please don't take this wrong (lest I might have taken you wrong), but don't feel "sorry" for anyone like us, in "times like this". I'm not understanding where some people think there's this surplus of funds to save up. I want to see how some of these people are living. If someone is fortunate enough to truly be able to go client-free during this period which could last til June, you have to either have been getting a good amount of clients, or like @marylander1940 said, very thrifty. In my case, just this week alone: I had to renew my car insurance, Rentmen ad, phone bill, and some other miscellaneous bills/essentials from Amazon. All to the tune of about $500. As for "savings", I had some left over from a tour two weeks ago, because at this point there's really nowhere to go to spend money on. I had 1 Local client last week (who I won't be seeing again due to his repeated psycho analyzation after every session we do). And then I had a client send me a nice deposit for a session later this week. So, that's just how it is. My only regrets is not asking a different client for a deposit. I met him previously, and he was fine. But he flaked back in December, and I gave him a 2nd chance. Only for him to do it AGAIN yesterday. We were supposed to be doing a 2 hour out of town session, with it potentially being an overnight. Did the same thing he did previously; comes across interested on the phone, but then day of comes and no response at all. And what made it so bad, he came around and contacted me last week, like his disappearing act in December never happened. I brought it up. I give him a chance, but then they take my kindness for weakness. And then other clients are shocked when we ask for deposits. Because some people mess it up for others. For a little while I thought I'd ease up on the deposits, but clearly I'm going to have to go right back to doing it again. People like that don't appreciate our craft. Then they can't understand why I cut their ties. And 10 times out of 10, they come back around. It’s almost like they can’t remember. But when they keep doing the same thing, they are no longer a customer, but a shoplifter. Shoplifting my valuable time. And the only way to stop it is with a deposit.

Tell me about it! What can you suggest to all the super sore, like your 1st time working out, when people finally do return to the gym? I know for me: calves and biceps tend to be the worse, and longest to heal soreness to recoup from. Once the gyms do open, I plan to go light for atleast a week or 2. I can’t wait to go back to the gym, but I can wait for the DOMS after the gym lol. So far, my only exercise has been pushups, track, and jumping jacks. The occasional ab workouts here and there. But its good though because it forces me to do more cardio. I’ve gotten lean AF.

I want to add one more perspective to this all. Escorting and dating is almost an oxymoron. I’m not speaking for anyone in particular, or undermining any good escort relationships out there. But most guys in the biz aren’t in it because they’re trying to “date” (unless one is referring to dating=hooking up), or they may have moved on from the dating “rat race”. In my case, I’m over the dating rat race. When I look back over the years, many of the “dates” I’ve had were a waste of time. With some of these guys, you just have to fuck em once or twice, and move on with your life. PERIOD. I be finding most of them only around for convenience, and what you can do for them. They don’t want to contribute, always want me to work around their schedule, etc. Then they criticize and put me down. Dating can be toxic, and I usually find afterwards that the ones I thought were a good catch, turn out to be assholes. My most recent quasi-dating situation: A guy I’ve fucked a couple times last year. Met him in his city the 1st time, St. Louis the 2nd time, Kansas City the 3rd time, and then Florida the 4th time. By the end of the 2nd time, he had already started referring us to just “friends”, no sex. Which is where I should have dropped it then. Because from there, the whole “friendship” became annoying and meaningless. Then I had to listen to him go on and on about some other guy he was trying to be in a relationship with. Goodbye, it was nice knowing you! I also met with a guy over Easter, who I’ve previously “hooked up” with last year. Waste of my time again. I go over to his house, I walk in and he’s playing x box. I haven’t seen him in months. I stay over for an hour, and he’s talking about he has a family video chat and has company coming over later. Prior to that he said he had frat brothers over. I’m thinking to myself, why did I even waste my time going over there? I don’t have time to be trying to “squeeze in” to spend time with someone, when they’re not trying to do the same. That’s equivalent to 250/hr down the drain. Just pointless. I will not be wasting my time with him again. That’s part of why I’ve been sticking with the hobby for as long as I have. Even though it’s not perfect, and can challenge your mental health...it’s not even CLOSE to the level that goes on in regular “dating” situations. Escorting allows all the physical aspects of dating, but without the baggage and drama of getting to “know someone”. And trust me, most of these guys aren’t worth getting to know, because they’re all about convenience and see other gay guys as accessories, not something to invest in. Escorting has taken me from LA to Key West, Provincetown to San Francisco. And everywhere in between. I have clients who I may see once every 1 or 2 years, and we still have like the best relationship when together. I also keep in touch in between. It works for me.

Good point here ?? And that’s what I’ve been coming to realize overtime just “dating” many people over the years, who happen to be outside of the biz. I’ve even come to the conclusion that “dating” is no longer going to be in my vocabulary. It’s not that it’s a bad thing or that I don’t believe in it, but it creates expectations and false sense of commitment far too soon. I dealt with that so much in my 20s, “talking to” guys, who were also “talking to” other guys. Or people who hook up a couple times and one claims they were “dating” and another wasn’t. Then someone gets hurt. So nowadays, if I meet someone, and we’re hooking up, we’re only going to be friends who fuck. FWF. If after some time we decide to be more, then it’ll progress to boyfriends. If it’s another escort, great, but I’m not necessarily looking for it to be. But in my experience, like you said, most escorts don’t come to the table with dating on the menu. I’ve had a few connects with other escorts, either thru client 3way (or even 4 way lol) sessions, or RentMen ads. But most seem to be in it for an agenda, not so much giving off a vibe of something date-wise.

Thankyou for understanding. But honestly whether people here approve or “try” to condemn me is of least concern. If so, the anger is misdirected, considering there’s a vast majority of people all over who are still making themselves available to hook up (I’m on prep has been replaced by, COVID-19 negative). And as I’ve said before, there’s still no law around saying 2 people can’t meet in the comfort of their own home. People are over-applying the orders, with no gavel or a heaven or hell to put me in lol. The orders are simply meant to keep down on large groups of public gatherings. In my case, I’m not necessarily taking clients out of desperation, but I’m doing so to prevent me from getting to that point. I don’t want to have to be desperate. I’ve been there, and don’t want to go back. Right now is an opportune time because I’ve noticed timewasters are down, and people are actually scheduling appointments like they’re supposed to. When they see we’re out here taking risks, it’s serious. It’s not a game. There’s no unemployment checks, there’s no business bailout loans. If and when that $1,200 stimulus check arrives, it’s going straight to the relocation expenses I’ve not been able to set aside this year. I definitely can’t “stay home” considering my “home” environment is far from ideal, and my current base town wasn’t great biz wise even before COVID-19. So I usually travel 1 to 2 times month, even if it’s just 3 hours away. To be frank, I consider myself quasi-homeless by design at the moment, because I really can’t tolerate being “home” for more than a week straight, before things start getting hostile. At this point, keeping my sanity is of greater concern, than the fear of a virus and it’s accompanying “what if’s”. I sat in a hospital room for 5 days straight last month, not attributed to COVID-19 (and I’m pretty sure the virus has come and gone thru my system by now, before social distancing orders were announced, considering the amount of crowds I’ve been exposed to, hotels I’ve stayed in, states I’ve traveled to since Super Bowl weekend), I’ll be damned to sit around confined, and be empty handed; week, after week, after week. I’d rather die, than to not be able to live my life. That’s like being in hostage or detained with no idea of when you’re getting out, aka prisoner in your own home. But again, that’s what the news isn’t going to tell people. I’ve already read somewhere domestic violence has gone up 40% since this. But the news not going to tell you the whole story behind why some home environments are toxic, and compound that with financial trouble. Last thing some people may want to do is stay inside...

Now don’t go putting words in my mouth. I said in response to a hypothetical scenario, that it would not be my fault...and it wouldn’t. In that scenario, did I knock on someones door and walk in uninvited, or did someone contact me and ask me to come over/or come over themselves? And that even assumes the escort tested positive for it, was contagious, and the client didn’t visit anyone else: friends/family coming over or grocery shopping themselves. So yeah, I still call BS on it...and I’m going to keep calling BS on it everytime it comes up. The scenario is 1 sided, because it assumes someone meeting is doing so: 1. With ill intent. 2. The escort is the one infected, but not the client. 3. That it’s a forced meeting 4. He is knowingly infected 5. The virus is actually existent (in either person) It’s about as ridiculous as the stigmatizing and blame that would exist towards a gay man who’s HIV positive (omg how dare he exchange numbers with me and not tell me he’s HIV positive!). Which I’m glad over the years, seems to be fading. But now we have something new to stigmatize people over ?

Not necessarily, because I’m not just talking about people. I’m talking specifically about gay men, and how it pertains to our daily lives. If I wanted to hear about people, I could sit and watch the news and hear about all the “people” who are affected. But fact of the matter is, single “non-married” people without families, which include most gay guys, don’t cook. There was even a post on Twitter by a guy who was saying Wendy’s turned him and another guy away, because their lobby was closed and it was drive in only. Compound that with the fact many gay guys in the certain cities may not drive... It wasn’t meant to be stereotypical or “gay-ist” in any way. I’m speaking based on the fact I’ve known many guys, who happen to be gay, who don’t cook. Their refrigerators are filled with microwavables and drinks. I’ve known guys who eat out 2-3 times a day. Whether they know how to cook, or do so for convenience is not necessarily relevant. I know for ME, when I travel I don’t cook at all, except once in a blue when there’s a hotel with a kitchenette. So when the restaurants started not allowing people to sit down, that was a big deal for me. I had to eat most of my meals in the car, and when traveling...inconvenient would be an understatement. If we’re going to talk about real issues, I’m going to say it specifically as it pertains to us. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, because the news is only going to tell you what you want to hear. I’m going to say it like it actually is. And gay guys who don’t know how to cook, and who hook up during a social distancing order, is how it actually is lol.