TallMuscl37

Excellent input! I always wondered how the late 90s escorting were. I mean, I echo everything you’re saying, and in fact how you did things is similar to how I operate. But I am not a big note taker (and out of discretion). However, I am like an elephant and remember just about every client and what they are into. You also had some good techniques I hadn’t thought of, and I could see how that could help win over more regulars. I wouldn’t feed too much into how I chat on here. People tend to be bitchy in ways that they wouldn’t normally do in a conversation. And on the forum, I play along with people’s bitchiness not because I am that way as a provider, but I’m not going to kiss ass endlessly to appease someone’s skewed impression of me. We can agree to disagree, but when someone makes baseless statements without much to back it up (e.g. I’m the problem, and everyone else is not), I’m going to address it. That’s totally understandable. And I’ve touched on this topic a couple of weeks ago. My thing is: I don’t have a problem receiving deposits from clients. I know there’s some who don’t wish to, but I have specific reasons why I ask for deposits...and it’s nothing to do with trust. I feel if Uber drivers, Pizza Hut, eBay packages, Amazon, etc etc can be paid for and paid for shipping in advance, I as a escort should be given something in advance as well. That’s just how I operate. In my case, I ask for deposits even if it’s an hour session, mainly when hosting...because I have many times over the years: paid for hotels or traveled to cities expecting clients to show up, and got burned. It’s a personal preference for me. If a client sees it as a threat to their integrity, I can’t be responsible for that. To me, a deposit is about how I want to operate and for my peace of mind as a sex worker. If someone isn’t okay with that, I’m okay with that. ?? It’s been too many times in my career that I’ve done stuff on edge, going by a client’s word...and most times it worked it, other times it didn’t. So when someone says they got burned, I say...yeah, I been burned 100 times more, so I understand. I hope you can understand too.

I was facetious at the end of that post you quoted, but It was in reference to the start of the thread. It seemed like there was some discrepancies in the pricing of the provider, and I simply meant that I found it to work better having more than just a base incall/outcall donation (which Rentmasseur limits providers to), for that reason.

In my personal experience: there’s often more than it seems. Despite people touting how discrete and nonymous they want to remain, there’s a select few clients out there who are totally fine with letting a provider live in and/or operate from their place.

Same difference though. If you’re okay with RM having a review section, you should be okay if escorts exchange phone numbers, or atleast in a (000) 000-00XX format. And yes, it is the norm in some areas. There’s a site that I browse regularly that’s run by women across seas, and there’s postings updated regularly to assist/warn other sex workers. Others may chime in and say, “oh yeah, he did the same thing to me also”. America is just behind, and the lack of decriminalization of it, Is what continues to leave things in a hypocritical state of being.

It depends how you define anonymous. Technically, regardless of whether one winds up on a blacklist site or not... there's no anonymity. I mean, we exchange number, hopefully a name, and location, which may be a client's home. It's not cruising a park or scouting truck stop bathrooms. That's true anonymous sex. Where you don't even know their name, age, or anything about them. I would say: most anonymity is earned by default. At the end of the day, we're just gay men trying to live our lives judgement free from the general public. But when those same people abuse the privilege, that's where it's compromised. And it's not like I'm tooting horns out to the general public (because let's face it, when homosexuality, prostitution or other sexual freedoms are criminalized, the laws and media have a knack for exposing it to the general public). I'm more just for having a site where escorts can privately review and exchange info with others. Outside of the public eye.

Those are all valid reasonings. I try to avoid all except #4, as I do tend to ask for deposits...but that's pretty similar to what my wedding ? friends do for their venues. However it may be different to the upfront payment you refer to. Mine is just a small portion, and simply covers my initial expenses to host or travel. Senór citizens in the game such as myself, tend to prefer having arrangements confirmed, which in turn also encourage us to stick with appointments also.

Fair enough, but I’ll tell you right now...you’re the source of my problem right now, just based on how you’re talking condescendingly towards me. Let’s be clear on that. When you start using words like complain, frustrate, and problems...words that I never personally used; that gets on my wrong side automatically. Because you’re essentially excusing the situations I mentioned without consideration, and going out of your way to put me as the adversary. (even though you just did admit, that the person I referred to sounded like a time waster. And that person, was a client I’ve met previously and had a good encounter with . So you just confirmed the same things I was describing). Yes, I did say certain things do irritate me. It does irritate me when someone seems intent on an appointment, but then tells me that they need to cancel because of something they knew damn well would prevent them from meeting. It does irritate me when a client contacts the day of, with no sort of “heads up” expecting me to be ready at the drop of a dime, but can’t be bothered to plan for a mutually convenient time in advance. Or even, “I can be there at 3”, and they say, “that’s too late for me”. Well...how is it too late when they didn’t bother to see me as a person who “MIGHT” have a normal life of responsibilities (just like them!) and not just doing nothing with it. How the F you figure, that’s something that I am the reason for? Sounds like you’re projecting. But don’t be so dismissive. Just because you don’t like me calling something out, doesn’t mean I’m somehow responsible. Now in your defense, there have been some times where I could have done things a bit better with a particular client, but it’s hardly a pattern. Besides, if regulars were as plentiful as we all wanted, most of us wouldn’t be paying for advertising every month. We’d just have our revolving door of clients coming and going, without ever having to advertise.

Thats all understandable. It only seems to reason that COVID stuff isn’t helping. I just don’t know to what extent, but having insiders info into what you have described, helps make sense that it really may be something outside of our control. I know the times leading up to COVID, I had a guy want to rebook me while he was visiting SW Florida, but he had to wrap it early as the shows were being cut. Please don’t use inaccurate clichés. I never said I don’t get good customers. I never said the customers are the problem. I’m just stating my experience, and what it leaves me wondering. Notice what I said in the initial thread: gain MORE regulars. Not gain good clients. Not gain regulars. But MORE regulars. As in, I have them, but it’s not the extent that I would imagine I should have, considering the level of service I give. Hell, I even had 1 give me 5 star review...but he hasn’t rebooked and flaked over Labor Day weekend. He even had another client ask him, about me. I’m not mad at him, but it’s just like... could the money/payment part really be a defining hurdle? Is it that perhaps people don’t mind paying for something the 1st time, but figure afterwards...a new quest abounds? I mean let’s just be 100% real: How well or bad could a buy 1, get one free next time, work in gaining more regulars? Anyone with real life experience on it?

Well now you see, I wasn’t just making shit up to seem like I’m doing something wrong. This is what they’re giving me. Now granted, I could just cut him off and go ghost at your suggestion, but I don’t always have that luxury when I... A) don’t have enough new inquires locally and B) not getting many regulars when I do. And that’s the point I was making. I had one regular guy book a session the day of or day before maybe, and then cancels just hours prior saying he doesn’t get paid until next week. At that point, I was done. And that wasn’t the 1st time he bullshitted me. Then there’s 2 others in the area I’ve reached out to reschedule, they seemed up for it...then don’t return messages or don’t follow up.

That’s true. And I get that it is a good gesture to do so. Sometimes I find myself forgetting to do that, but not in a forgetful way...But I tend to like to do that sincerely at the end, versus trying to get into more back and forth texting...which after a hot sex encounter, I just don’t have the brain cells left to do so lol. of course if they text me, I always make sure to thank or welcome That I know is the main factor. Some cities are just 1 time hire regions. There’s probably a reason why there’s no big name escorts who are coming to or from Kansas City. I mean, midwestern places like Chicago are heavily saturated and hard to break into also, but I think there’s either die hard regulars or ample newbies to choose from. But I’ve seen even escorts there, let their rentmen ads expire for weeks. I had already explained it, so to have someone like @Rudynate say something like I’m the problem, is highly inconsiderate. I’m not blaming the client for anything. I’m just saying, how can it be made into a more regular situation. And if not, what’s blocking some from doing so. No need to be combative. But like I said, it’s not that I don’t have ANY regulars. I have regulars in a few states. I’ve always had regulars. Lots of them. Sometimes, it would become TOO regular as if I were their 2nd male wife/hubby ? . However, those tend to be kept in communication with for a year or longer. I’m mainly talking about the overall majority of meets... Which many times don’t become regulars. I was also spending a lot of time in Saint Louis area, I had made 2 regular regulars...but many others who met me previously, didn’t end up booking me again once I moved there. So then, it had gotten slow again and I had to leave.

Well that’s easy to say when you don’t know me, nor have you worked side by side to see the things that I refer to. Don’t be so judgmental. If you don’t like what I have to say, that doesn’t equate to me being the reason for how someone treats their encounters. If so, what would this problem be? What and why am I the reason specifically, for this. You tell me. My guess is: you don’t know. You’re just talking out of your ass. So you can go have a seat on it ✋? BUT, since you know it all and have the answers to my “problems”...I just had an example today of exactly what I referred to. 1 client who’ve I met before, we were just chatting yesterday (Saturday) about arranging something. He says he will get back to me Monday. Today (surprise, surprise), he texts me; what’s going on. Then says he’s free for a couple hours, but that might not be enough time. And it wasn’t. I need time to get ready and get to him, there’s no way I could have made that happen. So, the meet didn’t happen, and he says he has to check back on what day he can due to; etc etc. Now, that’s not picking on him...but that’s the stuff I refer to that starts to set things on the wrong path. It was last minute, then he don’t know when/how etc. I told him, had I known yesterday you were going to be free for a couple hours this afternoon, I would have already been there. I’m not going to get mad at him right now, because I think we can sort it out...But if it becomes a pattern, it will create friction.

Are you implying that because Dallas is more affordable than Los Angeles, the prices should be less? Maybe in theory...But rent is rent whether it’s $900 or $1,900. Hotel is hotel whether it’s $90 or $190. Think of it as a bottle of cologne. A bottle of Dolce or Tom Ford costs the same in Wichita, Kansas, as it does in NewYork City. Only difference is the taxes. I know for me, I don’t do hardly any appointments for under $150 anymore, most of the times not even under $250. It’s not about greed or about what others are charging, it’s just my overheads and me being able to operate, won’t get handled if I charged, say $100. I’m not booking clients round the clock. My only appointment last week was 1 $400 client earlier in the week.

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Anonymity is fine...but as I posted in another thread: do you think something like this, deserves anonymity (if the incident was sex work related, which it does not suggest) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.fox2detroit.com/news/suspect-in-murder-cannibalism-of-michigan-man-he-met-on-grindr-ruled-competent-for-trial.amp Anonymity is earned, not given. It would be selfish to not warn others of potential danger. I mean, wasn’t there a big discussion about getting flu shots, and “protecting others?” Well...I went ahead and got my flu shot this year, to protect others. likewise, I will post a bad client’s information...publicly, to protect others as well. It’s recommended by the CDC ? However, I’ve been having to do less of that lately. I don’t make money posting warnings/reviews of clients. That’s not what I’m in business for. And the best way is to prevent it from happening in the first place. So, I really just try to stick with my rules (deposit, advanced notice, etc) and that tends to avoid a lot of the headaches to begin with. It’s when I let it slide, that I run into problems.

I’ve had horror stories, but I see them now as lessons and experience under my belt. I can look back and laugh now, knowing what happened then... I’d never in a million years let it happen now. And how I could have done things differently. And often times, those same situations present themselves again... and I know what to do because of what happened last time. That said, it’s not a safety net by any means... and there’s still some crazies out there. However, I statistically believe there’s more danger on Grindr and like hookup apps (there’s a story about a cannibal in Michigan) than there is using paid sites. It’s in fact a misconception that “advertised” sex workers (Not talking about the guys who are like, I need $20 for gas) are more likely to be put in dangerous situations. So, when I read about people turning their nose up about deposits, and booking in advance, or whatever protocol an escort may have: Understand where that may come from to begin with.

I can attest. In my ad I say 24 hours notice preferred (Mainly to host), but two hours notice minimum. I’ve had to put that because I don’t need 24 hours notice to go to someone’s hotel, but don’t text me at 2:45 asking to meet at 3:00 because you’ve got a meeting at 4:00. That’s just being disorganized and inconsiderate... and there needs to be more tact to it. I used to had to counsel clients about that all the time, nowadays I put it in writing before they even contact. The running around like a headless ? days are over for me.

Ask him: is there anything else you need to know from me? Or better yet, ask him to give you more details about himself. What is it more that you feel you need to know? I had a client who I’ve met before who did everything perfectly on our 1st meet (booked in advance, sent deposit, showed up, was a great fuck), but on a recent follow up to meet again, I was getting the 1 or 2 word quick replies. Nothing bad, and I can see how it can seem iffy, but it’s not anything to be uncomfortable about. Turns out he was just busy. Now... whether or not it turns into a next appointment, we have to see. But I’m hoping the short sentences weren’t just going along with it.

Exactly. But not just escort situations either. Even your day to day hookups can be that way. There’s a lot of people out there having sex just to get off...being “into” someone may only go as far as the moment in the bedroom. Maybe they were perfectly into the sex, but perhaps not the person themselves. That’s why I’ve stepped back from the hookup circuit a bit. You can ride the conveyor belt of hookups, without getting a 2nd or 3rd encounter out of it. Nothing bad or sad about it, but after awhile it starts feeling pointless, unless it’s someone you really into like that...but you have to then separate real from fantasy. . If I do that, I much rather do it with a client who’s atleast apparent in investing in my time. Unfortunately, I’ve also come to see many clients are either happily married...or chronically single, and for apparent reason. If anything “more” comes of it, has to be with considerate understanding.

You just answered the question. What works for one isn’t going to work for another. Matter of fact: what may work for the same guy 1 day, may not work for him the next day. Or even next part of day. example: if you contact me when I’m at work wanting to meet when you’re getting in the car, I’m going to tell you to get out the car, and go back inside. But if you contact say...it’s in the evening and my ad says “available now”, then I may take your request. AND, that assumes the escort can even host, which many clients seem to assume we are, which is not always the case. People expect us to be ready to host them with hardly no notice. But, those same people aren’t able to host us with such short notice, if ever at all. So I’ve had to drop most of the “can I come over right now” brigade.

You sound effing ridiculous right about now. Nothing in the previous person's quote alluded to a safety concern. All he said was it seemed too straightforward. He also added that English was maybe not his first language. Nothing about that seemed to imply imminent danger. Therefore your statement re: if you feel uncomfortable don't meet, is not applicable there. You're mistaking uncomfortable as judgmental, which you seem to be the poster child of. Now, had you said: if you are uncomfortable, say you need more information or talk over the phone to meet...then I woulda been like, sure. But to flat out dismiss by saying don't meet, just comes off like a dick. And I say that because dicks usually do shit like that: I've had guys claim to have arrived to my hotel, gotten my room number, and then say; "sorry I got spooked/uncomfortable". Then I'm like, what the hell???

It’s only messy if the situation isn’t handled properly. I used to be quite weirded out by making friends or becoming too close with clients. Lately, I’ll say I’m spending more time doing that, than trolling hookup apps or bars (and of course, the bar scene in many cities is dismal at the moment due to C19 restrictions). Most clients I find who are open to stuff beyond the clock, tend to be more respectful in situations than someone off the apps. Some clients may still be on the apps anyway, but I often find they wouldn’t be the ones I’d go for...however after meeting in real life, it’s different. I’m usually straight up, I’m not trying to jump into a partnered situation, be their regular fuck buddy, or be their 24/7 escort. I can temporarily be a mild combination of the 3, long as they keep it in perspective. But if they want company, or wish to help in whatever venture I may have going on at the time, I’m down. However I will say, my only reservations with keeping clients as “friends” off clock, some seem to view it as a convenient way to get on demand sex. Not necessarily for free, or a bad thing. But sometimes after so many hookups, the sex part can seem redundant. Which lately has had me wondering because I been seeing a guy (started as a client), and even though we have great bed chemistry, sometimes afterwards, I get those feelings of, “I don’t think we should have sex anymore”. Maybe its just conditioning from being a sex worker, but sometimes I like to feel there’s a purpose to having sex. Having sex just to have sex, or jacking off just to jack off, seems pointless to me. There either needs to be some long term attraction built up, making some videos, or services rendered.

That rule is more reserved for realistic safety situations. In the case of the quoted concern, it’s merely just a case of communication. If everyone didn’t meet because of a difference in writing styles, or planning styles, or having shy/uncomfortable moments...nobody would ever get laid.

Exactly. And so one can only imagine why it becomes distracting when someone...or a string of people, ditch out. I am appreciative that Rentmen has developed covid safe/freeze mode, and I'd guess many guys are using it wisely. I am using it right now for my Rentmen ad because, I had it up all holiday weekend and got nothing but a tentative booking in the next town over, who cancelled anyway. So I'm not fixing to be wasting billing hours, just letting an ad run, if there's nothing coming from it locally. I have been freezing my ad for like a week or 2 at a time, but not much longer. It's just enough time to de-advertise during days when I need to handle other real life stuff, and not in the position to host or travel across the city last minute. And with the exception of 1 client the other night, this just happens to be that week.

100% and to add...some of us just may simply be busy. In case anyone doesn’t understand, it’s hard waiting day by day, hour per hour for a booking to come thru. And for the most part, I don’t really do that unless I’m traveling someplace specifically for appointments. Even though there’s a sense of freedom in our ventures, that doesn’t mean we are constantly free. I wish I could get someone “now” when I’m ready, but reality has it that unless you’re in a prime and busy market, or actually out in person advertising...most days are spent just trying to find ways to stay occupied and not fixated on when the next client is going to come. So when someone reaches out and wants instant attention by sending lots of texts, going ??? when they only sent the message 3 minutes ago, and commanding immediate attention, it just sets the wrong tone.

Not the answer you’re seeking, but I’ve had client here and there play me songs on Keyboard. Crash course lessons on music. My most recent was a friend of mine who played a couple of songs on the guitar ? while me and another friend fucked to the music ? A good way to practice getting comfortable in front of others for video shoots