TallMuscl37

Jokes aside: I do think it’s time to bring back “escorts” now that Donald Dump is out of office. Let’s not forget: Sesta/Fosta was introduced in 2016 and killed off a lot of websites offering descriptive escort services. Since the last election, not much has been replaced... but it seems like police reform is helping. With less of a budget, there doesn’t seem to be as much of a pressure to go after “providers”. But I have heard of a porn shop in Lincoln, Nebraska recently being raided and people arrested for indecent exposure or something like that.

My point exactly! It is inconsiderate. And honestly, I’m not even doing it out of spite. I don’t want clients to think I’m doing this because “other clients” didn’t show up. I’m so past that. For me, it’s more about the fact that there needs to be better understanding from the start. Anybody can say they are going to go somewhere, and not show up. It’s just too easy. I want to get it out of their heads that they can just have these sudden urges to contact me (usually always in the morning or noon lunch hours) and then change their minds...I don’t work like that. I’m tired of working like that. Calling an escort is not “arbitrary”. There needs to be some order. If someone wants me to host, they need to confirm it. People never know what a provider may need to go thru, to accept an appointment. Discretion is understandable 100%... but I’ve gone so far as to even send people barcodes to deposit cash into one of my app accounts. And that’s the option that I’ll continue to give. Sometimes an escort reaches a breaking point in their career: and this is that. And I’m not double backing any more.

Well that’s why I’m being open to give options. The option being: if they can host (particularly in a hotel or verifiable home address), no deposit would be necessary. Granted, I’m sure some providers may have it the other way around: Deposit for outcalls. But for me, I prefer it to host. There’s no worse feeling than giving a client your hotel name/address and perhaps even room number... and they not show up. Except: paying for said hotel and they cancel moments after handing over my credit card 😞 And hotels are unforgiving. I still haven’t gotten my money back, and now have to file a dispute with my bank, which will likely cause me to get either blacklisted from the hotel or my Priceline account. All due to 2 inconsiderables who contacted ME for an appointment and flaked before I even checked into the hotel. And what made it so bad was: It was actually a nice hotel. High rise, amenities, etc. But non of that matters if I leave where I’m already staying, and just sit there on a Friday night with 2 cancelled bookings.

Thanks for replies. Unfortunately it’s just the way it has to be. I had eased up because I worked with other escorts who don’t collect deposits, and get flaked on. But at this point I’m just tired of listening to what other guys are or aren’t doing. I have to do what works for me. And what works for me, is making sure any client who wants me to host: regardless if I’m hosting at home or even if I’m already in a hotel from another client. I don’t know what it is, why the majority of those who book incalls are the most likely to not show up. I even had a client who couldn’t host, but he went and booked a casino hotel with his points. I’ve also have clients who say, “oh I can’t because my wife/accountant, etc.” or “I’ve been scammed before”. Well...too bad. Not my fault. On top of that, they want to book using text-mail or some other burner phone app, and expect me to believe I should trust them to show up. The sneaky issue is: some will show up without sending a deposit. Then I start to think, well maybe I can be more accommodating sometimes. And let my guard down. But it only takes 1 or 2 no shows to cause a complete catastrophe. And like I say, there’s been times where I’ve already been at a hotel...and clients book to come to me, and still don’t show up. I even had a previously met client cancel an incall appointment that was planned about 2-3 days prior. Once again, no deposit. But because I was not feeling well after my covid shot, I just let it slide. Going forward now, the deposit will have to be ready in hand before even sending any address info. If they have trust/privacy issues...they can book a room or find a time to host. I know there’s still the risk of outcalls cancelling as well...but it’s generally less often and with less of a privacy/financial risk. I know there’s the risk too of putting off clients, but here’s how I make sense of it: if they aren’t going to show up, then they aren’t worth keeping around anyway. And odds are, most incall requests don’t show up so, I won’t really be losing much in the long run.

For a brief period of time, I had eased up on my requirement for deposits for incall sessions where the client comes to me. It had seemed like people were showing up a little bit more. But after yesterday, I’ve decided to permanently require all clients asking to come to me, to make a deposit. I’m putting it across all of my ads and upfront. I will absolutely not be hosting anyone if they don’t make a deposit. You would think it’s more risky to go to a client’s place and be stood up, but more often than not: it’s the ones who claim to want to come to me, which end up not showing up. Just yesterday I had 2 clients fail to show up for their appointment request. I didn’t get a deposit from either, because I was in a hurry and needed to book a room to host an “incall day” (I have a place already, but I don’t host appointments from right now). Unfortunately I had went ahead and booked the non refundable rate for the hotel. So far it’s been hell and high water to change the date or get a refund, and I literally had no use for the hotel otherwise. To add insult to injury, one of the clients became very disrespectful, even calling me names and saying I was silly to get a hotel for him. And the same idiot booked an appointment previously where he hosted, and I didn’t go because he wouldn’t pay the deposit. This time, I try to trust him to show up without paying the deposit, and he STILL doesn’t show up. So for the remainder of my escort career: I won’t be accepting anymore excuses or reasons why a client can’t pay a deposit to come to me. It’s just too many times where people want me to host, and they don’t show up. And I either end up out of money, or out of time setting aside time for them and they don’t show up. If they can’t make the deposit, they either need to host or I won’t see them. No exceptions.

Good replies! Another thing I’ll say, and I don’t mean to be pompous or not understanding of a client’s situation... but the other time wasting thing that inadvertently happens is when the client actually is serious about meeting, but there’s very little notice given. So I may spend (waste) the time sorting the arrangements, only to realize they can only meet right then and there, and conveniently it’s usually right after I’ve accepted plans or resolved to do something else. it really annoys the shit out of me lol. I try to place myself in the client’s shoes: people request stuff all the time at the last minute (like having a party of 10 coming to dine in 15 minutes before the restaurant closes lol). And sometimes yes, I’m glad when a client can meet right away. Particularly when I’m just sitting in a hotel room waiting for someone to come over (which is seldom that it happens as conveniently as that) But what does suck is when I can’t, the appointment may never happen... or happens months later, where they’ll sometimes pull the same, “last minute” thing. Sometimes it works, other times it results in missing the same client 2 or 3 times before finally... hard feelings get in the mix. I’ve had this happen a few times. One client even contacted me, and I contacted him back almost right away. But he waited like an hour and a half to respond. By that time, I was already on my way to a friend’s place. I didn’t want to cancel them because I’ve not seen them in a long time. When I tried to get the client to schedule for later in night, he was open to it but then cancelled saying he has to be up at 6 am. That’s why I’m like, some days...what the fuck? Is this how we have to business?

lol, it reminds me of back in the day when I used to “start up” on gay.com. Back then, the word generous wouldn’t get you banned, like the Grindr police do. Guys in Miami would frequently ask me, “are you a scort?”

yah, it’s hard to say if they were having issues... but just that they were getting out the hotel biz. if it’s anything like bars are, perhaps the hotel has been sold to a new owner who will repackage the resort. I like the “nude” resorts, but I do wish there were more chains in the area. I know there was a quality inn that the former host assistant used to at, that was turned into a travelodge. 2 separate chains

I know, that’s all the headlines right! But it’s hard to tell whether it’s the panda or just general. Divorces happen all the time. Just ask an escort, we hear about it ? I have dated during the pandemic, and for the most part it’s hard to tell whether it’s just the general “commune” vibe of the Midwest, or not. But it’s been nothing promising. Non of the people I’ve dated has come into anything, but I also don’t really expect it like I used to anyway. Most these guys out here are in it for sex, or a little attention. So whether or not it works out, is really more of a challenge than a possibility. However I don’t think things were any better or worse being a bachelor. I know some people have taken on stressful jobs during the pandemic, which doesn’t help.

https://tortugadelsol.com/ Stayed here on my last visit to Palm Springs weekend couple years ago. Quaint hotel, not as “active” as the other popular locations, but well kept and in a good location. I had fun when I stayed though. They actually did have real turtles swimming around the ponds. Not sure if it was pandemic related or just general hotel ebb and flow.

ah... yah it sounds like there wasn’t enough notice given on his end either. “Ever” made it back to Denver sounds like he could have reached out further ahead to see what your schedule was like before he arrived or even started making plans to go to Denver. So in that case, there was no “wrong” doing, just a bad case of not enough notice and him not being in town long enough (which also happens to us). Can’t even imagine the number of times I’ve had clients request appointments, and maybe I don’t reply right away or say I am free tomorrow (or even just a couple hours later), and they say; “I’m leaving tomorrow/can’t meet that late, I can’t”. I remember saying that to a mechanic in Florida one time, when I needed a service. Said I was looking for it today, as I was needing to head out tomorrow. He got miffed and told me, “well if you need it done sooner, there’s plenty of other shops along the boulevard to go to.” It was rude, but in the same token I understood EXACTLY how he felt... because I deal with that all the time. So I’ve learned to never go to any service provider expecting something to be done “today” or when I need it (unless it’s a big corporate place with multiple employees, or perhaps someone who just happens to have extra time on their hands). Be flexible. If you can’t, don’t go looking for trouble lol. Time and Space is an inevitable force to contend with ? I know some of my regulars in different cities, I have to check in with them first before I even start planning to go... just to ensure they’re even open to still hiring to begin with, and then contact them again once I start sending out prospective dates for arrival.

That always gets a bit tricky. Trying to catch missed connections. But when you say you didn’t respond right away, how much time went by between the time of contact and the time of reply? And was there any comm in between that time? I had a bit of a “miscommunication” with someone as well earlier this week. But considering the first time he had contacted me in another city and sorta “flaked” (didn’t return my message when I replied to his asking about a session)...I did have to ask for a cancel payment. I wonder if there’s any escorts out there who just get tired of the whole “process” of the duck, duck, goose and retire because of that. Just be done, with it. Because for me that’s really what just makes me want to walk away from it most days. It’s not the escorting itself that’s the issue, it’s the constant having to be plugged in, and running after people. Like I say some cities are worse than others. The South and some areas of the Midwest tend to be where it’s the most common. Probably due to the repressive gay mentality that exists. like yesterday I had someone text me at midnight for a booking. I was out getting pub and grub so I just sent a text saying I wasn’t available right then, but to leave me their contact info and I’ll follow up. They asked about yesterday or tonight, and I replied in the morning. No reply so far. But if he waits hours and hours to respond back, the session might get missed because how am I to know if this is actually going to be an appointment at this point? I wish there was a booking system where people could just make appointments thru online, pay deposit and just be done. But it’s not that easy because obviously there’s too many variables. It’s not we’re a hotel or salon that has set hours and 1 location. I mean, I guess if a guy does have his own incall place and doesn’t travel or have other work obligations, that may could work.

I think this is a big part of the issue here. There needs to be a big shift away from fearing to meet another man for sex over concerns of it being a cop. Hopefully police reform will help curb some of these issues. That’s true, but I feel some of it is also just habitual dick behavior that guys pull. Case in point: a problem client who I’ve blocked and sent away multiple times over the years, because he would flake every other booking, will every so often end up in my inbox. Just yesterday he did again. Because I was very nearby to him, I figured I’d give him another chance to prove himself, he goes thru the whole process, even arranging a time... and no shows. Which I figured he would, which is why I accepted a non business date about an hour after the time we had set to meet. Another client last week reached out to book last Friday. Claims “a friend” gave him my info. But he could’nt meet because work issues. Says he’ll book Saturday. Again, work issues and can’t. He asks how long I’m in town. Asked about Sunday... at that point I said contact me, but I had already decided to go out of town. Sure enough, didn’t contact. I’m just getting real fed up with everything right about now. Part of the problem seems to be there is too many escorts starting out here currently. One escort I met was like, “we’re not competition, they call all of us and they all play games”. It’s almost like he’s essentially saying clients don’t have any discernment, and that I didn’t agree with. I don’t want a client who’s “calling everybody”. But if I can’t get the chance to be a limited commodity, then that’s probably what ends up happening. That can be fixed by changing cities, and I’m pretty much ready to cut ties with certain cities because of that. I think my next step going forward may be to take my number down, require clients to instead give me their number thru IM or email. That way it could be more like, I’ll contact YOU, once I can verify you’re serious. Idk.

ugh, tell me about it. hookup sites are a whole other animal of course. but you’d think as paying members of these sites we advertise on, there would be a little less in the way of faff occurring. Yet I feel I’m wasting just as much time as I would be just doing it for free, and that’s a problem. And I’m sure someone will be like, “well in other businesses...” this is not other businesses. This is advertising on RentMen and Rentmasseur and sometimes A4A (which has surprisingly become less of a time waster site than the other 2). It used to be Adam4Adam was the biggest time waste site, but I’ve easily mitigated that because I just send out auto replies with my number and if they don’t reach out, I don’t bother. With the other sites, people have our number (or IM) to their advantage, so most of the screening out has to be done from my own phone. And it’s just hours and hours wasted each week. Sometimes with not a whole lot to show from it. Just over the weekend I had a “bucket” of inquiries in one of my rotational cities, but only 1 really showed up. I seen how 1 guy I met took calls: he would deal with time wasting clients round the clock (often even the Grindr types) and seem total unphased. But he also didn’t seem to really care about the clients or his presentation (and was usually pretty drugged out). And I’m like, that’s not me. Some guys see clients as numbers, some clients see us as just a phone number. That does not help to build any sort of rapport.

I try to keep a level head when it comes down to it, but some days (or weeks) I just really feel like it makes no damn sense. I can go thru my phone on texts and just see so many responses that just have gone nowhere. Either they just flat out stop responding, or don’t reply to a request to confirm a time, or when trying to arrange something they can’t make it happen outside of the immediate time they want to do it. Or they contact me booking a session, when they clearly are in a position to not be able to (at work, etc etc reason) After a daily dosing of this type of communication, I just end up fatigued of the whole thing because then I start to feel like I’m in a rat race. So I been using the freeze mode of my ad fairly regularly...simply because it’s like a week of break seems a good idea considering the amount of time wasted, adds up to a lot of time that could be expended toward other things. And today I feel like freezing my ad again ??‍♂️

Well I know but...all it takes is 1 bad apple (*coughs” cop) from east of the Cascades, to come into the city and mess everything up. (thankyou, I could not remember the name of the range yesterday! Sierras was stuck in my head). And even though it is 30% of the population, it’s more than half of the state. But I won’t rag on Washington too much, I really don’t know the state too well. I only had a 2 day experience there years ago, when I was stuck in Yakima unintentionally. And a very rude Greyhound driver in Seattle on my way to Boise ? Btw what’s wrong with Spokane?? It does seem like it’s a little “too” popular on episodes of cops and livePD.

That sounds tragic, but anything that is an offer of high rate and a whole week... is just gleaming scam. Not sure if he was new or just convinced Though I must say, the misfortune did sound like a hot fantasy. Wonder if he was being filmed in the process. For all the comparison to Las Vegas, I can understand why. I don’t even like to tour in Vegas without a confirmed client arrangement. I went last month, arrived at 10 p.m. and was out of there by 3 am. It was just a Friday night stop on the way elsewhere lol. But I’d imagine Miami is probably the closest “Dubai of America” just off top of my head. Except for rich Saudis, it’s rich South Americans. Suspicions confirmed ? https://medium.com/@mikebarrytravel/miami-is-dubai-with-cubans-9ab9955196e2

By the way, whom is exactly a Royal as it compares to an American guy? A Politician, Celebrity, or Business tycoon?

Well just to be clear: I was just quoting what a client there told me back around 2011. And I was referring to the surrounding Washington area East of the range. I know Seattle and Portland are considered major liberal players in politics. However, liberal doesn’t mean much in the big scheme of things when it comes down to it. People say downtown Kansas City is “liberal”, people say Denver is liberal, people say Austin Texas is liberal. But liberal may only go so far as a person not attending church every Sunday. And many “liberal” cities are often nestled in conservative states. I mean, haven’t we learned much from Minneapolis? Minnesota is 1 of the whitest White states there are, yet Minneapolis is more of a diverse nature, that can’t seem to avoid being in the headlines for how “liberal” they actually are ??‍♂️ In all these so called liberal cities, there’s pockets of intolerance. Case in point: **Pardon me in advance if this borders on “political” discussion.

That’s a good strategy! Thanks for sharing. Especially considering missed clients can be open to book on a future visit. When I mentioned the drying up effect, I was more referring to cities being visited over an extended period of time: 3-4, even 5 years. And that may not even be due to anything within my control, but just the dynamics that change cities sometimes. Like I mentioned: Salt Lake City used to be a hit maker for me back in the day, but I’ve noticed more and more escorts going out there, and it’s also taken on a more “vagrant” vibe in the downtown areas. On my most recent trip out, I only had 1 client show up. The rest flaked. I was disappointed, but not exactly surprised. I had been going there for years previously and was noticing the steady trend. Guys like @VictorPowers might have better insight. But of course it just varies. I think had I stayed for a few more days or even a week, I’d of picked up more. But I was already annoyed, frustrated, and booked a client in another state... so that opportunity wasn’t in the cards.

Wow. This makes me want to start planning that I'm "available" to come out ?. I would love to visit the tallest building in the world... Did you find English was a predominant 2nd language there? Curious to know, were there any mention of whether these escorts were getting more tops or bottoms as clients? Seems closest to get is to be in cities that cater a big international diversity. Only difference like Ben said, it's hard to get that same level of "exotic" factor in the US because all the big cities already have every flavor of escort a client could want. Not to mention some of the royal Arabs probably won't touch America due to the political issues.

I'd be curious to know all these myself. I don't have plans to go to Dubai, but it seems like a place where someone could pull major numbers ? However, in America: I don't recall ever having a Saudi Arabian (or United Arab Emirates) client. I can't vouch that it would even be safe to escort there, and be gay...so wouldn't have a clue. Regardless, it's intriguing to think about. I have met guys before from Egypt, Morocco, Algeria, and India for sure. I know each is unique, but for the most part the strict rule of Islam and Muslim are heavy in those regions. However, that could be an advantage if the closeted guys perhaps seek out some forbidden fruit from time to time. Here's an interesting read: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.haaretz.com/amp/middle-east-news/.premium.MAGAZINE-what-happened-when-four-gays-from-tel-aviv-took-a-vacation-to-dubai-1.9407317

Yeah, I've even been hesitant of changing my stored card info...mainly just for convenience purposes. But hopefully the bitcoin thing doesn't become standard. I was getting into that a lot with backpage back in the day.

Would be interesting to get a reply regarding this, but I know years ago I went out to Seattle. It wasn’t exactly brimming with biz at the time, but I’ve posted there and seem to get hits. I was considering to go last month, but I favored a warmer destination instead. That said, it wouldn’t surprise me. One of my Seattle clients did tell me at the time, that people can be a bit uptight. He said Vancouver is a bit more liberal. I know in my experience riding thru Washington state, it’s gets a bit conservative there too once you get outside of the metropolitan. Though I have been curious to check out Spokane in Washington. Then again, it seems a lot of cities could be like that. I know Chicago and Atlanta feels like a “regulars only” town. Like you just have to be there all the time, to make it happen. And if you’re traveling thru, you’re just one of the many traveling thru. But I personally wouldn’t feel compelled to move to a city that I can’t do good visiting in, because who knows how long it could take to build a regular base. I think you summed it up very well: there is no best city. Just have to find the one that works best for what you’re offering. That should be good news, considering it could mean that one doesn’t have to spend a bunch of money trying to compete in major markets, they can likely make something happen near or where they are. I know in my case, I’ve pretty much just resolved to traveling. It’s my fantasy that I could own a private plane and just fly all over. Some cities (especially small to medium sized) end up drying up after a period of time, and unless you have an alternate gig in town tiding you over...a trip is a must. I go back and forth to 1 city currently. My phone will be blowing up when I post in advance, but after about a week or 2 of being there it starts to mellow out. After about 3 weeks, I usually ready to move on again because it’ll be bone dry.

Well I’ll just say this: if I were a client, I would feel safer having an escort come to me. In fact, my hookups usually go that way. Reason being: I have wasted time once in awhile going to meet guys at their place, and they pull the dreaded, “I don’t feel comfortable” excuse. I know that’s not a discretion standpoint, but I’m much less likely inclined to go visit guys than I am to have them come to me. Not to mention, I can handle the annoyance of someone not showing up, better than I can of going on a blank trip. And some guys out here just be having guys come over to waste their time. The only time I travel (go to their place) for hookups is for clients. I don’t trust the vast majority of guys out here to be who and where they say they’ll be, especially having been played a few times before. I even had to cancel a hookup tonight with a guy I met before: he said, “I’ll sneak you thru my window, because of my roommate.” Young college kid but still. I’m like, bruh: I am 33 years too old to be sneaking in anywhere. There’s too much going on in the news, I don’t even want to chance it. Either introduce me or we can meet at a hotel or air bnb like the 1st time. It’s silly how many guys out here who do host, have to seemingly “sneak” someone in. I tell them everytime, I won’t feel right doing it... I’m 33, not 13.